>tfw no one told me that getting a gf is basically a full

>>18133884
Ha. Don't expect to gain any wealth once you've landed a gf. Bitches cost money, yo. Do what you gotta do. Whether that's getting your dick wet or saving any disposable income to invest in your future.

>>18133884
OP are you seriously pissed off that you're just now discovering that self-improvement is hard?

If you're doing all of this shit just because you think it'll eventually lead to having your dick sucked, no, it is absolutely not worth it.

If, however, you recognise that it will lead you to becoming a more self-satisfied, confident, educated, healthy, autonomous person, then it is 100% worth it. AND, as a fucking BONUS, you will become more sexually attractive.

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>>18133884

>tfw no one told me that getting a gf is basically a full time job

It is if you're a fucking weeb. I have not the slightest clue how interacting with and attracting women can swallow your entire day.

>This takes up basically all my time. Is it even worth it

Seems to me like you're spending all your time trying to polish a turd; thinking that a bunch of decorations and adornments are going to be an adequate substitute for an actual personality.

Watch your plan backfire when a hipster in homemade pants and 12$ in his bank account swoops in and steals your girlfriend because he has authentic confidence, not just a random collection of premeditated status symbols and dating memes.

Doesn't matter how many high end parts you build yourself with, you'll still be a robot.

>>18133921
Agree with most except the hipster part...

If anything hipsters are the kind to decorate themselves with pointless expensive bullshit to look 'unique'

You sound like a boring human being who lives to impress others. Work on that and maybe a girl would want to date you.

>>18133884
Are you actually interesting, funny and confident on a date? She wants a good experience, and good feelings. That other shit is important but secondary to your personality

>>18133909

pretty much this OP. what you described is just called being a normal functioning human being.

with the exception of learning a language of course, i have never met a woman that cared that i didnt know a second language, frankly its not something ive ever been asked before actually getting with a woman.

also, how much time does it take to plan a vacation for yourself? and on top of that, how is that supposed to somehow help you get a girlfriend?

>>18133884

dont try so hard. the cheeviest, gronkiest Berts and Ernies out there can get women and so can you. the trick is knowing that ANY woman would be lucky to have you, even if its not really true.

money, friends, and intellect are great but what you really need is to forgive & love yourself

I have the same core problem as OP.

However, I have came to the opposite conclusion which is why I do absolutely nothing to attract girls. But if I'm naturally boring and impassionate, then what the fuck do I do? Is it just the perception of myself holding me back?

>>18134203

>naturally boring and impassionate

you need some self-love my man. the best way to convince a girl to like you is to show her how much YOU like you

>>18133884
It's a full time job for a little while. The first year in particular. Then the newness wears off and you both settle back into your unique habits and routines. You have some new ones together, but you go back to being independent people. That's if you are doing relationships correctly, and chose a suitable partner. If you chose a clinger or crazy person, you're right--you can kiss your free time goodbye, because they will suck every ounce of energy from you.

But that's why it's important to be discerning with your partner. Don't pick one who shows signs of clinginess or a lack of independence. Find a girl who is just as busy as you, and you'll both be fine after you get through the honeymoon stage of the relationship.

>>18133884
I haven't been in a relationship in about 7 years now but I can say that none of this is "required" to get a girlfriend. I know guys with no cars and min wage jobs who date women easily. Me on the other hand, people look and say "you are good looking/have a lot going for you so I don't see why you can't find someone"

A lot of the stuff behind attraction is odd shit that you either wouldn't think of, or wouldn't want to be real. What actually draws many people in is when you have a likeness to their parents, your face looks close to theirs, you seem like you meet some unmet emotional need or you just click.

Being open and getting yourself out there is pretty important too. You need confidence. Some people stay with their high school sweetheart forever. Others take decades to find someone. You might just have had bad luck. You're never going to be perfect so stop thinking you must be in order to find a girl who likes you.

i go my own way but a lot of that list, reading, exercise, dressing well, and studying languages are things that just benefit you and seems like they're worth doing

travel is absolutely a meme though
for travel to actually "expand you horizons" or some shit you'd have to be a massive yokel rube

If your doing those things just to get a girlfriend, your wasting your time.

For starters if you are unattractive your fighting an uphill battle. You don't really need a great personality depending on the girl, you just need to be confident and not autistic. There are plenty of women who just date assholes

Also actually having money doesn't mean anything. If something is actually important it's just a perception of having money.

I know girls who are dating college dropouts and guys with no future whatsoever. Women don't care about you actually doing any of that shit, they just want someone who is good with small talk and can impress them.

Honestly just try to meet as many women as possible and get good at just conversation and flirting. Then just do whatever you would do anyway with all that free time you just got back

>>18134339
Not that guy but where am I supposed to meet girls? I just got a job as a host at a restaurant, so maybe something can come from that. I hang out with my friends, but all my down time is after work when it's like 10pm, so no where is even open. 19 btw

Should I just go back to trying faggot dating sites

>>18134415

make friends with people who have friends. go to parties (not dumbshit ones but chill ones). meet girls that get along with the people you get along with

>>18134421
Biggest problem is I don't drink or smoke, or use any kind of substance. I like in fucking Colorado so everyone and their grandma smokes weed, which I'm definitely not interested in. I'm so straight edge that people react like I told them I killed their parents, in complete shock and awe.

It ain't easy having principles.

>>18134448

>It ain't easy having principles

lol, fuck off. just tell people you cant smoke anymore because you had a bad trip, and that you dont want to talk about it.

>>18134465
I don't want to surround myself with "friends" that have views about a topic I'm very decided on.

It's like if your friend started eating toe nails in front of you, and you're like dude, the fuck are you doing. Then they offer you some toe nails and you just don't understand why the

>>18134474

gotcha, youre a judgmental prick. have fun being a foreveralone

>>18134481
>Judgmental prick

Because they do things I disagree with, I distance myself from them? So if a guy fucks a child or dog, do you just say "WELL YOU CANT BE JUDGMENTAL DUDE CMON"

If you somehow do say that, then fair enough. But I'm willing to bet you don't.

>>18134212

>you need some self-love my man

Different anon, but that is a concept that is beyond me. I feel like I'm incapable of understanding what that feels like.

>>18134488

>implying ingesting chemicals is equivalent to pedophilia/bestiality

the thing about drugs is that its just YOU taking them. youre not forcing anyone else to be high. if me doing what I want with my body & my life is something you "disagree" with, then i dont have fucking time for you.

protip, if you sit on your hand before you jerk off it almost feels like another person is touching it. i assume youll probably use this trick a few hundred times in your sad, pathetic excuse of a life.

>>18134497

i get that. it can be hard at first. the world has conditioned you into thinking that you need to change yourself to suit its needs. the reality is the opposite. you only get 1 shot at life and everyone who is anyone, literally EVERYONE who actually gets what they want out of life had to struggle for it.

loving yourself is step 1 of the battle. you are the only person youll always be around. you need to believe that you are worth it because if you dont, who will?

its not only natural to be your own advocate, its imperative. you DESERVE the things you want, but youll only get them if YOU fight for it.

the things you like are worth liking by virtue of being liked by you. dont let the opinions of others tell you how or who to be. do and feel what comes naturally to you and dont be apologetic about it

>>18134498
Seems I struck a nerve with your candy ass. Do you get triggered because you can't fathom the concept of someone else not loving drugs, friend?

I can play the reverse game too. Because you use drugs, you are a degenerate to society and you set a bad example and a low standard for anyone anywhere. But I'm sure you wouldn't know that, seeing as your perception of life has been so fucked by all the years of substance abuse.

Your dependency on substances only show you are a weak person, and you require drugs to function because without them you are nothing. I may be lonely forever, but at least I know I don't have to rely on a drug to make me happy.

>>18134504

>its not only natural to be your own advocate, its imperative. you DESERVE the things you want, but youll only get them if YOU fight for it.

What if I don't want anything?

>>18134512
The other dude is being sensitive for some reason. I smoke a lot of weed and have friends who don't at all. I understand why they don't and it's cool with me and I expect them to also be cool with my usage.its not a good idea to mingle only with stoners though if you aren't one because it's like you're forcing yourself to be something else almost, and some stoners do seem to try and peer pressure.

But you don't need to be a stoner to use weed. You can use it without becoming dependent. Similarly to alcohol there is a difference between use and abuse. Most stoners like me are abusing weed and know it but a lot of weed smokers aren't stoners.
So I'm trying to say that if you do smoke weed or drink a couple times with a girl to chill, you haven't automatically become a druggie.

Colorado seems pretty cool though. Go hiking in that beautiful nature and invite a female coworker or something.

Also, I'll swap places with you. Come to the UK and I'll go to colorado and we both win :)

>>18134543
It's not about being a druggie, it's the problem of people getting roped in and pressured to do it, and they are weak for it.

Shit, I really liked a girl, but she said she smoked weed constantly, and she just said everyone does it, and after that it made me reevaluate my opinion of her.

Fact is, I've seen too much damage done by any kind of drug, shit my brother dealed drugs in high school, and ended up nearly dead in a crack house. Believe it or not weed is a gateway drug, it always has been, and in Colorado I see it quite often. Meet a person, they start smoking, 3 months laters it's pills and so on. This isn't true all the time, but like I said, it's about people easily getting roped in to it because others do it, it makes you weak because you can't think for yourself. Gotta be "cool" and "hip" so they don't think you're a square, right?

>>18134553
Yeah I get where you're coming from. In my case I wasn't pressured by anyone, a friend offered to smoke it with me, I had researched it a lot and decided to try it, liked it, and I started reading loads about weed and inevitably started using it more regularly because I liked it and it wasn't having any bad effects. But I can still say that I'm not without fault and I have used weed to numb myself from daily life for a period of time though it wasn't always like this. I know if I didn't use weed to waste my time and numb my feelings I would be doing it playing video games instead though.

I guess I am kinda weak desu with my 'need' to numb myself from life but I chose to smoke weed myself and almost every time I smoke it's by myself with uncommon exceptions.

However I'm far from cool and hip and most people don't even know the magnitude of my weed use never mind the fact that I even use drugs so I might just be a special case.

>>18134563
Fair enough man, I'm glad you're aware of the situation you're in.

Like I said, gotta stick by your own code, and I feel like eventually I'll find a girl that feels the same way I do. Who would of thought that being a straight edge is more uncommon than taking drugs in this day and age.

She's out there somewhere, I suppose. That's why I was saying going back to fag online dating, because I've lost a bunch of weight and my acne looks better, so maybe I might have some success this go around. On the other hand, I've been told many times on here that it's bad, specifically the copy pasta that gets posted constantly. But what am I supposed to do, honestly? I'm a very social person, I just never was in "that" scene with parties and shit, it just doesn't feel right.

>>18133921
win

>>18133884
women will also take all your money. mommy may have got me tendies when I was young, but I sure as hell don't give her my card because I did that onve and she went on a spending spree.
gf will ruin everything desu. get yourself a qt trap that loves to service you, but can also be a bro.