>Great relationship >Got married >Now we have sex less

welcome to marriage, did you not read the memes? It's been an age old joke

>>18131562
I dont think even most happy marriages are like this (most unhappy for sure but mine is a good one).

Hell even hearing the stories from my cousins wife how she fucked him in our basement while they visited and how shes constantly pursuing him etc etc.

Granted I dont expect my wife to turn into a sex fiend but its the constant rejection i dont understand.

>>18131559

like the other anon said, this is something marriage is known for, really that long term relationships are known for. anyone who goes into marriage thinking things wont change is simply deluding themselves, but thats the current state of romance in western society: delusion. everyone claiming they know the truths, then retreating to the secret disney fan in the back of their brain and saying 'except for me, i find magic destiny love sex wife'.

spoiler alert: you're just like everyone else.

you can try to talk to her about it from a sympathetic point of view, talk about how it makes you sad, like you're nojt as close, like you can't be there with your 'wife' the way a husband is meant to be.

and in return, you offer your own criticism. what have you stopped doing? have you stopped being the romantic man who used to earn his sex?

I suggest reading up on responsive desire and how stress decreases sex drive. Here's some stuff to get you started:

http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/scienceofdesire/
http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/come-as-you-are-2/

>>18131559
Is she on any kind of hormonal birth control? If she is it's really likely that that's the problem. You could suggest she gets a copper IUD for birth control as it doesn't interfere with hormones or sex drive.
Or maybe try to woo her a bit? I find I'm more in the mood for sex when my boyfriend is romantic about it instead of just rolling over in bed and tapping me on the shoulder.
GL tho

>>18131591
If she's on any kind of antidepressant or anti anxiety that could be the problem too but that ones a lot harder to fix, seeing as there's not really an alternative.

She trapped you, that's what women do.

Constant rejection == you're not a man to her anymore.

Have fun paying her bills for the rest of your life, whether she sticks with you or not.

>>18131591
She does have the bar implant in her arm.

It just got renewed less than a few months back and im not sure i'd want her to get a IUD since i've heard many horror stories about that and i wouldnt want to risk hurting her, still no harm in asking around though.

I have been trying to woo her but its had little effect, i suppose i'll just need to toughen up and keep trying.

>>18131607
Get in damngood shape and get noticed as much as you can. She'll suddenly remember her attraction to you once she realizes you're not friendzone material anymore.

>>18131614
Im in shape/well groomed I just havent got a job outside the house in a while (my work visa expired recently/getting refreshed). Honestly I do suspect this might be a contributing factor though, I do IT work from home but it isnt, "the same". That plus the birth control plus general stress.

Its nice to vent so thanks for the good input

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131KB, 1111x597px

>>18131559
>He fell for the marriage meme

>Marriage

Jesus fucking Christ OP it's like you asked for a dead bedroom situation. Females get comfortable when they get married since you just can't up and leave their assess at any moment just cause she ain't giving you regular sex. Contrary to popular belief there is very few women who truly enjoy and lust after sex at the same rate men do, they just pretend they love to do it all the time (at first) so they can trap a man to commit to her.

>>18131559

Just ask why she doesn't want to have sex, don't be a jerk and say we should fuck.

>>18131607
The other anon that replied to this isn't me. Attraction has NOTHING to do with it if it's hormonal. Trust me I've been through it. My boyfriend has never stopped being attractive to me but when I was on birth control I didn't want to have sex, even if I was offered the hottest guy in the world. It had nothing to do with him. It's all hormonal.

But I know many girls that have IUD's and haven't had any problems. But since she has the bar already she probably won't want to switch.
Another thing you can do is try to get her to up her testosterone levels. That's what makes girls want to have sex. You can look up libido-boosting foods for women and suggest she has some. It's not hard, I think pumpkin seeds are one of them.

Not OP but I have a question... how does getting married make a woman want sex less? I'm femanon in a 1.5 year relationship, I guess thats not considered a long time. I am constantly initiating/pursuing sex from him. We also want to marry if things keep going well. How would marriage change this? Our sex life is one of the most enjoyable aspects of our relationship to me and I'm afraid if we lose it, we lose a big part of us.

>>18131712

Part of the attraction you feel to your SO is grounded in fear, fear of losing him, fear of being alone. It's also called dread, you dread losing him which makes you want to have sex with him to keep him satisfied. It's just a part of the attraction. When you get married, you get complacent, you know he isn't going anywhere and that gives you a sense of security and comfort. Which kills a part of the excitement and attraction you once felt. Now you will only put out only when you truly feel like it, which In my experience is very rarely.

Divorced twice man speaking here. Never doing the marriage thing again, it always kill the sexlife. Same thing happened to my friends. I used to think the no sex thing in marriages was a meme. Turned out it was as real as anything could get.