24 years old. Became depressed in high school, not truly becoming aware of it until years later. Eventually I pursued a master's degree in computer engineering but made no real friends and more or less stopped going to classes. Three years later, I am struggling with my studies.
Last year I finally sought help and has undergone treatment. I am now hopeful that I will recover in the near future. But this entails reconsidering my life choices during the last 5 years. Engineering (I would likely specialize in software) was never a passion and I fear I'm becoming increasingly disinterested by it. I considered it something I could do decently well with enough pay for a comfortable life. My "lifelong dream" however is filmmaking and as clarity returns I find myself picking up photography as a hobby again and watching more films. Without going into the details of how to make it as a filmmaker, I feel that if I don't pursue this in some form I will die regretful. Simultaneously I feel a genuine interest in the kind of physical and mental disorders that invisibly affect people and I feel like research in this field would be a way to reconcile with this period of my life. But this would entail starting over on a completely new degree.
During my years of being deprived of well-beingand pleasure, the only thing that made sense was more philosophical truth and beauty. I would dream of the day that I would be able to live with clarity and in accordance with my highest ideals. It's like the only way I can achieve reconciliation is to bring something of value with me from these dark years and let them define me in some sense.
Next month I will be 25 years old and I have no idea whether to finish my degree or do something else. Does anyone have any thoughts on this or similar experiences?
tldr?
>>18142276
I'll be real with you. How much time do you have left on the computer engineering degree? Did thou have a bachelor's in it yet?
>>18142400
Do you *
Sorry, I'm a dumb phoneposter
>>18142276
I've been through a similar spot. It is difficult to balance the necessary practical things with our wants and desires. If I were you, if you have a semester or two left on the engineering degree then power through it and get it done. I'm almost done with my mathematics degree at 24, it is a drain on my soul, but I love photography and the arts. At the meanwhile, keep going with photography and film as a hobby. Surround yourself with likeminded people in the film of photography and film (which is what I've done) and try to spend as much time around them and around your hobby without it affecting your grades too much. Afterwards, do what you really want to do. Experiment, have fun, struggle, and eventually find yourself and find what fulfills you. Finish what you started, and dont be afraid to try new things. You still have your whole life ahead of you. Be strong OP.
>>18142429
Same guy here, but seriously OP I read your post and I can't help but feel the exact same way. Our ages, our struggles, our dreams practically match. Just look forward and don't worry yourself about things.
>>18142400
>>18142429
Two years until I can get my master's, at the least. Where I live engineers generally don't take bachelor's degrees, but it is an option. It's not considered especially highly though. I don't know if non-engineering master's are available to me, I should look into it.