I’m in need of some good confirmation here. >My parents

>Grades are going pretty well and everyone starts holding big expectations out for me.
>Father takes me over to his place with this ‘auntie’ and her friends few times but I mostly just sat in the house staring outside since I wasn’t allowed to go out or watch a lot of TV.
>Wasn’t too happy about staying that town.
>Mother picked up this ass-hole, married, electrician as a sex partner who constantly discriminated and judged me and my mother would always laugh about it.
>Fast forward to grade 6 when I’m supposed to do exams so I can attend high-school.
Now this is where things start cork-screwing down-hill FAST.
I wanted to stay with my mother and attend high-school, HOWEVER:

part 3
>Father decides to instead pick out all the schools in regions around where HE lives, which is about 4-5 hours away from my home.
>Mother tries to convince him to pick at least ONE school around her region but he doesn’t listen to me or my mom.
>My grade six teacher ends up being the one to sort out which one of the schools, that my father picked, I’d attend based on my grade. NOT MY MOTHER, MY GRADE SIX TEAHCER. (I had no idea what the hell these schools were, much less that they existed mind you)
>For integrities sake the school that got picked as my first choice will be referred to as Mystic fur-fags high (an all-boys school, btw)
>After exams I ended up passing for Mystic fur-fags.
>I’m not too happy about it but everyone else is so proud that I have to put on a false smile from then on through graduation.
>Naturally, since Mystic fur-fag high is closer to my father, I have to move in with him and the ‘auntie’.
>Wasn’t really a social kid, and I still resented the school environment so I was more interested in doing my work and going back to my father’s place. Met these two pals in my first year that I hung out with a lot though. Anyway…
>Eventually find out that this ‘auntie’ is actually my step-mother and that the other people were her sisters and nieces.
>Never really interacted with step mother much because I had no idea who she was and I was a bit uncomfortable around her and her sisters.
>Around my second or third year I find out that my father cheated on my step-mother and had baby without her knowing.
>He tells me to keep it secret from everyone and then expects me try and ‘help’ him out with taking care of the baby.
>My buds and I move to separate classes and I was beginning to feel a bit dumpy because the people I was left with were noisy, impulsive shits. (My grades were enough to pick me up out of there though)

part 4
>Finally explain to my father and step-mother that I wasn’t comfortable in my current living conditions, but instead of listening to me he shoves most of the blame on me saying that I don’t socialize with his family enough.
>Step-mother finds out about my father’s affair. She doesn’t leave him though because she wanted to take responsibility in my life.
>Family gets even tenser and agitated, started feeling like step-mother was taking most of her anger for my father on me through the manner in which she addressed me.
>Fast-forward through 2 more years of humiliation from both my family and that god-awful school.
>Within those two years I’ve been bullied, stoned and discriminated at Mystic fur-fags.
>At beginning of 4th year I asked my parents if I could be home-schooled but no one wanted to comply because the wanted me to learn the ‘traditional’ way.
>Begin to notice that my two ‘buds’ were beginning to behave presumptuous so I’m not too keen on hanging out with them anymore.
>Eldest sister moves out to an area close to my school for her job.
>I stay her place a few times and my mother visits us very often, but I began to notice some things about them.
>Sister has some narcissistic queen complex where she feels everyone should cater to her needs no matter how she treats them.
>My mother is delusional and uses self-pity to have her way with others.
>Eldest sister tells me not be so bitchy about being bullied because when I go to college it’s only going to get worse.
>Out of the blue, I suddenly develop an intense and completely irrational crush on another class mate. AT AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL!
>Try my best to keep it hidden from everyone.
>The myriad of problems in my life reaches an apex and pitches me into a heavy depression.
>School becomes even more tedious and miserable.
>Studying and schoolwork starts to become increasingly difficult because, to this day, I can’t stop thinking about crush.

I’m at the end of my final year now. At the beginning of it, the whole situation with my grades and my emotions have been so soul crushing that I’ve attempted suicide twice. On the second try I got caught and have gone to therapy. They gave me pills to cope with my emotions but I haven’t really taken them because I knew my mood wasn’t going to change if I was in the same situation. I’m now living with my eldest sister and mother. I dropped therapy because it was cutting into my school time.
I’ve noticed that over the years that my sister was somewhat right; my mother is inconsiderate and horrible to be around, but to be honest though I’m not too fond of her either. As a matter of fact, I absolutely resent her. She’s selfish, likes to dog and extort people and then pretends as though she’s righteous. Variably, the same can be said about my other family members too.
They’ve never listened to me for a single instance in my life and now I’m the one suffering for it! Major exams are imminent and assessments and my grades a, honestly fucking awful. On top of that everyone keeps on talking about how college is even harder and because of that I’m developing some serious paranoia. I keep picturing in my mind how it’ll be too difficult for me pass my exams, get accepted into college, find/keep a job, pay rent etc. and how I’ll end up as some hobo or have to sell my body for money. I’ve also developed these strange fantasies about people repeatedly stabbing, choking, and abusing me.
I’m at my wits end here people, I attempted suicide today again and I can’t stop thinking about how much a major fuck-up I am.
So I’m what I’m asking: Is life in GENERAL shit, or is it MY life that’s just…shit.

today is the first day of the rest of your life. just look forwards and work from that.

Life in general isn't shit, but if you're that keen on suicide then at least do it in a non conventional way like skydiving bc at least that way you'll have the adrenaline giving you one last high instead of your feelings pulling you low