Been lurking here for 8+ more yrs. Story short: been in love

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Been lurking here for 8+ more yrs.
Story short: been in love with one single girlf for over 6 years & never been with "her" only as friends nor gifts nor anything helped.
Even when was in relationship with other girl thought of her all the time yet it ended 3 years after and all seemed somewhat Ok.
But now this thing just popped again, how to fucking live now again I have no idea this shit became paranoidal for me.
Even when we are together at parties or like so everyone says as it was ment for us to be together, yet it is not. She has changed bf's multiple times, not including me.
And that fucking feeling like you feel that this is your person is just killing you, any adviced anons?

Bait pic