For a while now, I've wanted to break up with my boyfriend.

First of all the old are u

just break up you can make new friends

>>18195596
26

>>18195599
We have history, it's not the same

>>18195562
You forget to ask a question.

Stop wasting your and his time and break up. Once he will see you with another dude, his hearth will hurt and you two wont ever be friends again.

And now post reason to why woman hangs with a man for so long only to ditch him in the end so we can prevent such fates for ourselves.

>>18195606
Sorry I'm on my phone, how old is he, what type of education, what does he do, what is his goal/dream in life

>>18195562
>I don't see him as the father of my children or a solid future.
I was just broken up with because of this, it was quite dehumanising. Can I please ask the reasons?

There's a difference in waste time with a useless loser and being with someone who isn't motivated enough

>>18195609
>And now post reason to why woman hangs with a man for so long only to ditch him in the end so we can prevent such fates for ourselves.

Well I wanted to eventually get married but he doesn't believe in marriage.

>>18195611
He is 27, he went to university briefly and now he works in finance. His dream is to become a published writer, he is working towards that goal.

>>18195619
>but he doesn't believe in marriage
Then there's your ultimatum. Don't drag him along any longer, tell him that you'll stay with him if he marries you, but otherwise you want to find someone who will.

>>18195619
If he doesn't want to get married, just ask him why, personally I don't think it matters too much, but being married u are more future proof as in more secure

Ask him if he doesn't want to get married, will he able to in some way make sure u guys are both covered in case of contingencies (what if he cheats, what if involved in an accident stuff like that

>>18195619
Are you telling me that your ONLY reason to throw 6 years or relationship into bin just because marriage??? What?

Does he even know how you feel about marriage? Cant you manipulate / talk him into it? Prenup? Have it as a symbol?

I think you arent telling whole truth. What about babies?

>>18195562
I understand you're reluctant to let go because you've invested lots of time on him, but if your goals (marriage, father of your children) didn't align with him no amount of convincing would make it work.
It'll often end up with problems sooner or later, and it will affect your offspring, which in turn will make the cycle continues.

Just stop wasting both of your time, and go confront him on it. If he's not willing to walk together, sorry but you two are not meant to be more than that. Relationship took a lot than just sex and producing offspring.

>>18195613
I'm sorry this happened to you but my reasons are:

>He doesn't believe in marriage.
>He doesn't believe in a solid family unit (kids etc)
>Our sex life is terrible..... from start to finish.... He also has a porn habit (yes a serious one) that won't stop and no amount of talking about it or suggesting therapy is helping. (we have been together for 6 years and his porn habit started when he was 16, way before we got together)
>He doesn't make an effort in his appearance for me, where as I always do for him. He sometimes smells like mild pee.
>If he is not working, he is sleeping or laying down watching TV (no he is not depressed)
>He is a hard core atheist and I am agnostic, which is fine if he wasn't so vocal about his atheist idols, who I find very annoying. He is a Trump supporter, which is w/e to me but does slightly annoy me because he tries to talk to me about him and I have nothing positive to say, which results in us being distant with each other.
>His apartment is not hygienic and I have caught bacterial viruses from there before.
>We tried to live together but I couldn't stay and have been afraid to try again since then (5 years ago)

>>18195622
>>18195630
>>18195634
>>18195637

Sorry I was typing this out >>18195651

They are my main reasons.

His good qualities are longer than this list, which makes it harder. But these are things that have really rocked our relationship.

I would never give him an ultimatum to marry me. Marriage should never be about that in my opinion, it should be mutual.

>>18195651
Shitty sex alone is a dealbreaker

>>18195651
Nice. I only wonder why did it take you 6 years to realize that. Looks to me he takes you for granted and that is why he doesnt bother to please you.

I hope you find better partner.

>>18195659
Even if his good quality longer than those reasons, you have to remember that the qualities needed to have a good mutual relationship can be vastly different to good qualities that make a person a decent human being. just saying.

And also those reasons you listed really doesn't strike as someone who're willing to work on a good mutual relationship
You're better letting it go if he's not willing and take your relationship for granted.

>>18195651
Lol what? Most of those reasons are deal breakers by themselves. Are you some sort of hambeast? I can't imagine any other reason why anyone else would stay with someone like this for so long.

>>18195693
Because people don't generally bounce at little hurdles that life throws at them? Well, I don't anyway. Things changed over time, life became different..
I didn't want to break up over sex because I felt like it was stupid. My sex drive is very high at this time in my life and it changed my feelings about it.

>>18195699
>Lol what? Most of those reasons are deal breakers by themselves

I know they usually are and no I am not a ham-beast, I look after myself.

break up and tell him what you told us

>>18195651
So, he clearly has no social life, social skills, empathy or active behaviours.
These are all defects he has to work on or simply die. No in-between. And he's not going to listen to you if you break up with him.

Suggestions: talk him about this. All of this. Be frank and clear. And make it clear that he is not functioning well as a human being.

Smelling like pee, sleeping and not working out are signs hat he will never do it in any field he can try. No one will hire a guy who has clearly this social problems, doesn't care about hygiene and let loved ones get illnesses. Tell him this. Tell him that he will never be published with this attitude. This is not only a problem in your relationship, it is also in his life, and it will become so big it will eventually kill him.

So, talk to him. If you really care so much about him, explain yourself, please.

>>18195724
This makes me so frustrated because I have talked to him about it. We've had numerous fights about it even. Our relationship (for years) was all about HIS self improvement and he has made progress but as soon as I get busy with my life /career/studies he lets it all slip and we go back to square 1.
I'm too busy to be holding his hand through day to day life and it's very frustrating to see him living the way he does.
He thinks the smallest things are great achievements, like taking out the trash or making a sandwich.

He is constantly just sitting down. When I point it out, he gets super defensive and tells me I have no idea what he's done all day, when clearly it's notably fuck all.

>>18195737
It's clearly not working. Stop wasting your time and life.

You might think about all those years you spend on him, but it's nothing compared to your well-being in the coming later years.

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>>18195651
>Bacterial Viruses

>>18195737
He clearly has an addiction to something he's hiding; he's getting defensive and lying to ailment his remorse and feel bad - the true red light for any addiction. Pay in mind that it can also be an addiction to slacking off or you; it doesn't matter if it's not a deadly substance or gambling, the main point is, he's trying to feel bad for the sake of rising his self pity (oh, poor me! Nothing goes right for me because of X and you don't want to help me!) and not working on his own problems like he should. Tell him to go to therapy; don't actually tell him he's addicted or her will just start victimising himself - or worse. Just tell him he's becoming miserable and petty and you can't love a being who treat himself as such.