Yesterday I realized that the only reason I'm dating my

>>18122968

Maybe you're gay and secretly want the women you're trying to impress?

Alternatively, you're one of those crazy competitive types.

>>18122968
>What is wrong with me?
You're a woman.

I understand how you feel and have behaved similarly. When you meet someone special, this will all go away, because I think you are just bored right now and doing this along the lines of 'why not'. Because there's nothing you really want yet.

I think you should try talking to different types of people besides going off of their looks. I did that and one time i met someone special. and the blinders fell off and I didn't care about if he was good looking or cool enough. Because he made me happy.

>>18122968
So you are basically saying you are a very shallow person that places great value on what others think?

You live more of a fulfilling life by not caring what others think and doing stuff that makes you happy.

>>18122968
youre a sociopath

I've mostly fallen into relationships without much personal drive, so I understand. They'd like me an uncomfortable amount, I'd like them well enough and not want to make things weird. I'm currently dating my best friend, and it's working out as far as "making me give a shit" goes.

You probably have a limited type, but you could also be aromantic or have some deep problems that are keeping you from connecting to others on that level.

If you're just wired that way, it's all good. Just do your best to only date casually and communicate your boundaries well so you don't hurt anyone. If you have actual problems, I'd spend some time getting to know cognitive behavioral therapy. If you want pros and cons about different therapy types, just ask! I have an armchair interest and some practical experience from my chronic depression.

>>18122993
She's probably not. They only make up a small portion of the population and aren't quickly diagnosed.

>>18122992
Sometimes people are fucked over by their situations and personal baggage, and then can't just make healthy choices just because they feel like they're going to suddenly "be fixed". That's silly. If OP actually has problems (she might not!), the root causes are pretty complicated.

>>18122976
I can see where you're coming from, there is an element of obsession to the way I operate, I feel it towards this girl at work and have felt it towards other women in the past. I don't think I'm a lesbian though, I've never been attracted to a woman or had fantasies like that. I think they just give me a drive, I'm competitive like you said, I feel a strong emotional investment in wanting to one-up them. Lol. It's exciting to feel like I'm competing with someone.
>>18122993
That's what I'm worried about...
>>18123011
I'd appreciate the info, thanks, I've never been to a psychiatrist, I don't know anything about therapy.

>>18122968
You're a manipulative, petty person who likes to use people to their own ends?

Is this the answer you were looking for?

>>18123085
Here's a link to an interesting blog post talking about two major schools of thought. The author is a real trip. If you like this link, I have some unrelated favorites to share with you. Click on the embedded links for more reliable information than you ever wanted to know.

https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/09/19/scientific-freud/


I personally prefer CBT. Think about it like sorting out a hoarder's house. You don't do it all at once. You don't impose order without the house's owner's input and personal direction of the experience. You also don't start the project thinking it'll be over quickly.

You'll look online for therapists covered by your insurance (I can give you advice for getting insurance if this is also a problem), and then you'll look at their specializations. Everyone is better at some things than others, and therapists will list the subjects that they have the most experience in. You'll shop around, probably. You might not get along with the first person you see. You might need for your therapist to be of a certain gender. I prefer males so I can discuss my sensory issues without inadvertently calling a female therapist disgusting. You want someone you can connect with and speak to with complete honesty. They aren't allowed to share your name ever, and they can't give examples about you that are specific enough to identify you ever. That's against the law. They'll only step in if you're going to kill or hurt yourself or others, and even then people are pretty fucking cautious about that. Relevant link from same interesting blog below.

https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/11/05/the-right-to-waive-your-rights/

>>18122968
ayyyy bbby cum here and lemme gib u some luv from my peanus weanus! haha

>>18123160

Well, whatever happens, it will be one of the most non-threatening experiences in your life. You will inevitably wait in a soothingly colored room decorated in chipped and worn Pottery Barn bullshit. Everything will smell like fabric softener, or slightly chemical scented candles. There will be a bored receptionist who wishes they were not working. There will be a thick stack of paperwork that will ask you a series of medical information. Some of the symptoms on the list will seem inane, but fill it out accurately anyway. You'll wait for fifteen minutes after you've filled out your paperwork. Even a few clingy patients will build up a somewhat significant appointment lag. Someone with several letters surrounding their name in business casual will then make unusually not-awkward small talk with you. They won't tell you exactly what to do, but they will let you know what's in the mess in your head, help you unpack it and lay it all out. Then, you'll figure out the parts that are hurting you, and you'll figure out ways to make sure that you can work around those parts and make them a less and less significant part of the way you think about things and make decisions.

Eventually, people will act like you are completely healthy. But you will know that you're still working at it. But that's when you'll know that you've made some good progress.

>>18122968
im a guy and used girls for a similar reason. I wanted to outdo my dad who was a ladies man. in school I did it to look and feel cool. I never cared about any of them except for two. maybe that's why I'm depressed. I'm an aashole

>>18123175
A psychiatrist visit is almost identical to a therapist visit, but they will give you some broad-range medication choices, talk to you about side effects, and then walk you through the three month process of finding out if a certain med is right for you. As an example, I started out on lexapro. That shit is a general SSRI and is used to treat a lot of things. It's also pretty cheap. I stayed on it for a while, but didn't see much change after a sudden but small increase in productivity. After more discussion, I was weaned on to pristiq, and now I don't want to die even a little bit. It's neat.

>>18122968
The equivalent of someone who doesn't love themselves before they love someone else. Except it's the extreme opposite, you know just how attractive you are, so getting a guy isn't a challenge.

And since you've never been challenged, you were basically handed guys on a silver platter. So you don't appreciate 'em.

The way to fix this is to find a guy you truly appreciate, ironically. And the way to find him, is to find yourself first.

Really it isn't hard for a woman to go down this road, too easy in fact. A challenge would be, to stop dating for a few years (shock! years?) yes, years. Try it.

Nothing wrong with having standards. Looks are important in a relationship. Don't settle for all the fat, ugly men just because.

you seem to be incredibly insecure and thats why you need to reaffirm your worth to others (in an odd way)
maybe channel that by doing something else impressive, like a cool hobby or get a personality