I've noticed that if I compliment a guy's appearance

It doesn't happen that often for a typical male. They just don't know how to react.

>>18169820
dont compliment if they dont like

>>18169820
>Is it bad to say you're physically attracted to a guy?

It's always unexpected.
Even if you're hoking up with them.

Guys are more used to being treated like "creeps" who "just want one thing".
It sucks, but we know how to deal with it.

A girl actually liking a guy and showing it, is often unexpected and fucks with the status quo. We're not exactly sure bout what the appropriate response is other than a rather shocked "thanks".

Stop dating insecure guys. Problem solved.

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>>18169820
They are most likely put off by it.
I was once groped by a girl and it took me a fair amount of time to read the situation even though it was pretty obvious.

Or maybe they think you are toying with them and aren't actually serious.

Yea but most likely they look at you as the good girl type and that behaviour is something that completely distorted their whole understanding about you.

Don't worry too much about it and continue subtly.

Well, think of it this way. What would you expect them to do or say? There really isn't a good way to act for men other than a "thanks".

>>18169820

they feel uncomfortable because they dont know what to say.

saying 'thank you' will often result in someone joking that they're egotistical, which implies that they secretly think they ARE egotistical and not just joking.

and saying 'no im not' usually leads to an argument about accepting a compliment.

i hooked up with a guy once, and he gave me like ten compliments in a row, and it ended with 'you seem so intelligent'. mind you up to this point all i had said to him was 'thanks' and 'fuck me daddy!' so he didn't have much to go on.

i said 'you don't know that' (in regards to me being intelligent) and he got all mad 'JUST TAKE THE COMPLIMENT, WHY CANT PEOPLE TAKE COMPLIMENTS'.

i took ten fucking compliments in a row about an assortment of shit and he blew up over me not accepting /one/.

point is that society has made compliments a bad thing.

>>18169820

A lot of guys aren't usually used to compliments.

A secret though: everyone likes them, just not everyone knows how to respond.

That being said, I'm going to say there ARE certain compliments on certain compliments that just might land wrong--just the same as it is for women.

>>18169849
When is the appropriate time to give compliments and have them be accepted with grace and zero awkwardness?

Between you and someone you've been with for a long time? A close friend maybe?

>>18169856

I'm >>18169830

In my experience; never.

That said, I've accidentally complimented people without realising it... being shocked at how old someone actually is when they tell me there age, for example, because they look too good for their age, as an example.

I made it a rule not to compliment people, or even talk about their appearance, but sometimes things like these accidentally slip.

I think they are the only socially acceptable compliments simply because they are more genuine and you don't realise you are doing them.

>>18169856

virtually never really. unless they show you something they created and you can comment on WHY its good, it tends to be awkward.

We get awkward because we never get them. For some reason you're not supposed to tell a man anything positive about himself.

>>18169883

well yeah, you'll get an ego.

>>18169820
Guys aren't women
Guys can't get by on their looks unless they're an actor or some shit

>>18169865
>>18169868
>never

Holy shit yo. What? As this anon >>18169854
Ya'll need to be less self-conscious.

>>18169856

Compliment people when you feel like it.

Don't do it over something overtly sexual unless you're trying to go there, but feel free to compliment over other shit.

I compliment people all the time because I think they have a fucking awesome haircut, because I think their mustache is sweet as hell, because I think the dress and shoes combo the picked out is cool, because they got a drink that I love.

A good rule of thumb for compliments is usually:

Do not compliment over attributes or intrinsic elements (I.E. body parts, height, voice, etc) Those are all things that are static and unchangeable. You are in effect, complimenting things they have no choice over and it can sound objectifying.

Do compliment over choices and decisions. (I.E. clothes, hobbies, skills, etc) these typically are all things that the individual has put obvious time and effort in to selecting, and have a reason to be proud of. You are in effect, complimenting the things they choose to represent themselves, and it can validate their choices.

>>18169898

>ya'll need to be less self-conscious

not, culture needs to change. Were in this horrible transitional time where were not allowed to be proud but were not allowed to be humble.

>>18169820

it makes you sound like their idiot mom

I like it..

But the only person who sais I'm attractive is an old cat lady friend of mine, she's like 60+ so.. yeh.

So then the tables turn and I compliment a girl I'm compatible with.. she barely sais a word.. I came on strong though, so it was awkward no doubt, but it wasn't disrespectful, just really raw and honest. Girl barely moved, answered yes when I asked if she was flattered, but frankly, I felt crushed.

There where hundreds of girls there, but she was "the one". Sometimes compliments hurt oneself more than anyone else, so I can see why it would bother you.

>>18169820
when a somebody compliment me i make that kind of awkward faces too... I know its wrong but most times i feel i dont deserve the compliment, nobody should feel so excited about my accomplishments, isnt that great like it sounds from the other person and that makes it a bit humiliating...

Normally it hurts more coming from a girl who im interested because there is a possibility she is seeing a distorted version of me or more great than its really are, and secondly because I know she is going to leave me someday and those so great things she said will mean nothing anyways because i wouldnt be valuable anymore

Maybe theyre grossed out being hit on by an ugly chick

>>18169922
>it makes you sound like their idiot mom
And now I think it's actually pretty great.

Guys get complimented so little that we literally lose our shit, get all nervous n don't know how to respond whenever it happens

>>18169891
The ego is an illusion.

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>>18170553
:^)

>>18169820
i have trouble believing such remarks are genuine. not because i lack self esteem, but because i would suspect that you had ulterior motives

Dude here. It's like this.

A guy takes a girl on a big date, and he brings her a bunch of flowers which she thinks are pretty and smell nice and immediately puts them in a vase before leaving with him for their night out.

A girls buys flowers for a guy and he doesn't even own a vase to put them in - but that's fine because he's also not that interested in being given them in the first place.


Men have historically been the ones to court women, not the other way around. We aren't used to receiving compliments and we don't expect them in the first place. Guys don't compliment each other and none of us believes it when our mothers tell us that we look handsome.

OP here, ok I'm confused.

So I shouldn't compliment guys ever right?

No it's just male autism kicking into overdrive. We like it but we don't know how to respond. Or atleast I don't

>>18169820

Props to you for being that brave. I can't even prolong eye contact with an attractive guy. Sometimes i wonder how it comes across from their pov.

>>18171449
I for one would feel good if you did it.
>>18170692
>one of us believes it when our mothers tell us that we look handsome.
b-but I do
but it's not my mother but my father and it's because other people had told me so too before

>>18171457
I usually swing for shy Girls

They're usually the most attractive physically and personality wise. A lot of dudes see it this way.

>>18171449
Do it when the fuck you feel like it hahahahaha holy shit

>>18171492

Good to know, I feel like a sperg when it happens but I know I blush way too easily. It makes me feel guilty when I see men complain about having to make the first move but i could definitely never do it myself.
Sometimes it seems like they might be amused by it I can't tell what they're thinking and I'll never be able to ask outright.

>>18169820
I mean, how are you supposed to respond? I just say "thanks"

Not really, guys like to be complimented too - mostly when the complimenting girls is attractive, of course (same goes the other way round).

Some just pretend to be humble and not care because caring about looks is not manly.

>>18171531
this

i totally get the srtuggle, but the thing is that the question involves more than one issue, isn´t it? Like: uncommon social behaviour, shyness if not plain autism from both parts, issues involving guys self image.
In a more practical outlook; there is more than one way to tell a compliment, so not every compliment is acceptable although if you are that autistic you may think if its positive it´s automatically good?
ie: You turn me on-> awkward as hell
You look good today(very casual tone, a bit of clothe touching maybe) -> might be fine

>>18169824
fpbp /thread

>>18171517
Several women have made moves on me. I loved it and found it very cute and couragious every singe time.

>>18169820
Are you hitting on guys with girlfriends or wives?

Whenever it happens to me, my mind freezes but I fake my way through it with a smile and a "likewise" or "thank you". Yeah, I guess it's because compliments like those hardly come out unless I am with a lady sexually. Sometimes it feels disingenuous to me due to the fact that I never get it other than during sexy times.