How to deal with a breakup? I just broke up with my gf an hour

>>18191083
Sounds like she wants to work on herself [alone] and hopes that one day you two can talk again. For now she needs space to focus, cactus-chan.

Sounds like she found another guy but wants to keep you around incase it dosent work out. My advice would be to move on and ignore her, if she is so "stressed out" by you, then you are doing her a favor.

>>18191094
Maybe so. And maybe I need to work on myself too since I've always relied on her to be happy.

>>18191097
Hope not. I was the only person shes talked to besides her mom and brother. And she hasnt left to go to college in a month. But youre right maybe about the stressing her out part.

>>18191083
What exactly brought this on?

>>18191103
She said she wanted to be alone for a while and I got over worried and bothered a lot and didnt listen to her.

>>18191083
Give it a week. Then try talking to her.

>>18191106
Yeah that is not good. Girls dont like guys that come off as needy

>>18191111
Quads of truth

>>18191111
>>18191114
Yah but I figured since me and her were so close I could show a bit of my weaker side to her

>>18191116
NEVER SHOW YOUR WEAK SIDE TO A GIRL
NOT ONE THAT YOU HAVE DATED FOR A MONTH OR ONE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO FOR 10 YEARS

>>18191116
Thats where she tricked you anon.
Best advice cheer up. She probably wants you to find happiness on your own before you can find happiness together.

>>18191094
>>18191097
Optimistic-chan and Pessimistic-chan

So what should I do? Should I wait? How long? People said for a week. My birthdays on the 25th should I just wait until then and see if she says anything to me? Or should I just forget her.

>>18191193
Move on and try to distract yourself with some other girls. By the time she contacts you, if she even does, you will have found someone more worth your time

>>18191121
Holy god, this. If you learn nothing in life but one thing, learn this.

>>18191106
You said you broke up with her but
It sounds like she ended thkngs

>>18191295
(psst, he's sad af, let him have this 'win' for the day pls.)

she maybe clinicly depressed but maybe your the pathetic one in this relationship and shes just trying let you gently. learn and move on

>>18191083
Go full no contact. Don't text her, don't message her on social media, don't call her. As a matter of fact, just remove/block her on all social media altogether and block her phone number. Resist the urge to check up on her and take this time to grieve the end of the relationship and focus on loving yourself for a bit. Go through the stages and let yourself experience the pain. It will take time but you will heal, you will get over this and you will come out stronger. Let yourself be open to the possibility of loving again even if right now it feels like you don't want anyone else. Think about what your values and goals are and work toward them even if you don't feel like it or it's half-hearted. Resist the urge to ruminate on the relationship and what you could have done better as all that does is slow the healing process down.

Just move on at this point. I know you love her, and you can still love her but that doesn't mean you have to be with her, or that you have to keep putting your heart on the line. You said that she's clinically depressed. As cold as it sounds, that's a massive red flag and a signal that this kind of thing will probably happen again and again until she deals with it. I'm assuming you're young and that you have no kids together. If so, that's good. It means you can make a "clean break" from this and though it hurts one day you'll look back and be thankful she ended things.

>>18191295
>>18191346
I didnt mean I broke up with her as in I did the breaking up with her I just meant I broke up with her as in a breakup happened.

>>18191083
Everyones being negative, its probably for the best but I'll be a little more positive.
If she truly didnt want you in her life she wouldnt still be in love with you and she wouldnt hope to see you again. She probably thinks that both of you have problems and now isnt the right time for this relationship since you guys are in college theres still plenty of time. Maybe you guys will see each other again. Just don't text her. If she texts you then good, maybe you can work things out. Take all these messages with a grain of salt cactus-chan even the shitty ones that just sound mean.

Some girls just like to end relationships on a positive note even though it's bullshit. She may still have feelings towards you and wants to express that even though there's no hope of being together anymore. It's a different kind of "love", not a romantic one but a "I still respect you as a person and care about your wellbeing" love. It's ex-love. Just take it for what it is and move on. Don't make the mistake of getting your hopes up.

>>18191767
>Some girls just like to end relationships on a positive note even though it's bullshit
This.
A girl that broke up with me even though nothing was wrong and we had no fights.
I asked her why and she said something along the lines of "I'm breaking up wih you before you break up with me"

>>18191094
>>18191760
>Cactus
You're probably triggering him by calling him her pet name for him kek

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>>18191114

Check. Plus there is a lot packed in there. I found it interesting that you say she broke up with you because there was something wrong with her. Also you seem to be in some type of beta orbit. Let her go. Improve yourself and in a few months reapproach.

>>18191888
Well she also said she thinks theres something wrong with me. She thinks I have a lot of unsolved issues and always wanted me to go see a psychologist to see. But I never did.

>>18191888
>Improve yourself and in a few months reapproach
This. She obviously doesnt mean she doesnt want you in her life.

>>18191083
>my little cactus
Haha

>>18191083
You know man i used to know a girl that used to call her bf cactus and she was to clincally depresse, maybe its the same girl who knows

>>18191121
>>18191251
Is this true?

>>18191098
>maybe I need to work on myself too since I've always relied on her to be happy.
ding ding ding ding ding
you might hear it a lot but you genuinely need to learn to love yourself before you can love others

>>18192594
to an extent
it sounds like in your case, your girl is aware that you're becoming co-dependent and she doesn't want that (nor should you)
men are emotional beings too though and you shouldn't have to bottle it up for the sake of being "alpha"

>>18191083
I would say find conclusion. This whole "maybe not the end" thing is going to wreck you.
Either it is the end or it is not. The two of you need to be clear on that.
If it is the end, then find a way to release the stress and pain and time will heal it.
If it is not the end, it is normal to take breaks in relationships.
Just tell her to be clear. And, more importantly, be clear with yourself.