How do I tell the difference between not truly liking someone

>>18203056

>dating a girl for 2 weeks
>she would be absolutely destroyed

thats her own fault for being retarded enough to get that invested in two weeks, what are you just goingto stay with her the rest of your fucking life just so she doens't have to deal with one two week break up?

stop creating imaginary problems for your self, you dont need an excuse other than 'i dont like you that way'.

>how do i know the difference between not truly liking osmeone and being afraid of commitment

hard to say, but just keep in mind that sometimes its not a 'fear' of commitment, its just a dislike of commitment, particularly to people who dont warrant it.

you dont NEED to be in a relationship. you dont NEED to date. its okay to be single. its okay to only date someone if you REALLY like them.

some people enjoy being single. osme people will give that up for the right guy or girl, but it doesn't mean you need to date any woman who wants to date youm even if there are romantic feeligns its okay ot just have fling.

>how do i get over a fear of commitment

generally, therapy.

>>18203084
You're probably right, I just feel really bad for leading her on. I don't even know if I could call it "leading on" since I was just exploring the relationship to figure out feelings and the logistics of dating. She lives an hour away from me, and we can only see each other once a week going forward. Also, and I don't know if this makes me an asshole, but every time we try to have sex, we have to stop almost immediately because it physically hurts her too much. Neither of us can get the other off in other ways, too, so bedroom life is basically dead. It's just really frustrating.

I might just be a bad person.

>>18203116

>i might just be a bad person

again, stop creating imaginary probvlems for your self. agreeing to a date does not make you suddenly responsible for the other persons happiness. everyone around you is serial dating, consatntly hooking up and breaking up over the most inane shit, and you think you're a 'bad person' just because you explored your feelings and didnt find ones that matched up with her?

there was a literal hitler, and a lot of people after that act just liek him, even in the day and age. killers, liars, thieves, people who would do this to the girl just to see how sad it makes her in the end.

but you think you're a bad person just becuase you gave it a try and it didn't work.

my boss likes to say that our generation has a lot of self esteem, but virtually no self worth.

self esteem is know what you are capable of doing, but self worth is knowing you deserve happiness becuase of it.

we are a generation raised to believe that its our job to take care of everyone else, were a generation who predicates every single favor we ask for with ' you dont have to do this and im sorry for asking, but if you do have the time i would appreciate it if you could maybe do this, but its okay if you don't.'

for a simple fucking favor. because we think we are so worthless that to even ask someone for a favor is a great burden.

you're not.

>>18203056
Easily.

>>18203135
Shit dude, thanks. That actually makes me feel better, or at least more at peace with my state of mind.

>>18203158

no problem dude, sorry for the agression, its really just me working out issues with my self, were not that different, i act like its my job to keep everyone else happy and even accepting offered favors i tend to negotiate down on them so they're doing less.

were afraid of people hating us.

but were both deserving of fidning our own happiness

>>18203170
Now there's the question of when and how I take care of this. I won't be able to see her for at least about week and a half. I know I should cut things off in person, but that will mean waiting.

But yeah, it's really weird trying to find my own happiness. I just had sex for the first time in February, so I'm new to this whole game in general. I've overcome the anxiety involved with meeting, talking to, and getting intimate with girls, but not what happens afterwards. Fucking crazy shit dude.

>>18203215

just enjoy the journey. even when something goes wrong you can find a way to enjoy it becuse ultimately in a week or two, your life will be the same, right? so how bad can it really be.

as for her, wait if you want, but its just waiting a week and the nsaying good bye. id drive to see her so you're not making her travel just to break up.

since its a break up though you dont need to wait to the designated time. you know where she lives you can show up and have a quick break up inbetween her dinner and her bath

>>18203226
She's refused to drive to me so far because she's terrified of driving. I'm going to have to make it a designated time, though. She lives at home with her parents to save money while she goes to school, and no way in fuck am I dealing with that at her place if I can just tell her to meet me somewhere or something. I really don't want to risk parents getting involved somehow. But that's specific to this case, so your suggestion would fly most other times, just not with this one I guess.

>>18203244

fair enough. its not like you're planning to get hella laid between now and next weekend so its no big deal.

>>18203258
Yep. I just wish it wasn't going to be so sudden for her. You were totally right about this generation being overly concerned about other people's feelings. I keep forgetting that breakups aren't supposed to be nice and friendly. They usually hurt and they aren't any fun, but I so badly don't want there to be any ill will involved. It's a weird mental block that I'll just have to get over I guess.

>>18203294

there is no ill will. you just explored feelings, and it didn't go anywhere.

if she honestly gets 'destroyed' over this than that is her own issue, its really stupid and shows that she has stupid issues.

>>18203435
Yeah, like I said, it's a dumb mental block for me. I'll go through with it, but I'm not sure I can clearly separate preserving my own happiness and ruining someone else's. Gotta do it though.

>>18203573

well, keep in mind that you aren't ruining someone elses happiness. you are only breaking the illusion of happiness. you already dont like her, staying with her wont make her happy it will just make her think shes happy.

and again, if her entire life or long term happiness hinges on not breaking up with a guy shes been seeing two weeks, then shes not really happy at all, shes just delusional.

>>18203577
That's what I tried to explain to the last girl I broke things off with. She wasn't having any of it, though. She was more pissed at me, which I can handle. It's the sadness that is going to suck the most. Part of the deal, though. I think I'm going to take a break from this whole dating thing after this.

>>18203680

well you're not suppose dto explain that to them, thats their own journey.

>>18203056
Why the fuck are you dating them retardo? If you're just looking for fuk, hit it and quit it, don't keep it around.