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Well anons, shit really hit the fan today.
I've been dating this girl for almost 2 years, and it crashed in flames today. We thought it'd be forever for the longest time, but it was too damn good to be a reality. Recently I've been thinking about killing myself, things in life have been horrid, this is just the icing on the cake. Part of me wants to stick around, and try to pursue being a musician as it's always been the thing that's made me happy, but the other half of me is done, i sold everything away for her and of course it fucking all went down the drain. i dont have any family that cares really, my relationship with my father is sour cause he was abusive to me as a child, mom and sis love me but i think they'd be better off. most of my friends are online, so i doubt anyone would notice me being gone really. the only thing thats keeping me here is my love of the sound of sweet music, the desire i have to create music, and my fear of death. my girlfriend was on that list but she's gone, and as much as i want to moap and say i love her, cause i do, i just want to wipe her from my mind. so anons, i have nothing but music again, and im not even good at it.
So anons, should i stick around and try to pursue a career thats almost literally impossible for me to succeed, if so, how do i find that motivation, cause with all of this shit its gone. If things are too fucked, how do i overcome my fear of death, and what are some good methods of going out that won't hurt too much and leave too much of a mess.
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I usually just spend my time alone. I've developed a caring for all living beings and i slowly started to feel happier with the freedom to be myself for once without having to deal with others expectations.
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>>18190506
You can find enjoyment from slow progression on improving your craft
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I don't want to sound like I'm saying you should let yourself crash and burn to find the motivation, but sometimes in our darkest places when we have nothing else, we turn to those passions we thought we had no motive for. Play your heart out, find distractions and push through.
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>>18190485
Text 741 741
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maybe this is the situation you need for your music career. I've thought of similar situations when it comes to my art man, it's fight or flight. Push through, you got nothing to lose.
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thanks guys, bump
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I need to find a way to get over the fact that we always told each other "it will last forever, it will last" and "even if it doesnt we will be friends" right now shes not even talking to me, the only thing she said is "promise me you wont kill yourself, because i know you" what do i do, if she comes back should i still stay friends with her? i love her a lot and itd hurt me, but im sure u can swallow my pride.
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use this to create my man. there's always more doors to walk through, everything gets better.
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>>18190956
what happened between you two
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Your mom and sister wouldn't be better off without you.
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>>18190485
you won't fear death if you just kill yourself. that's for you to decide.
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>>18190485
Write sad love songs and become a rich superstar. You can thank me later.
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