>be me >make friends >be loyal to friends >at some

Can you give any examples of the rude things they say?

You'll have to be more specific

I'm not denying the possibility that they were really being a dick, but it could also be that they thought they were just bantering in good fun and didn't expect you to take it too seriously

>>18170358
>>18170354

in particular I have a female friend. Goto her condo and she will randomly kinda rag on me. I'm pretty sure she has a crush on me. but its just gotten to points where its like. wow... wtf?

>"do you ever do your hair?"
>"you can't just wear all black"
>pushes me in the pool repeatedly

comments like that. I use to always just take it as . oh shes just joking. but theres been a few times where its like. Well I can do the following:

>dish it back at her, make fun of her for something
>actually say something , "wow I don't know why I even interact with you"
>or just call her out "yo shut the fuck up"

I get some friends just rag on each other. but its something I never REALLY understood. More times then not I don't let it bother me. But with a few friendships its getting to the point of.
I don't want to hangout with that person again. Then I see them at work or through friends and we're back to being friends again.

I find with friends that rag on me. I'll try to join the fun and make fun of them back. But then they don't like it and act hurt.

its almost like this to me

>someone pokes fun at me
>I take it
>they poke again
>I respond with the same bullshit they came at me with but a little more creative and direct
>that friend freaks out
>I have to apologize

do friendships have this subtle power struggle ?

most times I just think its a form of projection. They are insecure about their life and they are testing you to see how you would handle it. And they learn.

Also come to think of it. most of these friends are in their early 20s. so maybe just stuck in highschool mode.

>>18170420
she tryna fuck but u r autistic

be glad people want to be ur friends

>>18170420
Yeah it sounds like you just don't understand basic banter and socializing, sorry for being blunt but there's no other way to put it

Comments like that aren't meant to actually hurt your feelings and there shouldn't be any kind of "subtle power struggle", the things you say to poke back probably come out harsher than you think

>>18170448
>yeah it sounds like you just don't understand basic banter and socializing,

I'm 28 years old. I've been socialized.

There is a point of banter and there is a point of. Wow you are being a fucking asshole.

or I just don't jive with their form of "banter" or they suck at making it seem like a joke or banter.

at some point their "banter" crossed into the section of. wow you are just being mean.

OP I'm getting a bit of an egomaniac vibe from you. I'm the same way so I understand exactly what you're saying.
The way my therapist has helped me understand it is like this:
Sure they may be being a bit of a dick, but that's just how guys are. Most people aren't that extrospective where they are intentionally testing a "subtle power struggle" as you say, however I know exactly what you mean. With an ego like ours, we can't help but feel as though they are trying to "overthrow" or assert themselves as dominant, and that often feel unacceptable for people like us.
But guys (in general) like to be dicks to each other. Most guys aren't capable of showing affection normally for fear of looking like a pussy so they just rag on each other because it's the only way they know how. If it really bothers you then your only option is to find other friends who aren't afraid of being nice for fear of judgement.
Basically, you have to convince yourself not to take it personally. There is no real power struggle.