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Alright look, I am seriously losing my sanity. I have NO friends to talk to, I haven't hung out with anyone in 2 years. I'm a Jew who used to abuse psychedelics and now I just study kabbalah 24/7. I have no friends nor do I want any, I just want my soulmate. Not sure why I'm even posting this, but seriously... I'm so fucking alone. The girl I was with made me so fucking happy, when I got home all I would do is just smile and giggle. Seriously the most amazing person I have ever met. We were talking about getting married and I was going to move up there with her. All we would do is talk about religion and the Creator of the universe. It was great, I finally found someone I could talk to about this reality. We would talk about it being a simulation and we would discuss kabbalistic ideas. Lol. Then her mom talked her out of it i'm pretty sure. Then she just slowly started to edge away from me and the talking got less and less. Then eventually she was like "I can't do this, it doesn't feel right!", all because her mom told her I was crazy. I don't know. Who fucking knows. Please don't call me crazy, I know i'm not. I just feel so fucking alone. My life is basically the movie Pi, the one about the Jews lmao. I just have nobody to relate to, I just want her back. I just want to talk to G-d. I have no idea what to do anymore, I've tried and tried. I don't care about any of this shit in this world, I just want to become enlightened. I don't care about TV, Movies, etc. I just want to know the secrets of life. I can't fucking take this. I want to get drunk and blow my brains out.
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what fucks me up the most is she didn't even break it off lmfao. She fucking blocked me on everything and refuses to answer my calls. Fuck this. Nobody believes me and nobody ever will.
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So what's the question exactly ?
it sounds like you're deliberately behaving in an antisocial way, yet you complain about being alone. Don't you see the contradiction here ?
If you want to meet more people, try to be a bit less intense in everyday situations and more open to "the shit in this world" that other people care about.
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at least you're smart enough to express your thoughts.
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>>18218623
I don't even know what the question is. I just need to vent. This site is probably the worst place to do that lol but I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of everything. I just want a nice girl I can share my life with, I don't want friends. Just a nice girl :( but that got taken away from me. I was so happy I finally found someone who understood me.
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>>18218682
well, soulmates don't spontaneously manifest and if you don't go out and meet like minded people your chance of finding a girl that's into the same stuff as you is pretty fucking nill
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>>18218690
where do I even find a girl like that? I have nowhere to go to. Everyone stopped talking to me because they think i'm a schizophrenic. I don't even want to say what happens to me, I sound fucking nuts lol
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Op, I can empathize because I've been there and because I was so lonely my questions about life got so much deeper. Finding the right person is extremely hard, I for one was really lucky to find that person and I stick to him even in hardest times. But to find someone with that commitment, boy, there's very less of us. I just hope that whatever happens future, that girl will make the effort to stick to you, maybe the one you talked to or a different one. As you know though, soulmates are a special thing, those are people that open your heart in a way no one else could.
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>>18218697
nowhere and everywhere
your options are to get a bit better at social interaction so that you can meet more people and cast a wider net, and go through all the processes of human interactions, with all its failings and triumphs, untill your find someone you feel comfortable enough with that you want to spend the rest of your life with, or wait for someone like that to fall into your lap from the sky
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