My bf gets upset when I don't want sex. Recently, my sex drive has fallen I used to want to have sex daily or more but now I'm fine if I go a few days without sex. Anyway, my bf now gets super upset when I reject sex he accuses me of not loving him, or cheating on him, or not finding him attractive, etc. The thing is, its not like he has never rejected sex before, he actually used to be the only one to ever reject it up until a month ago. There was actually a time frame of like 5 months when he would only have sex with me once a week or even go longer without it. His sex drive has kinda gone up recently but mine has gone down.
I told him that I've been very stressed/that sex has been painful for me lately due to an underlying health condition. He understands when hes not horny but the second he gets horny he gets really upset. What is his problem? How do I stop him from acting this way when I reject him sexually? Again, I don't reject him often or make him go an outrageous amount of time without sex...but he still seems so upset by it.
Surely you can try talking to him about your feelings instead of asking us.
Anyways, from what you say he sounds like an idiot and a hypocrit, and I would drop him if he continued to pull shit like this.
>>18145331
I have tried talking to him and his only response to me asking why he is upset is the list I have given, accusing me of things. Plus he's fine when he isn't horny and seems to understand....the second he is horny though he just seems to forget of any conversation I've had with him previously and is too anger to actually listen to anything I say at that moment.
>>18145341
I had a girlfriend who would accuse me of being unfaithful when I wasn't feeling it. Give you three guesses as to what I found out about her.
But you can't actually know that right now. Hope you haven't cosigned a lease with him because it sounds like you gotta get out.
>>18145341
I'm sorry there's just not much to help you with here. It sounds like you've tried talking about it before and he's just let your words pass through both ears.
How long have you been together?
>>18145311
he feels unwanted. this is a pretty awful feel.
source: experience
>>18145359
2 years
>>18145372
So you obviously don't want to break things off because it's been a decent amount of time, but you're having trouble and it's making you think of the possibility of ending it and finding someone more compatible with your needs?
>>18145364
Ignore this person
>>18145381
Yeah, I feel like this isn't something that is break up worthy, especially since we love each other and romantically lately I feel as if we have grown a lot closer together. I am not sure if this is any correlation as to why he may be acting this way but I have caught him flirting with girls from his work via texts and girls online. We almost broke up because of this but settled things and really I feel like we have become closer... This would be the only reason as to me thinking of leaving him. Also, the fact that he gets very aggressive when he is angry and its kinda scary.
That's not good...have you considered he may be fucking someone else?
>>18145400
If my SO was flirting with other girls and then stopped, I would be very alarmed, because that would show me he has the behaviour in him - talking to him about it, in general, won't remove that behaviour.
I get the physical intimidation part, just make sure you're aware that this could be influencing your decision.
You're close, you've grown closer lately, and you want to keep making an effort. That's great, but just try to be aware that things like flirting behind your back...they're not fixed by talking about it. They're built into them and often take big emotional trauma/realisations to remove.
>>18145400
Sex is very important for certain people because of their chemical, you either accept him having sex with other girls or you help him release.
I have a girlfriend that I love more than anything and she didn't have sex with me for months, I don't feel like cucking her and I don't want either to break up with her, still I started to hate everything and even though I love her as an absolute priority, it's a very little priority because anything else is pretty shitty for me.
I often feel angry as well because of the chemical in my brain, but I am intelligent enough to direct this anger towards nothing, this makes me feel about nothing more, my disinterest increase and since I am a man of absolute principle I can't make a personal interest my priority or I would just break up with her.
>>18145400
>>18145422 continue
I also have had the same less sexual drive when accepted and the higher sexual drive when rejected.
Hearing this from an anon makes just understand how much biological my problem is and it makes me sick that she doesn't give a shit, so I'll guess I wont give a shit the same.
Equality ^_>^
>>18145422
I don't go months without having sex with him, I used to try having sex with him daily. Lately, despite my decreased sexual feelings due to stress/illness I try not to let us be without sex more than 3 days. I basically even try to have sex even if I don't particularly feel like it so I can make him happy but at times its way too painful to suck it up and continue. I do love sex and I love sex with him so this is devastating for me too. I just don't like getting yelled at, anger directed towards me, and being accused that I hate him/am cheating on him and him not listening to me.
>>18145311
Unless you have "underlying health conditions" for your mouth and hands as well, get to work.
Have you talked to him about his anger (at some neutral time when you aren't fighting), and told him it scares you?
If there's no way for him to walk away before that point (take a drive, go do something else, whatever) maybe you should just try counseling, so there's another person to intervene in your talks.
I'd say both of these
>>18145485
>>18145463
after you settle his apparent anger issues then you should compromise because other than that, it's not too ridiculous of a request. either that or break up with him but that's meme advice at this point because no one ever follows it anyway.
Married femanon here. When my husband is horny and I'm not, I'll usually give him a handjob to help him out. However, he's also understanding if I'm too tired to do that.
The fact that your bf gets angry is pretty worrying, to be honest. If he won't compromise, then you really have a problem. Be brave and try to talk him down when he's upset. Stay calm and remind him of your discussion earlier.
>>18145463
I was about to post that
I understand that he's being unfair and a hypocrite to you, but seriously, won't he calm down if you just blow and/or jerk him to oblivion?
Me and my gf had times when we couldn't do PiV, but it didn't stop us from doing everything else. Quite the contrary, we end up more horny and doing more stuff to compensate.
You got him feenin'
https://youtu.be/clyLMJT479A
If you cant give a handjob you shouldnt be with him
Are you dating my ex? Seriously. That little fuck would always get super offended if I denied sex; saying I was cheating on him and even went as far as to demand that I show him a live feed of my house to prove that no one was there.
This is a serious RED FLAG, girl.
Leave.
Him.
Now.
>>18145724
This post needs to be burned into the eyelids of every single person siding with OP in this thread.
>>18145463
Came here to post this