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Is this a "normal" son and mom relationship? My bf is super close to his mom, he actually lived in his mothers house until the age of 24. Upon our first date, he brought me back to his house where I thought we were just gonna get it on but he brought up meeting his mom if she was there...which was a little odd to me since I lieterally just met him that very day. Said if she didn't like me then he couldn't date me. Fast forward 8 months of dating, his friend needs a roommate, basically begs bf to move in with. Bf does it but keeps saying every month the whole time he is there how he is gonna move back with his mom. Anyway, ends up deciding to not do that when lease is done but rather he wants to live with me but the catch is he wants to live right by his moms house which would make it so his drive to work is longer and I am an hour away from my school. Basically has this big fight but he finally agrees its unreasonable to expect me to move in with him and drive that far to school. So we move in a place closer to his job and my school. Now he saying how after this year he is gonna move back into his moms house.
He also now keeps wanting to bring his mom on all our dates which is getting. If I reject he claims I am making him chose between his mom and me. He also now all of the sudden lets his mom dictate his mood. Ex; has upset stomach while moving, bf is understanding, gets towards end of the day, suddenly bf is beyond mad at me, asks why, he says "well my mom is made at you for being sick so now I am." Now I'm scared if his mom suddenly stops liking me its going to make our relationship unbearable.
Is it reasonable for me to be upset about this? How can I go about expressing my concerns to him without making it seem to him that I dislike his mom or whatever? I really don't want to make him chose between me or her, I just want it so she basically isn't the third wheel in our relationship.
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Wierd. I had a girlfriend that did the same shit.
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>>18165975
Your boyfriend has heavy mommy issues, but perhaps for a decent reason. What do you know of the boys father, and the mothers relationship status? Often times, before a father dies he will instruct his oldest son to take good care of his mother (traditionally). If his father is dead then I say he has decent reason enough to be so attached to his mother, but that doesnt mean you have to deal with it anyway. Your life is your choice.
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Why/how are you still in this relationship
Are your standards really this low?
This is SAD.
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>>18165983
His mom an dad are divorced. He seems to resent his father for being a dick though to put it simply.
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>>18165975
It will not get better, no matter what you do. Obviously they live in some sort of interdependent relationship and any outsider trying to intervene is viewed as a threat to it. An abnormal relationship with the mother is the number 1 red flag in guys, because if the relationship gets serious, you won't be just dating the son, you'll be dating the mother as well and they'll both think it's okay.
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>>18165986
Well, there are a lot of great qualities to him despite this. When he was living with his mother he wasn't that clingy towards her. This all kinda started getting worse once he moved out of her house. Now that he is even further away from her it as escalated even more so.
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>>18165989
Then it seems he will do anything to please her. Just tell him straight up your thoughts and emotions on the conflict. Say that you love his mother and enjoy spending time with her, but you also want to spend private time with him and have romantic dates that you feel the mother may get in the way of. Don't deny him contact with his mother and do suggest days out that you can do some fun activity or go out for breakfast with his mom. If you make the suggestion to take his mother along every so often, he'll probably appreciate that. But if he can't cope with the fact of your wants/needs for one on one dates, then maybe he's not worth that effort.
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>>18165999
Its odd though because his mother isn't even the one enabling it, like asking to constantly spend time with him or wanting him to move closer, he is the one doing it. However, since he has moved significantly further from her she seems to kinda dislike me, like give me the cold shoulder when I'm around or becoming critical of me. Which is odd because for the first year of our relationship she loved me and was so happy that I was in his life and hoped that I would help him make the push to be more independent, etc. I haven't changed my personality or whatever since meeting her either.
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