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I am at my parents for spring break. My mother wasw always extremely bipolar, screaming and yelling at me throughout most of my life. I'm rather sure she's the reason i have sucha cynical view on women since she was such a hypocrite and maniac. Today however, I accidentally left food in the sink and forgot about it, and she freaked out and started screaming again. This hadn't happened in a long while, and I told her to calm down and that I'd take care of it. However, she just continued to scream about it and tell me that I am so careless and disrespectful. At that moment, I had the strongest urge to punch her in the face and scream back at her. It took a lot to not do it, and I never have this urge nor am I ever violent.
Is this bad? This is my own mother. I find it very hard to love her, but that was extreme.
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>>18131085
>>18131085
I really feel for you anon. It's hard stuff dealing with someone like that, especially a family member. Don't feel bad for what you felt. Everyone gets angry, and it wasn't unreasonable. Just don't forget that you are dealing with someone who is ill, and not in full control of her emotions. I would doubt she'd want to be like this is she had a choice.
In short, stay strong anon, but know you're allowed to have feeling too
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Bottom line OP you should get a good therapist with who you can relate and work on it. Get a female therapist as you need a strong stable role model. Getting in touch with your own anger is the key to your recovery.....
Read: Healing developmental trauma : how early trauma affects self-regulation, self-image, and the capacity for relationship by Heller, Laurence
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>>18131085
Shit no.
I have a mom exactly similar to yours. I genuinely thought after every one of those moments how little I'd care if she died. Looking back at it I still don't know how I'd feel. I had a lot of moments similar to yours where minor scenarios would stir shit and she'd become crazy (though some were far more serious than those you speak of here).
Trust me, it's human. You're fine. Good luck with your mother, I know exactly how you feel.
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>>18131103
>>18131138
>>18131307
Thanks bros
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You shouldn't leave food in the sink. It smells bad and attracts roaches.
I think you were angry at yourself. Rightly so, too.
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