This is my first relationship and I also have BPD so I'm

God bless you for your patience

>>18137613
You have BPD, huh? I thought that included very low tolerance for bullshit. How haven't you flipped out yet?

>>18137677
I have a few times and I get extremely angry when he goes back on his word but I really try not to let it get to me incase he actually is sick.

But I'm at the point now where I'm extremely lonely and I really just want someone to hang out with. I don't know what to do.

>>18137716
Well, if it's as you say and ALWAYS does this, at best he's a pathological liar with commitment issues (can't commit to a simple meeting, ffs), at worst he doesn't care enough about you to feel even a little obliged to you.

Has he always been this way? Or is this recent? Can he possibly be giving his time to someone else? Is he depressed and lacks motivation? Or is he just a night person that has trouble waking up early?

You'd have more insight as to which is most likely.

>>18137735
No, he hasn't always been like this, it's only been happening the last few months, the year leading up to this happening we spent almost all our time together.

I highly doubt he's spending time with someone else because he still spends all his money on me even though I've said I don't care about money.. I just want to spend time with him more.. and again I don't think so? He normally has no issues getting up and he has depression but it's never been a big issue and he hasn't mentioned anything to me even when I've said I want to talk about it.

My illness really stops me from seeing clear signs and I don't know. I told him if he's going to bail on me at least say something to me like 'Hey I'm feeling sick, not going to hang out today' but he always leaves it after I've been waiting 10+ hours for him. Idk.

>>18137613
Are you sure you aren't exaggerating?

Like, every day of the week every month he'll tell you he'll wake up early to spend time with you and then he doesn't?

>>18137746
He only does it when I angry at him and talk to him about it, once he does it for 1 day he's back to bailing on me and we maybe spend 1-2 days a week together?

>>18137613
This is a frustrating problem for me as well except he required a lot of alone time. Turned out he was banging other chick's behind my back (found some random girl's thong in his living room). Look for red flags, OP. BPD or not, it's got to feel right. It appears to me he only spends time with you when it benefits him. Spoiling you for sex, maybe.

>>18137781
He really doesn't seem like the type to cheat on me, but I don't know what else it is :/

He msged me just now and said "Sorry but today just isn't my day I just want to be alone" that's fine and all, but I wish he would tell me this.. 10 hours ago.. so I don't have to sit here alone and waiting.

>>18137783

I had a friend whose boyfriend would do this. It was really, really strange. She'd be desperate to see him, would ask him if he was free and he wouldn't get back to her until it was too late for them to do anything anyway. If she got upset, he would tell her that he thought she was coming over anyway - more or less gaslighting her.

Perhaps you need to sit him down and have a calm discussion with him. Explain how this is making you feel and the effect you feel it is having on your relationship. If it makes you feel more calm, write down your points before you talk to him and refer back to it each time, to avoid getting mad.

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>>18137783
Try doing the same thing to him and see how he reacts. Wait for him to initiate plans and casually blow him off. Let him chase you. Guys are dicks sometimes I swear.

>>18137794
Thank you for your advice, I always try and write my emotions down lately because I have a hard time distinguishing what is okay in a relationship and what isn't.

I just want to sit at home all day and play games with him ;-;

>>18137798
Seems like he wants to sit at home all day and play games with your mind......