Alright /adv/ I don't know if anyone can help me out here but I need some input. So I have sole and physical custody of my son... His mom didn't show up to court so it was defaulted to me. She moved to do and is coming to visit her daughters family next week. She asked if she could have our son while she's here. Visitation was dismissed so she doesn't have anything per court order. My family doesn't want me to let her visit him.... Now he's old enough to remember things now and I don't want him to remember me not letting him see his mom. She also asked if she could keep him overnight. My parents don't agree to it because they think she might try to hurt him and blame it on me. Anyone has gone through this situation? Also, forgot to mentioned she's staying at the parents of the dude she cheated on me with and got pregnant by.... While we were divorced.
>>18158516
She moved to Florida...
>>18158516
Good parents dont go and cheat on their partners. And if you think children are super stupid who needs to be protected from "life" then you are mistaken.
Ask your son if he wants to see some woman he has never seen before in 2days trip. It doesnt matter she is his biological mom if she never acted like that.
And once he asks you where his mom is, tell him how his mom didnt even bothered to show up at court. Telling lies to kids to protect them from bad feelings is shortsighted.
Personally I would not allow it.
>>18158547
My mistake, I guess I forgot to mentioned we were together for 6 years before she cheated, our son knows who she is. He turned 4 when she took off to FL last year in October
>>18158516
I absolutely wouldn't, but that's because I'm a petty, vindictive shit and I really hate adultery.
As a father, you don't have that luxury. You have a responsibility to be the bigger person.
That doesn't necessarily mean you have to let her see him. It does mean you have to honestly ask yourself: SHOULD you let her see him? Your only consideration should be, what's better for your son?
If you leave him alone with her (I wouldn't, based on what you've said) is he going to be safe with her? If you let him see her, but with you supervising, i.e. lunch or something, is it going to be a positive experience or a traumatic one for him? Will he enjoy seeing his mom or will he just learn that mom and dad hate each other?
Regardless of what you decide, I absolutely would not let her keep him overnight, and if I let her see him I would at the very least make it clear that I was going to remain close by, if not directly supervising.
>>18158570
Listen to this one anon
NO, NO, NOO
>>18158570
Thanks for your advice, it something I will have to think about. I re-read my post and I meant to say she cheated on me while we were still married and she would go to the dudes house and spend time with his parents sister and sister... So my mistake. But it's something I will have to think about a lot. Actually, since she's found out I was awarded custody she's told me he's not even biologicallymine and that she will get him back. I've been with him since day one, since he was just born. I am his father legally and I will take care of him. I love him. She's threatened me that she will have court force me to take a DNA test and once it comes out negative she will take him from me... Her claims. Her own sister tells me she's bull shitting and not to listen to her crap...
>>18158721
She sounds like a giant cunt that your son does not need in his life. Take him fishing or something other that is fun instead. It will be a much better memory for him.
>>18158721
She sounds terrible. Only seems interested in the kid to get back at you, I would cut her out to be honest. If you leave him alone with her, she's probably going to try and convince him that you're a monster or something.
>>18158516
>>18158721
Do NOT let her spend time alone with the kid. There's a decent chance that she will literally try to steal him and run away with him. Those mother-instincts could kick in even if she's not actually fit to be a good mother.
You don't have to assume the worst, but be prepared for it. If you do want to meet her, meet up for lunch at a restaurant or something, all three of you. Don't agree to let her keep him overnight.
>>18158516
claim that he has something busy that night, some big mondo sleep over, but offer for all three of you to go to some place to catch up, maybe like 'we shoudl take him to chuckie cheese'
treat her like shes some long lost friend you havent talked to in forever. then just play as nice as possible, even if it drives oyu insane.
this iwll help you gauge what kind of person she is for next time.
She will turn him into a hostage situation, and the family law court will treat this behavior as fair play. Non-custodial mothers will randomly make desperate grabs at children just because the children are seen as a source of free money.
do
not
give
one
single
inch
>>18158721
>biologicallymine
Can I ask you, does this not make you like take the dna test yourself? I mean it would bother me personally.
>>18159767
I'm.gonna be honest, I don't think about it. I love my son and that's all it matters, court will see I've been with him since day 1, I signed his birth certificate and he carries my last name. Her OWN sister is telling me she's bsing. His mom knows that's the only way she can hurt me because of what Happened with the baby she had while we were still "together" she told me the ba y was mine, I took care of her while she was pregnant and did all I could..After we separated I DNA tested the baby and came out negative and she saw how bad it got me. Also, my son has special Pre-K classes for his speech delay and his teacher visits twice a month at home. I talked to her about the situation and she told me she would go to court if needed and speak on how I take care of him, he lives in a safe and loving environment, and that she will do all she can to help me. I guess at this point all that matters is that I love him.