Can we have a break-up thread? Please offer some advice or comfort.

>>18198850
Alright. This is going to be hard to hear, but it's true.

>My world collapsed
No it didn't. You're still breathing, there's still opportunity for future satisfaction.

>I'm trembling and I'm ugly crying constantly.
That's okay. Breakups hurt, and you're allowed to show it when you're hurt.

>It's so unfair
That's life, not much you can do about it.

Look, if you were my friend, here's what I'd do: I'd head over to your apartment, give you a hug, listen to you moan and whine and bitch for an hour or two, then I'd take you out to get some good food and be with some friends, because that's the solution: you just gotta live. You gotta remember that life is good sometimes, and it's gonna be good again in the future. Look, you just had a bad breakup, you've probably been treating yourself like shit for a few days, and you're stuck in a bad way inside your head, so here's what you do: take a shower, put on some nice clothes, then hit up some friends to go get lunch. Good food and good friends makes everything a little better.

>>18198850
6 months out of a three year relationship

it sucks, we tried really hard to make it work, but I just couldn't recover from all of the damage her consistent lying did.

But now I'm working on myself, lost a lot of weight, and am exploring new career opportunities I wouldn't have been able to if I was still with her.


Really just being selfish and spoiling myself, instead of spoiling her like I used to.

It gets better as it goes man, you gotta put your happiness above anything else, and make sure you see some friends or family at least once a week.

>>18198850
I'm just breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years (been after her since 2011) though

I'm hurting like a mf and can't do my work properly

>friends

y....yeah i'll text my 'friends', which I have a lot of...

>>18198915
Are you OP?

>>18198870
What do you do when you feel alone and miss her?

Ever felt like nobody else in the world would love you except for her?

>>18198915
nope

>implying you ever really get over it.
Two years and I still want to kill myself
:DDDDD

>>18198923
No, but surprisingly same situation.

>>18198933
It depends a lot on your environment. When I was at home, with lots of family and friend support, near familiar things with lots of friendly faces, I could get over a hard breakup in a week. When I was studying abroad, where I hardly knew anyone and couldn't connect with strangers, it took me six months.

>>18198924
>what do you do when you feel alone and miss her
it's hard sometimes, but you gotta change the course of thought.

I remember one time, I started calling myself out on every horrible habit I have, from not brushing my teeth that morning, to staring at my phone doing nothing productive, to having a hand on my penis in an idle manner, to slouching back lazily instead of sitting upright.. And, as I went down that checklist, I fixed everything right there as I called it out. I brushed my teeth, I cleaned up a bit, changed out of my pajamas, put my phone down, and I didn't do anything else except play video games, but I did it in a much more respectable, and presentable way, and you've gotta keep that image up for yourself.

I still constantly feel like nobody but her could love me, and it sucks. But, I try not to worry about it, I really try and live happily in isolation. My dad is an example I look to, he was divorced when I was 4, and has lived a pretty happy life all to himself.

He's only had one serious relationship since, and it didn't last two years, but they had already moved in together, and he sold his house for her..

So, love can fuck you up pretty bad, but it's all about your happiness in the end, not anyone elses.

>>18198862
>give you a hug
Anon, men aren't allowed to hug other men anymore.

>>18198923
no

>>18198915
Alright I'll pour my heart out since it's better than doing it to her

I've been in love with her for years, maybe 5 or 6, she friendzoned me hard but I managed to make it out by the end of 2014

We've been together since then and it was pure bliss. However she lied to me a few times about chatting with her ex partners, after that my trust was broken but I decided to keep on trying to make it work; out of my love for her and her teary-eyed promises. I did warn her that it would take a lot of time to build the trust back and it would bring us trouble, but she said it she was willing to face anything for me

Things went fairly well after that, She met my family and I met hers, I'm close both to her mom and dad. I was planning on proposing to her this year, truly believed her to be the love of my life

We graduated and I got a great job at an IB. Two months ago she got one in a gold mine 8 hours away from our city (she would work there for 10 days and then come back here for 4). I thought it was a great gig and encouraged her to go after it. However, once she was there, the worst of my insecurities and memories from our past troubles came back to haunt me. I would text and call her like crazy and get pissy when she didn't reply

We've finally gone burst this week and she told me she's sick of me being so controlling and that she expected me to trust her more. That somehow turned into 'let's start all over again when i'm back' to 'i don't love you anymore' a few minutes ago

I know it's pointless to put any more effort and it's best for us to go our own ways now that her love is dead. It still hurts like a demon because I've given everything I have to offer

There's not a single aspect of myself which I haven't exposed to her and I feel rejected/worthless. I can't do my job properly or anything that used to excite me (like lifting and reading), don't feel like eating and I'm having a hard time forcing myself not to cry in front of my coworkers

5 years.

I wanted to share my life with her.. She couldnt deal with my depression after me getting hit by a car a year ago. Studied abroad and she fucked another guy right before i visited. 2 and a half weeks in cuba alone. It was actually easier then. I still want her back, but i know that in order for anything to happen including getting back together. I have to move on. I am afraid. I see so many people here still suffering for a long time and i worry. I have no idea how to do this. I dont want to regret and waste time being sad over this. I want to move on. Everything feels so temporary.

A few days ago I looked forward to so many things. Not even things we were going to do together.

Now I don't understand why I even want to do any of it.

There's nothing to look forward to anymore.

>>18199030
Same, it all feels p freaking pointless and looks so uninteresting. Food tastes horrible

>>18198850
Sorry tout hear this..

It's gonna be ok !

>>18199015
No contact, go completely cold turkey on her and anything that reminds you of her.

The brain is only so good at remembering shit without you regularly stimulating the memories, and that's really all that's going on in the process of a really tough break up: your mind is remembering and missing something it used to have.

Don't provide it the fuel (i.e. looking at her pictures, texting/talking with her, etc.) and you'll exponentially expedite the "getting over her" process.

>>18199035
I haven't eaten anything in two days now, I think. I wish I wanted to, losing all my gains, but I just don't have any appetite at all

>>18198850
We are all ultimately alone, anything else is just an illusion we create to comfort ourselves.

Losing all hope is freedom. You are now free.

I'm afraid I'll never get over it and just spiral into madness and league of legends

>>18199053
I have to get rid of alot then. Like half my life i built around her. I dont want to..... I cant tell which is worse. I dont want to forget about her. I want her back. I havent been able to delete her because i have not accepted that she is gone yet.

>>18199144
That's step one. You've got to accept the fact you aren't getting her back. That's dead and gone, and you longing after what you used to have isn't bringing it back.

>>18198962
That sucks, I can't imagine the heartbreak your dad went through. Maybe it'll be alright after all.

I'm scared of the post-breakup logistics, my family will bombard me with questions that I don't want to reply. Wish these months would just pass by in an instant

>>18199157
It sucks. Just say it didn't work out, and it's for the best. They'll understand.

My mom is still on talking terms with my ex, which I've voiced on numerous occasions I was not okay with, so now at least she doesn't bring her up anymore, or try to convince me to take the cheating whore back.

>>18199153
What is fucked is that she says she is not sure how she is going to feel when she comes back. She made it so hard to believe she's gone forever.

>>18199186
That's just her setting you up as a backup plan once her sex tour abroad is over and she feels lonely.

Don't fall for it anon, that girl has no love and even less respect for you.

How do you guys feel about the 'let's keep our friendship' part?

Worth it? Does she want to torture you or just some back-up dick?

>>18199213
depends on the actions taken after

I told my ex I didn't hate her, and that I wasn't going to block her on facebook, and it's just that.

We haven't exchanged messages, we haven't said a single word, other than a few professional level text messages regarding her collecting her things from my house.

>>18199200
:( fuck. I lost my best freind in an instant. She is really gone.

>>18199213
Depends. It didn't work out really well with my ex since we'd always come back together. Eventually we stopped talking, she deactivated her fb, I deactivated mine after she came back, and everything is going great.

At least that's what everyone thinks.
Actually, I still dream about her sporadically, but I found a way of wanting her, I moved my obsession to a girl that somewhat reminds me of her. Its temporary but eh, better than nothing right?

>>18199186
Was the whole "I don't love you anymore" thing not a clear enough message?

She doesn't know how she's going to feel when she comes back? Does that matter? Why would you want to be with a fickle bitch that apparently falls in and out of love with you depending on proximity?

Besides, she's leaving again after 4 day and obviously your relationship isn't strong enough to handle the current situation. So unless she's quitting her job to fix shit with you, nothing is going to change when she gets back.

>>18199255
>She is really gone
this thread in a nutshell,
i'm off to cry in a bathroom

4 months out of a 10 year relationship.

It has been extremely painful for me. She still small talks to me but would feign ignorance when I asked about us talking. I still hurt. Constantly, but it's a mark that I am alive. Although I really rather not be.

I have been looking at what went wrong and how I can learn from this. How I can try to move forward. I wonder why she even talks to me still, but I have started to ignore her as I'm starting to think she is doing it out of spite or using me as emotional toilet paper, which I am not cool with.

I did the most I could to keep communicating with her, but she tended to hold things in to the point that she start tossing problems that were years old. Things that she had held in and allowed to fester instead of talking to me about.

In the end she walked off saying that she wanted someone more mature. The way she's been acting has kinda painted her in a different light. Her reaction to a major life event for us made me realize that she was still a child. More than I was. I came to realize that she had been using me as a target for her guilt over what we choose to do together.

She still hurls angry words at me from time to time. I pretty much have stopped apologizing as I have come to terms with my mistakes, so I see no point in continuing to prostrate myself for her. She wouldn't give me the time of day now it feels, so why must I? She blames me for not understanding her, at the same time I can see she hardly took the time to understand me. I tried to share of my life with her, to build on as a team, but it was clear that she didn't want to a part of it. In the end she said she did what we agreed on as to not impact my life, when it was clear it was about her's.

I miss her, but I doubt she has grown up. Getting g back with her would only spell disaster if she hasn't seen she also fucked up. Not just me.
But responsibility is hard. Isn't it?

>>18199333
fucking hell mate.

my heart goes out to you, I have been struggling with my first break up (2 years) and it has been really painfull for me.

but man look at you, 10 years and you are still keeping your head high at the end of it.

its good that you are looking at it from a perspective of what you can learn from your experience. at the end of the day that is all you can do, to move forward with a postive outlook.

good luck to all of us.

Can't believe I was the one to break up with her.

I've made the worst decision in my life.

This will forever shape me for the worst. I just threw it all away.

What have I done

>>18199455
I caused a long term relationship to end, but it was for the best.
You likely weren't happy. And now it's over. It's going to hurt, a lot.

What can do? Learn. See what you did right and what you did wrong. What you can grow on. Learn to be happy with yourself. Also time.

Learn from your mistakes. That's all you do.

Texted ex that some annoying sound reminded me of her snoring. I thought it was funny, though, she probably didn't

>>18199455
Also to add to this there is something I have been calling the 3 paths.

Path 1: Humility. Be humbled from this event. Learn from your mistakes and from this experience. Get what you need to grow. You.

Path 2: Time. Give it time. Time is needed to grow. To change. It's going to be hard road, but if you make of most of it you can come out on top. Come out a better person than you were going in.

Path 3: Arrogance/Pride. I used to hate that cliché of "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Love fucking hurts when it's gone. But don't look at this as "love is wonderful and I'm glad I had it". Nope. Look at like this, "some one saw something in me. Someone else cared for a moment. I can do it again if I wanted to."

Use all three and find the man you can be happy with, even if alone. Grow into someone stronger and more in touch with himself. Women are replaceable, I learned this the hard way but, fuck it, I have a lot to offer and fuck that bitch for not seeing that.

>>18199582
>fuck that bitch
man I used to enjoy the shit out of our sex sessions, gonna cry again

>>18199596
Nah. Not fuck as in sex.
Simply as in if she saw something of value in you and then didn't. Forget about her.

Look, I miss having sex with my ex. Holding her afterward and seeing the look on her face after she orgasmed.

I miss her and the moments we shared. I know I messed up by breaking up with her, but if it was enough for her to not even talk to me. Fuck it, I'll find someone how knows how to communicate or at least willing to learn.

For now I will use this time to better myself for me. No one else. Not my ex, and not even the next girl. Me.

>>18199455
>m a girl btw

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This helped.

The sooner the better.

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>3 years together
>1 year since the break-up
>She brought up the option of an open relationship
>I said "You mean Germany:The Realtionship? fuck no!"
>She gets offended and breaks up with me
>3 months later get an anonymous message telling me she cheated on me
>I was going to marry her
>Dead inside now

I only dated this girl for two months and she broke up with me a couple of days ago. Only two months but it still hurts, I thought we had something good going on.

She called me crying, saying that she thinks I'm great and she has lots of fun with me but she feels like she isn't really feeling it. She said she'd rather break up with me now so she don't hurt me in the future. It fuckings sucks, because when someone is crying while breaking up with you it gives you hope to fix the situation but it's probably for the better that I don't.

Rhonda help me get her off my mind

>>18201240
It still hurts.

I've known that pain, too. It's very sharp and it cuts deep.

The sting goes away quickly, however. Keep on.

>>18198850
Day two.

I'm so tired. I barely slept, if at all.

I've reached out to so many people yesterday, here, chats, people, family, and even a previous ex-girlfriend.
I can't open up and cry into the shoulders of any of them. I'm so alone.

I try to look at the bright sides, but none seem to matter anymore without her.

How I wish none of this ever happened to me.

>>18200902
Weirdly same feel bro went for the open relationship tho....So at least you kept yourself. Now I hate me and her. You did the right thing. I was old enough to.knkw better too.

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Would it help to cope with it all if I went ahead and visited a prostitute? One who's into GFE, anyway.

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Guess I'll share my story.

>get job in other province
>start dating girl
>camwhore
>high partner count
>former sugar baby
>self identifies as SJW
>doesn't take care of herself
>move back home and do LDR while I finish school
>all of the bad qualities start to eat away at my confidence in her as a long term partner
>she tries to pressure me to take a shitty job to go back out there and be with her
>I break it off a month before graduating

Feels meh, to be honest. I feel like I dodged quite a few bullets at the end of the day.

> Meet a couple of girls who are friends
> date them both in a "let's just have fun" way
> slowly fall head over heels for one of them
> date her for two years
> she never gets over the fact that she had to share me at the beginning
> slowly drifts away and then breaks up
> I thought she was my soulmate, never felt about anyone the way I felt about her
> she's marrying someone else now
> every day, feel like I found my soulmate and fucked it all up by being greedy

c'est la vie

I want my ex back really bad. How do I do that? Together 3 years.

>>18201928
No, two days later you won't really remember it and you'll be down $200+ dollars.

Make sure you're exercising 30+ mins a day for mental health. Go to something to meet some strangers and chat to them

>>18202360
If you were soul mates it wouldn't have mattered to her.

>>18202377

Yeah, I've thought about that before too

In which case, what I worry about then is that I will never actually find my soulmate. I'm 30 now, and she's still the only girl I ever imagined a life with together