My friend shared with me a really dark side to his past. We aren't

>How should I approach this?
If you give a damn about your relationship you should tell him why things were incredibly inappropriate and should stop talking.

You need to not hang out with this friend alone anymore and you are putting his needs above your bf and your own needs. I'm amaZed your bf didn't dump you immediately and I'm amazed you didn't completely stop talking to your friend after cheating with him.

You're not his therapist or girlfriend. He needs professional help. You aren't qualified to give it. Focus on yourself first.

>>18122987
You basically took advantage of an emotionally vulnerable person.

stay away from him. You will only fuck his life up more. I also pity your bf and the future prospects of that relationship. Now that he knows you do things like that don't expect him to remain loyal to you.

Good job!

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>>18122987
Youre garbage and your bf is a spineless pussy for not dumping you on the spot.

>>18122994
>>18122998
Wait, I haven't spoken with him at all since then but I HAVE to for work. He is getting help.
>>18123005
I guess I'm not too worried about my boyfriend and I since we've been together for nearly 8 years. We're quite honest with each other. He didn't seem to be too upset given the situation.

Guys, I know I'm a shit person already. What can I actually do moving forward?

>>18122987
>>18123021

This is going to be awkward no matter how you handle this, so my advice is to reach some sort of mutual understanding that this will never happen again. How you go about dealing with it is up to you; as long as long as you make this clear to him in some manner or another, you should be okay.

Tip for the future: limit your intake on alcohol.

If this went any further, you'd have been fucked.

>>18122987
>>18123021
What you can do is go back in time and tell your shitty parents to raise you better so you dont have loose morals that wont be exposed when you drink.

>>18123015
Not upset? Hmm he may be sleeping around already. Also after 8 years you don't have respect or any consideration for him?

You just don't talk to the guy. Just have minimal contact. If you tell your boss you're uncomfortable to be around him then they will put you both on different shifts/different units/departments/duties/etc.

What kind of work do you guys even do?

>>18123032
Thanks. This was at a house party and the weed I smoked really fucked me up. I honestly don't remember the details that happened. So far I just acted like I would normally.

>>18123042
LOL Thanks dude
>>18123044
I'm going to be his boss. It's office work.

>>18123046
>LOL Thanks dude
I wasnt joking. Youre just a shitty person. Alcohol doesnt make people change it just shows who they really are. Youre trash and always will be. Im not gonna sugar coat it like all these pussies here. If you were my GF id have dumped you immediately and not thought twice about it.

>>18123046
You have boss dumby. Whose higher then you? Who do you report too? Or are you the CEO?

Way to abuse your power btw. You sound like a very reasonable, thoughtful, and sable person

>>18123050
Exactly. Alcohol is such a fucking stupid excuse. You were a slob and sexually acted out on a insecure and suicidal person. That's called being a sexual predator. Please stop abusing him and leave him alone

>>18123058
Im not even calling her a predator im calling her a slut. Shes a slave to her emotions. Once a cheater always a cheater.

>>18123050
>>18123058
Yeah, okay, I agree that I'm a relatively bad person. Why would you say I was a sexual predator though? The guy was more sober than me.

>>18123066
Someone whose openly suicidal and disturbed doesn't sound very stable

>>18123066
Im not>>18123070
I dont even care about his angle. Im just calling you a slut, which you are.
>Have BF
>Make out and cuddle with another guy
>Why?
>Cause youre a trashy slut

>>18123054
The situation is complex but I'm at the top and make all the calls, but his firing/hiring doesn't depend on me so I don't have power in that regard.

>>18123050
Okay, just going to point out that if alcohol was any good at showing who anyone really is, after seeing what I've seen, then I fear for the future of humankind as we know it; that, and I'd probably be a world-class karaoke singer.

I don't care who you are, I'd like to see you try and act the same way after a bottle or two. Bottom line: people make stupid decisions when they're wasted. That's just the way it is.

Believe me, if alcohol didn't make people change no one would drink it.

>>18123077
Not disagreeing, I spent the other half of the party asking our friends if I was a slut.

>>18123083
Thank you anon. I don't really understand why but my boyfriend is very calm about the situation.
I feel really ashamed, hearing about my entire night from my friends it seems like I was just overly affectionate and emotional, and continuously made very dumb decisions.

>>18123079

The professional thing to do would be to apologize for your actions and make clear that it was a mistake. You want only to have a professional relationship with him, and that's it.

That means no texting. No doing drugs or drinking with each other. That means no carefree conversations. It means literally just having a working relationship. Block everything else out.

If he can't do that then you will have a problem.

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>>18123083
100% wrong
>then I fear for the future of humankind as we know it
And? Are you telling me you didnt already know most people are stupid?

> I'd probably be a world-class karaoke singer
That just means you want to sing sober as well but youre to afraid to. Stop being a pussy while sober.

>Believe me, if alcohol didn't make people change no one would drink it
First off believe me I was in the Navy and did more drinking in 4 years than you have in your entire pathetic life. Second it jsut amplifies who you are already. You dont change. I knew 3 guys while i was in who absolutely refused to ever cheat on their wives. Ive seen all 3 black out drunk surrounded by whores in singapore and they refused to cheat. Thats called moral fiber you degenerate apologist.

>>18123084
>Not disagreeing, I spent the other half of the party asking our friends if I was a slut
So you want attention for being one as well? Consider porn you attention seeking drama queen. You are a slut. Youre faggy friends were most likely to nice to tell you to your face but they are saying it behind your back.

>>18123091
Cause youre a dumb person so of course when drunk you make dumb decisions.

>>18123091
NP. Do you post here often?

lot of virginity in here.
What you did was wrong, yes, but I understand why you did it. You aren't a slut or a predator, this person dumped all their feelings onto you at once and you pitied him, but what you did was retarded and will only hurt him. You arent overthinking it and if you care about this person, get them to work out their depression through a healthy way; therapy is also a must.

>>18123103
HAHAHAH
Que the white knight swooping in for myladys contact info

>>18123105
>>18123105
So if you pitty someone that means you make out with them??? Youre a moron as well.

>>18123109
sure buddy, hold onto that v card

>>18123099
Most drunk people are, yes. Sober people are a different story. I kind of meant the karaoke thing as a joke, I sing sober too. You mentioning people who are normally very faithful to their wives acting completely differently after heavily drinking alcohol only reinforces my point.

>>18123105
Thanks, I'm thinking I should not be the person to be leading him through getting help though.
>>18123099
Maybe it's because of the way I phrased things, but I think at the time I probably seemed more fragile than him. I'd been crying the entire night. I vaguely remember him asking me if I was okay and that he wasn't looking for a relationship.
>>18123103
No

>>18123130
Good.

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>>18123120
So let me get this straight, Im a virgin because i refuse to white knight for some skank on 4chan?
Ok well ill jsut do what youre doing, youre a virgin too. Everyone in this thread is a virgin.

>>18123127
>You mentioning people who are normally very faithful to their wives acting completely differently after heavily drinking alcohol only reinforces my point.
I said they acted the same you illiterate mong.
>I knew 3 guys while i was in who absolutely refused to ever cheat on their wives.
>who absolutely refused to ever cheat on their wives
Since youre just learning how to read i suggest starting slow and look up words you dont understand.

>>18123130
>I'd been crying the entire night
Why? So youre the girl who cries at parties? Again youre an attention seeking drama queen. Jesus how fucking old are you that youre still doing shit like that?

>>18123134
We're all college kids.

did he know you had a boyfriend? there's a chance this guy thinks its his fault, OP.

>>18123127
Not that anon, but what exactly is your point? What about alcohol?

alcohol Is a known depressant. It's known to raise sexual arosual. It esstionally can affect people differently. I don't drink. I'm in my early 20s and I know I can't. It literally turns me into a closet drinker and makes me very angry. I don't touch that stuff.

People make irrational decisions when drunk. The alcohol clouds their judgement and moter functioning.

You should drink responsibly.....

>>18123144
Yeah, I don't know if it was the alcohol or the weed. I've never ever blacked out before in my 22 years so I was very surprised at myself. I usually know my limits.
>>18123143
No, I don't think so, even though I talk about him occasionally to my friends, and he's on my snapchat and instagram often. Before I fell asleep the last thing I heard him ask was "Do you really have a boyfriend?".

>>18123134
you are a virgin because you go on /adv/ and call people skanks. Got mad because no one ever pity sexed you. Some chick comes to you at a party where everyone is trashed and just drop the weight of their life onto your shoulders and comes onto you? I'd fuck her if i was trashed enough. She realized she made a mistake and she is asking how to fix it. There is no reason to be hostile unless you're jealous or have been cheated on.

>>18123161
>>18123161

How do you have a boyfriend for 8 years that no one knows about?

>>18123173
Being honest is being hostile? She honestly is a slut thats not hostile at all.
Id fuck her to, but again, im not in the relationship she is and he didnt know as she said. How about you accept she isnt going to send you nudes and stop whiteknighting virgin.

You're pretty scummy. You're going to have to live with the consequences of being a dumb slut with no control.

>>18123184
>Honesty
No you are just being a jackass, you arent giving any advice or answering her questions so your "honesty" doesn't belong here. Attacking anyone that tries to help her with her problem isnt being honest either. Dont forgot your v-card when you head back to /r9k/

>>18123178
No, people generally know I'm dating. My phone wallpaper is the two of us together. We are both really busy right now but we visit one another's work places. This guy might not have known though.
>>18123187
>>18123184
I fully admit to fucking up which is why I posted in the first place. I don't want to offend anyone, but I also don't think this one moment of stupidity dictates my whole entire worth or perception of self and neither do my friends or even boyfriend (who is the ultimate victim in this situation). I am embarrassed for being THAT intoxicated to go out of control, and potentially really affecting this guy. Once again, I'm not worried about me and my boyfriend because as ironic as this might sound given the situation, we're very close.

Side note and this is kind of off topic but I'm still a virgin.

>>18123178
Also it's on facebook (our relationship status)

>>18123161
>>18123203
hmm, so people at the party knew you have a boyfriend, did they say anything about your behavior? or the guys behavior? what else did he say

>>18123199
Im being a jackass? And yet you keep insulting me by calling me a virgin which also imlpies being a virgin is a bad thing.
Meanwhile OP said >>18123203
>Side note and this is kind of off topic but I'm still a virgin
So by insulting me you insulted OP. Youre not too smart jackass.

>>18122987
Not good wifey material. Very degenerate, unstable, and dumb. Why would you post this here? What advice are you even looking for?
It's clear. Cut your relations with him if you have any ounce of respect for the poor fool you've trick into a relationship with for 8 years. If you work with him report there's issue to your supervisor. It's not complicated. You are making all this complicated.

>asking friends at the party if your a slut, crying the whole night
You also appear to have issues with being the center of attention.
Stop replying to this persons thread. She loves the attention.

SAGE

>>18123134

I suppose you should start drinking then, so that you could come up with more creative ways to insult my intelligence.

How on bloody earth could they possibly act the same if they're doing the complete opposite? Do you think any part of your sweet little anecdote was convincing, let alone believable? I mean, you don't honestly expect me to think that there was no kissing or cuddling and that they just HAPPENED to end up black out drunk whilst surrounded by whores SOMEWHERE in Singapore, do you? Beyond denying the absolute FACT that intoxication degrades decision quality, you give an even less reasonable argument than your jackass Navy buddies.

And don't even pretend that you know more about drinking than I do, or that any man of moral fiber would end up black out drunk by their own rational choosing, especially around prostitutes. For all I know, you're a 400 pound man eating Cheetos on his living room couch right now.

Your pretentiousness is only outdone by your ignorance. Bravo.

>>18123213
Bringing up something that wasnt a known fact to defend your prior argument is retarded. If she didn't give him any, how is she a slut? Also you are the person who replied to me.

>>18123221
>How on bloody earth could they possibly act the same if they're doing the complete opposite?
Wtf is this? You cant read either???
They refused to cheat. Im sitting here with photos from all around the world on my phone and pictures of one of those guys who blacked out in subic bay in the phillipines and we threw him in a cold shower to wake him up and he started crying and asking for his wife when he came to. I honestly dont care if you believe me I was there i saw it with my own eyes.
> I mean, you don't honestly expect me to think that there was no kissing or cuddling
Yes becuase i was there and they said no but felt like drinking to relax. Not hard to understand.
>SOMEWHERE in Singapore
Its everywhere in asia desu, take a trip sometime

You probably dont want to believe me cause you think my claims are extraordinary. They arent. Every single person whose ever been in the navy and stattioned on the west coast has deployed all over asia and seen all kinds of shit. Want me to tell you about we shot a cow with an rpg in thailand? Or how we saw cock fights and midget boxing in Manilla?

>>18123216
>wifey material
opinion discarded

>>18123236
>Bringing up something that wasnt a known fact to defend your prior argument is retarded
Its not defending my argument you moron its making you look stupid for attacking me by also showing you insulted OP at the same time. Please think before typing.
>If she didn't give him any, how is she a slut?
Kissing??? You just let your gf go around kissing people?
>Also you are the person who replied to me
When? Where? This >>18123203 post is not me.

>>18123216
A guy's perspective? I posted here because I wanted to know what I could do to make things better. My problem is that I don't have a superior, I'm managing him directly and there's no way I can go around NOT talking to him.

Also, I've dealt with really drunk friends in the past who have cried, vomited, gone nuts before as a result of binge drinking too. I didn't think that that was an abnormal thing.

>>18123241
Anon stop replying to them. They all sound incredibly stupid. This whole thread is stupid.

Thank you for serving our country btw

>>18123079
>but his firing/hiring doesn't depend on me so I don't have power in that regard.
kek, I love how you're talking about it like you'd consider it if you could.

>>18123252
if it's so stupid why are you replying in it

>>18123247
sluts put out anon, making out with someone is forgivable. Plus having a v-card in a relationship is different than never being able to loose it
also
>>18123109

>>18123241
Actually, that sounds really interesting.
Maybe have a drink sometime?

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>>18123252
>Thank you for serving our country
Np senpai, i always get uncomfortable when people say this to me.
Heres a pic from hawaii.

>>18123260
>making out with someone is forgivable
If you say so

>>18123262
>Actually, that sounds really interesting.
>Maybe have a drink sometime?
I dont understand, are you actually asking me to get a drink with you?

>>18123260
At some point my friends that night asked me why I was dating my boyfriend if we don't do anything sexual. Don't know how to explain this but I just never felt ready, we've been dating since high school too.

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>>18123249
Literally grow up. Just because your friends act like idiots and abuse alcohol doesn't mean you have too.

Also how do you not have a superior? well anway, your option is this >>18123097

If he's really fucked up over this then you are going to have trouble, and may need to leave your job

>>18123267
Naw, but I do find your stories particularly intriguing; I'd love to hear about them.

I don't condemn you OP.. but yeah, just change. Be a better person because of it. Not one of us is exempt from sin or error, not one. Every day that goes by is an opportunity to learn to be better, wiser, and respect yourself a little more.

>>18123267
That looks nice anons! That's really cool you got to go to all those places. Normies, including myself, have no idea the sacrafices you guys make for the rest of us. Military family's literally represent about 1% of the population, and yet they protect us all. I truly appreciate it.

>>18123283 Thank you, I somehow missed >>18123097 's post. Thanks >>18123301
as well :)

Also sorry for pissing a lot of people off - cheating and drinking is a topic that if I were in your shoes, I'd be probably just as angry at this thread.

I think people are always trying to fix the sides to them that are very fucked up and I'm lucky I have people in my life who can tolerate some of my bullshit, and teach me to be more compassionate. Hope I can live the rest of my life with the unwavering moral fibre some of you seem to have...always thought I was very responsible and kind but it looks like I still need to work on growing up.

Thanks again!

>I am such an emotional empathizer
>I totally didn't realize what was happening
>It was the weed/booze/drugs!

This is why chicks who party/do drugs are fucking garbage. 99% of them are professional victims and ANY situation that results in anything bad happening wasn't their fault OR they were being such a good friend things just happened to turn out that way when someone got the wrong idea. OP is just one of those pieces of trash who uses anything to justify their shit behavior

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>>18123302
Thats why it makes me uncomfortable. It wasnt like that for me at all lol. I joined at 18-19 right after HS so i wasnt sacrificing shit. I couldnt wait to go. Glad im out now but it was a great experience.
Pic is us pulling into Hong Kong

>>18123288
Ill green text one or 2 but im burnt out

>>18123318
when OP tries to end it on a good note but you just have to shit all over it with your unpopular virgin ass basement nerdy closeted opinions

>>18123302
Not that guy, but never thank a vet, we're just doing their jobs. Especially a war vet: there's no pride in taking the lives of others, only an understanding of what needs to be done. Not a day goes by when I don't think of the things I've done and the carnage I've seen. It the end of the day, it's just trying to live with yourself that becomes hard.

>>18123327
>projection
>projection
>projection
Again youre calling people virgin as an insult and OP is one

>>18123288
>In Manilla Phillipines
>friends get hotel room
>4pmish
>all you can drink at the hotel bar for 10$
>fuck yes
>start slamming long islands
>get buzzed and head into the city
>driving through the slums to get there
>shits fucked up
>cab driver warns us about "spider boys"
>theyre packs of wild kids they hang out under bridges, if you drive under a bridge theyll jump in front of the car and reach into the window and steal anything they can get ahold of
>get to the city
>continue to drink and eat some random food
>grown men wandering the street selling Tazers, butterfly knives, brass knuckles and guns if you are persuasive enough
>dont buy any cause i dont want any
>others are trying to lure you into brothels
>some selling their sisters
>head into bar
>small boxing ring in the center
>we start drinking
>2 midgets walk out and start beating eachother up
>they start taking volunteers to fight
>random gets in the ring and gets on his knees and starts fighting both midgets
>good times and laughs
>nights ending
>me and a few others head back to ship
>friends with hotel room grab some whores from the bar
>theyre all whores fyi
>take them back to room and fuck all night
>fin

i wonder how your boyfriend feels

>>18123350
not me anon. different guy you are arguing with now

>>18123359
He's a cuck but 8 years is a long time to be throwing away

>>18123380
And? What i said still applies to you. You used virgin as an insult right? Man ive never seen a thread with this many idiots in it before. You people seriously need to get an education.

Just be a hundred percent honest with yourself and everyone and try everything you can to make sure nothing like it happens again.

You're not a piece of shit. You made a decision that will hurt someone you care for and that shit happens. What matters is that you learn from it.

>>18123426
>Again you're calling people virign as insult
>"again"
i merely pointed out that you werent talking to the same person, did you forget your tard pills this morning? Also, saving oneself in a relationship is different from not being able to loose your virginity. /b/ is is more suited for a person of your kind of personality. There you can call people retarded/sluts/cucks/white knights all you want. Go, be with your own kind

Hmm. OP, was this all physical? I don't know if this makes a big difference but this guy seems to be going through a lot and obviously revealed those things with trust in you. If you shared personal stories while cuddling maybe the best thing to do is honestly address the situation, and tell him its okay for him to confide in you.

>>18123438
>i merely pointed out that you werent talking to the same person
>>18123438
Thx for the semantics
> saving oneself in a relationship is different from not being able to loose your virginity
So you insult me for apparalently not being to loose my virginity then tell me to go to /b/? Hypocrite? Retarded? Again you white knights keep saying im a virgin and have literally no reason to say that. So again ill use the tactic thats being used aginst me. Youre a virgin. Everyone in this thread is a virgin. Im a dinosaur and yorue an alien.

>>18123475
>>18123438
talk about derailing a thread

>>18123491
Op left a long time ago, talk about not being able to read

>>18123359
I think it says a lot that he's not dumping my ass.
>>18123435
Thank you.
>>18123449
Wait what? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't trust me anymore if he really had no idea I had a boyfriend. I don't think it's a good idea for me to help him in anyway.

>>18123526
>>18123534

>>18122987
guys never open up to girls, he just was trying to get you to feel sorry for him for some suky suky

>>18123572
I don't think so, he revealed this with me and two other friends all together. We were all talking about personal shit.

>>18122987
Maybe it's best OP just ignore it and pretend like it didn't happen

>>18123592
>>18123592
Wow sounds like one hell of a fun party

>>18123592
Better chances at having sex by whining to a few women instead of one.

Haha you got used girl and your too stupid to realize it

>>18123592
Then I don't understand what the problem is. He spilled his guts to whomever would listen. Since you made it right with your bf you are way overthinking this other guy unless you like this guy and want to keep him in orbit so you can go at him again at the next party.

>>18122987
Hahahaha. Pity fucking is still fucking. This guy worked it and got a girl to cheat on her bf. Bravo