My girlfriend sometimes wears dresses I don't consider appropriate.

Stop being so controlling for one thing. You sound very insecure.

If you're so concerned about the dresses she wears, buy her ones that you like?

>>18162004
Well, I don't have any insecurities in this relationship. I trust her. I just morally don't want other men to see her underwear and I morally don't want to see more than that until I marry someone. I'm one of those crazy Christians. But I do like the idea of buying her a dress I like. Thanks for that one!

You got together with her presumably knowing what she dresses like. Then you don't get to turn around and tell her that now that she's your girlfriend, she has to change.

Even if you didn't know, you have no say in this. What you describe is pretty normal attire, not the most conservative but not eye catchingly provocative either. Now if she was going clubbing with a see through top I would understand your position. Telling her that she cannot dress with cleavage is not your place.

Obviously the dresses exist but she doesn't need an argument to want to dress according to what she likes. You can break up over it if you find it -that- important to have a girl who always covers up all of her tits, otherwise you have to accept it.

>>18161994
didnt u start going out with her for the dresses? if she just started wearing them then she wants you to give her attention or she feels smothered

File: 1456446621046.gif (891KB, 500x418px) Image search: [Google]

891KB, 500x418px

You either have to learn to deal with it, or break up with her. I recommend the former, considering that what you described is a stupid petty reason to end a relationship.

It' 2017, man. Your average girl dresses relatively immodestly If she's wearing shit like that every single day or when she isn't around you, it could be a sign she's a slut, but it's so hard to tell considering we live in a society where that shit is almost encouraged.

So yeah, just learn to live with it I guess. But if she has several other characteristics that are red flags, I'd take a look at the bigger picture.

>>18162020
Those are -your- morals. She gets to dress according to -her- morals and if she has no issue showing her body, you saying that she should adjust her choices and behavior to what you personally find important is controlling.

>>18161994

Women that dress provocatively when they already have a partner are attention whores. Sorry you got stuck with one. If she really cared it shouldn't be a big deal to wear a different kind of dress. She just wants you to feel guilty because she doesn't want to give up the extra attention. Posting them on instagram makes it obvious that you're not her intended audience

>>18161994
Much as you and I may personally disagree, the visible bra strap is a long-lost battle, fashion having declared it acceptable. Until fashions change, we will have to accept it.

You have a stronger case with cleavage and short skirts, but again have to be reasonable. What seems immoral to you may be so universally acceptable that others don't even see any sexual content to it.

And of course there is the much larger issue of how much say you have in her choices and how much she should compromise to please you.

I'd settle for a compromise if I were you - let her agtree to dress conservatively when she's with you, and you give her more freedom (and trust) .

>>18162023
Yeah. Before we started dating I'd only seen her wear maxi dresses and a summer dress that has short sleeves and I higher collar and that goes almost to the floor. But you said that doesn't make a difference so yeah. Thanks I guess I just need other guys to talk sense into me and my irl friends are just as bad as me so I can't talk to them.

I liked it when my ex would tell me to change because my skirt was too short. It turned me on for some fucked up reason.
My current boyfriend LOVES it when I dress provocatively and encourages it... but I feel a bit resentful that he doesn't care that I'll get male attention.

I wish more men were a bit more territorial but that's just me.

>>18162040
Well, it matters in the sense that it would be more hypocritical for you to go off at her if you already knew.

The thing is that if you have an expectation for a relationship that is out of the ordinary, the onus is on you to communicate that and see if the other one's okay with it (if it's that important to you). What your girlfriend is wearing is something most guys wouldn't bat an eye at, or would make them happy to walk around with her and show her off. In that case you need to make it clear right from the start that you are different and that's off limits to you... not spring it on her once she already has feelings.

>>18162033
Woah, I was almost thinking nobody else would see this my way.

>>18162027
No, she never wore these dresses before we got into a relationship. It was some months after that she started. I'd like to think they're for me, but posts on Instagram and the fact that she dresses more revealingly without me than she does with me makes me think twice about that.

>>18162033
>If she really cared it shouldn't be a big deal to wear a different kind of dress.
Except that she'd have to dish out serious cash to replace her wardrobe, and most people still value feeling [generally] desirable outside of their relationship.

I am pretty sure no old woman is sitting around wishing she dressed up less while she was still young and cute. Making yourself look attractive isn't just to attract people of the opposite sex (even apart from -everyone- responding better to nice looking people), it's also a display of zest for life and trying to make the most out of it.

>>18162039
Yeah. Thank you, I'll try.

>>18162053
>and the fact that she dresses more revealingly without me than she does with me makes me think twice about that.
...couldn't that just be because she knows you don't like to see her that way?

If not, this is the first thing you mentioned that seems like a legitimate thing to worry about.

>>18162054
>it's also a display of zest for life and trying to make the most out of it.
Kek, what a fucking joke

I'm sure you think women get plastic surgery or put on ounces of makeup because they have a "zest for life," and not just for attention or attraction from good looking guys

You just want to give girls like that the benefit of the doubt because you were raised in an emasculated society and don't want to seem sexist, but the truth is that girls who dress like sluts more than likely are sluts

>>18162054
It's partially for her? That seems really legitimate. At the same time, I used to wear speedos (the tight kind of swimsuit that goes down to my knees) because they made me feel good. But she asked me to stop wearing them after she caught girls staring at my dick when we went to the pool. I stopped for her. She knew I wore speedos since this relationship started in June last summer. I changed something that made me feel good about my body because she asked me to. Her reasons were the same as mine: she didn't want me getting too much attention. I just feel it's a little hypocritical that she makes me feel bad for doing the same to her. I should bring this up.

>>18162073
Why is it so inconceivable to you that it is fun to look good and to feel pretty regardless of what comes from it?

I'm a woman myself. I like to dress up and look pretty regardless of anything else. Hell, I spend a lot of money on beautiful lingerie despite not having sex in years by choice.

It might be beyond you, but it's a thing. Feeling like you look good makes you more confident, makes you feel alive.

Move somewhere where women are forced to walk around in shapeless veils if you can't deal with it.

>>18162073
Thank you for being the only person in this thread who gets it

>>18162082
Yeah bring that up for sure, she is a massive hypocrite if she doesn't tone down her wardrobe or at least concedes she was wrong about the speedos.

>>18162082
Yes. And it is hypocritical. You should absolutely wear them again, or at least point this out to her. She probably feels like it's a more extreme example or whatever but if you can deal with her dressing more revealing than you'd like she should extend you the same willingness.

File: 1457625939574.jpg (11KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 200x200px

>>18162085
>I'm a woman myself
THERE it is, kek

Keep dressing like a slut and doing mental gymnastics to justify it. Doesn't change a thing about reality.

>Move somewhere where women are forced to walk around in shapeless veils if you can't deal with it.
And you keep crying about feminism and oppression if you can't handle people criticizing you for dressing like a whore

>>18161994
You shouldn't encumber your girlfriend with your insecurities. The only reason you don't want her to be ogled by other men is because you're afraid they'll start competing against you for her affection and that you will lose her. She enjoys feeling sexy and desirable and if you were secure in your own self worth you would be fine with this.

>>18162092
I'd feel so uncomfortable wearing them again now. I don't really want to lower our standards for each other. I'd rather just be happy with each other. I know she'd resent me wearing a speedo as much as I resent a few of these dresses. I don't want us to both be upset, I'd rather us both strive to make each other happy in everything, including dress.

>>18162094
What does dressing "like a slut" even mean? I'm talking about pretty dresses, not all of those completely without cleavage because cleavage is just not an extreme thing in fashion. Among girls who walk around in leggings for trousers or miniskirts/bootyshorts, occasional regular cleavage doesn't exactly stand out.

>mental gymnastics to justify it
Why else would I wear it than because I like it?

>can't handle people criticizing you
I'm fine with you not liking it, just don't expect women to stop dressing up because you cannot believe they would like to look good for any other reason than to reel in random dick. And if you expect women to dress like OP outlined, you are going to be unhappy in Western societies.

>>18162108
Well then tell her that's how you feel, and that if you feel good dressing differently for her then she should too

Maybe try compromising a little bit? Like, instead of telling her to throw out her entire wardrobe, just tell her to dress modestly more often, or to stop it with the Instagram posts. There's middle ground here.

>>18162112
Thank you. I will look for middle ground.

>>18162108
I understand that, but you cannot change how she feels and in order for your compromise thing to work out, she should happily give up the dresses and it seems like that's not an option for her.

At the very least point it out to her that she has double standards if she doesn't want you to wear clothes that will get you more attention, but she does want to wear them herself. For the record I am the same anon arguing that there's a lot more to dressing up than fishing for attention, but it will happen more and she cannot reasonably deny that.

>>18162109
>bringing OP into this
Please, I already feel bad enough for coming to a Korean doll collecting forum for relationship advice

>>18162118
That's fair.

>>18162113
GL, OP. Just remember that if she doesn't understand the speedo argument or if she's not willing to compromise at all, that's a bad sign. Your argument is pretty reasonable and if she cares about you, she'll be willing to compromise

Stop being a little bitch and let her wear what she wants, you don't own her or the ability to control and change how she expresses herself.