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I'm trying to cut off contact with two of my former close friends in the nicest way possible and trying to avoid drama but they just don't seem to be getting the message. One of them is manipulative to a dangerous level and has legitimately managed to cuck my other friend who seems to be all too willing to sell his soul for her. I tried to warn him multiple times before everything went to shit but he ignored my advice about her and dove headfirst into the trenches and now i don't know if he will ever get out unless she literally tells him to leave and never talk to her again and maybe not even then. She casts people to the curb after she has leeched money and gifts out of them and i believe she is an actual narcissistic sociopath (no armchair psych meme its the real deal) and if i try another time im sure she will get him to come after me perhaps even posing a danger to my safety. If i thought i could help him i would but that ship has sailed. They only ever spend time with each other unless she is out fooling around with other guys and she tries offers me sexual favors often though i always turn her down because even though he is blind and a terrible friend, i refuse to actively fuck over my "friend" that is "dating" her. I havent seen them in person for months and i try to keep contact to a minimum but they still contact me regularly despite my intentional ignoring of their calls and other messages. I only occasioanlly respond to tell them im busy so they stop callling or texting me. It has gotten to the point that i no longer want to have any contact with them and i had hoped that slowburning the relationship would get them to take the hint but the farther i pull back the harder they push to keep in touch with me. Do i just tell them to fuck off and block them everywhere or is there a nicer yet equally as effective way to cut them out of my life?
TLDR: Toxic friends need to go but slowburning doesnt get them to leave how do i get them to stay out of my life?
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>this wordy bullshit
just tell them this:
>I appreciate what you've done for me, but please understand I'm not comfortable with our friendship anymore. These things happen. Bye.
you dont owe anyone an explanation op
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This is absolutely hysterical. What the fuck is this absolute MANIA millennial men have about cutting people out of their lives entirely because they can't deal with anyone doing something they don't like? You're having an absolute hissy fit because... why? Some woman did something that wasn't like what an anime waifu in your dreams would do/be. So you feel the (honestly antisocial and autistic) need to DESTROY her, ghost her, ghost these "friends" you have who are loyal to her/not loyal to you... honestly. What the fuck is wrong with you kids? It's so... strange, really. This is the world. You can't deal with people who don't absolutely conform to whatever fantasy you have in your head about "friends" and "girlfriends" and then you have to -- bizarrely and dysfunctionally -- CUT them. Ghost them. It's sad and strange.
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>>18185046
ima have have to agree with this guy
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>>18185046
?? if it doesn't make him happy to be around these people why is he obligated to retain any sort of relationship with them? he doesn't need to put up with shit for the rest of his life just because you see it as weak or whatever, who cares?
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>>18184434
I would tell them exactly what you are thinking regarding your concerns, and depending on what they say (or not since you don't owe them anything) you can say you'd like to continue or not continue being their friend. do what feels right for yourself
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you forgot the part OP says the girl is dangerously manipulative.
>>18185046
nobody owes you anything, kys. sage
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Tell them your concerns at least. Especially your friend, not the girl.
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>>18185046
I agree as well. Attempting to totally obliterate former friends or lovers from your life doesn't "avoid drama" - it creates and/or exacerbates it. The best way, really honest and truly, is to either hash it out over drinks, or if that's not ideal, just be casually friendly. If they press you as to why you're being casual, be honest with them.
I really believe this is the best advice I can give you.
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>>18186347
This desire to utterly obliterate people from their lives might actually be a somewhat natural reaction to the fact that this has become so much more difficult to do now (social media, cell phones, etc) as opposed to the 90's.
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>>18184434
Just carry on doing what you're doing. Patience. They'll get fed up. I mean how many times will they call you in a year? Just forget them.
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