How can I stop caring so much about what people think about me?

I know exactly how you feel, maybe it's just a girl thing

>>18216874
You can't and trust me, you probably don't want to get to the point where you don't give a fuck about anyone no more. My tip: Take it slow and try to not stress about others too much. Think about how you'd react if a friend was fired, for example. Would you consider them a failure? Probably not, since they're more then their achievements. And so are you.

>>18216874
Get into individualism

read the fountainhead, watch westerns, listen to 2pac and waylon jennings

Why the fuck would you stop caring? How others perceive you affects how well they treat you and that can affect your happiness and success.

Find out what behavior in others that annoys you.
Go into yourself and see if you're doing it too.

>>18216900
I don't want to stop caring entirely, just care less. Like if I say one stupid thing when Im drunk Ill think about it for the next week. Not great. I want to be able to stand up for myself and really go after things that I want rather than just doing things to be more liked. I don't know

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>>18216874
you should atleast take into account what people say about you, but take it with a grain of salt.

dont let somebody calling you a retard stop you from doing what you want.

>>18216900

This is a lie

>>18216900

Contentment dependent on other is built on foundations that others can destroy.

What does it mean for you not to be congratulated by your boss?

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>>18216908
and you do that by just being yourself around people, think about the first time you heard 'fuck' and how much it affected you, now think about how little it affects you now because youve heard/seen it so much. the more youre insulted, the less youll care

>>18216900
Read some existentialism you fucking husk

>>18216874
What? Why would that even matter? You're a girl, you already won at life.

>>18216874

Anon, it will be an endless battle.

There is no quick remedy, you are going to have to challenge yourself everyday to be true to yourself, and not let other people's opinions sway you.

Here's a few things to think about

Solicitation:
There is nothing wrong with asking for an opinion. That being said, be very wary of when people foist their thoughts on you when you haven't asked. People have a huge messy jumble in their heads, and realize that your situation may have little to do with what someone is telling you. They have their own stuff, and are quick to project it on others.

Public Approval:
This is the cancer of upvotes, likes, etc. One day you will be dying. You will be on your deathbed, and you will have to face the fact that you lived your life to "make other people like you". Here's the deal, you have no control over what other people think or feel. None at all. You can't make the person you crush on crush back, nor can they make you like them back if you don't feel that way. Stop worrying about other people's heads and worry about...

Your inner voice
The only thing you might have a chance of controlling in this life is your own thoughts and feelings. You decide if you want to succumb to fear or challenge it. You decide if you want to be mad or not. When you get hit with painful emotions, you can either bask in it, or decide if you believe it or not. It's ok to feel a certain way, but take a deep breath, and decide if this is how you want to feel. You have control.

You are your own worst enemy
something we all have in common, is this innate desire to hate ourselves. Fight this. You have to fight it from within, and needing strangers to like you is a unsustainable defense. If you get rich, you will attack yourself for not being as rich as the next guy. If you get a good grade, you will remind yourself that there are geniuses who can run rings you academically. It never ends, so you must learn to stop.

First of all you need to get out of your own head. You need to stop seeing the world in terms of how stuff affects you, but through some more objective lenses. Whenever you talk to someone try to put yourself in their shoes, understand their own motivations, desires, insecurities, beliefs and goals. This will help you get over the idea that you're the center of the universe, so you will become less obsessed with others opinions on you.

Then you need to set your own standards and ideals. Decide what kind of person you want to be and what matters to you. Set up goals and priorities. You can't just chose these things randomly though, they have to be based on your qualities. For instance, if you're an ugly midget deciding that physical beauty is the most important thing to you is counterproductive. Find the things you're good at, the things you have an interest in and focus your goals around them. These goals should be specific and depend on your own person as much as possible. So avoid things like "I want to be famous" or "I want my colleagues to like me". Some example of "good" goals would be "I want to write a book on x subject" or "I want to become a master painter" or "I want to discover how life originated". This will take the focus away from social acceptance to other kind of priorities.

And lastly you need to express yourself more. Express your real thoughts and feelings, without thinking about how you will be judge for them. Push yourself to be honest (unless there will be obvious negative repercussions, of course), to be open with other people. Don't act based on how you think they want you to act, but on how you want to act. At first it will be scary and you will feel anxious about it, but in time it will become very pleasant and freeing. And, of course, it will also help you stop obsessing over everyones opinions.

>>18216957
Fuck I was just lurking, but this is a GOAT level post.

>>18216972
>>18216957
/adv/ lives

>>18216874
>grill
Its in your genes to seek approval. Find a nice man and folow his dictates just as god intended. Don't bother with other women, they're abusive cunts. look up lesbian domestic violence rates for proof

>>18216874
Depends on your age but it comes from maturity and being truly happy about your life.

That means having accomplishments skills hobbies and a good social life.

Also realising that youre flawed, everyone is flawed, and that a bunch of people just arent going to like you for no reason and thats how life works.

After that it all just doesnt matter.

Again not sure how old you are but when i was like 26-27 thats when i can objectively say it stopped mattering.

>>18216957
Not OP, but how do I keep people's unwarranted input from warping my own thoughts?

>>18216957
Not OP, but thank you anon. This helps.

>>18217577
Play more COD