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>be me, grill mid 20's, slightly on the autist spectrum
>meet guy on tinder, he is well spoken etc etc good match
>i see him infrequently because I'm working on a big project at the moment
>been seeing him for over 2 months now
>he's overly emotional and sensitive sometimes but this is good for an autist like me
>We book a weekend away, and he was acting like a brat for the second part of the day
>He was on his phone constantly, and I saw a girls name. he's been brought up by women, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was a family friend. he knows that I know his password because I saw him do the cross pattern.
>no guy is ever worth me looking through his phone. I have better shit to be paranoid about.
>do you think he's trying to make me insecure? aside from my robot personality I think I'm self-sufficient and a good catch. he's slightly on the normie side.
> do you think he'd get off on me asking him who he was texting?
>by the way, I insisted that he stopped his silent treatment on the car ride back, and he said he was annoyed that we didn't go hiking as planned.
>I was planning on dumping him (a few days to think about it). He made an effort to be extra nice and sweet before dropping me off. I don't want to feel like a dominant robot.
> do yo you recommend any questions before I fully commit? I'm doing my best not to jump ship, but more because of my personality type (i never have a boyfriend)
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pls pls pls I need to stop analysing this and get some outsider advice/perspective
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>>18227143
don't leave me hanging friends
bbbbbump
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>>18227159
I think if you have any doubts at all you should talk about them together.
If you can't talk nothing will work.
Be a grown up.
But honestly you don't sound invested at all.
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>>18227173
I'm taking my time giving him my trust because I feel like his over interest at the beginning was slightly insincere. nonetheless giving him benefit of the doubt.
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>>18227181
Completely uninterested and uninvested.
Just break up.
Say you're not ready to have relationships.
You don't know what you're doing or what you even want.
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>>18227187
yeah but isn't this normal in the initial stages? how did this become about me!!
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>>18227189
lets find flaws with him insttead
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>>18227189
Look at ya boy.
He's invested. He's getting sad when he makes plans and they're cast aside. What you interpret as over-eager is normal.
And all you have to show for it is weird phone jelousy and considering dumping him for stuff you haven't even talked about.
Just stop and go away and evaluate what you think it is you're supposed to be doing.
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>>18227197
shiddd you think so? so calm down and see this through?
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>>18227202
also I planned the weekend away, it was raining so we did indoor things instead. like I still gave him my time and was excited to see him for the weekend. I notice that he acts cold when I'm starting to be interested. I don't think you're quite right about this.
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>>18227202
What do you even want dude? Really?
Is this guy just background noise to you like a pet or are you going to talk and share things?
>>18227205
He had a plan even if you made arrangements. He's not a pet. He thinks and makes plans.
You just keep showing me that you're not thinking about him. Really you're not cut out for relationships.
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>>18227143
>mid 20s
>silent treatment
Is he kid 20s too? Because by now this shit shouldn't really be happening. It's bit immature, and it doesn't sound like the type to flow with that (or maybe you are, fuck if I know you)
Ultimately, you shouldn't be with someone just to not be alone or because you think Hulu should be with SOMEONE
If he's not making you happy, if you're not getting more good experiences that you feel genuinely enrich your life, not worth it. Especially if you're having major doubts two months in.
But if you're having a good time, of you feel like it's more fun overall with hi, than without, talk to him and try to see what's up
Either way, Truth is that most relationships fail, and that's ok.
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>>18227206
That's a bold statement about not being cut out for relationships. i'm an autist, I learn slowly.
I'm normal in the sense that I'm trying to avoid disappointment or being played. I don't think its mature to give people the silent treatment when upset. I was the one who initiated the resolution convo.
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>>18227211
Silent treatment wasn't what that was.
You're torturing the poor man by playing everything next to your chest and he's struggling to make sense of it.
Just let him go and next time try to be open from the outset.
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>>18227221
>playing everything next to your chest
what does that mean ?
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>>18227222
It's an expression referring to card games. You hold your hand of cards to your chest so your opponents can't see it.
You're being secretive.
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>>18227226
to the contrary, I'm really putting an effort. I've been open about my life and I've been honest. Its just I don't know how to handle these hiccups. I feel a rage inside me when someone i'm with is absent or always on their phone
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>>18227228
Ultra benefit of the doubt time. Are you ready?
This guy is invested. He is thinking about this hard. You don't like to talk about feelings because your think you're a robot, so you've left him totally in the dark as to how to proceed.
That whole silent treatment was him thinking. He's speaking to women on his phone to try to make sense of your behavior.
You are actually torturing him.
You have two choices. Talk about it. Not here, with him. Or dump him because you're incompetent.
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