Help me /adv/ >She's 38, I'm 27 >She wants kids,

>>18165317
>She's 38

Can she even have kids anymore?

You need to break up with her fast. She is really runnjng out of time to pump out a kid

>>18165317
you have to make a decision about whether you want kids with this woman really fast. I feel like a person in medical school would know that. She has like no time left and every day you're with her is a disservice to her.

>>18165325
I don't know, but while 38 is late it's certainly not impossible

>>18165329
you basically just rephrased what I wrote

She wants you for your money

>>18165341
nigga I'm unemployed and broke af
I'll start making "big" money in 4 years earliest.

raising a child would be really fun

>>18165317

Eggs have a best before date and she's running out of time to have biological children. If you're unwilling to accommodate her wish, then break up, because otherwise she'll grow to recent you for ruining her dream of motherhood.

I think waiting so long, going against the biological clock was of poor planning and foresight. Now she and her friends are inevitably going to put pressure on you to want something you may not want yet.

Like other have said, you have to make a decision, you cannot have one and not the other. From my experience, I have seen the dynamic decline as time passes, they will put more pressure on you, they're mood, decreasing. and if you dont make a clean break, she may resort to underhanded ways of getting pregnant by you.

>>18165355
We've just been together for nearly two years. Before me was single for a long time and just had one serious relationship about 10 years back. The thing is she was already planning on having children with the other serious guy but suddenly he broke up with her.

So it was not as much poor planning as it was bad luck.

>>18165317
If you want a baby, try to get some younger model around 25. It will be much better for you and chances of getting healthy baby will be much higher.

She has that thing called
>hitted a wall
when she realized that carrier is good but not the best thing to live life for and that all fine males around her are already hooked up or unusable. She will become so desparate that even unemployed unstable teens will do.

Break up unless she is very rich and you feel like man version of gold digger. But in case of break up, she will get the kid and you will pay up.

>>18165329

This is exactly what I wanted to say. Word-for-word. You've both gotta make some grown-up decisions fast. If you don't want kids, you need to let her go. If she does want kids, she needs to let you go. The clocks ticking defeaningly loud for her right now and if she doesn't make a decision soon, it's going to be too late. You, on the other hand, hand quite a bit of time left to pursue your degree and have children, if you feel so inclined in the future.

>>18165415
OK thanks.

>>18165317
Fulfill your objective and reproduce, fucking retard meatbag.

I think you need to accept that this is a relationship which cannot make you both happy in the long run. It's also one of the main reasons to avoid relationships with large age gaps.

Is there any scenario in which you would happily have a child with this person, in the next year or two?

Would it even be financially possible? Does this woman have a job? A house? Could she support the child and you while you finish medical school?

If you had finished all your studies, would you consider having children with this woman?

Two years isn't an awfully long time to be with someone before having a child but it's longer than some people manage and you're definitely not still in the infatuation stage, so you can be confident you work well together.

These are the questions you need to ask yourself. If the answer to any of them is "no" then it would be courteous of you to tell her this and allow her to make her own decision about whether she wants to give up the chance of having children or leave you for someone who will give her that.

Just be careful she doesn't attempt to trap you.

>>18165774
Thank you for this advice!
What do you mean with "trap me"?

(I kinda wish she would just get rid of her IUD without telling me, so that I don't have to decide)

>>18165847

Precisely that. Stop birth control and end up pregnant without asking you.

She could bring the children up with help from friends who also want children, while the two of you stay together.

But I think 38 is far too young to be a parent. After retiring, or at least winding down work, is the right time.

>>18165317
in 20 years she is 60 and basically a grandma
do you want to live with a gilf?

>>18165317
Yeah, if you wanna stay in the relationship, you're gonna have to do it now. The age difference is huge but if you're comfortable with the fact that she isn't gonna get any younger... Are you well situated? Who makes the money in the relationship?

also, it's not like you're too young to have kids anymore. How long have you been in that relationship? The added bonus is that she can hardly be disloyal to her 11 years younger bf, because she wont be able to find anyone "better"

>>18166051
are you insane

38 is late in itself, biologically. And believe me, raising a wild teenager as a retiree IS hell.

>>18165317

>She's 38

Her sell-by date is drawing near son. Get out of there while you still can and find a fertile young 20 year old. Being a mature med student will be your tool of pulling.
Fly you fool.

>>18166236
I can see somebody preferring a partner who will be more likely to be loyal, level headed and well situated, especially if you're not to intensive on sex.

Honestly I might as well prefer that situation.

>>18165344
be careful in assuming everything is good. if she is aware of your income generating potential in the coming years, then this could be heavily influencing her decision along with her current age. if your gonna stick with it just make sure her feelings are genuine for you.

>>18166353
>level headed and well situated,
>wants kids
Uhhhh

>>18166358
I see, thanks. But I have no doubt she really loves me, in fact I haven't ever felt so loved by someone who is not close family.

Which is also why I feel a little bit like a hypocrite for posting here.

>>18165317

Do it

>>18166417
Do what?

>>18166727

Break up with her and find a woman who doesn't want kids or have the kids. When you're ready. Its really shitty to ask a woman to grow old with you in a childless household and die alone, if you think about it.

Make a decision, broheem. Either way, she wants a family and you should give her the opportunity to do that, with or without you.

>>18166736
OK. Thanks bro.
I already feel like I ruined her life, shit is awful (I know it's bullshit, we've hardly been together 2 years). I might end up impregnating her just because I love her and don't want her to be unhappy.

>>18165317
Stay with her and have that child if you truly love her, BUT marry her first AND have a prenup that favors you financially.

Otherwise the risk is there that once the child is there and hence her dream fulfilled she doesn't let you see your child if she very falls out of love but uses your sweet doc money as her atm via child support.

Marriage + Prenup is a way to prevent that.