I have to admit this to myself. I NEED others in order to improve

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Lil bump

>>18203191

You are so off base here you are not even asking the right questions. The real question should be "How do I take control of my own self and personal development. Is it not disturbing that you describe the problem as lack of rival or mentor and not the inability to follow through or low self confidence?

Understand that rivals and mentors are tools, and are to be used in such a way that accelerates YOUR development in an area that you so choose. It is a cause and effect. you say you need rivals and mentors do actually accomplish anything YET Actually accomplishing things are the avenue for acquiring both rivals and mentors!!!

You my friend have a problem, and I am 100% certain it is due to the lack of rivals and mentors.

>>18203498
Your advice is all based on the modern individualistic worldview. In the older times people were molded by their mentors. A group of males who challenge you is extremely important.

I never once said that rivals and mentors were not important, in fact I said that they were tools to be used, they are indeed important.

What you fail to understand that to truly be good at something, you must put in hours of independent work. This individual work is supplemented, bolstered from having a rival and having a mentor. This work is not done in spite of them. The point that is most paramount, and the point I am trying to convey to you is that You attain rivals and mentors BY DOING THE SAME THINGS YOU WANT TO HAVE MENTORS AND RIVALS IN! It is at this point where you meet individuals who have similar goals and aspirations, to not only compete with, but to help each other.

>>18203498
First we must ask op when and why he felt the least amount of control in his or her life.

I take personal development pretty seriously and I have actually taken into consideration the poor self esteem aspect of it. I have determined that because of my natural inclination (which is to jump from subject to subject) I have not developed the proper habits to actually follow through with projects. I also have a perfectionist attitude which causes me to convince myself to quit as soon as things start going wrong. The reason I think I need a rival or mentor (generally an atmosphere of comraderie) is because those individuals will push me that extra step to start completing the things I "care" about. Care is in quotes because while I do care my self esteem causes me to not care enough to continue pursuing those things at a reasonable rate.

>>18203498#
I felt that I have the least control of my life since joining the military (it's so obvious haha) its been a major boost to my life and helping with time management and productivity but not finishing a project is just as bad as not starting in the first place. I hope that answers the question