Hi /adv/, In broad terms, when do you think it's appropriate

>>18224516
When anger gives you the balls to do the right thing. IE be firm with your asshole boss, overthrow corrupt regimes, break up with an abusive partner, etc. etc. But the yelling, cursing, and throwing things rarely, if ever, is appropriate.

When you're genuinely treated unfairly.

Anger never leads to anything good but sometimes it can give you that spontaneous courage that you need to just burn that bridge and tell someone to fuck off.

>>18224516
Anger is an emotion like any other. If it were a bad thing, then it wouldn't exist and people would just be happy all the time, but it has a reason for existing that helps us survive.

>>18224524
>When anger gives you the balls to do the right thing.
I like that a lot. Thanks anon

>>18224544
That's also true. Anger isn't really something you can choose to feel, so I guess there isn't really an appropriate/inappropriate time for anger, because it'll just come when it comes.

I hope that's a fair way to look at things, because I've been consistently angry about one, brief, pretty innocuous (for most people) event for over a year now, and it's making me feel like a jerk.It's not that I've acted on those emotions in a way that I regret. It's that I regret having the emotions in a first place. It just seems like if I was a decent guy, I wouldn't feel so strongly about something like this.

I dunno. I just made this thread to vent and get some outsider perspective on the topic at large.

When you are 100% sure you are justified in your reaction, thats when you let all hell break lose and no one can judge you for it.

Don't be angry that something didn't go your way or someone couldn't make it in time. Be angry at this like >>18224536 and >>18224524
said.

>>18224617
How do you know when you're justified? Does it just come down to your intuitions? Do you worry about the intuitions that other people might be having about the situation?

Those weren't meant to be rhetorical questions. I'd actually like to know what other people think. Usually I go the cowardly route and just, as a rule, almost always decide to just not say/do anything about my anger. I never feel justified doing it, because I'm always so afraid of what might follow an outburst. I only ever explode at my parents, probably because I trust that they're not going to abandon me, but it might also be that I've just spent more time with them than anyone else. I don't know.

>>18224684
Some decisions are easier then others, first just ask yourself.

>Is this reasonable?
>Did the person im angry at try to anger me?
>Am I in the right?
>Who is watching me, and how will they react?

You never want anger to be someones first reaction of you, and if you don't understand the situation, just let it go and walk away, if possible.

However, if the scenario is one of the following or something along those lines
>A person has gone back on something they previously said in order to do something against you.
>A person has physically harmed me or someone I care for, and poses a threat.
>A person is being unreasonable, and refuses to listen.
Don't get angry at opinions, as you can't control those, and Always pull your punches.

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>>18224702
>always pull your punches
I usually do, but I worry that I'm too comfortable with defaulting to that option. I never get aggressive with people, even when I feel justified doing so, and it makes me feel like a coward and a fraud. On top of that, I worry that it makes me look like a pushover, which sucks. I don't want women to think I've got no spine, because I do, but I always restrain myself, probably to a fault.

You're probably right though. Long after a fight or w/e, I'm pretty much always glad that I didn't let things escalate further, but I worry that I'm somehow letting myself down by not living in the moment as much as some other people.

I suppose there are other ways to do that though, and maybe that's my problem :/

Thanks for all of the replies though guys. I feel a little better about this whole thing