What's the point in approaching women if they already have

>>18164114
>What's the point in approaching women if they already have dozens of guys approaching them?
Haven't read the rest of your whiny post, but if you don't want to, don't. Don't complain you don't get any women either.

>>18164121
If you read the rest of my "whining" you'd see I actually asked some legit questions.

>>18164130
I just read the rest of your post. It was everything I expected, a "how do I have everything handed to me without having to lift a finger myself?" thread

>>18164114
women can be shy too, or just not have the "i have a vagina i can have any guy" mindset, therefore do not assume the guy she's talking to is interested. yeah hot girls know they're hot, but girls who think they're average looking may not have that confidence.
girls are people too, they have the same struggle regarding their love life.
if a girl interests you, approach her, that's all, if they dont approach you first yeah it sucks but hey what are you gonna do? cry and do nothing because the system is not fair because not the same amount of males and females makes the first move? people's initiative is up to each individual

>>18164114
Yes, it's fucked up and it sucks for guys, but it's just how biology and the sexual market is.

Honestly there's no real solution, you just gotta keep trying until one says yes. Sad but true.

>>18164148
You really didn't read the post at all, obviously. I asked how to become the sort of guy women want to approach, the kind they're actually excited about being with. I'm also asking if there is a correlation between whether women approach or not, and how attractive a given man is. And you're just being an asshole and projecting all this bullshit onto my thread for no reason. If you can't offer a decent response then just hide the thread, nobody's forcing you to respond or be here at all.

>>18164114
Women don't approach men. Period. Sure, there are exceptions to the rule but that's irrelevant.

>>18164160
You're basically asking how to be someone women approach. That's not how it works, as a man, YOU have to be the one who approaches women. That's been said in every response ITT

>>18164160
>"I know it's said that men should be the ones to do all the approaching..."
>"If I'm a guy who's not being approached does that mean I'm not attractive?"

you answered your own fucking question. no it doesn't mean you're not attractive because women don't approach men.

>>18164114
here is my secret and your answer to your question. you need to chase yourself not women if you want them to approach you and try to ask you out. Women want men who are ambitious and passionate in their life.

>>18164155
>therefore do not assume the guy she's talking to is interested.
Women tell me all the time about all the guys hitting on them or talking to them at once. I can never tell if they're bragging or legit annoyed, though I imagine it's a better problem to have (being desired by a huge crop of men vs not feeling desired by anyone at all). Women of course have their own issues but getting laid is never one of them, and while I can sympathize with them struggling to find 'love' just like I do, it's still on me to figure out why I'm always rejected eventually.

>if a girl interests you, approach her, that's all, if they dont approach you first yeah it sucks but hey what are you gonna do? cry and do nothing because the system is not fair because not the same amount of males and females makes the first move? people's initiative is up to each individual
Fair, but I do approach women. I've approached a fair amount over the years, I've even been on a few dates this month alone which is a welcome change from where I used to be (couldn't get one to save my life). It always ends up with them ceasing contact/not responding when I try to follow up and get another date. Even if I kiss-closed at the end it didn't ,make a difference, so I was starting to think that maybe I'm trying too hard and need to back off a bit, maybe even trying to see if there's a way to get women to approach or at least make them more interested, hence the thread.

Right now I feel like I just get stuck driving her around/buying her dinner/listening to her talk. It doesn't matter if I want to see them again or not, it doesn't matter if they say they want to see me again or not, they NEVER follow through and just blow me off after kissing me and telling me they'd like to meet up again.

>>18164195
>>18164176

No I didn't because it's not really clear whether men actually are REQUIRED to approach or if that's just some myth being perpetuated.

Call me crazy but whenever I approach and pursue I always feel like I'm doing too much. It doesn't matter if it's a short text. I feel like I'm being needy just for having to be the one to make all the moves and I'm tired of it.

>>18164173
That is a giant fucking lie

>>18164219
1. there are a whole laundry list of things you're probably doing wrong that's causing them to cut contact with you. too many gaps in the info that you're providing.

2. how old are you? where are you driving her lol? cut the dinner routine and take her out for drinks.

>>18164244
I'm 24.

What are some general reasons a woman would cut off a guy, anyways? I don't look or smell bad, I don't blab about ex girlfriends, I don't go into straight interview mode without being playful and I do initiate light touching usually in the middle or towards the end. The only things I can think I'm doing wrong is not pushing harder for sexual tension, or simply just seeming boring for my general lifestyle since all I do is work, take pictures and occasionally meet up with friends. but again that brings us back to the topic of the thread, and whether or not it's actually true that men have to do everything or not.

>>18164244
Should also add, I'm 24 and the girls I meet up with are usually younger, usually just too young to drink legally. I'm in America where our drinking age is stupid high so yeah.

>>18164225
it's not a myth. it's common practice in western dating culture. it's just something we as men have to navigate through.

do i agree with it? hell no. i get a little lazy sometimes too and would love to get hit on. it's flattering and makes you feel good. but it is what it is.

after a date wait a few days and give her a call or text. if she makes an excuse, it's fine shit comes up. try again in another week. if she doesn't respond, then don't even bother and move on to the next.

>>18164254
>"what are the general reasons a woman would cut off a guy, anyways?"

there's no definitive answer for that one. my guess is as good as anyone's honestly.

as for everything else you said, that might be it. could be that you're just not interesting enough. girls that are under 21 are typically still energetic and want excitement in their lives.

i'd recommend trying out women closer to your age, maybe even a year or two older. see how that goes.

>>18164114
I think you're making your insecurities dictate how women react with you instead of just being amazed at how hot she is.

I mean, the problem isn't anything other than yourself. You view the market for women as getting whoever they want to get. You don't realize women are just people, and the women you are talking about are in the 10% of attractiveness. And those tend to be even more insecure. Girls who are sexy always think guys don't want them for who they are but just for a warm body.

You can't get around having to approach and being rejected. Men are made to go after their dreams and passions, and sometimes you fail, massively fail. But that's fine. It's just a learning experience. Be fine with failing. What you need to focus on is how amazing that women is. How sexy she is. How cool it is to hang out with her. Not on possessing her. Let that shit go and chill.

>>18164334
I do agree with this a lot and "owning" a woman is truly the last thing i would ever want to do. Still it would be great if things went my way more often, that's all.

>>18164279
I probably do need someone older who isn't big on parties. I like drinking socially and I don't mind the weed but when that's all women want to do it honestly gets old for me.

>>18164264
Yeah it sucks but I guess it's better than me not being approached (technically women have approached me too, but it is very rare, and even those ones lose interest eventually).

>>18164254
You are most likely boring and come out as insecure.

I wouldn't give you an advice to be something totally different that you are. Some people just are more charismatic than others. I think it's important that you find girls who have similar interests and who are the same as you. I'm an extrovert and outgoing myself and I couldn't see myself with someone who's energy didn't match with mine.

Unfortunately as a man the balls is at your end when it comes to approaching. Women rarely does that. But what we do is we sent out signals that we want to be approached. We glance at guys direction, smile and generally pay attention to them and what they are doing. I'd never go to a guy and randomly ask them out, just because most men would think that it's pathetic. Subconsciously that is. A high quality woman doesn't have to approach men. (Not saying that I consider myself as a super alpha female but it's more about the power dynamics and if I approach a man, he'll easily think that either I'm crazy or just easy.)

>>18164114
>If I'm a guy who's not being approached does that mean I'm not attractive?
Not necessarily, but it probably means you present an entitled attitude and a 'creep' factor, both of which come across in this little spiel.
>How does a guy become someone women actually want to approach out of pure interest and desire, instead of just remaining passive and indifferent because they don't really care either way?
Be interesting. Honestly, I don't necessarily approach guys I find purely attractive, they have to look interesting. I could see a very conventionally attractive "Chad" and if he looked braindead, I wouldn't even bother.
>How do you get women to "chase" you, even?
Depends on the kind of women you want I suppose. If you wanty trashy materialistic whores, be someone they want-a rich sugardaddy. If you want something a little better, they won't chase you-you need to mutually want each other.