How do I stop loving my boyfriend so much? Do I need to? It's

Stop listening to other females and be open with your bf. Don't listen to reddit, as they are more socially retarded than we are.

>>18133811
We're very open. We've discussed this many times. I don't go search for advice on the matter (until now) it just seems like that's the general consensus and we both are curious as to the reasoning behind it.

Im 32 and sort of in the same situation. Though I could easily say my girlfriend while she loves me equally, is incapable of expressing it nearly as often. She also is much more introverted than I am so requires long periods of alone time which can be difficult for me.

I believe the reason why its unhealthy is that if you spend all your time together, you could easily build a dependency and reliance on the relationship to make you happy. Since you're less likely to spend as much time alone or on other friendships, if that relationship goes south you're left more of a broken person. Honestly though, as long as you're both reciprocating each others love, are aware of the time you need to cultivate your own needs and passions, and are aware that you should both have your own lives every now and then I think you should ride the ride the way its meant to as much as you want.

>>18133797
>>18133797
As long as you feel you would be okay if things did go bad then it sounds like its okay. As long as you value yourself as a person and realise that your life matters and that you are a wonderful person then its A okay. My girlfriend loves me alot and I love her too but I am not as affectionate which worries her. However its just who I am, I am not much of an expressionist when it comes to emotions. She realises this and we both know our traits and how we show love.

>>18133824
that's really what I'm asking. Is it just as a "just in case things fail" kind of a deal? That seems stupid to kill a good thing by purposely distancing yourself because you're afraid of the worst case scenario.
We both are very very loving, to the point where I think we're both very satisfied and never are left wondering. We're well matched in terms of how much time we want to spend together and don't get sick of each other or really need periods of alone time despite our introvertedness. Being together is as relaxing as being alone. We're aware that people say there's a need to have our own lives, but neither of us really feel that need. Is that as bad as people say?

>>18133797
>people are always talking about being too attached and how it's bad and whatnot

I think these people are not expressing themselves very well, or else you don't understand what they're saying very well.

Loving someone a lot is GOOD. It is one of the best things there is. Not getting tired of someone's company is GOOD. Wanting to include your partner in the things you do is GOOD.

Here are some things that are BAD, which you may or may not be doing:
Becoming dependent:
if you are unable to be happy unless you are with that person, that's bad. Being afraid to be alone is bad. Never forget that you are an autonomous person and your happiness must always come, first and foremost, from yourself.

Pressuring your partner always to spend time with you:
Most people require time apart from their partners. Even if you & he are currently happy to be with each other at all times, that may change. That's okay and healthy. Your emotional needs will change as you age and grow. Be open to that. Do not think of it as a rejection if he, at some point, says he'd like to start spending time with his friends apart from you.

Being unable to honestly & openly criticise your partner:
A healthy relationship requires openness and honesty, and that means recognising your partner's imperfections & irritating traits. If you never have any unkind things to say about your partner, you may not be being totally honest with yourself. Everyone is annoying or frustrating sometimes.

There are more but I think you get the idea.

>>18133815
People generally give that advice because they've been hurt severely before due to caring too much, so they project themselves onto other relationships and recommend distancing yourself from your partner so as to mitigate risk. If it works for you, keep it. Don't let a good thing go because of what plebbit or other normiez say.

>>18133838
This is a very articulate and helpful post, anon! Thank you. I think I understand now. We have no issues with those things, we just really enjoy each other as much as we get a chance to. I don't think either of us would have an issue with things changing a bit because I think we're both really secure in our love for each other. No problems with putting on a pedestal, either. We both know we're not perfect, but we say we are for each other. Things that are annoying are easy enough to brush off or just bring up politely, so far.

>>18133841
That's kind of the opinion we've formed but I just wanted to gather more view points. Thanks!

>>18134087
what did he mean by this?

>>18133797

is he really truly worth it? nothing wrong with being in love with your man, but dont go off the deep end if he wont provide for you

Nothing is wrong with you.

If anything what you're doing is the norm, what society encourages is the destabilizing garbage that distracts you from YOUR NORM.

Outside perspectives don't mean shit, because at the end of the day, those people don't pay your bills or feed you. Enjoy yourselves fully.

>>18133797
the mantis chews off their mates head.... bad image choice OP

File: IMG_0498.jpg (54KB, 500x361px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 500x361px

>>18133797

>>18133797
If you dated someone (or wanted to) after you broke up the first time, you probably have your answer. It'd mean you're possibly looking for different traits in a man.

If you're serious about the guy, he might be the only person you're still in contact with in 4 years. And that might not be such a bad thing. It would help to have mutual friends that you could visit or have over.

>no one will ever feel this way about you

>>18133797
jelly people my friend. if it ain't broke don't try to fix it.

>>18134579
;)

Been with my first for 18 years now. When we were young (16-22) we got the same responses. People either thought we were scared to look further than our noses, or that we were rusted shut in a relationship too early. Most given advice was to fuck around, "live a little". This all changed when we passed our early twenties; everyone was envious of our great relationship and the way we are a "unit" together.

needless to say our relationship is intense. We don't sleep well when the other isn't in bed. We feel what's up with our partner before they do themself. We grew up together, we have had no other sexual partners. It's intense, but intensely valuable to us, and wouldn't want it any other way.

The only thing I want to advise you is to make sure that if you're young, you pull all kinds of crazy shit, together or seperated, whatever you prefer. Don't spend your days in bed watching netflix together. Go out, go to (sketchy) bars, go party with a bunch of girlfriends, get yourself in memorable situations. We did this together and apart, and I notice it really makes us feel we had a cool school/student life, and it causes us not to feel like we "missed out" by being this serious about such a big part of our lives from such an early age.