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>21
>light autism
>work full time, help parents pay for things and live with them
>honestly don't think i could handle living on my own yet, as well
>can't drive, was never taught and lessons are crazy fucking expensive
>have always been hilariously unsuccessful with women, just recently rejected again
>don't understand what a woman's love/touch feels like still
>have no friends beyond my mother
>try to go out and make friends
>fail
>try to block out some minor depression over my situation with massive amounts of drug abuse, nobody knows, thankfully
>just keep on working 40-55 hour weeks, paying bills, and doing speed
>try to not cry myself to sleep
How do i stop this shitty cycle? I honestly don't see a way out. Even if i kick my habit, i still have no lover, no friends, and nothing for myself really. All i have is my job which is testament to the most I've ever succeeded in life. I've become apathetic towards living and find no pleasure in living anymore, but i don't want to die. I tried college, failed. Tried trade school, failed. I don't see any room for advancement for me.
How to the fuck do i get out of this hell?
>>
Continue suffering, suffering is the way to enlightenment.
Only through pain will you appreciate life and become more motivated to improve yourself.
Using drugs or alcohol is cheating, you need to be degraded, demoralized, and abused and go through with it until you hit the lowest point of your life where you realize you have nothing to lose, and you'll do whatever the fuck you want and it'll be life on easy street.
>>
Try traveling. Save up, move to a different area and try living on your own, it will all fall into place. Pick up hobbies, do things that make you happy.
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>>18167488
I've been taking more life management classes offered for autistics and despite being high functioning, i haven't been able to excel as much as others in regards towards independence. I'm working more and more towards that, though.
I might travel when i have a tad more money. I have been spending a good deal on bills recently but that is going to slow down soon, thankfully. I have only like $1000 in the bank as my "ohshit" money
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>>18167485
But haven't i always been improving myself? What's the difference doing it sober?
>>
I have some thoughts that might help. I knew a few autists in high school and some of them made it.
1. Physicality. Get seriously /fit/. Like men, there are women who will overlook other flaws just to be with a 9/10. Men will on some small level respect your gains.
2. Social. Dive into some serious hobbies and that will always be a common thread to bond over. Where local interest is small, this will make you the weirdo in a group, but a part of it still.
3. Situational. Don't know how you dodged driver's ed, but taking professional lessons isn't necessary AFAIK. It isn't that hard, you just take everything slow and develop good habits. Then pass the test at the dmv.
Start saving money every paycheck. If the thought of buying a car/place is too much, just save until it becomes a realistic decision.
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