I have a very paradoxical character. I tend to despise my fellow

>>18131333
Edgelord 9000

>>18131333

conflicted does not equal 'paradoxical'.

its the same reason a man can want ot break up with his girlfriend, but be afraid to at the same time.

look at almost everything you wrote and you'll find its not even contradictory, just conflicted.

>i despise my fellow man
>i longs for their adoration

you can literally despise them for not giving you adoration, and we DO want to impress the people we hate more than the people we love.

>convinced my intelligence makes me superior
>yet consider myself inferior becuase of a reason that has nothing to do with intelligence

dumb people can be happy. intelligent people can be happy. ergo, it has nothing to do with intelligence. you simply feel superior in one area, but in ferior in others.

>>18131333
I bet you also have a wicked sense of humor

You are inching closer to the truth. Keep going.

I have nothing on earth that anyone might consider satisfying. In fact all that I have is a medical problem and loads of debt because of it.

Strangely, I am more happy than I have ever been. Perpetually happy. Extremely joyful always. Not in a Pleasantville, plastic kind of way. Real joy.

I used to be frustrated for the same reasons as you are. There are people out there that just seem always happy no matter what happens. In fact it feels like it's the majority of people just seem unaffected, unlike me. It always made me feel like I was broken, like something was missing. After reading the bible and getting to know God and praying for Joy I got it!

>my intelligence
>eat my cake and have it too.

So smart. I wanna be like you vocabulary boy.

>>18131345
yeah sorry I'm young obviously
>>18131351
so what should I do about it? Try to balance myself more through other means?
>>18131355
yea
>>18131356
thanks friend I'll look into it! god bless you
>>18131366
you fucking got me dude

>>18131385

>so what should i do about it?

well as far as i read, nothing. the issues you associate with one another arent associated with one naother, there is no reason to balance.

your intelligence has nothing to do with your emotional state. the two are unrelated. nothing to balance.

your desire to be loved and your intrinsic 'hatred' have nothing to do with each other.

Nothing paradoxical about what you wrote. And pretty common actually. On the whole pointlessness thing, yeah we're going to die anyway, might as well enjoy the ride

I'd consider suicide.

Your writing style / how you vocalize your thoughts is annoying as fuck and I'd be surprised if you had any friends at all.

I think you're just a slightly-smarter-than-average narcissistic person dealing with the shit mostly everyone goes through.

>>18131333
Please stop writing like you're Shakespeare. The general idea behind your writing is good, but how you phrase everything makes me cringe.

>>18131333
>>18131385

You are pretentious. You should address this first, as it puts people off in social situations. Contrary to what you might think, having people in your life makes you feel better about yourself in ways that hollow arrogance can't substitute for.
Try to take yourself less seriously.

The problem is you're a pseudointellectual who thinks that they're not.

Honestly you couldn't explain to me the The Callan-Symanzik equation, your art probably sucks and your writing would probably make me cringe.

Try and lighten up and take yourself less seriously bud