How do I nudge a high-functioning autist into recovery? I used

if hes actually fucking autistic there is no fucking cure.

>>18229217
>I used to be an insufferable autist myself but I managed to improve

Is this really so?

How have things improved for you?

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>>18229240
Autism is not the same as incapable of changing. This very attitude is probably the reason my friend is stuck in his development.
I'm not talking about changing his autism (in fact I'm not using the neurotypical norm at all), but the childish and immature part of him that just wants to play videogames and browse memes all day.

>>18229284
I started paying attention to my surroundings and picking up on more social cues. Which turned me from completely dysfunctional trainspotter to fairly competent, if eccentric, adult.

>>18229564
What kind of social cues? That could probably be a gateway for your friend

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>>18229564
>adult

You aren't competent, you're just pretentious.

If you really want to be a friend, get a grip first.

>>18229564

>autism is not the same as incapable of changing

of course, which is why i didnt say that. i said there is no cure.

big diffrence

>>18229217
I knew a guy who only talked about Nintendo and sex. Now he goes to Nintendo conventions and has sex. Should someone pressure him to change? He lives better than a neurotypical. I don't know what role his parents play, but it's exceptional anyway.

People with social problems who I'd say need help are those who are bitter and just isolate rather than experience the backlash of social judgement. They might actually present as more normal, but this is because they resent themselves and the ways they are different.

You think you're helping, but you might not be. Autism can't be cured.

>>18229240
>>18229596
Bad advice ITT. I predict much more incoming.

Also I used to be super autistic. I still am, under the sheets, but I worked hard and to learn how to function and succeed. It took an overwhelming desire to achieve a goal, and the fear of living life as a failure to motivate me to make the changes. It caused me lots of pain over a few years, embarrasing social situations, losing friends for stupid reasons, stupid choices, but eventually I learned enough to function.

If your friend is satisfied playing video games and living that sort of life, then he won't have this burning desire to change. You best shot will be to understand his desires in life (if there are any) and explain to him, in an autistic way, how his choices are inhibiting him, and he can make different choices to reach his goals. Basically understand what really matters to him.

>>18229568
It's difficult to put into words. It's like verbally explaining how to ride a bicycle ten years after you learned it yourself.

>>18229596
I'm sorry for using inappropriate language. It really is a case of being childsh, though. Neurotypicals can't tell the difference between autism and immaturity so autistics are being allowed to act stupid when they can and should be held to a higher standard. This is very bad for a lot of autists, not just my friend.

>>18229729
I'm not trying to cure his autism. I'm trying to make him develop as a human being.

>>18229756
you equate autism to being a failure. it is retarded to think that autism ahs a cure.

>explain how his choices are inhibiting him
who the hell are you guys, and why do you think you are therapists?

even a therapist can only change someone who wants to change. maybe you guys need to understand that, for some reason, blasting someone with arguments that they should be different people does not usually work.

>>18229766
>you equate autism to being a failure.
and you don't.

>>18229770
yep

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>>18229756
Thank you.
I think I misrepresented his issue a little.
He is a huge nerd that plays videogames, but he is extroverted and does things with his life. The main problem is that he can't hold a proper conversation and he acts very oddly, and as a result he doesn't make a lot of friends, he pisses off a lot of people don't take him seriously.

When I met him I had worse social skills than him, but I have since surpassed him. But he still believes he has "asperger light, you can barely notice it" just because he is extroverted.

>>18229766
Ignorant neurotypical detected. Neither him or I ever implied that autism has a cure. Please try to disable this knee-jerk reaction and assumption.

>>18229810
>ignorant neurotypical detected
neurotypical means more likely to be aware of psychology and social stuff like we are talking about, but I'm also pretty spaced out 24/7 and maybe not neurotypical

>neither him or I ever implied that autism has a cure
nigga it's all over this thread. you're like, "He needs to fix his autistic behavior."

maybe that statement just lacks nuance? you want him to live better in spite of his autism.

I would just say be careful, because that autism is a part of who he is. Maybe just encouraging him to be happy would be the right thing to do.

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>>18229766
>even a therapist can only change someone who wants to change
It's up to him if he want to change or not I guess. But I want to give him the choice.

>>18229839
Still no. I do not want to repeat anymore that being immature is different from being autistic, and improving yourself is different from "curing" your autism. If a man without legs could become more free if he got prosthetics instead of rolling around on a weelchair you wouldn't be all "omg, stop trying to cure his leglessness, respect the fact that he is different"

I mentioned autism only because it heavily influences how and why he is stuck. It's not really the autism itself that that I care about but his faulty attitude towards it. Both me and that anon shared our stories of changing our attitudes to illustrate the importance of it and neither of us claimed to be cured.

>Maybe just encouraging him to be happy would be the right thing to do.
So his mom should be responsible for him instead so he can be happy in her basement? This fate is completely avoidable.

>>18229872
why don't you be more specific about what his problems are then, before everyone falls off the thread?

you've just said he's
>too focused on his specific interests
not sure if that describes the problem
>in his basement all the time
I can see how this can be a problem, but why is he in his basement all the time?

and I'm sure there's a great number of things wrong, but you haven't listed much more than this.

we can't help you figure out how to solve what is going on with your friend without you fully describing the situation.

and, unfortunately, they say, "you can't change people," for a reason...you can guide and help them, though, if they are willing.

>>18229872
>>18229887
sorry for being so argumentative. I just misread you. maybe repost the thread and provide more details so we can understand more what is wrong with your friend and what you want to accomplish by helping him

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>>18229887
Okay

He is very unfocused when he talks, he goes off on random tangents and then he tries to force the conversation to be about things he finds funny. (which would be funny if his deliverance wasn't so poor)
He doesn't recognize that there is room for improvement, he instead talks about meeting other autists or people who understand autism as the goal.
Even someone like me who has autism and likes him unconditionally find it difficult to converse with him so I don't think the above is a solution.
He also has poor executive functions and impulse control, so he has poor study technique and doesn't get things done that he needs to do. Then he becomes upset that he doesn't get anything done or learn as much as he needs to.

>>18229907
>maybe repost the thread
I'll try that in a week or two maybe. Thanks for helping me hone in on what I need to say.

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>>18229762
>I'm the posterboi of pretentiousness yet I preach of acting stupid

I wonder if this meme can form a sentence without using an empty label?

>I used to be an insufferable autist myself
No you weren't, you were probably some edgy kid who now thinks he "had autism lol xD"

And stop trying to adjust other people to your own standards. If he has autism, then he has a motherfucking mental illness.
Don't be a prick, don't go around trying to "change" people. Your ideas of how the world should work are not absolute and universal.
Holy fuck, I hate people like you, I really do, let other people live instead of focusing on their "problems". If you want to be a friend, try to be understanding, not trying to change him.
I'm legit mad right now. I really hate you neurotypicals.

>>18230498
Or maybe he actually was mildly autistic. That's the whole concept of a "spectrum". People on the lighter side of it probably can learn to be "normal".

>>18230498
And what's even worse, not only do you want to reduce him to your perception of the world, but you want to get him into the absolutely horrible social game that only shames people like him and holds absolute bullshit as values that have to be held just for the fuck of it.
You actually want to make him miserable.
I'm glad I don't have a "friend" like you, honestly.

>>18229596
HAHAHAHaahahaha
Why would you wait in line to see the Mona Lisa just to look at it through a screen and take a picture with your shitty camera?

There are great pictures of that old rag online, why not take a moment to enjoy real life?

What's wrong with people?

>>18230564
ugh, yeah, and look at all the pictures around them. Far more interesting that an overrated painting everybody has seen over and over again.
I remember when I saw a surrealism exposition. People would flock around the single Dali as if it cured stupidity.

>>18229762
>It's difficult to put into words. It's like verbally explaining how to ride a bicycle ten years after you learned it yourself.

If you can't explain social cues with words then you're not an autist.

>>18229762
>so autistics are being allowed to act stupid when they can and should be held to a higher standard.

WTF is he going to get out of acting more normal?

What is it he WANTS that he will ACTUALLY OBTAIN by changing his behavior? Not a God damned thing.

People need the skills to get along in life and to not get into legal trouble but they don't need to conform to instinctual mammal behavior or abstract (non-real) Ideas of achievement and status.

You as a neurotipical automatically are rewarded by hormones in your body when you "do good" and gain acceptance during day to day social interactions. That's how you magically learn how to behave.

Your friends not going to get any feel good hormones. Why should he go out of his way to force his behavior? He gets nothing.

>>18230821
This is a myth. The reason that autists are bad at social skills is because they are hypersensitive to stimuli, leading to them escaping into their own minds, leading to them never learning social skills properly, as well as giving rise to a whole host of symptoms. The idea that there is some kind of social-skills lobe that is damaged in autists is a lie that you tell grandmothers that won't understand otherwise. Autism isn't a social disability, it affects all kinds of cognition and zooming in on the social skills part is an oversimplification.

>>18230498
I have a diagnosis.

>>18230921
>What is it he WANTS that he will ACTUALLY OBTAIN by changing his behavior?
He would be less disabled and more higher-functioning, opening up more options in his life.

OP that was a wonderful, thoughtful presentthink it'll just blow over soon. Parents are assholes but what you did was good.

>>18231152
You are not higher functioning.
You are just a dog doing tricks for treats you can never taste.

>>18231191
I function, therefore I am high-functioning, regardless of how bad my autism is. (Which is quite bad I'll admit)