I'm addicted to heroin. It has been four days, since I last

>>18180048
>heroin
>1.5 years
>4 days withdrawal
http://www.narconon.org/drug-information/heroin-addiction.html
well, it says that around ~7 days of going cold turkey you will be fine. So that is one thing.

But since you are here with this cool question
>supposted to do?
I can try to give you some simple directions.

1) do try to not consume any more drugs. It is like alcoholics. Once you break the addiction, you can never try it again or you will fall back. Life can be very boring / hard / colorless. You have to deal with shit via any means just not by drugs again.

2) secure your ability to survive.
So you have to eat (some druggies ignore this fact), have some shelter to not be homeless and some activity to distract you from being nervous / bored so you dont go do drugs again.

I suggest you to recontact your family or some non drug friends. Dont expect them to believe you or pity you, but it is worth a try.

And finally, get a job. I know going to work sucks, but you sort of have to to survive.

Whatever you do, remember you made yourseld to fall into this mess and only you can help yourself as well.

And that part about killing yourself. Life is too short to end it prematurely. Dont give up. Contact your family now, say you are sorry and ask if they are willing to help you.

You've already made it through the hardest part Anon. It's going to be very difficult but you made the right choice to stop. Hard drugs like heroin will only lead you to certain death. I was addicted to Xanax and Crystal meth for a while and I wasn't able to stop until I nearly killed myself when I fell asleep behind the wheel and flew off the highway into a ditch. When I got out of the hospital I decided to never use again and have made it six months so far without using.
Heroin is very difficult because it has some of the worst withdrawals. Have you tried seeing a doctor for Suboxone or methadone treatment?

>>18180048
I've heard weed really helps with opioid addiction. You could try it, I mean it's better than heroin.

>>18180048
Yo man, hope your still here. I think I can relate, I'm relapsing on MD, two weekends in a row. Im still coming down, been awake for just under 24 hours, so I may not be the best person for advice anyway. But theres a mate of mine, whos experience that helped me get away from drugs entirley for two six month streaks now. I know I may be getting this across badley, given my current state, but I just want to give you something to help you through the bas days when you quit. Been trying to post for several hours now from PC, banned clear but keep getting conection error, so if you see this and I havn't returned drop us an email at [email protected]. I know that Ive relapsed for the last time, Ive tieded up a lot of the loose ends that withdrawing to drugs causes.

But if I get the PC working Ill try and help mate, Im in a similar place right now, and despite the couple of relapses this last year Ive managed to get a level of control back over my life. Sorry if this post is ilegible, but I think I can offer some help, please drop us an emai so I dont worry about the thread going.

>>18181229
One last try from PC, pretty much completly crashed at this point, just purgred my system. If anyones actaully managed to quit, without relapsing every half a year when their depression kicks back in, please leave your stories here. Think it could help OP, myself and anyone else feeling desperate to break out of the cycle.

OP, can I ask where you live? Always like having more information for my conspiracy theories and cities getting hit with heroin again makes me wonder why.

>>18180048
It's taken five hours, two different VPNs which I could usually would have taken five mins to set up but ended up taking several hours due to my comedown, which I'm now mostly through. Since I last posted, as I said in the last post, I've purged my system of the last of the MD, making myself throw up, thrown away the rest of my paraphernalia, and feel set to quit this time.

I still want to give you the story, OP, really think it could help you out through diffcult come downs, my mate went through opiate addiction and came out kicking. It was his drive and mentality that got him through it, but I witnessed him every step of the way. I still didn't have the strength to sort myself out until today, I know it's most likley whatever's left in my system talking but I think I finally understand my problems, and as per the usual bullshit advice pshycs offer that's always the first step.

Now I got the chance, even though I lost everything I had wrote already, which is probably a good thawing given how gone I have been over last day, but again purged my system and feeling read to quit. If this makes no sense and the threads still alive when I wake up, I'll come back and explain myself, but feel the experiences I've had could benefit you a lot when you quit.

I may have failed to quit the biggest problem drug in my life, which for me is just weed, but I failed so many times because I didn't deal with real issues, I always just deal with symptoms.

But in case I pass out, I'll just say please do reach out man, having someone to talk to who's going through a similar (even if much easier) experience could be what makes this quit final. I'll give my drug use past next post, then pass on my mates story, and I hope you can mimic his attempt and get free.
Apologies for the state I'm writing this in, as I say I'll try to make myself clear but still crashing from lack of sleep more than anything now.So, cont with my story, hope this finds you well and ready to quit mate.

>>18181455
This is for anyone who's quit or is trying to, hope what I've learnt through my failures can help someone, might make this last relapse worth it.

I'll start with the real issues that pushed me towards drugs in first place. I'm not trying to make excuses, but understanding how you came to need the drugs to survive is key to eliminating the problem. Talking this shit through with people, even anons on here, helps you cement the problem in your mind. You must be ready to admit what you've become to yourself and those around you to move on, which is my usual first point of failiur. I'll explain shortly, but first my real problem has always been cyclical depression and the anxietites it brings with it. My childhood was pretty shit by most people standards (don't know how much you've been through, OP, doesn't matter, same principals still apply), I'll just list the worst in as close to chronological order as I can:
>Molested as a kid (me and a neighbour kid who uncle was a pedo used to play doctors and nurses together, obvs didn't understand at the time and it was the drugs that brought the memory out of repression, got to thank them for that I guess)

Cont bellow, guess background info make take a couple of posts, but I'm looking for advice as well, hopefully will help keep thread alive till OP returns.

>>18181485
cont

>Moved away from hometown in England to Spain, probably as a direct result.
>Little autist me dosn't make friends with the little village kids, ends up getting bullied, verbally a lot but physically not significantly. Still cemented my low sense of self worth. (/g/ here, is anyone wants my full story was chatting shit for hours on a thread on there last night, Ill include to archive link if I can: https://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/g/thread/S59694180#p59697623
>Moved back from Spain to England with my Dad when he and my mother splits up, I understand that it wasn't my fault now but blamed myself at the time, the depression I was too young to understand let alone explain people who could help me.
>Once back in England, started getting confidence back and coming back out of shell, anxities/fear of social interaction had set in to begin with but I could just ignore it then.
>Things went well for a few years, till six years ago on the 31st of March, when my Dad passed. Crushed me at the time, still affects me a lot know and think it's often what I repress from that experience that sends me back into depression.
>Watch my family start to fall apart without my Dad there to keep us together (three sisters, one of whom I live with and is perfectly normal happy person, works as a teacher and has given me shelter since I found my Dad after his heart attack, one sister who had a fairly long issue with drugs, like myself mostly weed but with occasional stimulants I'm guessing for the social anxiety relief, and a final sister who still going through drug problem as far as I can tell, no one in the family except for a grandparent has spoken to her in the last few years, and my mother, who I'll get onto soon)
>Infinite tangeants I know, but I knew when I was young my family were clearly liable to addiction, and I avoided drinking out of fear of it controlling me. I think that's one of the reasons I loved weed so much, gave me the social confidence (cont)

>>18181497
>(cont, if anyones reading this let me know if I'm just chating shit, want to give a decent background and I can come back sober to do this) the confiedence to open up to people, to get to that level of really trusting someone.
>Back on point, (going to try and wrap up quickly, do want advice but that can wait till when I get up, want to say few more things more relevant to your problems before I go completely) tried and failed to keep my family from falling apart, and that destroyed my confidence and opinion of myself.
>Summer 2015 I was smoke cigarettes despite always hating them before hand, the act of going for a fag is kind of a way to feel closer to my Dad, even though I know it could have been what caused his early death. But back to the point, first chemical addiction I was using to escape my problems, although due to trust issues I still kind of blame the peer pressure at the time. I made friends with a group of stoners, just before I left school during the mourning I had fallen out with my old mates over some stupid shit, and thought a fresh start would do me good. The stoners all smoked, I started to feel at home around the smell and taste again, and since then been on twenty odd a day. Fucking expensive UK as well, takes up more of my paycheck than drugs ever have done outside of celebrations, but at the same time it's an addiction you don't really miss when it's gone from my failed quiting attempts. Sidetracked again I know, but it's the temptation to escape whatever your problems are for that little bit while high that will keep bringing you back if you don't address the underlying problems.
Cont bellow, I'll try and make next one last one, but want to explain my process I'm going through for what I truley believe will be my last quiting attempt, think it may help you as much as my mates story will, and gives me a chance to vent on a comedown and remember what was going through my head when I feel like smoking piff tomorrow.

>>18181511
>Still summer 15, one of my mates introduced me to weed for first time. Felt great to feel everything slip away for a couple of hours, and just laid there on the grass staring at the sky loving life. First time I had felt so relaxed about everything since my Dad died. Also became the first time I didn't completly trust a memory, I felt I was pressured into trying it but I'm aware I was up for it at the time. I want to point out the excuses I made to try and help OP see his own if you feel up to talking through your own story with someone, if there's no one IRL you feel you could give please give us a shout, would be helping someone else in person could also help me out a lot. If you do still have people left you feel you can completly trust in your life, speak to them, they'll be there for you despite what you think of yourself right now, your family will always care about you.

Cont bellow, last background now before I give you the bit that I think could help anyone struggling through withdrawal, I know I keep going on about it but worth the wait. (please skip ahead if you want, me offloading shit is probably more about me helping me than anyone else, but hopefully y'all understand the process I'm going through to be honest with OP, facing the real problems is, as generic as it sounds, the way to deal with your addiction. I'm coming down hard again, lack of sleep catching up, but just want to get a process that has worked fairly well up until last couple of weekends, and give y'all the story of the guy who had a serious opiate problem.

>>18181522
>After the summer of 2015, I was a popular guy for first time in my life, felt like the weed had solved all my problems in three months. Again, I get now it was just a confidence I should have found in myself to talk to people, but it's easier said than done.
>Took mkat first time that summer, dirty drug but got me on another level, was at this point chasing the high weed used to give me. Quick note on that, obvs info again but important, every time you take a drug after the first time your just trying to reach the same state again. But even if the drug you take get stronger, this first time will always be the cleanest high, before your brain adapted to cycle of highs and lows however your's did it. Remeber when you want to pick up, I'm just chasing the first time, it'll not be enough on it's own when your in a dark place but it's always a good place to start the reasoning process.
>Throughout college experiment with cocaine, MDMA, mkat and on one occasion speed. None ever really got me hooked, but I do now feel that I need them to open up to people and speak honestly, which is one of the reasons for this relapse. More on that after, but the real problem there isn't with the drugs, it was the fact that I took them willingly and blames the people around me for convincing me or bringing me down to the point I would take anything to get away. Really it was the addiction to weed fermenting the paranoia, which went from smoking a little to often to a couple of gram a day when ...
> I tried to ask a girl out for first time in my life, and got rejected. This was still the best summer of my life in my memories, introducing me to drugs had helped me connect with people on a much deeper level than before, and the girl was one of my best mates at the time. I couldn't help my feelings for her, but to begin with she was happily engaged so completely of the table. (cont, will wrap up this soon, I need to crash)

>>18181540
Cont from above, am trying to wrap up quickly now, will mention in this bit of text when I get to the happy ending story for anyone who feels they need it.

>Cont from last point, I had no experience dealing with women since primary school, so an attractive girl who paid me a fair bit of attention, as I say we had been close friends until I fucked it, was enough to make me fall for her. In my mind she's still the perfect girl, the one who got away, but despite her being great with me, ignoring me obvious feelings for her, she always talked to me with legitament trust, something I hadn't really experienced outside of family. It was when I started getting these hormonally imbalanced overwhelming feeling I fell back into depression, and started using drugs to deal with problems rather than solving them. For first time in my life, I actually had to confront my own problems, and that when I started using drugs to give me a spine. (15 year old on drugs, I never got passed my issues with women but I can at least speak to one now without falling for her within two conversations, I'm not one of the anti SJW parade I just can't be 100 percent comfortable around women).
>She rejected me fairly, and we tried to move past it, but I couldn't listen to her relationship problems without the feeling of rejection kicking in. So eventaully, I stopped speaking to her, and ran away from my problems. I still need to apologise to her at some point, next step in process to anyone still reading, but it was a few years ago now and I still don't feel strong enough to go back and make the ammends that I get I need to too completly move on, but I've been apologising to a lot of people over this relapse for that reason. Drugs are a symptom not the root problem, and if you need to take something to get it out of you, I say go for it. May sound counter intuitive, but trust me, once you've brought memories to light while high, if you make them stick around till after they (cont bellow)

>>18181568
Feel I'm just hijacking the thread now looking back, sorry OP but I hope hearing a bit about my process could help with yours. I've said it plenty, but feel that knowing my fucked up life over last few years helped anyone along would be great. But back on point, last of my history posts now, then I'll finally get on to the bit that I came to say in first place.

>So after the girl (femanon for easier reference) rejected us, I stopped having cylical depression with a few months up and a couple of weeks down, I became depressed pratically all the time, felt like I had fucked my life up beyond repair, thanks in part to the drugs but also due to my self loathing and disgust with what I was doing to myself. I get this is a rediculous reaction to being rejected by one girl, but she was the straw that broke the camels back, and once I tried to face up to one of my problems everything else I had repressed over the years spread out before me like an xfactor sob story.I spiralled, getting worse and worse, until just over a year ago, to cut out most of the details.
>Before I get on to my current self, I'll just mention once again how much you need to have someone you trust to get past a long term addication, it just gives you that fixed frame of reference on how it's going, and someone to complain to when your down.
>So a year ago today I got a good job, software dev apprenteship, and I tried to use my newly reaquired confidence in myself to break away from everyone I knew, and try and move on with my life as whole. I thought, fresh leaf to turn, I can deal with the lonliness and once I'm recovered should be simple enough to find new friends, who won't carry the same memories and temptations. I think I've said this before (again, sorry for the state I wrote this in, but I'm feeling the chance to change again and hope I can help a couple of people with me), but I quit weed for three two month periods over the last year, and each time I came back it was (cont)

>>18181603
(cont, final before I move on, know I keep saying but it's difficult to make sense at all I'm so gone at this point, would have usually gone to sleep after throwing up but that when the VPN that's letting me post came back online, but for the "I'm clearly to fucked for this" time, ignore my bollocks and move onto the story OP, helped me get through a lot of shit.

>Tried to get myself back in to my old self, but still couldn't bring myself to admit to my family what I had become. I know that they've known from the begning, but I've always been unable to admit the problems, even left home to stay at a mates for a week to avoid admitting my mistake. As I mentioned before, my sister has always looked out for me since my Dad passed, and was the reason I got to stay in England, which I still feel will always be home. So admiting to her what I've done will be final step of the process for me, I've already spent the last two weekends on MD explaining myself to a number of the people who I've fucked over, and it was all too tie off loose ends, get back in contact with a couple of old mates who are willing to listen to me try and get across than I've still not got back to where I was, I'm still not capable of facing up to myself, but I needed to get closure about the way I had left things.

tldr: Shitty childhood, got addicted to weed, messed around with harder drugs but never had a addiction to them. Feel that despite relapsing two weekends in a row I'm finally ready to really move on with my life, so if you take anything from this mess, let it be face up to your problems and make amends where you still can, people may still judge you but you'll feel so much better about yourself.

Feels so much better to have let all that shit off my chest and made my amends with everyone I could speak to OP, so that's my piece in nutshell. I'll move onto the actual story I came to give y'all, one of my mates from secondary school, we'll call him Anon for privacy's sake.

>>18181620
>>18181620

So just before I finally make my point, if anyone has read through everything I've been ofloading and feels they could offer advice on my process, let me know. I've never had professional phsyc help and I've mentioned previous I couldn't trust someone in that job, for the reasons listed in my first post, so any refinements to the process I've developed through a trial and a lot of error would be appreciated. Once I've said my last piece, I'll have a fag then go to sleep on an MD comedown for the last time, but I'll leave the thread open on auto-update and check back when I'm alive again. Hope someone read this, more specifically hope OP did and got something that could help him out of the shit I've gone through tonight, but as I've said more than enough already, would be nice to hear from any anon who has been through something similar and come out the other side, or someone who's also trying to quit and wants someone to confide their own problems in, we can speak on here of contact me at the email address I left above, I could do with some outside opinions on what I've detailed above.

If anyone has made it through this far, thanks for listening to my shit, and I'll say again out of hope I can get through to someone who's willing to help or needs help/someone to talk to about this kind of stuff. I've mentioned the crippling social anxiety, I'll only go to self service checkouts in the supermarket to avoid talking to people, and it's great to vent. So thanks for any anons who gave enough of a shit about someone they'll never meet to read through all this, I get it must be difficult to follow, but I will stop venting at last and get on to the potentitally really helpful story.

I will just add OP, re-read your post for first time in a couple of hours and don't think I've said it explicitly before, I've been through the lonely, unable to see a future where you can be happy, and there's been times family were the only reason I didn't end it all

>>18181637
Anyone waiting for me to post the real reason I came to this thread, to give OP the the story of my mate who is the only person to have ever got over a serious drug problem, start reading again now. So seven hours after I found this thread, I finally get to the point, I've chatted enough shit about myself now and I'll get on to the story of my mate and his addiction through to recovery, we'll call him Anon.

>Anon, when I met him was a pretty normal teenage nerd who smoked weed when he could get some, he had family problems, which I won't go into or I'll hit bump limit before I finish, but needless to day this guy had just as much reason to go completely off the rails as I did in terms of environment in which he grew up.
>We were good mates for a long time, he was the one who I went to apologise too in person during this relapse, he did what anyone usually has to do to get me to be honest in person. Little technique that they used to use to get me (and a couple of others who were occasional members of the friend group, who were also a bit mental) to trust them enough the speak honestly. The trick is simple now it's been explained to me, when I'm fucked all they had to do get me to trust them was make me believe they had been through a similar experience.For instance when he thought I was suicidal again, he started going on about how his own depression was coming back and making him feel like topping himself at times, and if I had been I would have at that point trusted him enough to speak openly about it.
>One last side note on my own problems if anyone's keeping track, this is one of the main reasons I don't feel I could trust them again, I get that the manipulative behaviour was for my benefit as far as I can tell, but am I paranoid for not trusting people who do that shit?
>Back on point again, sorry for not being as helpfull as I could be sober OP if you get to see this, but Anon carried on happily into college, and was happy enough with life.

>>18181662
Cont, soon done now, the sweating has kicked in which is my signal to sleep soon, I'm going for a final fag and a glass of water before finishing this off for the night, so if anyone has been reading now would be the chance to let me know your lurking. Would be good to hear that all this wasn't just a fucked up ramble and that someone has got my disparate points, and please do pull me up on any bad advice I've given along the way, I'm still learning to deal with my problems rather than run away all the time, and would be good to hear an anon tell me if what I've planned for this quiting attempt is completely wrong or not, I get the feeling OP probably don't need to deal with my shit as well as his if he has been lurking, but my paranoia is telling me he's not coming back and all this was pointless. But back to the story, gets depressing for a bit now, but as I've said before my mate dealt with his problem with a stenght I've never had, an I think that it's his example that could give OP the something he needs to get through the bad times. Again, sorry to all for the state I've been writing this in, I'll come back and check that everything I said was accurate and made sense when I get up this evening.

>Anon helped me through a lot of my depressive shit over time, although I didn't get what was happening at the time he was doing to trick to get me to open up, and basically just kept his head together whatever shit was going on in his life.
>Just came out one of my isolationist periods off pushing everyone away Autum year before last, sat out in a car smoking up as usual waiting for my best mate at the time (guy who's house I went to when I left home for the week, also the guy who introduced me to the group in first place).
>Best anon (as I will now call him) arrived looking worried, and told me that he had just heard from Anons family
>Anon had collapsed, been taken into hospital, and he had Lukimia.
Cont bellow, keep with me for just a couple of post more

>>18181678
Cont, couple more posts now, this guy's opiate problem I hope will resonate with you on a level my comparatively small problems never could. In a way I feel I'm slightly betraying the kid, publishing his story as I've perceived it without so much as asking, but I think he wouldn't mind his experience being used for a good cause.
>Turns out he had three different types of Lukimia, the worst of which had been active in his system for five years a decade ago and been dormant since
>Anon had always been physically weak but we had just put it down to his hobbies consisting of him sat at home watching stuff or playing video game, no one ever though there was something seriously wrong with the guy.
>When we found out first thing we did was call him, and he told us the cancer was serious, quite late stage, I'll be fucked if I can remember the specifically which at this point.
>But gist was, a guy who had enough problems to smoke too much weed but was actually sane enough to not let it fuck with his head the way it has done mine, was now facing possible death.
>We, best anon and myself, made arrangements to go up to visit him during the next weekend I had off, as I was the only one who could drive and the hospital was across the country.
>We asked him if he wanted anything brought up, and he asked us to pick him up some weed, so we got what we could together on the day (only ended up being couple of gram, but must have been better than the nothing he had been smoking in the couple of weeks before we got a chance to head up).
>We drove up their, first time I had driven around a city without a driving instructor, and the hospital signs pointed to the wrong hospital, so we ended up only getting to visit for about an hour in total.
>When we got there, he seemed absolutely fine.
>Again, fine.
>Anon could deal with shit well, but never thought that he could face death with a grin and an "I'll be fine" quipped at his mothers worrying.
Cont bellow

>>18181756
Almost done now, looking forward to sleep at last, getting late enough in the day for me to think about staying up till night to balance out sleep schedule again, so may be around for a bit longer. Here's still hoping OP comes back and gets to read this if it's legible.

>Anon was, and still is, the bravest motherfucker I have had the chance to meet, just for his attitude in that hospital.
>He quit smoking the day he got into the hospital, and since has had the occasional cig while drinking or sniffing, but again managed to quit smoking immediately after being diagnosed.
>I did try to get through to him, I think that he was putting on a front to keep his family together, the stress to a bad toll on his Mum, who split with his step dad while Ben was undergoing his many treatments, making Ben effectively man of the house and the main provider as his Mom was now his full time carer.
>The guy basically supports his entire family at the age of eighteen (only three days between our birthdays), while I was still stuck trying to sort out my own seemingly insignificant problems.
>But as I said before, this is the story of his opiate abuse, which started when the doctors prescribed him morphine as a pain killer.
>Anon, being as scared as he must have been underneath the front he put on for everyone, started to work ways to convince the doctors to give him extra morphine, because the high was apparently incredible. (As I say, never had the chance to experience it fortunately for me, one bullet I've avoided)
>He worked out a routine to get the tanks swapped over every time the nurses changed shifts, rather than the once a day(if I remember correctly, getting foggy again now, trying to wrap up and hoping someone will come and keep thread alive for a while in-case OP comes back)
>He started to take enough to hallucinate on occasion, I remember particularly bad trip he told me about. Last tangent time, wrapping up soon(cont)

>>18181777
>So Anon had a bad trip, in a way unsurprisingly after everything that was going on for him.
>He thought there was dead baby stuck to the celeing, and that I was trying to get him, crawling towards him staring at him with his empty eyes.
>Honestly sounds like the scariest shit I could imagine, stuck in your hospital bed, knowing despite your positive front that death was a real possibility, and now also dealing with a new drug problem.
>But, Anon being the invincible motherfucker that he is, survived the strongest course of raido therapy and chemo therapy available, and started to get better. In his words, they don't kill cancer, they kill the host then once the cancers dead they bring you back to life.
>He looked dreadful, we went to see him when we had a chance and the spare cash to drive the distance, (couple of hundred mile round trip, a lot of money giving I was still working at McDs at the time, but I digress) and Anon kept getting slightly better but looking slightly worse every time we saw him, as the side effects of the treatements really set in.
>Anon had no hair left, when he did have bits left he would pull it out in tufts and laugh about it, his skin seemed to flake away to nothing, but Anon kept his head up the entire time.
>Once he was given the doctors were certain he had gone into total remission, as Anon had said all along, he left hospital and left the Morphine there, but as I hope I said during my long background story, I went back into isolation around this time, the depression had come back.
>But it was Anons belief in himself that got him through in my opinion, sure he may have had some rough times since, he did respond last weekend after I mentioned I had MD on me, but again my lack of trust comes through. At the same time, Anon has dealt with a lot more shit than I've ever had too, the real difference is two fold:
>Anon never ran away from his problems, he faced them and dealt with them as they came and he came out (last cont)

>>18181817
Cont for final time now, except maybe a quick summary I think it might help get my point across in a legible manner.

>Anon never ran away from his problems, he faced them and dealt with them as they came and he came out alive and has been in remission since. He destroyed the cancer with pure will power in my mind, and he overcame addiction to not just the morphine but to testosterone and a couple of other meds he was on during the treatment, didn't mention to keep everything relevant but occurs to me know y'all may want to full picture if you've got this far.
>He kept the right mindset, didn't beat himself up over anything when he was going through the worse times I could imagine, he just kept on beliving in himself when others around him treated him like he was already dead in a way. I know that for a fact becuase I was one of them, learining to deal with a mate who's in that situatuion takes some getting used to. I was dealing with my own bullshit as per usual at the time, so I may not have been there as much as I could have been, but Anon survived on his own will and is a better person for it.
>He's still looking after his family on his disability check, he's still doing fine, and he's still willing to listen to my shit which is incredible to me. I've fucked a lot of people over the last few years, as I've explained extensively, but Anon I draw strength from what he's accomplished, even if at my worst I still don't feel I can trust him atm. I get that it's my own hangup, but would still like an unbiased perspective on the whole manipulation thing they did to get me to talk, can't help but feel that sort of thing could be a valid reason not to trust them.
But I've had mad rant about my own life, this is a tribute to Anons ability to just get on with doing what needs to be done.

Cont summary bellow, final post, someone please keep thread alive for OP in case he returns.

>>18180048
>has weed
>but still did heroin instead

Serious question: why? You have this miracle drug that you can't get addicted to or die from, but you instead go with heroin which can kill you and get you addicted. Why is this attractive to some people?

>>18181862
Final post now, I'll repeat the main points again out of sheer paranoia that I've been writing unintelligible shit for hours now, and I came here originally after advice on how to quit. Finding this thread gave me a chance to let of some steam while trying to help someone, and for the final time now, I get that I've been off my head on drugs trying to give someone advice on how to get off them, and I do see the irony in that, but as I said before I feel confident this is the last time I actaully needed the drugs, to get me to open up to people who still cared about us. I think that's one of the most important things, after getting through the initial chemical withdrawal and keeping yourself motivated, which I hope Anons story may have helped with in some way, but back to the point, having people you can talk to about what your going through will help you massively, if you feel you've pushed your old friends away too many times to go back there's still no need to leave on a bad note, clearing shit up with them will help get your self-confidence back. As I said before mate, failing that, if you do want to reach out to someone drop us an email, I get talking to people who you'll never know the name or face off can help you be open about things you normally wouldn't tell anyone, as I said I've got my support network this time around so I'm feeling ready to quit for good, and if anything that I've said tonight helped you at all, this last relapse was well worth it. Look after yourself anon, and good luck.

To anyone else who has been lurking, for whatever reason you decided to stay and watch a guy offload his shitty life story onto an anonymous image board to try and help someone, I'm glad you've been here for my last trip down into wonderland, any advice or anyone who feels they want to reach out to me my anon email is [email protected], and if anyone is here try and keep thread alive for OP, if he's gone he's gone but I think I could help the guy.

>>18181881
i dont do heroin but i would assume it's bc the high is different, more potent.
ive been addicted to opioids (percocets mainly) for 6 yrs now. i could get weed instead and i have, but the high is different.

i dont feel as in control of myself like i do with pills. i also hate the smell of weed and having to take a shower each time and change clothes.

with a pill i can take it and go to the store, work, take one in my car, do whatever and no one would be none the wiser.

>>18181881
Yo, I'm off after this one, just wanted to let you know it's just progression and the gradual increase in tolerance, to reach the same level of high you have to take more and more and eventually harder and harder drugs. As I say I'll lay off after this one, goodnight 4chan, time for a fag shower and finally sleep for me.

OP, one other thing I wanted to mention in summary but slipped my mind, if and when you relapse give yourself to space to do it properly, enjoy a couple of nights getting fucked, lifes too short and if you can remain in control on whatever you take then your winning man, if you can enjoy the occasional break from real life, just don't let it spiral completely back out of control when you do.

>>18181899
I suppose, but with wax, it's completely different. No smell, and you use it with a vaporizer, use it in public and have everyone think it's an e-cig.

And the smell of weed really isn't that bad. Unlike cigarettes, you can just go outside for 10 minutes and the smell is gone.

>>18181907
i have no way of getting wax unless i go buy a marijuana card and i honestly hate doctors.
ive tried the outside thing to get rid of the smell and it doesnt work

>>18181915
Neither of these are good excuses to switch to pills lmao. I guess some people really are just stupid.

>>18181915
>>18182114
Oh, and I'm in an ILLEGAL state and can still manage to get wax. You have no excuse.