When I'm being sexy with my boyfriend he can only get a

>>18175029
I bet he just faps and consume too much porn.

I bet you havent tried to ask him, have you? But ask him after act, because if something has power to kill erection it is attack on man's fragile ego.

>>18175059

Ok, I tried asking him

He said he used to overfap to the point he'd even try to flaccid, so for a year or two his dick's been this way

?

Not sure if he's serious or if maybe it is my fault
we only started dating a few months ago also

> I'm used to sleeping with men

slut

>>18175075
See he overdid it with fapping. I bet it is getting common with so easy access to porn.

>my fault
Nah. Man are capable of sleeping with almost anything with vagina considering they are healthy fit with some testosterone. Only when you enter morbidly obese range or when you insults their performance / ego the boners dies.

Now post pics of your body so we can examine your looks and give you objective rating.

T. Guy. :-D

>>18175085

But he stopped overfapping as much in more recent times, yet it still somehow does this, what's up with that?

>>18175095
He's probly still fapping to porn. If he stopped doing that and only would be allowed to have sex he'd get hard as a diamont within a month or two

>>18175095
Having strong erection is like 70% mental and 30% physical thing. And i dont know him, but when you condition your brain to get erect only at super strong stimuli (vore shota femdom ntr scenarios in pure 2D form) for several years the boring 3D woman just cant cut it anymore.

So dont overthink it, but you cant really compete with things on
>>>/d/ just see for yourself.
If anything, it is his problem really.

>>18175103

Yeah he faps regularly but it's still not as often as it used to be, has his past overfapping really made his dick odd?

>>18175110

I've seen this in person though and we both love hentai and even that only gets him a halfie, I'm confused!

>>18175117

As in even hardcore hentai and stuff I know he loves won't get him fully hard without stimulation too

My boyfriend is the same. It's actually a huge turn off for me and I've started being really bored with him. He's entering gay friend territory and to be really honest, I just want to be fucked good by someone because I miss feeling feminine in the arms of a raging horny man. Fml

Gross, get another man. No one wants a man wo can barely fuck.

This is important: does he only have trouble getting hard when you're actually about to have sex? Like, if you're cuddling on the couch or whatever, do you ever feel him getting hard?

OP, I'm just like your bf. And even worst, even my gf's hand can't get me super hard, only mine that can make me super hard. And yes, it is because he tried flaccid, his dick knows that he can cum without being hard.
If you find a solution, please tell me.

If you think that's a problem try not being laid in five years.

>>18175915

Are you saying you also used to fap flaccid and had an addiction and now your dick also is conditioned to think it doesn't need to be super hard?

>>18175910

We've not had sex yet, but from intimacy and other foreplay he cannot get fully hard or stay fully hard unless it's constant.

Examples: We can be making out, sometimes he won't get hard at all, sometimes he'll get a bit hard

or he'll be going down on me etc and he'll enjoy it but go flaccid unless you stimulate him too, you have to constantly stimulate it for him to get a full boner otherwise when he is really aroused it tends to be a halfie

He will get them rubbing against eachother though!

>>18176153

He's probably nervous.

>>18175029
There are women who can get halfway to orgasm just by thinking and others who need very specific physical stimulation and no other.

Why should it surprise you that the same can be true of men?

Quite literally, different strokes for different folks.

>>18176174
Because men and women are wired differently. Stop trying to make us the same. We are not.

>>18176177
Speak for yourself

>>18176198
Grow a pair.

>>18176214
It's not good to think "men are like this women are like that"

You should have more flexible views

>>18176169

No it's not nerves, this happens even when he faps to porn, he gets a halfie then has to encourage it

>>18176242
He might actually have something serious going on, dude.

Possibly something medical, more likely something psychological (given his age). This isn't meant to be rude, but you're not really in a position to say whether it's nerves or not. Sometimes when guys have anxiety issues about sex it's not even apparent to THEM that's what's going on, they just know there's *something* wrong.

I'm the guy who asked above about whether he ever gets had when you guys are just cuddling. I wasn't really asking about foreplay, I mean can/does he become erect in situations that aren't explicitly sexual. e.g. when you guys are JUST cuddling, clothes on, or when you're making out but it's not gonna lead to anything more than that at all.

I ask because I had something like this when I started having sex. And it absolutely was nerves. Some kind of bizarre emotional hangup. I don't know why, I was never molested or anything, but something was just making me shut the fuck down emotionally whenever I did anything sexual. I could get aroused passively, when not really thinking about sex (just snuggling with my girlfriend, or when I knew that nothing could actually happen (out in public or whatever) but the second actually doing anything sexual became a possibility (including solo masturbation) I would go from aroused -> total numbness inside. Complete shutdown. Although I could still get hard through physical stimulation.

Sound familiar?

If you asked me I would've told you "No, I'm not nervous at all," and meant it. And it wasn't nerves exactly, but it was something close -- some kind of anxiety or trust issue. So I don't think you should be so certain when you say "it's not nerves."

I'm in the same situation and I really hate it. I'm feeling more and more depressed over the whole thing as time goes on.
I actually just want to break up so it's not a blow to my confidence anymore.

>>18176276

I remember when we were spooning in bed the other week he got hard from the contact, again not properly fully, and he gets half hard from seeing my legs bare and half hard when we make out

but for full hard you have to touch him

does that help? sorry

>>18176295
Sorta. It sounds a little like what I had, which I did get over, but it took a lot of time and a very patient girlfriend (I just had to learn to relax about sexual stuff, which was about 1000x harder (haha) than it sounded ... again, got no clue what the cause was, or if there even was one.)

If he has some kind of psychological barrier, I'm sure it's not identical to what mine was, and he won't get over it in the same way, so unfortunately I don't have much actually useful advice to offer beyond "don't be so quick to dismiss anxiety/nerves as a possible cause." it is PROBABLY some kind of mental block, in my opinion. Physiologically-induced ED is rare in young men.

It's not unheard-of, though, so there might be something medical going on, testosterone problems or some such, in which case, while there are things he can do at home to correct that, his first step should be to see a doctor.

It's also POSSIBLE he just needs to do a complete detox from masturbation (not just porn). I mean, like ... no masturbation at all for months. Despite what people on here will tell you masturbation is normal and generally not unhealthy but it's not unheard of for it to cause issues like this, although it is rare.

Tough situation with several possible causes and even more possible remedies. Sorry I'm not being more helpful.

Get a man who is healthy. Your guy sounds very unhealthy.

>>18176309

I know that even when he's not fapping or finishing he does play with it when he is bored, but I don't know how it affects him to the point seeing me naked and making out with him only gets him half there- it really can feel at times like it's my fault!

It helps hearing someone else explain it as I'm not familiar with this at all and I appreciate it

>>18176328

How so anon?

>>18176475
It is 100% not your fault. If you ever catch yourself thinking like that, remember that he has this problem when looking at PORN STARS, women whose whole job is literally to turn people on. It is clearly a problem with him, not with you.

Where I differ from some of the other people who've posted is that I think it's more than likely not his *fault*, either. There are dozens of things that can cause ED: physiologically there's diabetes, low testosterone, vitamin/mineral deficiencies and a hundred other things, psychologically there's insecurity, performance anxiety, trust issues, gender dysphoria/body image issues, past sexual trauma and another hundred OTHER other things. All of these are involuntary and nobody's to blame for any of them, but they do need to be fixed (fortunately they are all fixable, some easier than others). I only wish I could magically know which one it was.

Have you actually talked to him about this? I realize it's an intensely awkward subject to bring up and few guys will react well to it, but there's really no other way to move forward on this.

>>18176153
Yup, that's what I meant. I also had the habit of watching porn without feeling aroused, I used to watch it just for the sake of watching it. It got to the point where I can browse /s/ or even /gif/ without getting a boner.
It's not medical, since I have morning woods, so I'll agree with >>18176276, even if it's more likely to be a religious block for me.

>>18175029

some people are more physical than visual. women often require physical stimulation as well, but some tend to be more like men and get horny fast at a visual

>>18175029

>Wtf I thought all men were the same :(

Men, just like women have their quirks, preferences, and fetishes. Like how some women can't get off at all through penetration, or that some go crazy if you touch their nipples, some men either only slightly or don't get aroused by visual stimuli (alone)

>>18176487

You and everyone here are being really helpful, thank you so much

I have talked to him about it and he says he's incredibly attracted to me and he masturbates to me a lot, that this has happened for a while now and that when he's turned on he either is flaccid or semi and needs to have physical stimulation to go all the way

How do I approach it from here? What should I talk to him about?

>>18175059
>>18175075
>7 min in between posts and suddenly """she""" has an answer from her bf and can post it online.

Good bait requires actual work faggot.

>>18176216
Why when it is largely true? For most men and most women generalizations do apply, and where they dont it is easy to learn the specifics

>>18176623

OP here, I've previously talked to my bf about it bu not in detail until I'd made this thread

Want text caps as proof, are you that petty? if you have nothing to contribute except accusing me of baiting please leave, it's an ongoing issue I'm trying to resolve with him

People like you come in here looking for things to pick at instead of giving advice, why bother?

>>18175029
>and to get to a full hard on it needs physical stimulation.
I'm the same way, it's just sort of the way it is. Try being physical. Down there.

Maybe use your mouth?