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Does anyone else experience resentment at ones self for setting goals? It feels like I'm two separate people, one who is responsible, rational and wants to get ahead in life, and the other who is a stubborn child who always wants his way. The stubborn child within me feels a lot stronger and takes over at times.
When I try to follow goals, I get depressed and frustrated.I always hear anons saying that its supposed to make you feel better, and I can definitely see where they are coming from, but whenever I am trying to make and complete goals (Even small ones) I get incredibly aggressive and wish I was just on the computer. I would do half an hour of work, and then go on the computer for a break, and never return to the task.
I have tried discipline, and I have been able to study for 3+ hours at a time on a very good day, but recently I can barely go 10 minutes without wanting to scream and go back to the computer or do something distracting. This is taking hold of my life and I will never get anywhere at this speed.
How do you not want to kill yourself when following goals?
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I'm with you on this ride as well; even as far as just setting goals seems impossible for me. Bumping for interest
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>>18124045
At least we're not alone in this struggle.
I don't mind difficulty, but at the state I'm at now I have no idea how university people study every say for several hours at a time. At that point I think I would legitimately consider suicide.
I am ashamed at myself for this laziness, and trying to brute through it has ended in me saying "Fuck it" and getting to an even worse point.
I set a lot of goals that are achievable, I exercise, socialize, and do things to get over these slumps but I always feel like I'm wasting my life whenever I feel bored. I have no boredom tolerance, or if the thing I'm doing doesn't interest me greatly, I don't give it any attention.
Work doesn't feel worth it. I can only work 3 days a week before getting burned out.
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Sounds like you self induced ADHD from internet addiction. I'd recommend having some external stimulus limiting your usage so you stop wasting time reading drivel online for a superficial dopamine hit.
You are LITERALLY stealing dopamine from your future self by sacrificing precious time in the current moment.
Otherwise acknowledge your state and just accept it. Try and limit spending and adjust your lifestyle so you can survive on minimal income. It might sound ironic but once you accept this you will no longer compare with others and regain a quiet sense of confidence and peace with ones self instead of berating yourself for "wasting time".
The second tactic might sound ironic but it's a legit tactic if you wanna crush the suicidal thoughts without needing to be a rat race normie or hotshot self-made baller.
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