How do you help a friend who has depression? CAN you help someone

>>18224763
in sort yes

but this is assuming they want the help at all. surprisingly many people are very comfortable being sitting in there self pity. its when those people chose that they want to not live in there own shit anymore that real change can be made.

>>18224763
the best you can do is be accepting and treat them normal. you can't really make them feel better or "help" them.

>>18224773
I don't know if he wants help, but even if I asked him, how would I know whether it's really him or just the depression talking? He's not sitting there in his self pity though, he more deals with it by just blocking everything out. I don't know if that's better or worse.

>>18224784
That's what I've been doing, but the more he opens up to me, the more I feel bad because I can't help. I can't even empathise properly because I've never experienced it myself.

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>>18224763
You have to just realize that even when you are helping him you might not see the results in a long time.

You can't say anything that will fix him at this instant but by giving him your honest thoughts you help him change his way of thinking in general.

>>18224800
>I can't even empathize properly because I've never experienced it myself.
Doesn't matter. If you're sincere it will help.

>>18224763
how do you know he's depressed and not sad?
depression isnt about being sad when something goes wrong its about being sad despite everything going right. You can be sad about losing a job, breaking up with ur loved one and so on and so on but you eventually get over it.

If he's sad give them some space and time to grieve and they'll naturally come around.
Depression is trickier cuz its usually rooted with a deep insecurity of theirs and you cant always assume people will be willing to talk about such things.

>>18224878
>how do you know he's depressed and not sad?
Because he's been diagnosed, has seen multiple psychiatrists and is on anti-depressants. Can't get more sure than that. I know there's a difference between sadness and genuine depression, I wouldn't have made a thread just about sadness.

>>18224825
Yeah, but HOW do I help? What do I do, what do I say? What do I not do and what do I not say? I know a lot of it stems from his perception that everyone else has everything and he has nothing. He still has a rational side that knows that's wrong and that he's actually in a pretty good place, but the depression takes over.

>>18224763
Don't tell them to just snap out of it or cheer up. Just be there for them and give them support. If you give compliments give genuine compliments. Be aware they may become somewhat dependent on you if you become their support system.

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>>18224890
>Yeah, but HOW do I help? What do I do, what do I say? What do I not do and what do I not say?
You don't have to do anything special. Be sincere. Be yourself. He needs to hear a healthy point of view on things -even when you agree with something depressing.

>a lot of it stems from his perception that everyone else has everything and he has nothing.
Tell him everyone feels like 'the grass is greener on the other side' sometimes and remind him of the all the things he does have if that is what you really feel. Again just be normal around him.

Also I would like to add to my earlier post:
>I can't even empathize properly because I've never experienced it myself.
I actually think it's even better for him to have undepressed people around him.

>>18224927
>I actually think it's even better for him to have undepressed people around him.
As someone who was depressed and spent a lot of time around depressed people, I agree.

>>18224763
tldr dont bother if youre not serious

treating depression takes time to heal and if your intentions arent in the right place you could be wasting your time.
If you want to help him because you pity him or something its better you just stay out because once your emotions run thin so does your patience.
see >>18224927

>>18224966
on a side note
smoke some weed

>>18224800
most people don't want help unfortunately. its hard to say whether the blocking out is or worse than self pity. I'd have to talk to him.

Has he reached out to you for help?