How do I know if he wants just sex or a relationship with out

>>18121533
Well, as a man, I can tell you that I am interested in that talking and bonding stuff, but I'm also very interested in sex. I want to have sex with my girlfriend every day. She knows it, and sometimes I think her opinion is that I want it too much (but she has never said this directly), but it's just the way I am. I wouldn't be happy with a relationship without a lot of sex. So maybe he wants both, but he just wants sex more often than you do?

Guys normally don't like to open up about themselves directly. For us it's easier to find stuff out by trial and error, like, "oh I saw you listening to that song. I love that band!" Type of thing than just outright expressing it.

He sounds very physically affectionate though. I guess it depends on if you're comfy with that or not.

>>18121533
Some guys (most guys) don't really go for the monologue about themselves. They're generally more reserved.

But, the best way to know if he wants you for a relationship or just for sex is to make him wait. Be affectionate, make it clear that it's not because of lack of desire, and you'll get to fuck once you're sure - but make him wait.

>>18121575
>Guys normally don't like to open up about themselves directly
that's not the problem. the problem is he says he wants to get to know but doesn't ask me anything about my self it's always me asking him questions trying to learn things about him and he's pretty open w/ his answers. but he never asks me anything beyond generic question like "how was your day?" and even then it's only cause i just asked him that exact question....

so it's leading me to think he doesn't really give a shit about getting to know me and maybe just wants sex

>>18121608
wants to get to know me*

>>18121578
not exactly the issue here but still good advice thank you

b-bump :(

>>18121533
Hey OP, is there any reason why you wouldn't talk to him about what you want and what he's looking for?

And for what it's worth, at this point does it really matter what you think he wants? He doesn't really seem to be what you're looking for in terms of a relationship partner. While you can try to talk to him about what you'd like and see if he changes his behavior in any meaningful way, realistically his behavior now is going to pretty much be his behavior in the foreseeable future.

If you want a guy who wants to talk to you, share what's going on with him, and be interested in what's going on with you, that's probably not this dude.

>>18121900
>Hey OP, is there any reason why you wouldn't talk to him about what you want and what he's looking for?
mainly my doubt about him being invested at all in this, it would be embarrassing to ask this all for him to go, "of course i don't want a relationship" or something like that.

rejection basically...

>>18121608
You have a weird way of approaching the "getting to know each other" thing. Why do you believe the only way to do this is by asking questions? Do you do that to other people as well?
>Hey you seem nice, I want to be friends. What's your opinion on the war in Syria?
Sounds retarded tbqh. Life doesn't works like that.

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2MB, 390x205px

>>18121533

>but lately every time we hang out all he wants to do is make out

There's your first clue, dumdum.

Those aren't mutually exclusive.

>>18122852
how else do you get to know someone? what the hell... and it's not like I'm interrogating him all the time, we have normal convos that lead to the question asking but he doesn't reciprocate the same amount of interest in it.
>>18122855
yea true, but why go through all that just to fuck i'd rather download tinder.

4 dates and constantly hanging out is way too much work

"a baby is made when we fuck so i dont see why he is trying to fuck me i dont get it"

>>18122861
what??? elbaorate please

>>18122866
what does this even mean

>>18122869
This guy puts it well:>>18121568

i have the solution to your relationship, just keep your mouth shut and fuck him. he will ask you so many questions and talk to you, your welcome

>>18122875
ahhh gotcha but it's hard to tell if it's not mutually exclusive when you're not committed and in college, but i understand what you mean.

I'm just trying to avoid wasting my time, i will most likely end up asking him about it since there seems to be no real way to tell based off behavior

i'd rather be rejected than used

>>18122863
>How else do you get to know each other?
By spending time together? Things like noticing someone is moody on the mornings, or how they like humming when bored or that they get sad when they see animals in the street.

Or do you actually believe meme things like
>my favourite colour is red
>yeah personally im atheist-agnostic
>my zodiac is aries
Actually means anything at all on how much you know somebody?

>>18122879
no thanks, i told my self i would not fuck anyone unless I'm in a relationship with that person. i've done that before (fucking early) and it always ends the same way so fuck that.

>>18122890
absolutely yes their answers to questions means a lot obviously not stupid generic questions you listed but asking interesting things about them can help you get to know someone.

also those dumb observations can mean fuck all as well.

dont you think talking about it on 4chan ruins the point of the relationship

>>18122898
I don't agree. People don't know themselves more than what you know them. They have an idealized perception of themselves that's as biased as perception of other people. Asking questions is a stupid way to know somebody, the best way is just talking and spending time together, then drawing your own conclusions which will at least hold meaning for you.

People actions represent much more about someome than what they say. Hence why I used those examples. Someone who's moody in the mornings can't change that but he sure as hell can believe he isn't moody and actually say that.

>>18122910
nope, /adv/ is great i have been receiving lots of great advice from you guys for the past few months.

>>18122915
oh god the conspiracy is real end my fucking life they want us here TO MAKE MONEY FROM TALKING POINTLESSLY ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND TRUMP AND BOXXY

>>18122914
you're taking "asking question" at face value. like i said theres already a conversation going on before i ask questions, that's totally normal while talking to someone you want to know better. Yeah of course they can lie, they can tell you only what they want you to know, sure. It really depends on what you are asking them though. Usually it's about a common interest we share something not worth lying about in the first place.

I shouldn't have put so much emphasis on the question asking part. My observations of his actions shows he is not reciprocating the same amount of interest at all during our conversations.

GET ME OUT OF HERE IM TRAPPED IN THE MEME

>>18121533
He wants sex, even if he has to have a relationship in order to get sex.

>>18122930
Missing the point, its not necessarily about lying. People may simply believe to be something they are not, and say so when asked. Hence why I believe actions > words.

And the reason I put this much emphasis on the questions is because, as I said before, you seem to believe that this is the way you "get to know each other" and imply he's not interested in you because he doesn't uses this mechanism.

>>18122975
probably right

if he was as interested as i am in him i would't even have to make this thread

best if i just end it now before i get attached even more
>>18122983
good point