> be 21 , male and socially awkward. How to be more assertive

Why don't you listen to a bunch of pseudo intellectualised machismo from anonymous neets on the cesspit of the internet , that'll advise you to hate women, work out till you drop and blame society for your continued failings?

>>18120658

first, realize there are no consequences. you shape your own life and if things actually got bad you could pick up and move over and over again.

but the truth is that you wont have to. you are not an entirely bad person, so people have no reason to hate or bully you unless thats part of their own defect.

so talking to people, especially strangers, has no real consequences other than strangers saying random words.

once you can accept that there are no consequences, that the opinions of others literally don't affect your life unless you sit there and think about them, you realize tha tsocial anxiety is just another thrill, like a scary movie or a roller coaster, its just a rush people get when doing something ufn,

>>18120658
You have to accept that being socially awkward can be a permanent thing. Does it make it harder to socialise? Yes. Does it make it harder to get a gf? Yes. Does it make life much harder in general? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes

Oh well.

>>18120658
>>18120678
In other words, Just B Yourself :^)

>>18120699
nah it's more like "ur fucked m80"

I used to be in a similar position as you. I was around 18 at the time though I started to actually turn things around. This we'll mostly be "how to talk to people" rather than "be confident" but it has the same affect.

I suggest go on websites that let you talk to strangers (Omegle, or anything better than that). This really helps you improv conversations with strangers as a cold approach, and really test any "ice breakers" out.

Sometimes it helps to exaggerate or lie a little about things you did or seen to make things more interesting, but don't rely on this, and do it as mostly as filling the empty space. This is particularly easy texting or online since you can easily "pretend" to know about something or a band when you really don't. However in real life this is a bit harder to pull off.

If you're not comfortable with lying at all or perhaps need more tools in your belt spend your time reading current events or something "interesting" or "odd," while I don't suggest pulling up politics all the time it does help to have some lighthearted or wacky news brought up, again just filling empty space.

Really the most important thing is that you have an advantage over people. For almost 18 years I never had much substantial or normal conversations with people since I didn't really know how to. This lets you focus more on yourself and SHOULD rely less of on the attention of people. Really once you love yourself and just go do things you like things tend to be much easier and you care much less.

In social events or hanging out sometimes when you're completely out of stuff to say and thing have been going great for a few hours you should pull back and keep things on a good note. You don't really want to spend an extra hour with silence, especially on dates.

I haven't tried this but maybe finding some random people on Skype and just talking to them will get you to talk a little more.

>>18120658
Increase your circle of friends and acquaintances. Be around people you can relax with. Relaxation generates confidence.

Fake it 'til you make it.

>>18120658
Get a job or go back to school.

And stop watching anime all day.

>>18120678
>permanent
no, it's a matter of training, nowadays i can react way faster than I used to before

> harder
yes

>harder to get a GF
if you train socialising, then it's not much harder, it just changes the group of girls that like you, but quiet guys tend to be seen way more trustworthy, with what extroverted guys often struggle.

>much harder
harder to resist the tempting depression, yes, much easier if you enjoy things and don't want to be distrubed during that

>Is it unfair
if you call a lack of choice unfair, then yes. But I personally like myself the way I am

>>18120888
that does not apply to social skills because that is a social skill.
>box in the championship until you're a champion boxer
1. that's not going to help
2. you'll get punched real bad

>>18120991
>but quiet guys tend to be seen way more trustworthy
Not that guy, but what the fuck does that count for? Quiet guys are seen as boring by girls.

>>18121023
as I said, it shifts the group of girls, that are interested in you.
If a girl prefers deep talks over trash talking, then there is no boringness.

And trustworthyness counts for a lot, if a girl is looking for a BF, trustworthyness is the first thing she checks for, only then she will let a man close enough to let him also trigger her desire, both are needed to start a relationship.

Source: my GF

>>18121034
>trusting what women tell you about their desires

KEK!

>>18120675
That's some good advice dude

File: 1487730004619.jpg (70KB, 400x388px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 400x388px

>>18120675
damn...

>>18120658
Have Chad friends that believe in you