TL:DR my gf changes her behavior a lot in social situations and

bump . halp

>she was like 'oh! where's anon gone? We've lost anon.' a few times. Then later when we got home she was like 'oh anon is a really cool guy' .

Sounds like she wants to bang anon, you're her bf, she should be talking about you like that not another dude

I don't think it was quite that serious but yeah it just gets to me how women operate sometimes.

I'm sure some people are going to take it too seriously, but yeah, the part where she was asking about the other guy repeatedly, that would bug me. The difference between you and I is I would call her out on it. "Hey why do you keep talking about this other guy? I'm the guy you should be worried about. It wouldn't bother you if I kept asking about some cute girl, and talking about how cool she was? We both know it would. Don't talk about other guys to me. I don't care about hearing that kind of crap. I'm not gay so I don't care about other dudes. Or do you want me to be gay now and talk about how cool he was with you? Well I'm not gonna, so knock it off".

You need to learn not to second guess yourself. If you thought of saying it, it's because you believed it's something that should be said. Do not filter yourself so often. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission, so just say it and apologise for voicing your feelings of you have to. Only a bully/cunt would attack you for voicing your concerns about this relationship you want to succeed.

Most importantly, don't be afraid to double down with your convictions. If she thinks you're wrong "well we aren't going to see eye to eye on everything we ever do, forever, so just respect that I don't like you blabbing on about other guys. I'm not asking for anything from you that I'm not also giving you. When do I blabber on about other girls? Just do for me what I do for you and we'll be fine".

>>18141172
thanks for this thoughtful reply.

Yeah, the only reason i filtered myself was because she was a bit drunk and I wasn't. If anything like it happens again i'll remember this advice and speak my mind.

>>18141172
Honestly, this sound like one of the most passive aggressive ways to respond.

If something is making your uncomfortable, you do need to talk to her. But cut out all the unnecessary bull. Especially the whole accusatory tone and the "do you want me to be gay" bit, stuff like that. That just sounds so childish.

And OP, I understand being insecure, but while this behavior made you uncomfortable and that should be addressed, it also doesn't seem to me like she crossed any line that would be a problem if you were secure in yourself.

The problem isn't her paying attention to another person, not really. Because if you were secure in your relationship and in her love for you, this wouldn't bother you, because you'd know that she values you over other people, and her talking to or about another guy doesn't devalue you or your relationship.

People are going to find other people interesting or attractive. That side of you doesn't just turn off. But in a strong relationship, you will still be the top. You have her, you've already won.

The fact is that the only reason that this is a problem is because you're insecure. But why are you insecure? Do you doubt her love because of her behavior? Or is it a problem with your own perception of yourself. Do you see yourself as having so little value that if she so much as thinks about another guy, even in a non-sexual tone, you're under threat?

There's a compromise here. She should be aware of your feelings and try to avoid stuff that makes you uncomfortable but you also can't go about restricting her interaction with people. That sort of controlling behavior will strain the relationship and could even spell its doom.

Talk to her and help her understand where you are coming from, but you also need to put in work to address the source of your insecurity. You need to take the risk of trusting her. If she's a good person and a good partner, she won't break that trust. If she does, then she's the asshole.

>>18141250
cheers, this is also good advice.

You are right. I think i have some self esteem issues desu.. and also she has a job at the mo and i don't so there's that too which is putting pressure on my 'manliness' so to speak.

>>18141250
>you've already won
I've heard this line from several women and it's a load of shit. You've only ever "won" temporarily, you have to keep proving yourself in a relationship or else they'll drop you for the better guy (unless you are the best guy around, which lets face it no one on 4chan is).

>>18141349
Take it from a married anon. If you have to keep proving yourself, then chances are it's not a great relationship.

Yes it's going to take work. There's going to be some disagreements. Things won't always be easy. But proving yourself all the time? if that's necessary, you're trying to patch up something that is already falling apart.