Guys, I've been through a breakup and I wanna get my life

>>18153645
First, you are NOT pathetic for being in mourning for a break-up. It is the sane, natural, normal response.

I can only tell you what I've done in similar situations. First, force yourself to carry on as normal a life as possible. Routine can be a good distraction, and it will make you feel better about yourself to prove that you can still function.

Second, take every opportunity offered you to have a social (not just romantic) life. Accept invitation to join people for dinner or a movie, go to parties, etc.

And third, you can paradoxically take some comfort from your pain itself. Having a broken heart is evidence you have a heart to break, and everyone sometimes wonders just how much emotional depth they have.

>>18153771

That last point is very true. For so long, I wondered if I actually had the ability to love.

Here's a question though: How do you carry on, when so much of your life reminds you of her?
Like, almost everything I do reminds me of her, no matter how trivial.

don't put your memories with her under a rug

be grateful for the good parts, acknowledge the other ones

in the meantime go be functional again

time heals everything

>>18153822
I was saying this about my ex to a close friend a few weeks ago. How the fuck do you wipe somebody from the forefront of your min after they've been there for years and years?

It just happens. It really does. I was with my ex partner for 4 and a half years, and after a few weeks of no contact, they slowly fade away. You still think about them several times throughout the day, obviously, but they stop being be first and only thing on your mind. It's just because they aren't in your life anymore, and so the other things take priority.

If I think of something that makes me sad I will stop and force myself to think of something else happening in my life. I haven't had to do it too often though.

>>18154378
I was with her for 5-6 months, but she was literally my first.

It's hurting so far, but now I'm slowly coming to terms with it. The no contact part is true, I was actually getting my shit together, then they got back in touch, so you can imagine how I reacted emotionally.

It's just that I find myself so fucking bored nowadays. Maybe I'm lethargic or whatever, but I really need to get myself back on track.

>>18154446
My ex was my first everything too, even kiss. Every time he speaks to me it pushes me back into a really shitty place, so I've decided I'm just going to delete the messages and not reply from
now on. Gotta do whats best for me.

3 weeks ago I couldnt get out of bed to eat or shower or go to school. I've pushed myself out of that stage now, but I totally get the lethargy thing. I'm normally an early bird, and I still can't drag myself out of bed before 10am now.

We'll get there, I'm personally getting way better already. Just gotta keep pushing and focusing on the other shit in your life.

>>18154446
Anon, I found myself in your position a few years back, I was blind by the love I had for her and for the first year or so it was rough, really rough.

My suggestion to you would be to move, change everything in your life that can be associated with thoughts/memories of the past.

I have been with girls after the breakup but never to that same level, I tend to subconsciously make them dislike me before it can get to that stage.

You ARE strong and time WILL heal everything. Are you interested in philosophy at all? Because after a long time that is eventually how I came to terms with life in general.

>>18154549
We'll get there. Eventually, lol

Hey, hang in there though. If they were the one's then they'd be with us, right?

>>18154573
Dude, I am SUPER interested in philosophy. Care to share your endeavors with it?

>>18154593
My thing at the moment is the Simulation argument/theory, having looked into the Fermi Paradox and other ideas I seem to always come back to it. Nick Bostrom at Oxford university has a fair old bit to say on the subject I suggest watching him if your not into reading.

It helps me cope desu and look at the world in a different eye... Even had some decent threads here on 4chan about the subject, talking to some very intelligent and wise anons.

I would only advise you not to get too bigoted in your mind about it and try not to view yourself as superior to others for having a better perspective on life once you overcome what you are thinking at the moment..

I dont know what it is about love but let me tell you straight up anon, it blinds you and will turn you stupid... Forget about her... Trust me

>>18154615
I have no idea why it turns T.B.H into desu, but it always seems to do that now.. wtf

>>18154615

I love philosophy and I consider myself smart, but I've never studied the stuff, especially in a school environment.

Could you perhaps impart some wisdom as to where to begin?

T B H (desu lol) talking about philosophy and stuff is among my favourite things to do, but you are right, you gotta make sure it doesn't go to your head. In the end we are mere mortals.

>>18154615
>>18154619
>>18154673

Also, to follow your point on the simulation argument, I always figured that we'd have found a "glitch in the matrix" by now. Every videogame and simulator built by us has some sort of glitch - No matter how well built, people find them in the end.

If we were though, we'd at least confirm the existence of God to a degree - Not necessarily a deity but at least a creator. That's kind of comforting, because otherwise it's a near-incomprehensible reality that we are literally here by pure chance. However, being in a simulation would also mean we have no actual purpose - We could seek pleasure, contentment and self-fulfillment, but in the end it all means nothing, especially when you consider that the simulation probably has no concept of heaven or afterlife.