>You have to be happy on your own before getting into a relationship.

It means a relationship won't solve deeper underlying issues. Take /r9k/, many of them unironically believe getting a girlfriend will solve their depression.It won't.

Or in your case
> Obviously I want a certain someone in my life and I'm not happy without that person.
If you arent happy with your life, having a girl won't make everything ok.

If you are miserable and hate your life then getting a girlfriend won't fix that.

>>18227922
When you're comfortable with being a lone and being in love with yourself, meeting someone else is someone that enhances that to another level.
Imaging eating a really good burger that you could imagine getting better but someone comes along and shows you that grilling the onions makes the burger 10x better. That's what a great relationship partner does.
They also do anal.

>>18227942
Ever consider that one could be depressed because they're lonely?

>>18227965
Being lonely and being depressed are two completely different things.

>>18227970
Doesn't change my point. If someone isn't happy because their single, being in a relationship would solve that.

>>18227974
>If someone isn't happy because their single, being in a relationship would solve that.

LOL
You know how I know you're young?

Jokes aside, that's not the answers to anyone's problems. It's a common trap that kinda make sense but in practice doesn't work. It's like thinking that a shitty marriage can be solved by having kid. My parents tried that and I know first hand it does NOT.
You'll see at one point, I wish you good luck.

>>18227978
So your tip to anyone who wants to seek love is what, then?

What about those who also suffer from loneliness and self-confidence?

>>18227952
But you can't want your onions to be grilled, or else you'll never get them grilled. Even though it's 10x better, wanting your burger to be 10x better is wrong.

That's the advice people give.

>>18228004
Get a sex change, you Pussy

>>18228008
>But you can't want your onions to be grilled, or else you'll never get them grilled. Even though it's 10x better, wanting your burger to be 10x better is wrong.

Clarify this
If you make the best fucking burger in the area the grilled onions will come to you.

>>18228013
>>18227978
Right.

>getting everything you want in life - love, cuddles, sex, trust, partnership, a family potentially - won't solve anything.

>>18228025
>If you make the best fucking burger in the area the grilled onions will come to you.
If you make the best burger in the world, it's the best burger in the world and you don't fucking need or want onions.

If this was true nobody would be in a relationship and the human race would be gone in a generation.

>>18228008
No, the advice people give is:

If you have a shitty burger, no amount of grilled onions will make it taste good. The burger needs to have a base level of good taste before adding onions is worth it. Otherwise you are wasting onions.

>>18228042
>You can't have a good tasting burger and at the same time be upset that everyone has a burger that's 10x better than yours.

>>18228048
And what if you just really fucking like grilled onions, its like your favorite thing to put in a burger.

I just don't see why not being in a relationship, and not having all the good things that come with it, is an invalid reason to be unhappy.

>>18228048
Basically. Stop worrying about what others have and focus on yourself. Are you really saying you want to start a relationship based on envy?

Learn to be happy with what you have, then you can move onwards to better things (aka pussy) without settling on the first broad that speaks to you.

>>18228048
You can't.
There's always someone with a snigger dick than you, a higher IQ, better with people, taller, happier.

The only time you should look at your neighbors plate is to see if they have enough. Your grilled onions will come.

Be happy with what you have until then, it's fucking Easter.

(I love the grilled onions meme)

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>>18227922

I'm reading through this thread and you're not getting the point. I can tell you've never been in a serious relationship before or you'd know what we were talking about.

You see, in the working world of adult relationships depending on another person for your happiness is what we call a recipe for disaster. This person you've fallen for, now has the responsibility for single handedly propping up your happiness.

You don't have to be okay with every aspect of your life before you get into a relationship you have to be okay with yourself. If you make it someone else's job to fill holes in your sense of self then they will eventually grow to resent you and the relationship will end. No reasonable woman wants to be your crutch. Its exhausting being with someone who depends on you for all of their happiness. Thats not a relationship. Its more like a parasitic relationship; where one leeches its emotional needs off of the other and at the end of the day it isn't really mutual. Its just you taking care of another person who isn't emotionally mature or strong enough to maintain their sense of worth without you constantly around feeding into them.

It sucks, dude. If you're depressed because you aren't in a relationship the answer isn't getting into a relationship and forcing someone else to be the cure for your depression, its figuring out how to properly process your feelings of loneliness in a healthy manner without turning into an emotional vampire.

You're not supposed to cure loneliness with a relationship. You supposed to have friends.

>>18228078
That makes a bit of sense.
>figuring out how to properly process your feelings of loneliness in a healthy manner without turning into an emotional vampire.
Have yet to figure that out.

I just think if I'm okay with myself then I won't want one and that defeats the whole purpose. But it's also partly the confirmation that I am desirable and capable of attracting someone, and that makes it hard to be okay with myself unless it actually happens. It's also for the experience and being able to say that you've been there, done that. People treat you differently and wonder what's wrong if you haven't.

>>18228090
You can't cuddle, have sex, put all your trust, and start a family with friends.

>>18228076
Guess I worded it wrong. More like, you have a good burger but you know that it could be 10x better and everyone is telling you that it's easy to get grilled onions get you can't get them and you have no reason why and it's driving you mad.

But the burger is good on its own, aint it?

Well yes, but now you've teased me with this grilled onion shit and I can't help but to wonder what all the fuss is about. Maybe it won't be as good as I expected, maybe I it will cause its own set of problems, but at least I fucking have the experience of trying it behind me.

>>18228097

>I just think if I'm okay with myself then I won't want one and that defeats the whole purpose.

No you're on the right track you're just getting the purpose mixed up.

Lets say, for example, you want to be a famous musician. You realize the odds are stacked against you but you work hard always. Accepting the fact that you might fail from time to time is just as an important part as wanting to succeed. Just because you will be okay if you don't become famous does not mean you don't want it, it just means that you're not solely depending on becoming famous to fulfill you as a person and make you happy.

There are a lot of things in life that we want to acquire and achieve and being able to be happy even if those things don't come to fruition does not make us want them any less, it just makes us strong people.

I understand your desire but at the same time you need to understand that desperation and insecurity are one of those traits that really put women off in all stages of a relationship. A woman (a good one, anyways) doesn't want to give you purpose she wants to be with a man who already has purpose.

Like I said, its a very unfair and heavy burden to put on someone to be solely responsible for your happiness. You don't have to be ok with not being in a relationship, you just need to balance out your life more so that being in a relationship is more like a power boost and less like a life saver. If you force a woman to be your life saver eventually she's buckle under the weight and both of you will drown.

>>18228111
I like the analogy but getting famous is a hell of a lot more rare than getting a decent girlfriend. Very few people get famous so you have to love the craft, its the only way. But almost everyone gets into a relationship or has sex eventually so you have to wonder what the fuck is wrong with you if you don't.

I get what you're saying though and it helps a bit. I know desperation is unattractive but I didn't willingly become this way, that's built up over years and years of trying to improve and getting nothing.

Who's more likely to get a gf, the guy with enough interesting and fulfilling things going on in his life to not even be stressed out about being single, or the depressed guy whos life is so empty he desperately seeks a girl to fill the void?

Girls don't want to be the solution to our problems, they want a guy who already has it all so they can just ride his wave.

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>>18227922

When you love someone it's often because that person fills up a certain void in your life, like lack of confidence or self-worth. Sometimes when that person fills such a large void in your life, that relationship turns unhealthy; like being overdependent on your partner.

But you should always work to fill this void independently; no women is going to respect you if you don't improve yourself. Go to the gym, study harder, have fun, learn, etc. When you get better as a person because of these efforts, people will love you for that and you will love yourself too; your definition of love will change as well from dependency to truly appreciating someone who compliments you. Regardless of having a girlfriend or not, you should always improve yourself every single day.

>>18227922
It's nothing but typical normie blather.

If you are good-looking and/or wealthy, then you will drown in pussy no matter what your 'attitude' is. Women cannot read your mind, and only pay attention to what's on the surface.

All this self-improvement bullshit is doled out by Staceys to think all men have a chance of getting laid.

>>18228110
FUCK THESE KEK ASS BURGER ANALOGIES HOLY

>>18228135
There's the paradox then. Can't be happy without a gf, can't get a gf unless you're happy.

Honestly though I spent the first 20 years of my life focused on hobbies and being talented and unique because everyone said not to focus on girls, and sure enough nothing happened. I guarantee nothing will happen unless I actually put work into it, which is why I get so fucking annoyed when people say "focus on yourself and girls will come :^)" because they never have. Now I'm realizing oh shit I missed a huge portion of life growing up so I'm scrambling to make myself more attractive and improve myself and actually ask girls out. I've been fucking lied to, and what was just a small problem has blown up to be this huge fucking thing that I put all my focus on.

If I wasn't interested in girls I would be content with living in a shitty apartment with male friends doing whatever the fuck, because I have nobody to impress or give me importance, outside of whatever hobby I had. But instead I gotta eat right, exercise, stay hygienic, get high paying jobs, and socialize just to find some love. Honestly it's shit. Nobody else gives a fuck about your looks, or anything personal in your life, so you can neglect all of that if you wanted to and still maintain. Employers hire ugly people, and shitty people have friends. Everything I do is just so I can be in a good relationship with someone.

Just ranting now.

>>18228097
>You can't cuddle, have sex, put all your trust, and start a family with friends.
Of course not. You can't have those things without being emotionally stable either, and that's why you need friends like any normal person.

>>18228183
I have no problems getting friends. That's kinda what's got me annoyed. I have all these male friends that I keep getting and no girlfriends. All my hobbies and shit are predominately male so I get them a lot.

>>18228189
Then get female friends, you fool.

>>18228192
Female friends aren't going to date me and anyone who's mildly attractive I'm going to accidentally fall for.

>>18228175
Dude, same here. Women say they don't find it attractive when men don't have a life on their own, but it really does come down to looks.

A hot dude who's depressed and clings to girlfriends is going to have a lot more success with women than a average guy who has hobbies and friends etc.

>>18228196
The point is exactly for you not to date them. Can't you just be light friends with women without getting your desperate hopes up? If the answer is no then you are now aware of what you need to work on.

>>18228211
He might be more successful at getting laid and maybe even starting a relationship because of his looks, but in the long run things are never going to work out for him.

>>18228215
No? Whats the point of only ever being friends with them? Its not like they're going to introduce me to people. They'll just continue to confirm that nobody actually is interested in me romantically.

>>18227922
A lot of people think that by finding the right partner, everything will be alright and it will be happily ever after, but that's not the case.

It's not being happy about being single, rather its being happy about yourself. That means having self-confidence and being in good condition, both physically and mentally, that you can smile, have fun and be lovable and at the same time be able to control yourself in times of sadness or frustration, without anyone having to be your emotional cushion.

Think of it this way; if you do love someone so much, why would you want to put the burden of fixing your problems on her?

She may fill in a small piece of the puzzle that is your life, but she shouldn't be responsible for making up the bigger picture of it.

Having a partner doesn't mean just having someone to be by your side in times of need nor just someone to put up with your bullshit, the both of you have to grow together and not just be a means to patch each other's wounds.

>>18227965
Sadness is a feeling, depression is a mental illness.

Loneliness usually brings sadness but that is understandable and you don't really need a romatic relationship to deal with it, friends are actually even better for that.

>>18227922

Be a good person and people will want to be with you.

>>18228230
How do you know that? Seriously, giving such a negative response only proves me right. Women aren't monsters. They're people. If they like you, they'll help you out like a friend. Pretty obvious you've never had a female friends before.
Having women as friends as a lot of advantages, first the obvious ones come from the tips they can give you and the other women they introduce you to, but second from the good it does to you. How do you expect do develop a healthy relationship with a woman if you can't even be friends with one of them? Be friends with women means you stop looking at them constantly as potential partners, meaning you stop getting your hopes up every time you meet one and getting crushes out of the blue only to obviously get rejected because they don't know you. It boosts your confidence because then it means you can not only control yourself as a human being (a sign of maturity) but also because you're not always getting the highs-and-downs of constant crushes and rejections.
Seriously, at the very least you could just try. Give it a shot. There's a saying that says "if you keep doing the same thing over and over again but not changing anything, don't expect different results otherwise you're insane". You want different results? Try different things than what you're used to. The advice I gave you in particular makes sense, whether you like it or not.

>>18228242
But I can't help but to secretly crush on them if they're slightly attractive. If I can be friends with them then that's even better for a partner and that makes me want them more. Plus I can't help but to think their kindness could implicitly hint at something. Its never worked in the past.

>>18228269
You need to find what makes it inside you to constantly develop crushes on women who are minimally nice to you because that shit ain't normal.
Try some deep reflection.

>>18227922
Insecure people are emotionally or psychologically abusive in a relationship, essentially.

As one who has been insecure and in a relationship, and in a relationship with insecure people, i can tell you, you can be a real shithead.

Then theres also the whole thing where if you dont have your own life built then once the honeymoon phase wears out youll be a boring partner. And hyper dependent on your partner because theyre really all you have.

Thats what they mean. Doesnt mean you wont feel sad or empty or thrilled n happy without a partner. Just that if you have self hatred or insecurity it wont be a great ride.

>>18228317
Lack of love my whole life probably.

>>18228340
You're not going to find that love if you keep forcing it.
You need to be okay with yourself first, then with women second.
Only then can you accept love in your life truly.

>>18227922
This thread basically sounds like it's talking about similar concepts as the one for a couple days ago. Might be worth it for you to read some of the responses in it >>18225146

you have to approach women usually. if you *just* want a relationship you can get one almost immediately, but obviously you want more than that. since you are heavily invested on your personal merit, you want a woman who compliments and justifies your merit. you probably also want a woman attractive enough to offset all the missed sex opportunities in pursuit of bettering yourself.

fact is most of the people on /adv/ are vapid whores and dudebro weedfags who know that the word 'tomorrow' exists in their vocabulary despite never thinking about.

these are the people you've been taking advice from, and guess what? you've been lied to, now get over it and get over yourself. just ask a woman out that you might like instead of worrying more of her interest in you, because women often rely on stronger interest from men

>>18227922

When people say this, they mean "don't be a swirling vortex of pain and misery that is hoping desperately for someone to magically swoop in and save them without them having to put any effort into their own life whatsoever, whose problems disappear because some wish fairy prince or princess takes care of their every need."

Someone who might have baggage but has their head on straight, who has taken steps towards taking care of themselves and taking the fight to their inner demons. Someone you can live a life with and grow together as people instead of one sponging off the other in a financial, emotional, physical, or combination thereof until the next thing wanders into their life.

What you are describing, the lack of happiness without that person, is cute and romantic at first. Six months later, it starts to wear a little thin at times, but it's still cute. A year later, it starts to get tiresome. The dependence, what was once cute now just seems like a lack of effort on their part. Two years later, it's become clear that there's no balance in the relationship. No give and take - the one who lacks happiness always takes.

We have to spend effort to make you happy. But what about the times where I want to be coddled? To be treated like a king instead of a servant? Because after a while, when you notice it's you doing the work 9 times out of 10, the "I need you" becomes stale.

tl;dr I'd rather be with someone who's happy anyway, but they're even more so when they're with me.

In order to enter a relationship you must be satisfied outside of a relationship

Inverse basically, when life gives you lemons and you make lemonade life will get angry and expect you to make milk, so life robs you of your lemons and gives you a cow with expectations of you providing milk

You have to be happy in a relationship in order to have it taken away

If you are happy outside of a relationship life will present you with potential relationships

Being in a relationship might not solve all problems, but it could also potentially be what you're missing in life.

I personally don't subscribe to the whole "you need to be happy with yourself before you get in a relationship". I see it more as: "Okay, I've filled out my time with stuff that makes me marginally happy or content, now I'd just like someone to share it all with."

As long as having a girlfriend would be the only thing you have going for you, then, by all means, pursue it even if you aren't fully happy with your current situation.

A relationship is like the spice that makes a meal tolerable. Without spices, a meal is just a meal without any flavor. Sure, it'll make you full but it won't taste good.

>>18227922
Someone else can't fix your problems. No one can, desu. Only you can. That doesn't mean you can't date if you got baggage and shit, but don't expect someone else to just magically fix you.

>>18228435
This summed it up perfectly.

Be in a good state and not constantly searching for someone to fix you.

When you get in a relationship; you are happy by yourself or with friends, but when your lover is added in you are even more happy.

Don't want to be a party pooper, but having a gf did make me a lot happier even if I didn't have any friends etc.

>>18227922
If you think you're worthless, you are going to unconsciously broadcast "Don't bother with me - I'm worthless" vibes that women will pick up on (They're very sensitive to that).

If, without being overly vain, you think "I'm a pretty nice guy" you will carry yourself in a way that makes you attractive to others.

>>18227922
are you me, OP?

this thread makes me feel like shit, because I see myself as a complete disaster of a person, and I'm inexperienced at 30... perhaps I should just kill myself for being so retarded

>>18228008
If the burger is shitty so you want the onions grilled, you will end up with a still shitty burger with grilled onions. Most likely the onions will also be ruined by the excessively shitty burger.

If you have a great burger and you want the onions grilled, you will have an even better burger and the taste will be enhanced in both.

Your burger is shitty op, and it will ruin your onions. You need to make a good burger first.

But you won't listen and will find yourself on this thread saying the same thing we are years from now.

>>18228027
Love does nothing for someone who can't feel it. Trust is impossible without two functioning people.

You will not be able to trust with low self esteem. You will doubt their love.

They could be the best thing in the world and you will ruin it with your depression and anxiety like everything else. TRUST ME. Fix yourself first.

>>18228097
You'll want one. But you're want one to share your happiness with them, not so they will share their happiness with you.

I agree that a romantic relationship should not be the backbone for a happy life. However, why the fuck do normalfags imply the opposite when it comes to having friends? Having a gf would make you an emotional leech, but if you have a friend then that's not the case? Doesn't make any sense. Personally, I have no real urge to have friends because I'm not a social person and I generally don't care for others.

>>18228211
Why are you defining success as " number of relationships " and not " duration of successful relationships "?

>>18227922
>>18227922
>>18227946

Thanks for typing my answer, now i dont have to type it myself.

>>18228972
Because friends are multiple people that all pull each other up through good times and the bad. Unconditional love for each other through depressions and anxietys.
In relationships love is very conditional until way later. Also you're not sleeping with your friend. Sex makes people weird

>>18228972
Because human beings are social by nature.

>>18228211
No no it's not.
I had lots of tinder matches and even messages from girls and it got me nowhere (so far, I'm gonna go back there. Well, I dated one girl for a few months but we didn't hit it off). I know I was and am pretty good looking, but it's definitely not enough. Women may like your face and body. They WON'T like it when you are awkward irl, or it simply won't go anywhere because you won't make a move and neither will she because she's a woman.
Not that I care cause currently I don't feel pressure to find anybody, but the point is,
1) you need to actually try and put yourself out there etc. no matter how you look
2) your 'vibe' is very important to seduce a girl too, the less awkward it is the easier

>>18229016
I don't think depressed=awkward but I get your point

>>18228982
Well the thing is that I do not believe that I need other people for entertainment or going through hard times. That can be done on my own. I'm also not very empathetic. However, I need a girl to fulfill my biological and hormonal needs.

>>18229023
Well I actually meant 'bad' vibes in general. And I don't believe a guy who isn't not a 'normie' and has such problems with himself can be smooth and charismatic unless he's a sociopath.

>>18229060
Well I'm basically that type but the only reason I'm so smooth and charismatic is because I've always been around women and women have always chased me. No matter how bad things got in my life or in my head I've found comfort in women and could banter with them almost effortlessly.
Obviously I'm an outlier but just saying

>>18229070
Reé.
*silent mildly displeased screeching in a French accent*

>>18227922

Its going after the fact that people the girl doesn't like a desperate guy. Hating being alone can easily lead to desperation

>>18229047

Well fuck if thats all you are missing in your life then prostitutes or Tinder hookups can make you just as happy.

You sound very shallow though. People always look for what others can do for them but dont ask themselves what they can do for others.

The path to happiness is altruism. Love is selfless giving and expecting nothing in return. That really is all you need.

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>>18229096
He's not ready for the altruism pill yet lol

That's about 6 tiers up his hierarchy

>>18228941
I've already fixed myself. Being single and alone is the only problem I currently have. It's the root of all my current problems, actually. Like my low self-esteem and loneliness. My low self-esteem comes from the fact that nobody has shown to love or want me in the past making me consider I'm unable to loved, and my loneliness comes from being touch deprived for so long. I wouldn't have these burdens if I've been with someone before. I'd at least have confirmation of my romantic value and the experience to make my next relationships better.

I have hobbies and friends and passions. I'm in college getting good grades. Those don't get me romantic relationships.

>>18229096
That's not OP btw.

>>18229101
>I'd at least have confirmation of my romantic value

You innately have romantic value
Why do you need anyone to confirm that for you? Even if you were absoluete shit in your relationship all it would take was practice.
It's like never have played the piano and thinking that you have to be able to play a song the first time you sit down.
Stop worrying about playing a song and just sit down and bang the keys

>>18229101
You don't need romantic love when you have friends who love you.
You're anything but fixed.

>>18229101
Please don't listen to the other dudes.

I wrote >>18228495 earlier. People have different needs. Not everyone can be happy single.

>>18227922
It means you need to know yourself and who you are. What your strengths and weaknesses are. What is wrong with you.

It's why recently sober addicts are told to stay single for their first year sober.

>>18228027
That's what you want in life?

Pathetic my dude.

>>18228495
>A relationship is like the spice that makes a meal tolerable.
A relationship to me is the plates you eat on. You can eat on very good plates but if the food isn't good anything else doesn't matter.

>>18229101
Are you attractive?

>>18229124
The plate doesn't change the experience though. Having a girlfriend can definitely change experiences such as everyday life and travels, hence the spice analogy.

>>18229096
Altruism is fucking retarded. Egoism and namely exestebtial authenticity is the real answer. Being true to yourself and then maximizing that against externalities. Altrusim is just giving up and being a pussy because it's easy.

>>18229131
You can do those things with friends or alone if you want to.

>>18229131
What the fuck is with stupid people and traveling?

How is that your end all experience? It's simple consumption like everything else you do. Be creative.

>>18229127
No clue. I've got a few compliments in my life from people who may have just been being nice and mixed reactions online.

I think I look pretty good on some days and hideous on others, I can't really trust my own judgement because it varies.

>>18229137
A friend can in some cases substitute a girlfriend, but if you have a connection with someone and you're doing an activity with that person, the activity instantly becomes a lot better.

>>18229138
>FIGHT THE CAPITALISTS

>>18229141
So you can't have a connection with friends?

>>18229140
How blind are you to details that you can't tell by looking in the mirror or at a picture.

I'm attractive.

Why don't you get a gym membership and a gq subscription.

Lift weights and do cardio.

>>18229116
Your post is the one I related to the most but I was taking it with a huge grain of salt because it seems everyone else's posts have been conflicting with that. Even though it was the post that made the most sense to me.

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>>18229135
Yea because pointing out spooks while you act smug is so hard

>>18229147
You can, but it's not the same.

Think store brand vs name brand.

But it also depends on the type of activity. A roadtrip with 3 friends can be fucking amazing.

All I'm saying is, having a special person to share shit with makes it different.

>>18229151
No great artist was ever an altruist.

It's resigning to death and mediocrity before trying.

>>18229155
Most artists are fucked up in the head and lead depressing lives

A life where you work hard to build up those around you is the opposite of mediocrity

>>18229154
Sure. Having a nicer plate changes things.
At the end of the day, it doesn't change the meal though. That's why relationships made of shitty people who love themselves more than anything else are doomed to fail.

>>18229155
So you're saying we should all be artists? Get a load of this leftist bullshit.

>>18229154
I go to the movies alone. I was single for 2 years before my current chick. I have no problem walking away from it despite it being the healthiest relationship I've ever had.

I think the real thing is to not define yourself or your happiness through another. Regular sex and affection is a need that should be filled. But it should not get in the way of your larger goals.

>>18229148
I lift. Personally I don't think I look that bad. It can look myself in the mirror and be satisfied. But lack of success with dating and lack of OKCupid/Tinder matches makes me think maybe I'm not attractive so that's why I don't know.

>>18229157
I work at a rehab center helping addicts. And it is mediocre. I would much rather be a Francis Ford Coppola or a Jay Kay or a Tom Segura.

>>18228941
No. Framing your advice based on your last failed relationship is completely irrelevant. This man can't even get a date, and dating people is how you get a relationship. You're supposed to try and fail in the dating world so that you can find somebody that you're compatible with. If you can't even sift through all the duds, then you are very far behind in the way of finding somebody that you're compatible with. Failure is a big part of dating! You can't get it right the first time. I'm sorry you got burned, but that's the way it supposed to be. The validation that you get is that you can be in a relationship, and that you can attract somebody and have value to them.

>>18229164
Online dating is retarded my dude. Go to a slutty bar and chicks will hit on you if you're hot. I had three of them approach me at the last dance concert I went to.

>>18229166
Well that's your own shitty life and your own shitty realizations. If you think material goods will make you happy, get rich fuckhead.

>>18229162
If you aren't then at least live with authenticity. The white picket fence and stable job is just a complete waste of life imo.

>>18228982
If you think friendship is completely unconditional, then you're sadly mistaken. You're thinking of dogs.

>>18229176
You can be perfectly happy and have nothing. Jobs, activities, etc are just spices in the meal.

>>18227922
It upsets me beyond believe that most women don't see anything wrong with this sort of thing either; which causes men to be worse. It genuinely upsets me beyond belief that our society has become so weak, there seems to be no cure either.
Sometimes I think we may need an actual fascist state to force conservatism on people until new generations grow with those beliefs naturally.

>>18229162
The plate analogy doesn't work because the plate doesn't change the meal. Having a girlfriend changes the enjoyment of an activity because you have someone to share it with.

>That's why relationships made of shitty people who love themselves more than anything else are doomed to fail.

Sorry what? Feels like another conversation.

>>18229163
But not everyone is the same. Some might actually need to have someone to share stuff with in order to get that enjoyment. I'm not saying you should go and just be completely dependent on another person, however having someone will definitely make you happier.

>>18229177
It can be, though.
Not him.

>>18229175
Are you retarded? All three of those guys make a living without ever actually working. Coppola made the Godfather so he would never have to make a commercial film again. Jay Kay is making the sickest dance music and doing what he loves. Tom Segura is doing comedy and only has to write and be an orator.

Authenticity isn't about money you fucking moron. It's about actually doing what you want.

>>18229185
If you can't enjoy art alone then there is something terribly wrong.

But I was an only child and have been very much about individualism ever since I was a kid. Watched an inexcusable amount of westerns and war flicks where the theme was usually me against the world.

>>18229185
But, again, you can share things with friends as well and have a nice meal. Might not be the best meal ever but it sure feels damn good. It's a plate.
You're the meal, anon. What you bring to the table is the meal. The other people are just plates. Shitty drug addicts might love each other but without stable lives they will never be in a healthy relationship.

>>18229187
Why did you pick doing what you do then?

>>18229195
I'm in school for screenwriting. I picked it to mine material from addicts. Characters. Behaviors. Actions.

I've done some of the 12 steps.

>>18227922
The point is not "JUST LOVE YOURSELF ANON" as so many dumb people point it out.

The point is that you need to be happy so that the relationship isn't your only source of happiness. If it is, you will eventually lose it and fall in an even worse spot.

Not to mention that nobody wants to be with someone that is always sad when he isn't enjoying your company.