Does "need space" always mean seeing another person?

>>18188380
That is essentially what she means
It means she wants you to be ondemand backup but look for other options first if she can get a better guy.

>>18188383
doe the specifics not matter?

>>18188392
nah

I told my girlfriend I needed space after she cheated on me, and she made like a magnet instead and wouldn't let go of me, so I had to break up with her, instead of taking time out to access the situation and break up with her

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>>18188406
Two days of her not talking to me, i went to a bar and hung out with a guy we both used to work with. There was a girl there who also used to work with all of us, and she talked to us for a while. I guess she talked to the guy at work, and found out i was talking to that girl, and she angrily texted me, after almost no contact, the next day about how she couldn't believe i was hanging out with that girl and that she was done, etc. I called her and got her to understand that i wasn't interested or even talking to that girl. this is what she texted me the other day.

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>>18188414

not necessarily. but the fact you refuse to acknowledge the relationship probably got her to consider calling things off completely (which is highly understandable). she probably still has hope so she doesn't want to break it off completely just yet, but yeah, she's trying to gain emotional distance to not get hurt too badly and judge from a distance if this is all worth it.

>>18188417
I told her that i'm an idiot and sometimes things need to hit me in the face before i realize. I was just being stubborn becuase i didn't want to feel like it was her asking me to, i wanted to do it on my own time, and also i just felt like we were already together and exclusive anyway, so why did i have to say "do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Cut your losses, she's playing games.

>>18188424
i was the one playing games, i told her i felt like a joke texting her 3-4 times in a row trying to get her to answer me, and she responded that she's felt like a joke for the past 10 months. to me it feels like she's just hurt and really needs time to think, but as a guy it's hard to accept that doesn't just mean "in fucking someone else"

>>18188414
sounds immature as fuck, bro.

don't try to settle down until you're 30, just roll with the punches.

t. 25 year old who just got out of 3 year relationship 6 months ago

>>18188432

i just got out of a two year relationship, 26 here. this girl is 21, so yeah she has a different perspective but i love her. i was just stupid.

Just give her space and start to find a functional female on the meantime

It's not that difficult

>>18188380
>Does "need space" always mean seeing another person?
it means she needs vitamin D.

>>18188422
because it would have meant a lot to her?
no respectable woman will date a guy who keeps stalling commitment unnecessarily because it makes her look like a whore that does "fuckbuddies". she has a reputation to lose. and maybe she would have just loved to be able to call you her bf...

>>18188474
i realize that now. i asked her if she wanted this to be over, she said she doesn't want it to be over, i said if she just lets me know it's too late, i'll leave her alone, she said she doesn't want me to leave, i asked why she was upset if she doesn't want em to talk to her, she said she never wanted me to stop talking to her, and every single time i've ever asked if she just wanted to see other guys, she gets really upset and offended and says she doesn't want anyone but me.

>>18188474
but she did say she felt dumb becuase she "always want guys who don't want me". and always asking me "what's wrong with me?" god this would have been so easily handled if i had just asked her.

>>18188482
my god. this is getting worse with every word you write.

i once dated a guy who pulled very similar shit to what you're doing right now. don't you fucking get that you are basically telling her to fuck off and that you think she's a whore if you tell her to go fuck other guys?

>>18188488
because you not wanting to commit implies that you donmt actually want to be in a relationship with her. in other words, she's not gf material in your eyes, yet you keep her around for convenient sex. which is very disrespectful if this isnmt a fuckbuddy setup. you're leading her on and using her for physical satisfaction. you're operating on very low levels here, anon...

>>18188517
you sound like really understand things from her perspective. what should i do? i already was too pushy to get her to talk to me again. after i acknowledged the last message (sunday), i blocked her of all social media just so i wouldn't be tempted to contact her again. atm i'm beginning to think that might have sent the wrong message. what do you think i should do next, if i really want to be with her?

>>18188523
>blocked her
>might have sent the wrong message

oh boy... this is really getting worse with every post.

why do you even want to contact her again? you clearly donmt value her and donmt want her as your gf. can't you just let her be and not stab the wounds again?

she is probably trying her best to cut herself off of you right now.
and that's the best thing she could do as long as she has a tiny spark of dignity left.

it might be that you could get her back if you asked her to make things official. but chances are you already lost her because oh boy did you fuck up again and again,

>>18188517
I agree OP

>>18188457
This, to be honest
you might be able to convince yourself and anons here that she likes you so so much,
but in reality, she probably doesn't.
See you in the next thread OP.

>>18188529

what? obviously i value her becuase i'm so upset about it and trying to fix it.

>>18188380
>Does "need space" always mean seeing another person?

No. It doesn't always mean there's someone else. But it does mean you're being dumped in the nicest way she can think of.

>>18188545
and why didn't you value her enough to make it official before she called this off?

>>18188545
Blocking someone sends the message that you don't want to contact them ever again, that shows that you don't value her enough to say goodbye. She said that she will contact you when she is ready to, but now she can't even do that.

>>18188543

if that's the case...why would she be with me for that long, even when i wouldn't give her what she wanted (hint, she wasn't wanting for D)

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>>18188380
*Block your path*
it means she's aImost giving up the other dude for you but she don't want it so she ask for space because she don't want to feeI powerIess in the matter of the situation. PeopIes aIways tend to ask for the better of theirseIves without any guarantee it wouId work out, they just hope for this.
and that's it annons, try to not obey peopIes demands like giving space because it's bullshit.

>>18188555
because i'm an idiot. and i considered us together already, i didn't understand why i needed to ask her so blatantly.

>>18188557
when i was in that situation, the problem was that i was already rather invested in "the two of us" to just call it a day. i knew his family, he knew mine. we had spent a lot of time together and i felt like we had a good thing going if you would have deleted the "doesn't want to commit" shit. i though he might just need some time (he got cheated on by his ex so i understood that he might be hesitant to make things official). but at some point i had to grab the dignity i had left and cut him out. it was painfull then but in hindsight it was the best decision because this whole thing really dragged me down and made me feel like a worthless piece of shit.

>>18188567
But i realize it now, and i'm willing to do be together "official" and idc who knows it.

>>18188557
Yeah I'm sure the answer to that question would change something, keep thinking about it.

>>18188561
some people don't. but some do. she bluntly told you to which sort of people she belongs and you decided to ignore it.

my current bf and i never officially decided to "be together" either. but i never had a doubt that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and is proud to be with me and show it (meaning he would openly act couply when we met mutual friends and so on). it was never a question if he'd consider us being in a relationship or not. and he would have rather bit off his tongue than suggest i go fuck other guys...

>>18188570
yeah, THAT guy realized it after i called it a day too. but what he realized is that he was affraid to be alone. this was never about us or me. it has always been about him and only him.

>>18188575
i'm not suggesting she do that. i don't want her to do that at all. i asked her if that's the problem, and if it was, to tell me so i can move on.

>>18188576
well this is about her and i. i have no issue being with someone, i could go out tomorrow and get someone. that's not the point. i want her.

>>18188577
sorry, i misread that, then. anyways, you asking her that still implies that you think she is capable of fucking other guys on the side iow is a whore. which is pretty much the biggest insult for a girl trying to be a decent one.

>>18188582
then why haven't you realized this the multiple times she asked you?

>>18188599
because I was stubborn, and didn't want to do it just cause she was asking me to, and in retrospect that's the stupidest reason and I don't understand why I have to be so stupid. I wasn't seeing anybody else, so why didn't I just do it?

>>18188380
it doesn't always mean they already have another person but does mean they are looking for your replacement.

>>18188629
ok here a better question. if she was just upset and needed time to figure things out, and not looking for another guy, what's the alternative she would have chosen instead of "needing time"?

>>18188606
see, if you really wanted her that would have never been a reason in your mind. you mever loved her and right now you only panic because you fear you won't find a girl like her again.

it's too late. do damage controle, learn from your mistake and don't repeat it.

>>18188634
talking it out with you. but from what i gathered from this thread, she tried that to no avail.

>>18188641
but why would she do it like this? She knows I'm not a thin skinned person, she could easily just say "I don't want to see you anymore". And then she wouldn't have to deal with me constantly texting her and calling her and asking why not. That's what's so confusing.

>>18188634
If there was an alternative intent she would have expressed it. However you slice this she wants to pursue your replacement without you around.

>>18188655
>She would have expressed it

she did? I asked her if she wanted to stop seeing me, she said no. I asked her if she wanted to see other people, she said no. I asked her what the reason was, and she said she just needed space and time to think. How was that not expressing intent?

>>18188646
people are generally cowards. we don't like to break bad news to someone. we rather try to let them down easy. not for them, but because we don't want to feel like monsters.

>>18188666
why haven't you also asked: "do you want to be my gf?"

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>>18188429

You're being played. If this behavoir had started just after talking to that girl it would be one thing but she blew you off for two days before and then tried to play the guilt card?
This is how sensitive men end up in beta provider relationships with women that manufacture arguements as an excuse to fuck other guys.
Try ignoring her instead. Make her actually come to you while she's playing this attention game.
She's expecting you to grovel right now so don't give her that.
Having a conversation with another woman in a casual setting should not be grounds for persecution. I'm certain you're not the only man she talks to

>>18188683
i've said "i want you to be my girlfriend" but i haven't asked, and i feel like i can't now becuase it will push her over the edge.

>>18188693
listen. this cat is dead. just let it be and move on. chances are she already is moving on.

>>18188685
this was a girl i had sex with before, for a while...while i had a gf. And this girl i'm talking about broke up with her previous boyfriend...becuase he cheated on her. so there's that aspect. she asked me how she knew it wouldn't happen to her. i feel like that's a big part of this, but i didn't want to say it, i might have messed up and deserve this pain, but i thought it would bias the answers too much.

>>18188666
I see why she needs to get away from you. You are fucking exhausting.

>>18188695
i can't, not until i get a straight answer.

>>18188700
yeah, she said it was exhausting. idk, my breian is weird. and i'm only like this becuase it's making me so upset.

After this week of NC, i'm probably just gonna go nuclear, and send her something saying "it's been a week now, are you ready to talk or make a decision? Will you be my girlfriend? I can't wait another week, sorry"

>>18188698

This is information you should've shared in the earlier posts. Yeah dude, this ones on you.
While there's no crime in just talking to a girl i can see why it would bother her if its someone you used to sleep with. You're both being immature by not communicating so maybe neither of you are actually ready for a relationship.
If you're afraid to call her your gf and she can't pull up her big girl panties and talk to you to resolve these issues then both of you are in the wrong. Don't text her, go to her in person and ask for her to hear you out. If she says no then it's done.
If she gives you the opportunity,
Humble yourself as you did here and admit you're an idiot, that you want to be her bf and ask her to give you a second chance.
Make sure she knows she's wanted

>>18188727
okay, that's what i planned on doing sunday before she sent me that. should i do this entire week nc, then if no response then do that saturday or sunday?

>>18188749

No go there today, the longer this sits it will fester. Out ot sight, out of mind.

>>18188760
she's at work, and i can't just show up to work and bother her with this. and the only other places i could go are her house or to the bar that everyone that works with us goes to. I went to her house last week, she wasn't home, i dropped off flowers and her favorite drink with her roommate. then she acted like it was bad, "you came to my house...you don't do that". and it makes me feel like she's connecting me with her ex, who stalked her for a while after they broke up, and she would always tell me how much it bothered her.

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Derailing thread because I think my girlfriend is going to "want space"

>be 27
>girlfriend same age
>living together for just over a year
>both have our own business and work a lot. So I think there is a lot of stress always.
>Past week or so girlfriends been less affectionate..
>moreso than usual
>last night she made a comment about me wanting to have sex every night
this morning we went back and forth and then she told me
>youre on another level of clingy
>god damn
>are you an extreme clinger??
>convo ends now
>goodbye

not sure if i should respond to this childlike behavior or just ignore it

>>18188416
I'll keep it short and sweet...


Don't give her this kind of power. Tell her to fuck off and that if you need a booty call, you'll call her.

10 months and still not official, all the while telling you she needs a "break", and then she gets angry that you saw another girl at the bar? A lot of Red Flags man, it'd be best if you got out while you can. Don't get sucked into this crazy woman's pit of a life.

>>18188698
>this was a girl i had sex with before, for a while...while i had a gf
>dude keep adding new details with every post to deny he's being rejected.

lmao
ok she's head over heels for you. Good luck.

>>18188809
my bad, i'm just adding in relevant information, that's i initially kept out becuase it would cause too much of a bias

>>18188845
It's ok, it's just difficult to take anything you posted here seriously after you keep adding new details every time some anon propose the idea that she might have other choices sexually and romantically, that's all. Hope you will get the solution you need.

>>18188380
It means you're annoying.

>>18188429
You sound more mature than the commentators in this thread. Be wary of the 'advice' given.