Recently proposed to my girlfriend after two years and she accepted.

>>18225454
lmao

>>18225454
So ima be real with here for a sec, and it's going to be harsh because your about to make a fucking MAJOR life decision here, and I think you should understand the gravity of that.

This is someone you are choosing to do it to spend the rest of your ENTIRE life with.

Instead of sneaking around, freaking out in the background and posting here asking random internet memesters what the fuck you should do, you should be an adult and have an adult moment and talk to HER.

Ask her wants up. Tell her what's on your mind. Don't accuse, don't flip out. Just walk

This is a basic skill you SHOULD have and SHOULD develop if you plan to live any kind of happy life with her.

Communicate with one another and trust in that foundation of communication.


Hopefully this has all been just been a reminder for you ina moment where you're just flipping out--because that's perfectly understandable when you've just made a major,life decision--otherwise, youshould get on setting that foundation down ASAP.

Good luck anon.

>>18225454
I have friends who are friends with their exes.
She's allowed to have private conversations.

If it bugs you ,explain to her why. Have a real conversation. If you are ready to marry her, you should be able to talk about this.

>>18225454
"Look, I wasn't spying, but when you checked Facebook the other day I saw you had a conversation with your ex open. I'm not accusing you of anything, but are you still talking to him regularly?"

If she denies it or says "yes, but just as friends," then politely ask to see the messages - immediately - and hold your ground if she gets upset and accuses you of not trusting her (a red flag).

If she pulls that card, say "Normally I would never ask for something like this. If you been open about the fact that you were talking to your ex, I wouldn't be."

It's POSSIBLE he just sent her a message, and she didn't respond. Possible but unlikely. More likely she's still in contact with him, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's cheating. Talk to her. Be polite but firm and don't give her a chance come up with a lie. Insist on seeing the texts.

File: 4L_6K5dCQou.jpg (38KB, 632x395px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 632x395px

you be honest faggot. when the next time you see her, be it at dinner, or home (if you live together) you tell her EXACTLY what you saw

you explain EXACTLY what you thought, and that you just want to see if it is her ex to clear YOUR mind. she in theory should be considerate enough to want to bring you a peace of mind if shes not a selfish shit and has nothing to hide

if she has nothing to hide, and its "coincidence" and you can breathe easy

if it is her ex

>she will become defensive and say why do you want to see? >"oh no its not him" without even showing you the phone >she will bring up "muh privacy"
>"sure hold on"
if she even hesitates, she has tried to delete the thread, thus confirming your suspicions and making her un trustworthy

do NOT take no for an answer. you arent a bitch, youre a man and if you feel you cant trust her now, imagine what will happen 3 years into your marriage when you start to resent her because you think you cant trust her

be smart and ask. and do not take no for an answer.

>alternate reality scenario

it IS him and shes honest enough to tell you it is him, and they still keep in contact

then i have nothing for you OP

>>18225465
Yeah, guess I gotta bring it up. She's watching TV now and I'm here so I just don't know how to go about it yet. Just... So, by the way, was that a message from your ex or...
>>18225467
I'd like to know if she was. I'd feel pretty weird talking to my ex and keeping it a secret no matter how innocent the conversations were.
>>18225471
Thanks, I'll think about this.

Fucking a...

I'm actually kind of proud /adv/.

No ones jumping to start woman bashing, no trolling, just fucking solid, rationale advice about a real subject.

>golf clap for you all

>>18225480


Go talk to her. She ain't doing nothing. Almost doesn't matter WHAT you say, as long as how you say it is to start a conversation, not an argument.

>>18225454
If it is her ex and she never told you she is still chatting him up you have a big problem and that problem will not end because you put a ring on her finger.

>>18225484
Give me back my moment :/

>>18225482
Lol fuck that Opie's girl is a roastie toastie!
>>18225480
Just ask her if she's still talking to him.

>>18225465
10/10 spectacular advice

>>18225488
We were doing pretty good for a while there. :(

OP here. Is it cool if I hold off talking to her about this until say tomorrow? I'm not thinking clearly right now.

>>18225533
Yes, that sa good idea.

>>18225533
>>18225536
Yeah, you want to approach this with a cool head. Whether she's doing anything wrong or not, the conversation will go much better if you're cool and rational and in control.

>>18225467
As someone who will openly admit that I banged my ex after she had already gotten a new boyfriend, you should be very fucking cautious about a girl being "friends" with her ex.

Another ex, I twitter stalk her so maybe she doesn't know that I know, but she clearly has a new boyfriend and we still text about meeting up, having a few drinks, and spending the night together when I come to visit in a couple months.