>be single >think about how great being in a relationship

You can't. Chris Rock said it best. Married and bored, single and lonely. You'll always want what you can't - and shouldn't - have.

>>18202171
This is why being single is best, you can be as selfish as you want, do what you want and when with no one to tell you otherwise. If your alone and bored, your in bad company.

>>18202171

Find someone not shitty to be with. You probably got together out of desperation, so it wasn't a good relationship.

>>18202291
It wasn't desperation. I really like her.
I just got tired af.

I honestly think it says more about me than her.

>>18202297

Maybe you idealize relationships too much? So when the real one doesn't live up to your imagination, you want to tyr again.

>>18202299
She complains a lot, but says she's happy.
I don't complain. I'm just saturated and tired of this.

How do I stop idealizing then? This isn't the first time this has happened.

>>18202304
>the first time
I mean, the first relationship.

>>18202304

Dude, I go back to my first idea: YOu describe her as someone to take care of and someone thta complains a lot. Where's the good part in this relationship?

>>18202297
Same here man, I got tired/bored of my girlfriend.

She was an actress. We weren't really having fun alone together after dating nearly two years.

I though it was sooo great wanting to be single. Or to talk to another girl who would make me feel like I did when I first met her.


RARELY does someone settle down with their first girlfriend, even if they're best friends.

It's human nature to want to try more people.

It's sad, yeah I still care about the girl I left but would I still have left her? Fuck yeah the relationship was great but it was boring, I was constantly trying to make female friends for platonic/cute girls to talk to because mine only nagged me about cooking or cleaning the apartment.


Fuck I miss her man, I really do. If my dad didn't die I think I would have fixed things with her. But on the other hand she was a starfish in bed, it sucked.

>>18202313
You're right.
Probably gonna end this soon.


I still don't understand why this happens a lot.

>>18202318
You just described someone exactly like my first girlfriend. Except she wasn't an actress.

This is my third girl. Fuck man I really like her and I thought this could work. Maybe I'm destined to be alone? I'm not getting any younger.

>>18202339
Girls are human too, they need to go through a relationship or two to learn that just being cute doesn't fucking cut it in a long term relationship.

They'll 100% want to be in it but they're just people and I doubt they realize by not putting effort into doing stuff together things go to shit real fucking quick.


Tell her upfront, you want to be with her long term but things aren't interesting and you want her to put more effort into trying new things together.

>>18202171

Sorry OP, all I can do is commiserate. I've pretty much stopped pursuing girls these days because every single one is just going to annoy me with some shit.

Maybe we need a therapist or something? I don't know.

>>18202366
I've told her that. Multiple times. She replies and we end up having an argument here that probably doesn't matter and ends up with angry sex and sweet cuddling. But this sort of thing repeats itself a lot.

It's stupid and I'm thinking of ending it soon.

I'm just sad because this is my third long relationship and as promising as some girls sound this "relationship" thing is going nowhere.

At least hopefully I can still adopt a kid or something someday.

>>18202171

you don't. you can apply it to almost anything

>be fat, think about how great it would be to have muscle
>have muscle, think about how great it would be to eat what you want

grass is always greener. its okay to want both.

whats important is to choose which ones the happiest. part of your problem is that you are likely projecting fantasies onto relationships.

imagine if your girlfriend didn't actually like you, but rather was with you because she 'wants someone close to her and to have family some day'.

its a pretty shallow reason to WANT a relationship, as opposed to actually finding someone who impresses you.

>>18202392
Thanks for the advice, man.

>>18202399

no problem man, good luck.

>>18202318
Dude that is my exact situation. Im 4 years deep with my first girlfriend. I have never fucked anyone else.

I fantasize every day about breaking up but I can't get myself to do it. Shit sucks.

>>18202392

I'm not OP, but the thing is, WANTING a relationship, as a guy, is pretty much step one. Guys are expected to pursue, and if you sit around waiting for "something to happen" and be impressed by somebody, you're not going to find it. Maybe if you're in college or something, but otherwise, once you're an adult, it's time to go out into the world and say let's give this a try if you're ever interested in having kids or anything.

I've been single and out of the game for two and a half years now, waiting for someone to "impress me," not wanting a relationship, and I have met exactly ONE girl that I've had any interest in that lives in my city (I met three girls on travel but they don't count). She has a kid and got married last week. And I'm no shut-in.

If I ever want to have kids or a family, something I'm torn on, it's going to be up to me to get out there and pick up on random women or try dating sites and give relationships a try.

>>18202405

>wanting a relationship is pretty much step 1
>if you wait for someone to impress you, you're not going to find it

hard disagree. when i was younger i had this mindset and dated basically anyone who would date me. it was fun, but after 3 months there was a nagging discomfort. i couldn't understand until i was older and gained some perspective, but dating for hte sake of dating is not fulfilling. wanting a relationship is not like wanting a toaster. what makes romance special is the fact that it is special, not just two people essentially having an arranged marriage.

since then I only pursue a girl when I actually fucking like a girl. people can impress you before you go on a date with them anon, not sure where you are pulling oyur logic from.

>i met only one girl in my city who impressed me

so why date the other girls? the problem here is that OP feels dissatisfied in a relationship. and its likely because, as we've discussed, that he doesn't actually care for the women he dates very much, but rather settled for them because they settled for him.

the problem you're having is you assume that waiting for osmeone to impress you means you're not allowed to meet girls. ygo ahead and go out there, pick up on random women... try dating sites... but dont date them if they don't impress you.

>>18202411

I'm not saying that you should date ANYONE, but you need to walk up to a girl at a bar, need to go on a few dates, maybe even test out what it's like being exclusive to each other, before you know if this person is impressive.

The problem is, and I don't know your age, but I don't get opportunities in my day-to-day to meet anyone that can impress me before dating. At work, I know everyone, and there's a few people my age that I don't wanna date or are taken, or they're way older than me. Out with my friends, I already know everyone and have for years.

The last sentence of yours is basically what I'm trying to say, but to go talk to random women, or be on a dating site, you still have to start with step one, "I want a relationship."

"Want" doesn't mean "I desperately need this to validate me or fill a hole," but "I would prefer to be with someone as opposed to being single."

>>18202501
Or you can just have a good time with another human being. Ya know, dating.

>>18202501

theres a difference between beign open to a relationship and seeking one out and getting with the first girl who will date you.

>>18202506

Dating's a lot more than just having a good time with a human being unfortunately. There's feelings involved on both sides and shit. I'm definitely oversensitive to some of it, but I hate taking a girl out, having what she thinks was a spectacular time, and then having to break it to her that I just didn't enjoy myself and don't wanna go out again. Or, alternatively, going out with someone I really like and being shut down sucks too, although that hasn't happened to me in a while, mainly because I haven't really liked anyone.

>>18202520
Yeah, but OP never came off as desperate, just said he wanted a relationship, which is a perfectly comfortable, rational concept that a lot of people would agree with.