Have any of you ever forgiven and forgotten someone who had sex

>broken up for 4 days

Dude, she "broke up" with you so she could rationalise cheating

>>18160121
>4 days
Just leave her. If she was willing to replace and return to you in less than a week, she's not for you.

In my eyes, she just cheated on you. You were broken up, but 4 days? Come on, anon.

>>18160121
She basically forced you to let her cheat on you. Drop her, you deserve better.

>>18160141
I broke up with her and was a complete dick and emotionally abusive to her. I sent her videos of me ripping our pictures and told her I moved on and will be talking to other girls and shit.

I'm not innocent in this but is what she did excusable? I was trying to fix us and begged her back the whole time.

>>18160568
She also started talking to guys and sending them nude pictures that same day I broke up with her.

>>18160763
Say goodbye to this girl, apologise and move on. Try better next time with another girl and try not to be 15yo but a little more mature.

>>18160871
She still wants me hard. She's been crying every single day for the past week nonstop begging for forgiveness saying how sorry she is. She's had 2 emptional breakdowns trying to say sorry and passed out during one of them

Lol you sent her a video of you cutting up your pictures... what song did you put on in the background, Sum41's Pieces?

>>18160890
You're just teaching her that she'll get what she wants as long as she cries about it, teach her to take responsibility for her actions by leaving her alone

>>18161027
I don't think you can fake the kind of crying she did man. Or passing out with mucus all over your face and tears and shit. I've never in my life seen anything like that before.

>>18161035
You both fucked it up beyond repair.
Leave on good terms and move on.
There's nothing to scrape here.
Abort relationship as soon as possible

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302KB, 371x386px

>>18160121

Here is the thing;

If you don't want your boyfriend or girlfriend to have sex with other people then don't break up, period. If them having sex while you were broken up is a deal breaker then don't get back together. Those are your only options.

If you weren't together then they have nothing to apologize for.

>>18160121

>4 days
>FOUR DAYS
>in that timespan fucked someone

No.

>>18161035

Women are natural actors. It's in their instinct.

>>18161066
I can't get the images of her being ravished by another man out of my head

Will it go away in time?

>>18161098

Was she a virgin before she met you? If no, then she's already been ravished.

>>18161100
Nope. The guy she fooled around with was actually a past hookup before me.

>>18161104

So she's already been ravished before. Who cares.

>>18161115
Care to elaborate and help me understand this physoclogy man

I know in simple concept that's true but it's hard to accept dude

>>18161126

I'm asking why is it only now you can't get the images of her being ravished by another man out of your head, when she's already been ravished before she met you, and even by the same dude.

>>18161140
I had trouble getting over her past even if it was only a few guys.... 5 before me. I was a virgin and shes the only girl I've ever been with. That's probably why. I'm young and inexperienced with relationships because this is my first. We've been dating for 16 months btw.

do you think what she did is fucked up? Is it cheating? And if not, doesn't it show character? She sent another guy nudes and shit 5 hours after we broke up but again, I was a complete dick to her when we broke up. I was emotionally abusive as shit to her and then I guess I took advantage of her begging me back to boost my ego.

>>18161146
And because it happened so soon... And while we were talking.. And while she said I do love you and stuff... And because we got back together that night and because she lied about all of this.

>>18161146

Yes I do think it is fucked up. 4 days is too short of a time to go fucking another guy. You're not entirely guilt-free, but she definitely fucked up.

>>18161163
Do you think this shit is do-able to become stronger from? I realized I fucked up by being an emotionally abusive dick who fake-broke up with her to boost my ego and I think she realized she fucked up too.

Thoughts?

>>18161171
legit fuck that, if you think you'd be fine about it happening again then go for round 2 but if you have serious feelings for her then it's probably best to just drop them now while it's easier. idk you're entire situation but what she did really does speak about her character. and you might think you're thinking objectively about this but chances are if it's happened once it will happen again if the opportunity presents itself. hate being that guy but seriously sounds like it'd be better if you just let her go and saved yourself the trouble man
whatever you decide to do just don't invest sincere trust. good luck

>>18161186
What do you mean if the opportunity presents itself? She put herself in that opportunity. The guys didn't iniate anythjng, she messaged first. She really does show genuine remorse - is that a good thing?

>>18161186
I love her so much and we've been everywhere togehter, it's hard to just let go

Don't forgive or you're the looser.
Just move to something else, if he/she thinks he can betray you once he'll try it again, and you'll just become his ground zero

>>18161098

>Will it go away in time?

Who knows. Maybe. The reality is that, as men, we struggle with our sense of self and our sense of masculinity. You and I both know that through the course of the day you feel a million urges and compulsions that are both rational and irrational and as we get older we use our experience and perspective to compartmentalize our emotions and behave appropriately.

When I was 16 I couldn't stand the thought that my girlfriend had ever kissed or touched another guy before me. It drove me mad with jealousy and anger and a million other emotions. Now I'm 35 years old and the thought of my wife having been with guys before me never crosses my mind because I've grown up. I've overcome my irrational feelings and learned to interpret them with the maturity I've built throughout the years.

Now, for all the red-pillers half-heartedly skimming through this post and itching to post "KEK" in response and give themselves a high five I'm not suggesting that you should be with a girl who doesn't respect you or herself. That's not what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is that when you feel something hit your gut like anger or jealousy or possessiveness you need to stop for a moment, put the situation into perspective and use your head because thats what growing and being an adult is. Use all the information available to you to make your decision, not just the first emotion that hits you.

Talk with your girlfriend. Spend some time reflecting and weighing your options. Don't make decisions when you're upset and in the throws of jealousy. Don't let the people's opinions of you shake you. Pause, think, then act. Thats the name of the game.

>>18161373
>Now I'm 35 years old and the thought of my wife having been with guys before me never crosses my mind because I've grown up

Are you sure it's because you've grown, and not because you've just become dulled and jaded to the point of admitting complacency?

>>18160121
No.

>>18161394
He is a cuck.

>>18161394

>Are you sure it's because you've grown, and not because you've just become dulled and jaded to the point of admitting complacency?

Yup. Positive. I have neither the time nor energy to dwell on shit that happened 20 years ago. It seems like a century ago now that I'm 35. I've been with my wife for 6 years and besides from the standard ups and downs I'm very happy with her.

One thing you'll learn as you get older is that people change in their lifetime, a lot. You'll turn 35 or 40 and look back at the person you were when you were a teenager and not even recognize yourself.

If we were all forever judged for the mistakes we made as children I don't know if any of us would be worthy of love. I know I wouldn't. I know my wife has been with other men before me. She dated for awhile and was engaged for a brief period and ended up breaking it off. I knew that when we first started dating. I never had any hang-ups about wanting some pure waifu who had never loved or lost before.

I prefer to live in the now. I'm happy with it. If that makes me a cuck or an old faggot or whatever, I'll take it. I'm fine with it. I understand your impulse to try to take someone else's happiness and invalidate it. I did the same thing when I was young because happy and content people in long term relationships irritated me. They had achieved something I hadn't so I did whatever i could to knock them off their pedestal.

Convincing yourself I'm living a lie won't help you get any further in life, anon. I'm just trying to use my experience to paint a small picture of what life is like farther down the road. The future can be really nice if you humble yourself long enough to learn from those who have been where you are going.

>>18161410
>I have neither the time nor energy to dwell on shit that happened 20 years ago.

That's exactly what dulled and jaded means, bro. So given the time and energy, you would dwell on it? You've just been beaten into submission.

Also asking, were you a were a virgin before your current wife?

>>18161394
The only sure thing here is that you're a virgin.

>>18161418

>That's exactly what dulled and jaded means, bro. So given the time and energy, you would dwell on it? You've just been beaten into submission.

Interpret it as you wish. I don't really care. Like I said, invalidating me won't validate you. I'm not sure why you find it so hard to believe that I'm happy in a functioning relationship but I can tell you that convincing yourself that a person in my position couldn't make life choices you disagree with and still be happy won't help you grow or learn. It won't give your mindset any more validity.

I have neither the time nor energy to dwell because I don't care. My wife and I have discussed our childhoods and our pasts and mutual mistakes and I'm ok with all of it. I always have been. Like I said, 20 years is a long time. You won't realize how long until you've experienced it.

Its funny because we often joke with each other that if we had met way back when we were 17 or 18 we probably wouldn't of liked each other. The mistakes we made informed us, taught us to be better people and lead us to where we are now. Where I am now is getting to sleep next to my wife and the mother of my children every night.

If "beaten into submission" means getting to be happy with the woman I love in our house with our daughter then sure, I'm beaten. Sounds good to me.

>Also asking, were you a were a virgin before your current wife?

No. Neither of us were. We've been married for 6 years and together for 9 1/2.

Having read the thread, OP, man, this one's on you. There's nothing to "forgive" here; I'm not saying that she acted perfectly, it PROBABLY would have been wiser for her to take some time to clear her head before going out and fucking an old hookup, but she didn't do anything really *wrong* exactly.

You did, though.

Some dudes end up marrying virgins, but most don't, and there's miles and miles of perfectly emotionally healthy territory between "untouched virgin" and "vile roastie whore" (which isn't something I'd personally ever call anyone, it's just how a lot of people on here talk). You really should listen to the married anon. Eventually you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that the love of your life will probably have slept with a couple other dudes before meeting you. If you want to make things work with THIS girl, then better get a move on. Either way you're gonna have to get used to that idea at some point.

>I broke up with her and was a complete dick and emotionally abusive to her. I sent her videos of me ripping our pictures and told her I moved on and will be talking to other girls and shit.
I know you're young, but that's ridiculous. Honestly dude, you're lucky she wants you back.

>>18161446

FOUR DAYS and she was on another guy's dick. Hell it wasn't even ONE DAY before she started messaging other guys and sending nudes.

>did nothing wrong

You're deluded, not OP btw.

>>18161494

>>18160121
I forgot alllll about my first girlfriend

>>18161837
It wasn't a break

>>18160121
Been there with the mother of my child.

Took a "break" after out relationship had been going backwards for a while.

During this break (lasted about 3 months) she met some other guy but she eventually decided that "I" was the one for her so we got back together again.

But I couldn't handle it, I know we were on a break and such and that we had an understanding that we could meet other people but... when it came down to it: I didn't, I wanted to fix our relationship and not start a new one.

Well, the guy she dated during this period was now gonna be her friend and I couldn't have that... told her off: "I don't like that idea at all" > "we're just friends" > "Ive never met the guy that accepts being friendzoned like this...trust me he has other intentions" > "Bullshit".

Short version: This turned into a big re-accuring fight and now she's together with him.

>>18161945
We weren't on a break, I broke up with her and said cruel shit to her then begged her back when she was giving me the cold shoulder

>>18161945

Fuck life is shit. Why can't true love exist, why can't loyalty exist.

Why are we just meandering existences with no one to truly love and grow old with.

>>18162021
>>18162024
Yeh Well, it's been a long time now (like 6 years) and it doesn't really brother me anymore.

We cooperate well on issues concerning our son an such.

My GF of 2 years cheated on me 4 months ago, I was devasted and somehow convinced her to continue seeing me as a gf for the last few months while I also dated others. Things were going well but out of the blue last week she said she wanted to break up and be free. Her first cheating meant she was done. She even begged for me back and the whole 9 yards.

At the end of the day we both cared about each other and didn't want the good stuff to be forgotten, but the relationship was done, it was both of our faults. My girl wound up seeing several other guys and all I could really do was try and get some puss, apologize for my past actions which caused her to do that, and tell her I want her to be happy while trying to see others. Time to move on whether ya want to or not

In the case of breaking up for 4 days and managing to fuck someone in that time span, absolutely not. Sounds like she wanted an excuse to be a degenerate hedonist.

I already have an extremely hard time being in a relationship with someone that's fucked someone prior to being with me. I mean I can maybe get over it if she feels guilty and understands she made the mistake of not waiting for the right person. But when it turns into the whole "it was a learning experience, it's my body, etc." - discarded.

>>18160121
>>18160568
When you're the type of person to send videos of you tearing up photos of her and she's the type of person to have sex with another person 4 days after ending a relationship, maybe, just maybe, you both need some work. And by that I mean finding out who you guys are and strengthening your psyches. Separately. Independently. Become your own person and then you're ready to enter a relationship with good will. Jheeesus Christ man. Sort yourself out.

>>18165727
Was this considered cheating? We were still texting and talking about meeting up and fixing things. Or is it just revenge sex?

>>18165783
Peterson?

>>18166011
My name is Peter Jordanson and it's the one and only identity I'm not willing to negotiate.

>>18160568
For anyone that missed it, op literally broke up with her first (in a horrible manner), said he'd pretty much be trying to do the same thing (getting with other girls) and admitted he's emotionally abusive. She didn't cheat on you faggot. If you want to get back together with a girl who has the audacity to get dicked 5 seconds after you broke up then go for it, but what she did wasn't cheating (even if it is slutty af, but desu you probably turned her into a whore by emotionally fucking her) so dont try to justify what you did like that. I'm sure it's possible to forgive in this situation, but you sound retarded as fuck and like you're obviously not going to based on the fact you're asking if what she did was excusable when you obviously think otherwise and just want strangers to agree with you (???) so dont bother and just send her another vid of you tearing up photos.

>>18165972
?

>>18166084
Bump

>>18166240
nig, bump what? OP is retarded. He got advice saying both him and his ex are damaged garbage and need to fix themselves before they get into any relationship, but he still pushes for his own perspective. He's looking for some sort of confirmation, not advice. Leave him be.

>>18161945

You probably already know this, but you were on the right man. You doged a bullet there

>>18161398
If they were in a relationship he would be.

Damn dude being a woman must rock, id love to have a little whipped slave like you kek

>>18167740
It looks like it is be other way around here.