My only regret is that I never found all of Prince's lost

H,

5 years. Still crushing hard on you. Fuck is wrong with me.

C

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i'm so in love with this girl it hurts. we're literally made for each other. we like the same stuff, we have similar music tastes, we have the same sense of humor, we can have long lengthy conversations, hell even our zodiac signs are the most compatible together.

but she's got an academic career and i don't. and she says she's not interested in romance. but she has a crush on her professor. and she's asexual. and she's almost 2 years older than me. and i'm just some moron she used to hang out with and now just have conversations with on skype. all i want is to be with her forever but i'm not sure if she would want that at all. i'm still alive for her and for her only and i don't know how to cope with it at all.

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Like, dude, I require *a lot* of space. Give me space... You're cash in the sense we have a great time together but what's killing me is: I like fitness and bettering myself so much more than you ever will. You're lazy and make so many excuses not to hit the gym with me and have 0 motivation to go by yourself..... It's such a downgrade from my last even if he was an abusive pos. I need time to think and consider "our future together"..... please workout. I'm so unattracted to you and you can whip yourself into shape quickly if you tried. I know you can. Fuck, man.

I feel like only alcohol could bring back my emotions now. There are several alcoholics in my family, though, so I can't try that. Just got to get through life feeling nothing, I suppose.

I feel incredibly alone in my fight to prove my dad's innocence. He was falsely accused of sexually assaulting a woman, despite no evidence at all. He was drinking in a large group, couldn't remember anything. When he realized his wallet with over $800 was stolen and asked the woman and her bf if they knew anything about his missing wallet, that's when they went to the police and made the allegations. How convenient for them. Got a even more money out of the lie when the case was finished too. He was pretty trapped because the prosecutor scaremongered him into pleading guilty, told him he wouldn't see his 8 year old daughter, my youngest sister, until she was 18 if he pleaded innocent. So he pleaded guilty thinking it was the right thing to do for his kids. But they decided to punish him for waiting a year to change his plea from innocent to guilty. My Dad got 6 years, I only get to hear his voice for 5 minutes on the phone when he's given permission to call family. I lost so many "friends" over this, didn't realize how many people turned into biased, hardcore feminists overnight and how I'm wrong to believe in my Dad and he "deserves" to be in there... I'm full of so much anger over this, how can anyone expect me to be a feminist when my father who never laid a hand on me is in jail for a crime he didn't commit, but my alcoholic mother got away with beating the shit out of me for 9 years?

I'm all for equality, but christ.

It hurts that nobody believes me. I see that woman and her boyfriend's facebook profiles and how they've gone on lots of vacations together, always drinking and flipping the bird in their pictures, doing great. If I was really "traumatized" by a sexual assault I would never drink again. How they sleep at night is beyond me. My siblings are in so much pain over it, I've never wanted to hurt two people more in my life. I truly hope karma exists.

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Listen, I know you care a lot about me. You kind of have to. But for god's sake you can be so unbelievably overbearing and pushy with stuff I find it difficult to talk to you.

I know I'm the one who applied to the job in England, but I didn't think I would get it, nobody was sure if I would. But the instant I do get it, you immediately tell my girlfriend behind my back that she can look for other roommates if (or in your head "when") I go over. I dont care how well-intentioned you were, it's still a super shitty thing to say when you know we've been together for 5 years.

I'm glad I have your eternal support and care, but you still dont seem to understand my own priorities and goals completely after 22 years.

H,
It's been a month since things...happened and I still think of you. I'm still hurt, I'm still kind of mad, but most of all, I miss you. It's occurred to me that I owe you an apology just as much as I feel like owe me one.
Things went too fast for you and I was so caught up in my need and longing that I ignored that. After all, you seemed just as into it. Then out of nowhere you ended it all, leaving me angry, hurt and bereft. The way you exited was especially painful, but now I think we should show each other a little mercy. I want us to go forward peacefully if for no other reason than this distant resentment is too painful to bear.

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Everytime I see someone have sex or hint at sex I get depressed because it's something I have not experienced with someone.

I haven't had sex in over two years, and on Thursday I'm having a threesome with the two best fucks of my life.

I fucking risked my life for a vacuum cleaner at a minimum wage paying job today. I feel like I'm trying to hard at this shit.

K,
Funny how a simple cold is stopped me from calling you, I'm afraid on getting you sick too. Cuddling, sex and talk can wait after health I guess.

"I wish I'd been nicer to him"

Yeah, right. I wish you'd been nicer to US by actually telling us how you felt. Instead you went and left us with that. Fuck you, you selfish prick. Stay dead.

I wish I could at least glimpse into what life would have been like with you A. I never had the courage to ask you out, and the girl I'm dating was essentially just a placeholder for my overwhelming emotions that went unexpressed when you started dating him. I don't know how long I'll be in this relationship for, but I can't stop thinking about you and I know were too far apart now and have been dating different people for too long. If this is how it was meant to be maybe it's for the best. I'm sorry

>>18119463
You're not emotionless Anon. You're numb right now. That's the worst kind of pain. Be kind to yourself and be patient with yourself. Give yourself time and take care of yourself.

I fucked up by pushing you away as a way to protect myself from being hurt by rejection. Ironically my acting disinterested might have been what lead up to the rejection. I know I can't take back my actions, but I just want you to know that I still like you a lot and I miss you. I hope we can see each other again some time this semester or the next, but I understand if you don't.

>>18119365
Look for "Work it 2.0" or "The Work" OP

>>18120124
Thank you for the support. What can I do to help myself?

>>18120133
Initials?

>>18120151
It depends on your situation Anon. Want to talk about why you feel numb?

>>18120158
J.C

>>18119365
I have a blood-boiling HATRED for my brother.

This isn't sibling rivalry, my brother is a legitimately bad person. And not in a cool way, like drug dealer or assassin. He's just the hugest cunt, most pathetic human being who has ever existed.

>24, still living with us (I'm 21)
>treats everyone in the house like shit
>yells at us for the simplest things
>thinks he's entitled to everything because he pays rent (doesn't have to pay for utilities, food, or luxuries like internet)
>leaves rotting food under his bed
>share a room with him, it smells like a homeless guy's shopping cart because of him
>starts screaming when something doesn't go his way
>threatens to fight us if we do anything
>swears at my mom, disrespects her
>Dad left my mom, brother couldn't give less of a shit, still treats her like garbage
The only reason I havent beaten up with a pillow case full of soap is because my mom asked me to NEVER fight him. I love her too much to disobey her with that, I know it'd break her heart to see her kids fighting.

I hate him with every fiber of my being. I wish I was never stuck with such a pathetic worm of a brother.

>>18120168
I wish you the best Anon. I wish you were mine but you're not.

>>18120164
Well, okay. Over the past few years, I've stopped liking everything I used to like, ranging from big things like youtube videos and literature to small things like the sound of falling rain. My only remaining interest is music, but that seems to be fading too. Where once I was able to take refuge in music, it now sounds dry. Relistening to any of my favorite albums from just last year sounds like nothing to me.

Last year, I moved out of my childhood home and my parents divorced (I'm 18, was a minor at the time). I believe this had an effect, but losing interest in stuff was a problem even before that. The only cause I can imagine was the screaming matches I had with my father, but I don't think those were traumatic enough or frequent enough to make me numb.

I've tried exercising, seeing a therapist, and meditating, but so far nothing has worked.

All you have done is show your hand and now I know you're involved. Thank you for playing into my disinformation. You failed once again.

>>18120181
I'm sorry those things have happened, Anon. You sound like you're in a huge amount of pain. For me, when I lose feeling and go numb, it just takes time for me for when my emotions come crashing back unexpectedly. No matter how much I try to force them to come back they just don't. What works for me is to just keep sticking to my routine, making sure I'm eating and showering, and I make sure to keep talking with those I love. Do you feel like you want to get away from everyone and just be alone?

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WAAAAAAALK IIIIIN THE RHYTHM

I feel empty inside. It's like there's a hole where normal emotion and energy should be but isn't. I see others accomplishing their goals and going about their lives and I scurry about as well but it is different, in a fundamental way. Humans have passions but I do not seem to have any passion for anything anymore. I used to, years ago, but it is gone now. My friends have noticed and a few have commented about it but I have nothing productive to say to them, I cannot make them understand.

At first I thought it was a product of my illness (schizoaffective, taking anti-depressants and anti-psychotics for it) but as the medicines have taken effect I feel that there's something more fundamentally wrong with me since nothing can give me a sense of passion or a rush of energy. It is like living in a fog constantly and nothing can show me the way out of it. I do not drink or do drugs, I am dieting and trying to be more active, I am focusing on those things that once brought me happiness, but nothing helps and I am at a loss for how to proceed.

It's nice to air the issues, even if they cannot be helped. Thanks, /adv/, for listening.

>>18120205
I do like to be alone. I don't feel any pain, however. It's possible I made myself numb without knowing it over time (I had a rough late childhood), but it could just as easily be genetic, since I know my mother has had bouts with depression. Until recently, I've hesitated to even use the term "depression" since I'm able to get through the day easily if I need to. But I see how numb I am to all the world - like, my mom nearly overdosed on Christmas Eve and I couldn't muster up a sense of panic or compassion even though I should have. I still feel some things, but I see them disappearing as the days go by, and in a few years I may end up totally hollow.

>>18120237
I understand. I've made myself numb before in the past. Sometimes my numbness just happens when I least expect it. I've suffered from depression for many years and it wasn't until this past December I actually accepted it. I used to describe myself as hollow, an empty shell of a human being. What do you think you need most right now?

>>18120244
I honestly don't know. Earlier today I concluded that I need meds, but in other places I've read that antidepressants can't cure Anhedonia. The best thing would probably be a good therapist, since I've never had a real role model in life nor someone to reach out to. That's part of my problem, I bet.

Someone on /adv/ once told me that getting a job and exercising lifted him out of his numb state, and so I got a job. I start Monday. From now I'll have much less free time, but it'll be more physical stimulation, and I'll have money for once. Hopefully that does something.

>>18120255
Have you been diagnosed with anhedonia or depression? I didn't want to take meds at first and resisted but, I finally relented and I've been on meds for the past five months. It's made things more manageable to be honest. I'd advise you to stop thinking in terms of "curing" yourself but rather look to accept yourself as you are while you're struggling with this. I know it sounds super shitty cliché but it's true. Things aren't easier for me but, things have more meaning for me, I'm not just a hollow shell anymore. I still get irritated when I go numb, but I'm moving forward.

>>18120280
No, I haven't been diagnosed. My insurance is out currently, but it's due to be renewed in April, and I plan on seeing a doctor ASAP.

>I'd advise you to stop thinking in terms of "curing" yourself but rather look to accept yourself as you are
I can do that. It's my default state, really. One of the confusing things about mental illness is how it divides and conquers people. No one I talk to ever has the exact same problem as me, but other issues as well that I can't relate to at all.

I guess that's unimportant. It's good that you're improving, good luck to you.

4th year, still loving her, still too much of a pussy to ask her out.

Always crashing at the same car.

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I lacked the motivation to do anything before finding my waifu. Now I do it for her. I lost weight, got fit, and went to college for her. I have no idea what adverse effects this will have on my 3D social life but I fear it is too late for me to recover from this obsession or personality disorder I fostered and encouraged.

>>18120292
Thank you. I wouldn't say I'm improving, rather I'd say I'm just learning how to manage and move forward. And why would you say this is unimportant?
>>I can do that. It's my default state, really. One of the confusing things about mental illness is how it divides and conquers people. No one I talk to ever has the exact same problem as me, but other issues as well that I can't relate to at all.
Nobody is ever going to have the exact same mental issue as you are Anon. Everyone is different. I hope you can know and take comfort in knowing that regardless, you're not alone in your struggle- even if you feel alone. Sharing how you feel or don't feel is important. Your thoughts and emotions have value. You have value. I know it sounds silly, especially coming from some anonymous stranger on the web. I believe it though.

I don't know if you're in the States or not but if you are you could go to Nami.org and find a cheap or free counselling centre on their website near you.

>>18120312
Thank you for the link. It looks like they're too far away to visit currently, but I am interested. How do they compare to a regular therapist?

Honestly, I am seeing a kind of therapist right now, but it's not helping at all. He's an elderly religious man that volunteered to help me from the church I used to visit. I appreciate his efforts, but he doesn't really do more than make small-talk with me while I try and figure things out. I hope it wouldn't be like that.

>>18119396
>she says she's not interested in romance.
>but she has a crush on her professor.
She probably doesn't like you..."crush" on her professor...
.>she's asexual
Hmm...who knows could be true or a lie...

I hate that I have no job and I'm just tired of feeling like crap.

I have a degree in a field i can get a job in. But it's hard to sell myself when I've only had one internship and it's been a year since I graduated.

I don't know what I expected after my sole mission between birth to 25 was to get an education, but now I just want to off myself like I'm back in 2007 when emo shit was the norm

>>18120330
You're welcome :) and they're a good place to go to when you're waiting to see a psychiatrist or licensed counselor. When I was in my psychiatric hospital, they came to speak with us and share with us what kind of inexpensive and free services they offer. They're a peer support group and advocate group, pushing for legislation to be put through that helps instead of hindering those of us with mental disorders.

I can relate to that kind of therapy. Before I attempted suicide, I was seeing a kind of therapist who also wouldnjust make small talk with me for a couple of hours and then tell me to keep writing in my journal. Obviously, it wasn't helpful since I tried killing myself. My point is, do what you can to take care of your health. Too many people forget that mental and emotional health is just as important as physical health.

If you ever want to talk more about anything I've got this email I check every so often: [email protected]

I wish you all the best Anon. Have a good night and never give up.

>>18120350
Thank you, I'm glad I'm not alone with this. Good luck with your issue too.

I am so, so lonely. I wish I wasn't so unmotivated, and my situation looks so bleak. I keep considering ending it because I will never measure up to society's standards. If I don't get someone who can whip me into shape I'm done for.

>>18120139
You have no idea how much you simplified my work. Holy fuck, thank you.

Now, I'm just upset that there's no torrents of these, but 50 bucks for Work It 2.0 isn't so bad.

>>18120331
i haven't confessed how i feel about her yet. right now we're still just good friends.

>>18120336
Hope it gets better for you anon

I hope you get horrible nightmares from all the mental and physical torture I've enacted on you because you are an ugly piece of shit with nothing of value to contribute to society. Your fat ugly wife is disgusting as always.

>>18120391
Well good luck and may you end up in a good relationship!

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>>18120439
thank you kind anon. i wish you just as much luck in whatever you may be pursuing in life.

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I need help. I need help because I'm going to graduate next spring and I want to show more than a B.S in Environmental Geological Sciences and a quarter of research. Given this schedule, what else should I do to make myself more employable? More research, an internship? Looking to be an geochemist, hydrogeologist, or an oceanographer.

I can't keep dwelling on this shit, and I can't get a hold of my advisor. Please anyone who knows a thing or two about internships during college let me know your advice.

>>18120448
Which would you be comfortable doing?
Would the internship give you an insight on what you would be doing in your career work, give skills or help you earn those skills, experience?

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i'm an autist and still have feelings for a girl that left me for another man 4 months ago.
i know im going to find someone better if i live long enough, but it wont be for atleast another 2 months when i get un-fat (down 43 pounds already) but until then i still think about ways to get her back even though i'd be miserable with her, because she still thinks shes done nothing wrong despite all of her girlfriends rushing to my side.

>>18120460
Help me earn those skills and experience absolutely. Working closely with professors and local businesses in the field would be great

I have nothing to contribute to a relationship besides a listening ear and some weed.

Girls on Tinder are on some next level shit in terms of the decadent things they do in their spare time and might have the egos to match.

I just want a girl to enjoy being unemployed with

Dear H,

I wish I were with you right now. We could work together - make our own studio and earn shit loads of cash. Most of all, my presence may give you reason to live again. We both are victims of this never ending turmoil, and because of it, we will never be able to live a peaceful life. Memories of war will crawl back in our skin, even if we leave this place forever - it's a curse to be born here. Last year alone, we were locked in our houses for more than 6 months; it was worse than being in a jail. Truly, our lives are a waste; you look around, you see people - defeated faces of our people, and it can be really depressing. A layer of melancholy enshrouds this valley - and to hope for a better future is pretty foolish, it seems.

My friend, you are depressed, and you need a doctor to help you. As much as I want to be with you, I can't. I have a responsibility: my mentally ill sister - and this fragile family of mine. I want to give her the future she deserves - she has suffered a lot these years. She is back in college again, and learning is incredibly difficult for her - she suffered psychosis, as you know. I hope things go well with her. May god help her.

I keep pushing people away from me and I think it is the only way to...I don't know, move forward in life, towards something better and deserving? People here( also elsewhere) are really bad; they drain your energy, destroy your strength, and most importantly, your soul. I want to be alone; no friends(except for you), no girlfriends(and yes, Z, was my Internet "girlfriend". Sorry for lying. It was really embarrassing). I pissed off a lot people just so that they could hate me. And that gives me reason enough to stop thinking/caring about them, and as you said, I care too much - I am trying not to, from now on. I had become too weak, and I can assure you that, I am regaining my inner strength now.

I hope things are going well with you. And please don't kill yourself.

Yours truly,

S

ii feel like a boring writer.

Peopel give me notes, and i love criticism because its better than someone just saying 'its good. criticism at least tells me im on the right track.

but its been so long since someones been excited about my scripts.

I know now I can never again try to talk to you or even look at you. You pretend I'm dead, and I have to pretend your dead until one or the other or both of us or the world is fucking dead. Fuck you, stupid whore. I know that you're not a sociopath and you're not actually stupid. But what you're doing is stupid and it's mean. You know I care and you hate me for it. You don't even fucking know me and you hate me. You walk right by me like I'm a fucking ghost when you don't have to just to hurt me. What good does that do you? Look me in the eye, motherfucker. So you tricked me a long time ago and I fucking fell for it because I'm a miserable bitch, then you went all autistic on my ass and acted like I did something wrong. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. You're not normal. You're not even close to fucking normal you dare to keep on fucking with me when all I want is for you to act like a fucking human being and not some kind of something that you're not, really. You're not even like this. You know how I know? Because if you were really like this you could look me in the eye. And if you were really like this I wouldn't give a fuck. I got knives in me like you won't believe from better than you but you twist it. I get it, you fucking hate me because I'm not like the other dead-eyed basic bar bitches you are comfortable with. I would have been your friend, actually, if you weren't so fucked up. Fuck you forever for making the world a worse place.

The sad things is, if I found another job, you wouldn't talk to me anymore.
I'm more alone than anything and I wish I could be with you.

I'm sorry I dropped out of college and we're living the way we are now. Had I just completed the degree I could have bought you something to get away from this hell town. You deserve better than this for sacrificing all your youth to raise two stupid ass kids with deadbeat dads.
I can't guarantee you relief from the debt my brother put you in but I'm glad I could avoid putting you in any for mine. I'll make sure you don't die here. Love ya mom

>>18120714
damn, feels like i could have wrote that myself anon

Hey, fuck you Leslie you gaslighting piece of shit bitch. You get so fucking competitive in board games you are willing to lie and cheat to win. And when someone reminds you of the rules you feign ignorance. Fuck you for being inconsiderate of others and fuck you for trying to make them look like they made the mistake. Go swallow shit whole, choke on it, and throw it all back up onto your board games.

i want to sleep god damn. I wake up every hour the same hour every night. At least in sleeping I don't have to remember everything being fucked up.

damn it Wendy why. Let me love you

>>18120389
Yeah torrents were hard to come by, I got mine from newsgroups or forums back in the day. "TheRoyalHub" was one but no idea if it's still around. Good luck~

I thought I could get over my ex by fucking other guys. I fucked 2 in a few days, barely any contact with either afterwards. I feel alienated and unloved.

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ever since i met you i feel myself getting lonelier as each day passes by me
i think we've both accepted that we aren't meant for each other but i can't help but sometimes long for you when you're the only girl who has ever cared about me this much
sometimes it just hurts so much knowing how long i will have to wait before i find someone i click with the way i did with you

thank you for showing me another side to life even if it riddled me with anxiety and depression learning to accept it

(1) how could you do this to me? you must have know better. you now i cared about you, more than i can ever care for everything or anyone in this entire world.
I remember the day i met you as if it was yesterday, i had to chance schools because i failed at everything. And there was you.
from that moment i knew you where the one, and i was lucky i guess, you thought the same about me. but you know, it was my first relationship. i didn't know shit.
i didn't know how to act, how to keep you. so we broke up.
i was hurt, i was broken. notthing mattered anymore to me. started to have fights with everyone and lost them al. but i couldn't care less.
Untin you sended that message. your boyfriend started using violence against you. and i stood up for you. bet you don't even know about what i wanted to do to him.
never been more angry in my entire life, because that was the moment i first started to care again.
you asked me for help, so i did. i did everything i could to make sure he couldn't hurt you anymore, but you never wanted to break up with him. you kept walking to him again and again.
getting hurt again and again.

(2) for me it felt good you contacted me whenever you felt completely numb. so i could come over, see you face, and cheer you up again. we were good friends again.
and i felt in love again. so i started to act grown up. started getting better grades, so maybe you could fall in love with me again.
And you did, you broke up with the guy and we started to hang out every second possible. i was happy, and i thought you were too..
but were you. the fights came more and more. but we always came out stronger, i thought.
Until the day you went offline. didn't answered at my messages, my phone calls, nothing.
It took the entire day. where were you? after a while you answered, said to me i didn't had to worry.
but you were spotted by my friends, so i heard it. you where there, you contacted your ex boyfriend again. and you meeted each other again.
Why, what is it with this guy? he hurted you. litteraly. but after a few days you were gone. forever. you even said goodbye to all your friends.
you got an relation with this guy again..
do you know how much effort it cost me to make sure this guy was out of your life? how much pain it did me everytime he hurted you
you don't now right?
i think you don't even want to know.
you left me all alone. broken in a million pieces.
not able to trust anyone anymore,
not giving a shit about anything anymore.
why?

>>18121736
Haha, dumb fucking slut.
Love whores like you, such an easy lay.

I have nothing against women whatsoever but... 'Bitches Ain't Shit' is my favorite song.

>>1812081
Keep going for her, she sounds like a lovely lady regardless of what she's been through

I do not want to be traditionally successful.

I want to be a rich NEET druggie.

I really want to meet with you and talk, but I understand that you can't.

Either way, I leave this all up to you. Whenever you wish to, please let me know. Until then, I'll try not to bother you with this because I don't want take the focus required to deal with your training. Take care, and keep working hard.

>mom loses job
>dad gets two more
>mom continues to spend money (like a lot of fucking money) without contributing to household
>mom opens some account in his name and fucks his credit
>mom steals my identity and lies to brother to get money for herself
>mom skips out on holidays and uses her dead mother as an excuse
>mom doesn't do her own laundry, clean her dishes, or clean her half of their room
>leaves used personal items all over the shared bathroom

I think she was using douches and then throwing them into the lower shelf out of sight instead of in the trashcan. I cleaned the bathroom the other day and found a lot of them.

>had to put family dog down two days before Christmas
>dad is especially hurt it, was his dog and he couldn't afford it, I had to pay for it
>mom goes on out of state camping trip the next morning
>decides she doesn't want to come back
>hope that she'll move on and dad can cut down on the amount of time he works
>she moves in with male friend none of us have ever met but they both get kicked out
>she spends the money dad gives her on something other than the car she needs to get fixed
>dad cant cut her off because he\ll look bad in court

My biggest concerns
>she'll end up bringing whatshisname and they'll both move in here
>she win out in court and my dad will get fucked over financially which he doesn't deserve

I don't understand people who enjoy lemon meringue pie. Can someone please explain?

>m26
>lawyer (Not USA)
>in august I get my Masters in Tax Law
>great in this field
>dream to be in biotech and actually help humanity

I'm 8 years late

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Well today my parents were arguing and it turns out I apparently have a half sister. Don't really know what to do with this information. She grew up poor and is most likely a hood rat while I grew up privileged. Just needed to tell someone.

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Anime is so boring.
Japan used to be my dream, but i went there once and saw it, and then.. well. That was fun but i was 10 year too old and no firends there to enjoy it with.

I can understand that aki habara is a dream world for a 16 yr old kid, but for me, even though it was fun and bought some shit, it was still all... well, i would have been more impressed by going to a shop selling motorcycles probably.

Fuck yeah, motorcycles, the crone, the frame. It all make you fucking cum, almost like naked lolis, but you need both in your life.

Adult toys. I just wish i could afford them!

>>18122090I do otherwise
Well I've never had lemon meringue pie, but I do otherwise love lemon based desserts. Lemon is pretty great.

I hate white people. There I said it.

>>18122412
You should be grateful that we haven't wiped you off this Earth and you should be grateful for all the inventions White people have provided.

>>18122417
You should be grateful too. Stop acting like you belong in a higher hierarchy just because of the great minds of your race. It's pathetic. No one owes you nada.

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>>18122168
Grade A cum dumpster material, if you ask me. Thank me later.

>>18122168
that's pretty fucked up dude. do you know where she is?

>>18122431
I never claimed that anyone owed me anything unlike the certain race of ''people''.

>>18122437
Some were in the southside of the city I live. Not gonna ask since my Dad is not the type of person to mess around with questions like that.

>>18122480
that sucks. hope you can set things right someday.

yo idk why you're texting me to the point of being creepy and I've had to block your number. we were literally just having sex, it was not a relationship nor anything deeper.

I always thought I was the one who was supposed to pine after my FWB's, not the other way around. Do I really fucking owe you an explanation as to why I cut this off over half a year ago??? Because here it is: You're a misogynist Trump supporter and that just does not jive with who I am at all.

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>>18122515
Idk she probably would hate me. I got the good life she didn't. According to my father we are two totally different people. For better or for worse I do not know and will most likely never know. I don't even know her name. I'd like to think she's a better person than me though.

Dear W.

I crush on you. Hard. I smile like an idiot when I think about you. I miss you even if we don't see each other for just a day. To be honest, if we decide to binge watch something this Friday, I'll probably confess my feelings to You. I don't want to ruin things by being too quick, but it almost seems wrong that were not a couple already. I hope that you feel the same and are just shy, just like me.

Few weeks ago I knew that if it didn't work out I could just be your friend and live with it.
Now I'm not so sure.

Please say yes.

Isolation really is strange. The last time I had a friend was five years ago, and since then I've been completely alone outside of societal obligations. It's really not so bad, but a part of me does feel as if I'm not "living". For instance, when I played CLANNAD, the sensation of sharing your life with other people was amazing. It imbued the mundane (read: life in general) with a sense of meaning. Even if your trajectory is unclear, you're in it together, and it feels wonderful. You also feel like a part of the world, not an observer. There was an acquaintance of mine I spoke with during an after-school club activity, and he mentioned how he had friends in Sweden and some other country. I thought it was strange, because in my mind, most things (including people) are only observed, not interacted with. It seemed to be an amazing privilege, but now I realize that it's reality for most people. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand why normalfags are always so happy, but I know that companionship is like a lasting sensation of happiness, and I get it.

Nowadays, I'm very far from my goal. Even when I do talk to people, it doesn't feel good like it once did. But I have hope I'll feel normal again some day, because if I can get that sensation back, I'll be happy.

How can I overcome my social anxiety?

My gf dumped me and I was living with her. Now I am at a shared house since tuesday, with like 10 rooms and 15 people living in them. Everyone works and so on, but they also hang out down stairs and chill. Never once did I go there. In my first day, I didn't even got out to eat or shower, took me two days to take a shit. I spend all day either out of the house or in my room, occasionally I meet one of them with "hey". I also shower only when people are asleep or gone. I could go there, but I don't. Tomorrow I'll have to use the laundry. Of course I'll be a selfish idiot to only go there when I need something from them.

On another thing, I met a girl in the middle of the week at a bar, we were with our own friends, and the groups merged a bit, but nothing happened. We exchanged facebooks and she ended up with my lighter. Could I talk to her? I could. But then I just can't.

I have a facebook but barely post anything or like and comment other stuff, I just browse. And for a while I'd say it's because "facebook is crap, fuck facebook!", but I know this is an excuse (even if true). I know I don't post anything simply because I don't want to appear to others.

My eyes run like crazy with other people and I walk through the streets with my head down. I feel I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm more and more anxious if people are interested in me. I'd be less nervous if I was robbed than if someone was flirting with me.

How do I beat this?

>>18122970
>CLANNAD

CLANNAD will wreck your fucking life, man. It killed me

>>18123055
Tell more? I only finished the route with the little sister (Kyou? Ryou? One of them), and I really liked it. I quit because the route ended too soon, but apparently that's one of the shortest and least interesting in the game. How are the rest?

Eg savn deg

N

GF broke up with me yesterday. She and I were really close, no hint of a problem. We talked all the time, always very loving, healthy sexually. I was just fucking blindsided.

Now, I feel alone. I always talked to her about my life, my problems, and she did the same for me. Now I feel like I have nobody to talk to.

Shit, today is the first time I've been on /adv/ in close to 5 years. That's how alone I feel.

>>18123057
The Nagisa route is the longest, and best. Including an epilogue about your married life (After Story), it seriously emotionally affected me.

If you don't want to replay it, the Anime follows the Nagisa route + some bits and pieces added. And I think the Japanese voice actors are the same as the game. Probably my top 10 personal anime. I like it even more than the game.

>>18123067
I'll watch the anime then, thanks for giving me something to do.

I got back from a work trip today, ready to visit my parents because it's been a few days. Instead, they told me I was a disappointment that hasn't accomplished anything. It really hurt me because I've had issues with depression and feeling like a failure anyway. I have 2 older siblings, but I'm the only one who's been there for them for years, helping them when I can with a smile on my face. I've also completed college, I work multiple jobs, and I own my own home and car. I finally felt really good and like things were looking up, but now feel like shit.

>>18123096
dont let your parents keep you down, you got a job, a house and a car. not many people can say that have all 3.

What happened to the letter threads? I see get it off your chest came back but just curious what happened to the letters? Wondering if that one prick who wrote novel after novel about his 'baby' ruined it for us all? Lol

>>18122726
Go find out, Anon. Some questions are worth answering.

>>18122978
Find something you enjoy. Not something super-public that requires partners or anything, but something that gets done around other people. Chess in the park. Fitness. Hell, woodworking. One day you'll be going on, enjoying yourself, and you'll just start having a conversation with somebody. It'll feel effortless. Like it should.

a friend keeps sending me random pictures of photography he takes, its getting kind of tedious. Would it be rude to ignore the texts of his photos? I usually just say something like 'photo looks good'

Every night when I try to sleep, memories past haunt me and it makes my dreams twisted and sad. How do I just get to sleep like a normal person?! I wish I could finally sleep and not wake up.

To me,
You are pathetic. You seek women from a distance, but even if they approach you, you reject them. Maybe it's something deep inside, but who knows.
If dubs, you have to talk to the cute girl in your class, if not dubs, then still do it.
-from me

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You had one job. You had ONE FUCKING JOB. It was simple. It was easy. Any idiot could've done it. It was just four itty-bitty little words: Don't. Catch. The feels. It was literally the one thing I asked you not to do, and you did it. You're a disgrace. You're an embarrassment. I'm ashamed to admit to my relationship with you. Fuck you, brain.

I miss having friends, and I miss knowing how and where to make them. I'm going through so much shit right now and I could really use someone to talk to.

>>18123587
I'm here for you anon. If you need to vent, just reply to me. I come back on these threads so god damn much.

>>18123654
Thank you. I'm going through a really bad part in a very long term relationship that's probably going to lead to a breakup, work related stress, a pretty big betrayal from people I used to consider friends, and more besides. I'm struggling to make friends at work and forgetting more and more how to go beyond small talk with people- talking literally just about the weather or work and failing to think of any other subjects or ways to add onto the ones they talk about. And I'm struggling with my depression, not surprisingly considering everything else I have on my plate. I still have one person (online) who I can talk to about all this, but he doesn't usually know what to say and he's obviously not available all the time to listen.

I could have gone to my dream college if I stood up to my dad and said I was going to apply early. They happened to take 27% that year and mostly from my state, as opposed to their 10% normal acceptance rate.

I need a direction. Please just show me the way and I'll do the rest

>>18123690
What do you feel like you're missing in life?

All I hope for right now is for me to not break under the pressure, stay motivated and strong in accomplishing shit, and to be honest.

Because I can't take those horrible moments of self-loathing ever again.

there was a hair or string somewhere in my eye for the past few months and holy fuck it just came out
HNNNNGGGGGGGG it feels so good

i don't have any empathy for people but i still give a shit what they think of me

it's like the worst possible outcome

>>18120848
someones not good at monopoly

>>18123368
he migrated over to /r9k/ and makes them there

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the thought that the world is fucking huge and iv only like been to probably less than 1% of it motivates the shit out of me, i just light up when i think about the world, idk this fascination but damn it feels super fucking good.

Yeah, man, I know, you're over her. You don't care about her. You stopped talking to her 2 months ago for the fifth time and you don't even care what she's up to. You told me this already. You told me the last few times you stopped caring and were totally done with her too. Good job moving on. And thanks for offering unsolicited reminders of how little you care every time we hang out.

Wait, she talked to you again? And you don't care at all because she's a lying bitch using you when her boyfriend isn't around, so you told her to fuck off right? No wait, I got that wrong. You're hanging out with her. Again. This has been going on for over a year now. What the fuck are you doing?

I've told you what a bad idea this is over and over, but at some point you've got to decide to actually move on.

--Concerned Bro

https://youtu.be/1CurN2Fg-2E

Overdosing on over thinking. Again.

I finally understand why men kill themselves after having a woman walk out on them.
It's fucking impossible to stop thinking about you. It's been months since we seen each other, you have given me no sign of wanting to get back together, but yet you continue to reply to my messages. You wont answer my phone calls though or make time to get together and talk. I'm starting to think you are simply playing with me. I get that you very busy, but something seems excessive here.

I can't stop thinking about you, in my dreams I see you, almost hear your voice. During the day, at work, at rest, I think of you. Think of texting or calling. Only to have you reply lamely a week atfer. You have yet given me any word that we are through, but I have to take your actions as hints. Why am I clinging on to hope? To nothing.

I want to want stop my brain and these thoughts of you. I want bash my head against a wall, or blow my brains out as to stop the thinking. I'm tired, so tired of all this. I want to know what you want, but I think I already know what you want. You just won't give me the closure. I need to stop contacting you, I need to stop because you'll continue to just talk once in a while. You won't end it, so I have to. I don't want to be just friends if that's what you are trying to set up.

We can only be together, or strangers.
If the former, I am willing to work things out, if the latter, fine I will accept it but you need to tell me it's over. I can't take these "maybes" as word.

Help.

>>18124182
Yeah that's really being a bitch of her letting you keep hanging and doesn't explain why she can't do it anymore. I hate it when girls (F here) do that, I mean yes you need some time alone and/or you don't wanna talk anymore but at least tell them that "it's over" instead of leaving them full of unanswered questions that would fuck their minds out to death.

>>18124182
bro just call her or talk to her face-to-face. she's probably just being passive aggressive.

>>18122528
>You're a misogynist Trump supporter and that just does not jive with who I am at all.
>still fucked him
Jesus, women really are retarded.

Each day moving forward doing what I need to do for me gets tiresome, tedious. The pain still remains though it's dulled by the meds. What kind of existence is this? I find myself wishing to die more and more like before. I even looked up most lethal ways to do it. I'm disappointed in myself. I thought for a short time I could do this thing called living. Now I'm not so sure.

>>18124331
Hang on, friend. You'll get there.

my mom is really afraid of me being gay and told me not to be gay and im not gay but now i want to be gay subconsciously what do i do

>>18124416
act less gay

Z,

The first year was great, some of the best times i've had. However, it just became apparent that we were simply going with the motions for the entire 2nd year. We both became bitter towards one another, and we both changed into people who just had no business being together. The lack of trust, kindness, and your sense of needing to impress your friends over riding out life with me proved to be too much of a strain. I see you for your shallowness now, and you would probably call me a loser due to my current position in life. You would rather live in your own world than help me through my rut. Guess I can't blame you, we're still young after all. Who wants to give up partytime for youthful "love"?

M

>>18124205
>>18124229
Just texted her. Asking if I bothered her with my texting. Just got a simple "Nah" as a response.

I'm so confused. Just getting tired of it. Not even sure what to say anymore.

>>18124557
let her go, man

if you want to destroy a girls self esteem just be better at her than sex lmao

>>18124557
She's not really worth of your brain cells dying bcs of stress. It's either she's enjoying that you're chasing after her or she really doesn't wanna talk to you anymore but just being coward/ nice to you bcs it will hurt you. Well fuck you're hurt already.

>>18124588
Or just simply call her ugly?

>>18124596
no im talking about whores anon. Whores harvest attention, one guy calling them ugly wouldn't mean shit. Being better than them in what they find validation from on the other hand

I can never fix this. Every time i try to it just gets worst. Perhaps should just stop while i still have some dignity, Yet I can't. It might not look like a big problem but to me its everything.

>>18124182


You'll find a woman who will make you happier then she did, but by that point you will be numb to love, and just go along with it.

Keep on trucking brother, we're all gonna make it. Women aren't worth getting upset over.

probably gonna reread Great Expectations. Has a lot of new found relevance to me

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>>18124651
MY NIGGA

I can't get the motivation to do anything. I'm so depressed and everything seems like too much. Today I have just one thing to go out and do but I haven't been out in ages and it feels like so much effort

I don't know how to get out of my depression

>>18119365
Prince sucks anyway

the fucker sings in a whisper and uses doubling constantly

>>18124695

get meds bro

>>18124709
how dare you, Prince was an international treasure.

I love you but I cannot save you. Some of your recent behavior has gotten me really really worried about our future together. I love you enough to want to make this work but thoughts of us breaking up has been on my mind a lot more lately.

It doesn't help that I feel an attraction to our friend but nothing will come out from it only because he doesn't feel the same way I do and I don't want to throw away what we have for someone who will never love me the way you do

Please pull yourself out of this. I need the person I love back

I hate you all. Why do you think it's funny to take my infatuation like it's a fucking joke? I'm depressed out of my mind and I see this shit.
Retards

I really hope that you aren't fucking lying to me about this. She was nothing but a parasite and she only used you to make you feel good about yourself.

I trust that you understand this now but I still worry that you will fall for her lies again coz you had. You made us look foolish because you couldn't be honest with us and that's what fucking hurt the most.

I am still bitter, still skeptical and still upset with the whole situation. I really wish that you can get angry just so that I know you are past her.

>>18124763
Prince was shit and I'm glad he's dead. Faggot.

>>18124803
fuck you faggot Around The World in a Day is an amazing record.

>>18120628
Why dont you say all that to H? I think he'd appreciate the call

>>18124590
>>18124567
Asked what her intention was now. What she wanted from me.

No response to that. Not like the simple question of just texting.

I think I need a break. This, this doesn't feel good anymore. I feel like crying, but I'm trapped at work where I have to smile and act like I care when I shit inside.

Fuck.

>>18124709
He sucked after TGE. But everything before that is pretty much great

I can't get out of my mind that I'd never be able to provide a woman with the virility and sexual prowess she could easily find elsewhere.

I have a job. It's been a while but i have one i think i can keep. I'm working on my music, i've only gotten better over the years. I've been going to the weekly under 21 open mic nights at a local bar. Sometimes i sperg out and fuck up a cover, but when i play something original the regulars think im a good lyricist. My depression has gotten better on this new med, but the anxiety is still constant. It's a lot of pressure on my chest and i talk to myself in and out of my head all day most days. Im behind on some things but lately i've been moving forward. I'm gonna get a car and then I'm in a band again. Then like the owner of that bar thinks, we might put out something really unique and get somewhere. I hope you're doing okay, and whenever you're willing to talk to me again, i hope you do. I won't make any more big promises. I won't over think the things i tell you. I've been better about it lately, and i'm starting to get my life back. Otherwise, i hope things are better than they were.

CW

>>18124588
I don't think they'd care?

>>18124980

And uh, that wasn't really for you. Just thought if you still read these you'd like to know some of it. I won't complain too much about my mental health, but if i can start coming back from this, a lot of people should. It starts with baby steps. One little thing you can handle to improve yourself and build on it.

why?

you used to like me, i liked you. that's cool. but why did you appease me for two days when you knew you didn't have those feelings anymore? you told our friend that you wanted to see if the feelings would come back and they didn't. if they weren't there initially, why would you even try? what the hell? because now it just feels like you strung me along and played me. it's not even the fact that you rejected me, it's the fact that you did it out of nowhere after you made it seem like you accepted me.

you were the first person i was excited about since i broke up with my ex. you strung me along for a week. what the actual hell, man? and you expect me to be cool with living with you next semester?

i'd like it if you didn't come around anymore, but i'm just one of ten people living here right now. i'm not even the one you were initially friends with. you were just the girl in the laundry room i regretted not asking out, and when i finally started developing courage, i found out i was too late.

"i still enjoy being friends with you." i can't say the feeling is mutual.

what is it exactly that i want to say about you? let me try to get my thoughts in order for when i meet with ----- tomorrow, to talk.

i guess i don't know why you stopped wanting to spend time with me, stopped wanting me.

i guess the only reason i can think of is that you decided i wasn't good enough for you. that hurts so much.

i think from anyone else i could forgive this, but not from you. that's the thing.

all my life, people have judged me harshly, coldly analyzed and judged me. without seeing me as a whole, as a human, without seeing who i really was.

you -- i thought you weren't one of them. i thought you were on my side.

but i think you judged me just as coldly, and as harshly, as all those strangers judge me all the time. analyzing me, like i'm not a person, not me, but a table of numbers adding up to something.

that's why it was a betrayal. that's why you hurt me so much and why i never want to see you again. you were never my friend. it was a mistake. you were always against me, always judging me and finding me lacking.

why did it have to be that way?

i remember when you looked at me, thinking that you saw who i really am. you saw me for me.

if i could press a button right now and erase you completely from my life, erase all memory of you, never have ever met you, i would push it without hesitating. my life would be a million times better if you had never appeared in it.

that's what i want to say.

you cared about everyone else, but never cared about me. you hurt me and you were never sorry. you never listened to me. you never helped me. you never noticed anything about me. you never wanted me. you never loved me. you never stood up for me. you were never my friend and i'm sorry i ever met you.

that's what i want to say.

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>>18125259
this

This scene really gets replayed often in my head. We share a bed together even though it's our first time meeting each other,I feel the huge need to you that I love you and you just don't respond. I don't know why,but I somehow feel like you did the right thing even though we did all that couple stuff later on. Not sure if that was because of that other someone,but I respect for not responding to my confession with saying the same.

But only for that.

-

Now on the other hand,when I heard from my i-net buddy who lives overseas that you asked about me,I was kinda happy but why you asked him when you could've also shoot me a mail? He was also confused but after talking with you again it seemed like you were just curious how I was doing. You grew up beatiful these years but it seems like serval people tried to hit on you and you grew distant to any try for a relationship because it would be only for your looks and you still would be distrusting towards them. Now I don't know how to approach you anymore without making you feel like that I'm only after you because you look fine. We haven't talked for a month with each other after you told me that and I'm afraid that actually fueled your fear. I'm sorry,I'm just being an anti-social wreck again and I don't want to show it to you,again.

-

Thanks for staying all this time,buddy. I hope your project won't flop even though I dropped out out of sheer inconfidence and depression yadda yadda. Thanks for telling me that you're also a piece of shit like me,but you know,you yourself see your own flaws more vivid than anyone else so I'm just barely hanging on that. And when I see your project growing,it really makes me kind of sad that I won't be there to witness it's full glory. Maybe we could've visited Japan already if I wasn't that broke now. But you know how lonliness made me spend money on stupid shit so it's slowly catching up. Thanks for staying around.

>>18124236
yeah cause i immediately knew everything he stood for the first times i slept with him. jesus fucking christ when will men shut the fuck up????

literally until the last few times i saw him I DID NOT KNOW HOW FUCKING RABID OF A TRUMP GUY HE WAS, MY GUY. it's possible to not know a damn thing about someone you're sleeping with!!! it's not like he knew anything about me other than the bare essentials, thanks have a nice day bud

>>18124557
just point blank ask her "are we done here?" and if she says "idk" say "I'll take that as a yes"
bc you've probably just been hitting her up with "hey" and making small talk and she wants to be done but is way too scared of your reaction to end it herself, so it unfortunately puts the ball in your court.

>>18124994
yeah i literally give no fucks if the guy's better at sex than me. just means i can learn a thing or two maybe. ayyy lmao

fuck me up
I've been having dreams about you and that shit's not okay
what's gonna happen if we sleep together anyway? who's gonna get attached? fuck, just fuck me up, man. you're so goddamn attractive and i'm a fucking 5. what do you want with me anyway?

>>18124387
Thanx m8.

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I want someone to take care of me. I'm bitter, jaded, and bitchy but I just wanna be somebody's treasure :C

I'm just sad and angry. I left all my friends because I envied the fact that they all got girlfriends and I was left alone. I hated them and now I have no one. It's all my fault. I brought this on myself and now I'm paying the price. I wish I was never born. If we all exist to have a purpose in life then my purpose is to be a prime example of what a pathetic failure looks like. There is nothing good about me, and if there ever was it's gone now.

>>18125358
What makes you think he's a misogynist?

>>18125424
Perhaps appreciate the room for improvement you possess.

>>18125450
I don't think I can improve, at least not enough

>>18125368
Thanks. This helps a lot. I been lost and confused for weeks now. I wanted to talk things out and maybe try at it, but she has been deflecting the question.

If she deflects this time. I might as well not answer if she does later.

Im bipolar, alcoholic, 21 years old and live in my parents basement, and dont know how much longer i can be me.

I just want to be someone else. Anyone but me, not this mentally fucked up nearly albino heap of trash.

>>18125378
Don't be stupid. If you both like each other just go for it.

You said no. You shot the idea of binge watching stuff together down. I suspect it's because you're constantly tired, just as I am. I hope so. Because I don want to be paranoid and think that's because you don't want to spend time with me.

I'm so ready to be done with school. I just want to chill out on the beach and be one with nature.

>>18124853
I'm really sorry about that anon ;_; it will be the most amazing feeling ever once you got over her. Nobody's whose truly cares and loves deserves to be treated like this. I hope you'll find out soon what's going on with her feelings and just move on and meet someone better.

I cant play games with you anymore ...it'd be fun to do so but i lost the moment I fell in love with you....and it hurts because even after i told you everything you kept me with a maybe......you neither agree nor disagree. ....and you've stopped texting me (maybe its your job maybe it isn't) everything about us is fucked......it either is or isnt and when it isn't theres a very good reason behind that you cant take blame......maybe i was just a one time fuck and you pity my sadness........but I constantly dream of you ...and when i finally forget you and deal with the sadness that you left with all my desire....you get in touch with me.....at my worst ....and brighten my day......i wanna ask for you to wait ten years without talking.....and meet again because ....no one will ever tell me the things you did even if i begged.......

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Won't even post about you anymore, man. Blocking your number and erasing your photos was the best thing I've ever done. So glad I got an adorable skull face cat out of it though.

I find chocolate milk ridiculously satisfying. More so than any other kind of milk or drink or food.

I like sweets but I don't get this same satisfaction from anything else. Not even other kinds of chocolate It legitimately makes me happy.

I want to meet a man I like! Why must I be so picky?! And no, I can't help it. Besides, I know they exist, they're just not available : |

>>18119365
Vaffanculo, Vale. Ero veramente pronto a darti tutto.

>>18125378
initials?

I can't describe how lonely I am.

I hope all is well with you

>>18119365
I have 2 papers and a test to study for all by Tomorrow. I got one of them done just need to write 4 pages and study my ass off. Why do I always procrastinate??

It's becoming clearer and clearer that she doesn't miss me, and she had been ready to move on before we even broke up.

I went through some of my old journals, and what stunned me is how much I've changed over the few years. I seemed so much more content, and was always finding new stuff to get interested in. I learned Japanese for a while, and tried to read a bunch of books. Some things failed, but other things worked, and honestly, the energy behind it seemed more important than whatever ends were achieved. Not to say the problem's all in my head, but if I can sync up to how I used to feel and try again, maybe the future won't be so bad.

>>18126074
How you used to feel is irrelevant. What's relevant is the energy you noticed throughout your old journal entries. You're still you, you just got off track for whatever reason or reasons. Explore who you are in the present moment and figure out what to do moving forward. Trying to feel how you used to feel isn't going to work. Trust me. I've been there and tried that. It's a fruitless waste of time Anon.

Will this be over very soon? What is the point in telling me that I'm going to be happy, that the gods are going to set me up right, that the world which rests on my shoulders is counting on me to be it's savior...

And then not set me free? What is the point? am I not ready? Am I not worthy?

I am not afraid. I am not hesitant.

I'm eager, I'm hungry. I want blood.

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>>18126029
Get off this board

>>18125609
Yeah, no response.

I find it funny that one of the reasons she gave me for walking away was that I was immature. I asked her about it because I wanted to learn. Because I honestly believed that communication is something good, that it helps to build bonds and strenght. So I listened, I listened to her as she ripped into me, as she dragged things out from over 2 years ago. I listened and thought over all of it for 2 months or so. Ripped myself and hammered my thoughts. She was right. I admitted to it, and instead of growing angry at her judgement, I thanked her for her honesty.

I made many mistakes while we were together, but I was willing to learn from them. I guess that my biggest mistake was falling for someone that would speak of things and not act on them. Judge others before looking at themselves. My mistake was not trusting in another, although it really stings and feels that way. My mistake was trusting her.

10 years, I trusted her like no other, more than I trusted myself. I fell into a hole and worked to get out, because I saw it was hurting her. For a while all I thought about was us. I was willing to build my life together as a team. Sadly, she didn't share my views. Things have been falling apart, I saw it coming. I was ready to work together, hammer and nails in hand, ready to do what needed to be done to make things work.

She was ready to run. She just needed a reason. I guess I gave her one. Words.

I was loyal to her from the start. This is what I get for giving of myself to another.

Such is life. Right now I hurt. I know. It feels like it will never go away, not sure if it will. Likely it won't fully. I can hope things get better.

I understand why people hurt themselves now. Physical pain is easy to translate, emotional, this that I feel is almost unbearable.

I just want comfort, not neglect.

>>18126238
2/2

I guess I knew it was other for a while now. All we did was have sex in the more recent months. I would always try to set up dates or things to do between us to share time together. She would usually just blow me off or have an excuse, wait to the last moment to tell me she had work or something else.

I also feel she had began to resent me, for getting in the way of her life I guess. My aim wasn't to do so, but she was never direct with me. She never told me when something was wrong between us. When I was always ready to talk about problems as they came. Nip things in the bud was the way I viewed it. Was I wrong? Was it immature of me to want to talk about us? I don't know anymore, but what she is doing by running away from all this, by letting things fester for years. To me that seems more immature than anything I did.

I don't fucking know anymore. Maybe I just wanted the closure. Maybe I just wanted to say it was over, not this constant "idk" stuff. I want to be heard, not ignored because "I'm busy".

I never asked to be her number 1 priority in her life. Not ever second. But I didn't even feel like I was a part of hers as she was a part of mine. I felt more like an afterthought, like she only meet with me to toss me a bone, out of convenience.

Why did I dedicate myself to her in such a way? Not even I know anymore.

Fuck.

My wife is so ugly I blame it on the fact she's a disgusting chink with autism.

I don't feel strong enough and I'm scared, I'm tired and I can't even sleep. The future looks so so bleak and I don't know how to deal with it without you in it to hold me and support me.

>>18126412
Hey man, how's it going?

I wish I could find that old music video that was posted somewhere in 2006-2007. Yet I can only remeber small vague details in it, and I tried everything to find it in asking threads with no leads. Really pissed and wish I could find it.

>>18122874
Ask to meet up.

>>18126139
I will do this, thanks for the advice. I don't want to feel the exact same way (since it lead to my current state), just to have the drive that made life worth living.

>>18119365
I really should hate you for disregarding my feelings like that, You're a poison to my spirit and I should disregard you as trash too, but the feelings never goes away. Fuck you for spitting on my already broken heart.

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>>18119365
I want a fucking Land Rover Defender and I'm filled with anger that they discontinued it because of some boomers in the EU government. There's nothing quite like this car. It's a car full of robustness and strength, but at the same time grace and simplicity.

>>18127099
I love those things, always had since I was a kid. Have this (you) for your fine taste.

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>>18127105
Thank you my friend. Hopefully one day we'll be able to own one of the last few that are still around by then.

>>18126691
Ah I understand. I'm trying to find that too. I wish you well Anon.

>>18127099
Baby Boomers ruin all things good, apparently even in Europe.

ah

>>18119365
I can't get over that I was harshly bullied as a teenager. It has caused me terrible anxiety and despair and I have been dealing with it for voer ten years. Wherever I go, I know I 'm still weak, so nothing matters.

I feel terrible and I don't know why
That is all

>>18127362
Also, my sister just conforted me while I cried for no reason, I want to die

Welp, that's fucking bullshit!

>>18123061
why did she leave you ?

>>18123096
stop visiting your shit parents

I am really sorry Tom, I think you are the greatest guy I've ever met. But I'm still in love with Ell.

She's my best friend and we hang out a lot. Maybe we're developing feelios for each other but yolo and whatnot.

We were meant to hang out tomorrow but she asked if I was about today to hang out. I was local but I was with a friend so she went and said she couldn't do tomorrow anymore. Us hanging out was actually important too because she was meant to be helping me do something.

Lol I think I proper rubbed her the wrong way with that one because it's something my ex would have done. Was actually going to get a pack of playing cards so we could play card games when we're hanging out because she's into that sort of thing.

Speaking of my ex, I've listened to her favourite band quite a bit recently and some of these songs are proper edgy and I imagine she listened to them whilst we were breaking up.

I think she sent me something that was meant to be funny earlier but it wasn't and I was out with my mate so I didn't. I don't think I will reply either lol.

i can't stop eating breakfast burritos theyre amazing. milk is also good for shit gains

Does anyone else just get really fucking fed up of not being good at stuff, and just feel like giving up on trying? Like I'm trying to look ahead to the future, wanting to get a job and a flat in London. My parents have agreed to help me with a deposit, but with all the added shit of mortgages and stuff I know it'll be a struggle. So I thought "Hey, I can try budget a lot more, why don't I learn to cook and save money by buying/cooking in bulk. That'll be easy right?"

Now I'm sitting looking at a bunch of recipes thinking "No, no, I can't do any of these." I'm so fucking bad at cooking. Like just fucking awful at it. Just the prospect of trying to cook and fucking it up makes me so god damn depressed. And looking at the cost of living in London and thinking no, I'll never fucking manage it, even though my partner/girlfriend is there at uni and I want to be closer to her than I am now. Then I look at my piano and think "No, I'm fucking shit at the piano." I just feel so fucking shit at everything I try and want to do in life. I'm so unprepared for everything, and I'm fucking 28 in a couple of weeks. No, I'm not a basement dweller, and I'm finishing up on a Masters degree. But I just can't help but feel like I'll never fucking be able to do anything because I'm so incapable and useless, and I've just started a relationship and keep wanting to tell her that she's dating someone so inept and pathetic and worthless. I just wish I was good at something for once.

>>18127667
Fuck you. You are the reason I'm depressed.

>>18127471
>>18127471
Kill yourself abbie you dumb worthless cumbucket.

>>18127762
I feel you to be honest. What can I say? I understand how you feel. It will pass.

I think my housemate is a petty fucking retard with a total lack of respect for another persons privacy. He lacks any sort of communication skills, eats my food, doesn't maintain the property, and blames others for his problems.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't exhibit some of these behaviors myself from time to time (more specifically the lack of good communication), but my room mate (who is also unfortunately my landlord) has been unruly, awkward, needlessly defensive and obnoxious during odd hours of the night during my time here.

I did nothing wrong to this man, other than pay him on time every month, and keep on top of keeping my part of the house clean. I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. I'd rather be homeless again than deal with someone who's sociopathic behavior has lead to his own divorce, the loss of custody of his kids, his job, and the control of his life. The fact that this man has given me attitude when I confronted him about failing to have heat or hot water in this house three times for over a week straight the past three months is unprofessional, and disgraceful.

If you're reading this, fuck you dude.

- Richard

C,
Miss you bud, wish you were still here. Worlds just not the same without you, I hate how I can't share all the hilarious things I see/think of with you anymore. And I'll never be able to again.

J

>>18119365
L,
You say the past is the past. You tell me how much I mean to you yet you said the same things last time while you were cheating. I am wrong to be insecure and skeptical of what you're doing, I think you just don't fully realize how much your cheating hurt me. Maybe I'm stupid for taking you back but I can't help how I feel about you. Regardless of the pain I still love you. I promised if anything even slightly close happened again it was over yet I don't even know if you truly care about that consequence given past experience. I just want a woman to grow old with. I really hope you changed. I don't want to be the fool twice.
I guess time will tell.
- B

I'm getting fucked up emotionally over a girl I know
We both like each other and we both know it.
She's in a relationship. We live in separate cities
It sounds so fucking stupid for even to consider it

But, we're getting old. Sometimes you got to take what you can get, right? You can't wait for prefect circumstances forever, right?

I just want to say "Hey what's up" but I know the moment I do that, she'll see right through my intentions and it'll hurt her.

I had almost forgotten about her until a few weeks ago she messaged me about how she was thinking about me. She hasn't responded back yet and I know she regretted sending the message.

This is just so fucking confusing.

This weekend I wanna ask out a girl I've had a crush on for a year but I'm terrified of rejection since I've already invested emotionally on this for no reason because I'm an idiot and I think she's gonna reject me.
If she says yes I'll be the happiest guy in the planet (I'd be also terrified of fucking up the date but that comes later).

>>18128464
stupid bitch...jesus
way to take someone back who cheats. hope the fucker does it to you again. you deserve it.

>>18128487
Do it fgt I heard you wouldn't

It's hard to tell if I'm angry all the time or I've just become completely emotionally burnt out. I pretty much don't feel anything besides varying levels of anger at pretty much any stimulus.

Women? Pisses me off.
Porn? Pisses me off.
My job? Pisses me off.
Drinking? Pisses me off.
Petting a cat? Pisses me off.
Chilling out with my pig beast? Pisses me off.
Actually accomplishing desired goals? Pisses me off.
Coming here and admitting something I can't admit to anyone IRL? Pisses me off.
CAPTCHA? Pisses me off.

I know I never meant anything to you. I don't think you ever said you love me. You avoided that kind of stuff with ''oh we were in a rush'' kind of excuses.

I hope you never abuse anyone's feelings like that ever again just to get some ass. You're the most horrible person I've ever met. I wish I never did.

I want to drop out of college, but that would mean paying back a $23K debt and although I can take a break from paying back the money and even then I have 15 years to pay it off, it would mean working this shitty security job until I finally work up the courage to kill myself.

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Yea I don't think you're ever gunna realise just what you all have done to me huh. I will never trust anyone ever again when this is over. I finally know just how alone I am. Whatever you may say or do will never change the fact that I, and only I alone know the truth. Nevermind the fact that none of you of the balls to confront me face to face and ask actual questions. There's always gotta be some hamstring isn't there? Whether it is alcohol or drugs or any other vice, no matter how much I take or endure you will never accept that you were that wrong. Face the music cowards. You may think you're wearing me down but I'm not the one acting. You guys are. Play your games and ask yourself this, if it didn't work the first time or the second or the third or the fourth or any of the other fucking times after that, what the fuck do you think will happen this time? All you have done is show me that you're part of the failing ruse and embarrassing yourselves. Please kill yourselves, or at least kill me so I can be free of this stupidity.
-B

>>18128613
If you're more than 2 years in, finish your degree
Then go back to whatever safety blanket you have

>>18128592
OOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
THIS POST DOOOOOOOOOOE!

I'm tired of getting rejected for being myself, either I'm a shitty person or I hang out with them. I'm too needy/lonely, I'm never comfortable in my own skin. I'm self destructive, and finally dug a petty hole I'm not going to see the top of for 5-6 years.

Tldr; I need to harden the fuck up and get comfortable in my situation.

>>18128695
What you got to realize is that you aren't shit
You aren't born to a type of life
You can change
And the first step of change is pretending

I guess I have to move on. As much as I love you, as much as I have been wiling to change and work on myself for us. You still just give me silence.
You won't even give me the respect to give me proper closure. To end this like two mature people would.

I guess I have have to make the last move. It's only fitting as I made the first. I started this, I now have to end it.

Part of me will always love you and wish things would have gone differently. Sadly, not every story has a happy ending. This is one of them, I guess.

I hope you find what you want out of life. I wish you the best life can offer. I'm just heartbroken it wasn't with me.

Take care, and may the light of the stars guide you.

>>18128843
I know you're not him, but I'm going to pretend this is from B. He would never wish me the best though.

i wanna fuck my trap friend when I have a gf

I'm a very emotional and temperamental person, if I ever find out my gf is cheating on me I can't say I'll be able to refrain myself from doing something I'd regret.

>>18128534
What's the cause of all your anger anon?

My wife of 6 and a half years has started disappearing after work for what started as a couple hours but has since gone to over 24 hours. She ignores my calls and texts. I recently confro.ted her and found out shes been snorting coke with her coworkers and just blowing me off.


What the fuck do i do?

>>18119365
>not torrenting music

I miss you so fucking much

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Grr..I hate my (((twin brother))) but I [very rarely] miss him. Most days the hatred is strong unlike other days... fuck this manipulative shit! Let's listen to some emotion because molotov solution and skii mask malley doesn't cut it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De06n-euq_c&list=PLTn-yyo3ZqC5cZYvaytMLFWaym-eb7zEp

>>18128866
Cut her out of your life before she gets worse. The disappearing act is a sure sign she is already an addict. If you think that is painful wait until she starts losing jobs and running off with guys with pockets full of coke for several weeks at a time.

>>18128850

Your initials?

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I've become a full blown nazi in the past year. The degeneracy of today's society, and the ongoing demographic replacement of Europeans must be stopped at any cost.

Sieg fucking Heil!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apnGqCiWTi8

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>>18129184
Lol I wish I had more friends like this irl

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>>18129200
>tfw I had a room mate for a year with whom I threw nazi and jew bants constantly.

It was fucking great senpai.
Though I wasn't even joking with those bants. My transformation to legit nazism had already begun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzIRG525l6s

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>>18129214

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>mfw my best friend's ex raped her when they were breaking up over a year ago
>mfw I still live with the fact that that cunt isn't in jail/burning in hell where she belongs
>mfw I get flack from for 'not being nice'
>mfw I really really want the ex to get hit by a car and have to control that rage every time I see her

I hate people so much.

>>18124848

He's depressed, and he won't listen as he is wallowing in his own misery. I tried my best, but I really don't know how to help him - he is pretty stubborn.

The world around me is slowly crumbling again and I dunno what to do about it. It's not even my fault this time, and yet somehow i feel guilty. Guilty for trusting people over and over again.

I want to give up but i have so much at stake. I want to break down and cry but i don't have the time to do it. My mind is a mess and i have nobody to help me in this time of need.

Shit, i really need a hug

>>18128486
Are you me haha

>>18129635
*Hugs tightly*
I know how terrible it can be to feel guilty for everything. Think about the future. Think about how next time will be better and what you can change.Focus on yourself, find something that gives you joy and pursue it. Make it so that no matter how much the world crumbles - you have something to return to.

Good luck!

>>18129697
Thank you for your kind words, i appreciate that.

Luckily i have something to keep membusy in these dire times so i still have something to hang on until it all fixes itself. I have to deal with it for an year at last then I'll be free.

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So my boyfriend is going behind my back chatting up a shit load of people about porn, it's mostly hentai. Oh, also joining a shit load of rp/meet-up groups....atleast every week. Asking girls for nudes, flirting and all the jazz.
desu, it messes me up but not too bad since it's just random people...still I can't shake off this shitty feeling. I talked to him about it but he just shrugs it off, telling me not to worry because they live so far OR he'll bring up that I talk to the opposite sex all the time (which I don't). They're mostly old high school buddies, I dont flirt or anything, sometimes I get compliments here and there but its harmless shit (about my style or art)

I'm being fucking played with. I feel like a petty 16 year old....fuck
I think this ship is going down.

>>18129826
OH! Also when people use your past against you, I already know that I'm a terrible person and learned my lesson. Trying to move on is hard when they keep bringing it up....knowing you can be horrible. I'm a sad angry broken human. I hope everyone problems quickly passes by no matter how small or big.

>>18129826

The ship is going to sink soon. Save yourself.

I want to move out and try to leave NEETdom but i'm too afraid
i'm afraid of messing up
i'm afraid that it won't help me and i'll still be depressed and lonely

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Anons, I need an advice. It has been a long time since I visited 4chan and especially /adv/.

I tend to repel people.
And most of the time I am bitter and angry to them, I insult them. I am a huge asshole and I hate myself. In the last two days I told my crush to fuck off, being extremely rude to female friend who was ready to bring me medicine all the time when I was ill, supportive, kind, even benevolent and self-sacrificing. "I always believe in you", she once said. My best friend turned away from me. People have been telling me I always have sad looks, since 9th grade, and I am 20 now. They ask me all the time, three times per day, sometimes I am told I am condescending. I ruin everything and I type this with shaking hands. I've been crying for the whole evening today.

Sorry, it does look like it's written by emo 4th grader. I am lost.

Ever since i started working on myself i am pissed when i dont get the chance to increase my boundries, it's been 2 days in a row i have not gotten any opprtunities because stupid crap comes between it and i am getting really annoyed with it.

I just want you in my arms christ

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I feel as if I won't be truly content until I leave this country, the United States. I'm white, and my heritage goes back several generations on both sides, but I simply don't feel at home here, and never have. Part of it is due to politics, sure, but it's also due to social conduct and culture. Whenever a foreigner mentions things like "fake friendliness", how loud people are, how unhealthy the food is, how poorly designed and bleak most of the country is, how hyper-competitive our society is, etc., I can't help but agree. There are phenomenal things about America such as the national park system, the right to free speech, the work of scientists, its contributions to film, art, music, and more.

There are problems with my world view, sure. I haven't traveled abroad before and have idyllic expectations of other countries. I haven't lived extensively in parts of the US outside of the South. If I decide to move to Europe, I'll likely have to take up an exhausting job I have no interest in. Emigration is a royal pain in the ass, according to all the people I know who've done it. All told, though, I just can't picture myself happy if I stay where I am.

Backstory: found a note i had stashed in one of my books to read often from early on in the dating phase of the now ex girlfriend. she had written it and meant a lot to me. I didn't want to toss it out, so I sent her a Easter card with it included, so she could toss it. Texted me a week later asking why I had sent it.

"The note I found and didn't want to just toss out. I loved you and it wouldn't feel right by me. So I figured you'd do it instead. The card I send to a lot of people every year, you can toss it too if you wish"

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>>18119365
It'll take time for his stuff to be released, anon. People seem to have this mystifying view of The Vault like every single song in there is going to be a masterpiece. It won't be. You'll have your fair share of PoomPoom's in there too. Don't sweat it.

>>18130166
If you don't do anything you'll also still be depressed and lonely. So give it a try, there's nothing to lose

It pains me to see how so many years can fit into 2 medium sized boxes. It hurts, but if you want to move on, I guess I have to do so as well.

I feel so lost now. Not sure what to do, or even think. You are the only thought I keep having, but it won't serve me any good now.

Do people still have songs as their ringtones? I thought about getting one.

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L.A.M,
you told me that we'd be together always. All I ever wanted was for you to care about me to really show that you cared. In the 4 years of my life I gave you willingly I was beaten, left alone, and almost died because you were "overwhelmed". I don't forgive you for leaving me like that. I don't forgive you for sending me away and blaming me for the death of our child. I don't forgive you for lying.
Im sorry I thought for a moment I had happiness and someone who would look at me the same way I did them. The stories, poems, and shitty books are right: Love blinds.
3 months in a psych ward only to come home to find you cheating, my most prized possessions on the porch rotting, and not even a sorry.
You are fucking scum and I regret ever giving you the time of day, my love, and my time. I hope your depression eats you alive.
Forever and always,
Your Primcess.

We were together for two years.
I got a little busier with school, and a job that I thought could translate into us meeting each other sooner.

I miss you very much, and I'm not sure why you changed. I always waited for you to want to speak to me, express your want to be intimate, express your anger that I was getting busier, but you never sent anything.


I was already going through such a tough time, and I still am.

You gave me false hope, asking me what I thought about the future when you already wanted to break up with me.

There was a disconnect. Feeling like our lives were too different.

I was alright for a little while. Until I discovered you were talking to someone else for months... and felt like you had more freedom and could be more honest with him... and right after our break up I saw you practically have sex with him.

I hate that I still want to speak with you, because I always feel sick inside right after I do.

I wish I never would've loved, because then I wouldn't be a shell of my former self.

How can you want to stay friends with me, saying you should've just always stayed as friends, after you say you still love me?

Now I am all alone.

Conservatives hate giving the government authority, but love when the government takes authoritative action.

Liberals love giving the government authority, but complain when it uses said authority.

Do I understand politics yet?

>>18125358
Normal people usually get to know each other before fucking them, but I guess it's different for worthless sluts like you.

>>18122970
People leave. Best just to keep them at a distance so you don't mind when they do.

>>18130750
But then you're never getting the full range of emotion. You're okay with that?

>>18119552
Well I'm an H and if that's you I have no fucking idea what you're doing on 4chan. I just hope if it is you I wasn't the one who sent you here in the first place. As for what happened .. as it is 4 and it is my letter that no one will read anyway I can type just how i feel. I am confused mostly maybe a litter hurt but i have grown to be a strong person though i don't seem like it but i am. I am perplexed on the way you wanted our interactions to continue. At first it went well in my opinion. I just wanted things to be the same as they were...but then YOU GREW COLD. Really cold and distant and I was confused and hurt and i felt horroble because i did want to still be as close as we were. I told you that...this was actually a really long letter i just deleted it. You said you didn't feel like talking well get out of here. I TRUSTED YOU. I actually allowed myself to show you that i can be weak. I let my guard down I believed you. You said that we'll be friends. And a long time ago you said that you won't leave my life just like that. I told you that i didn't believe you then but I did at some point. i would have said you are a liar...as you are. But i chose to believe you. Nice lesson. Thank you. Now if you were the one who typed that leave. And your english is really bad by the way...lol

I can only watch the same rerun so many times. Yeah, it may end up different this time.
But love doesn't have that same shine it used to.
And people really don't. So, yeah I guess I'm okay with that. I can see how others wouldn't be. They still got some left in the tank.

After this job, I'm going to switch to a more permanent career, get my own apartment, live by myself, and just be alone until a kill myself.

>>18130753
>>18130778
was a reply to
>>18130750

>>18130784
Ahh. Made a lot of sense for a misquote.

>>18119552
as you're not going to read that anyway I can say that all I needed that night in order to be happy was for you to confort me by telling me that you are going to be there with me and for me. And that you value and treasure me. I was really afraid that then you were just going to leave without a word or explanation AS YOU DID. Why ?

>>18130727
And you who insult random people on 4chan, you have soo much worth, am I right?

feel trapped in this shit job that i have, im in a shit wage slave job but get none of the benefits, literally only the wage. health benefits are extremely expensive and a complete joke

i have talent and capability in an area that doesnt matter, im an alcoholic and for a while i was a dry drunk but now im off the wagon

my life is stupid and im perpetually single, partially because i cant keep a girlfriend for more than 2 weeks and partially because im scared of getting into a real relationship with someone who actually wants one because i hate myself so much

im also out of beer and i think im gonna go down to 711 and get some more

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I want to bash this guy's teeth in with a brick. Trouble is the waste of space is my niece's father.

>>18130896
i don't mean to be rude but you did actually gave a solution to your problems by typing them. Why do you hete yourself? Start there. Improve yourself and beacome someone you like. Stop drinking. Find a girlfriend someone you care for and who cares for you. Start looking for a new job.

>>18125358
>Open vagina wide
>Mad at what goes in

Women.

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E, I miss you so, so much. In June it'll be a year since we spoke. I have tried so hard to get over you, but I am still not there. I feel like I'm insane, because you don't deserve my love, you came into my life and turned it upside down. You said your feelings would never change, you lied. I wish I'd never met you. I wish I would have trusted my gut about you. You took a girl who already hated herself, and made her hate herself even more. I honestly want to just die, because I'm so sick of feeling this way. How could you hurt me like this? You said you loved me. You never loved me. You just knew you could fuck the insecure, sad girl. You played me, and I let you. I tried so hard to get closure, but I will never understand what happened. I hate myself.

i just failed a test to get into community college. you know, where they literally accept retards.

im 22 and i have no direction, no skills, and fail at everything i attempt. everyone sees me as a joke. even my therapist has given up on me.

whats the most efficient way to kill myself right now

>>18130983
Don't. Just talk to someone. Why did you fail. I don't think age matters that much in college. What did you want to study

Why can't I get a job

I just want to scream and keep screaming until it all goes away

My life at the moment is like watching the world's most boring movie. I want to stop watching, but I spent a lot to see this damn movie and people keep telling me it gets better the more you watch it, but I am just so sick and bored of it all

I feel confused again. I know what i what i want i know who i am i am working to improvemyself everyday and yet i am constantly torturng myself because i don't understand what happened and what you think and how you feel..

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So I've worked 7 different minimum-wage (or no wage) legal jobs and I'm still nowhere near getting a fucking job what the fuck is this nobody told me graduate life would be like this

>>18130983
Dude I'm 32 in CC, no big deal

What did you fail, the math placement? That's nothing. Just enroll in a single class and go from there

>>18130983
I'm sorry, but this kinda hit a nerve with me.

My cousin was 22 when he hanged himself just before last Christmas. He had no qualifications, no work experience, no friends, no hobbies. He thought he was an embarrassment to the family, a complete nobody who wasn't worth shit. He was a failure, except at committing suicide, it seems.

In all honesty, we all knew he was going to kill himself at some point, despite all the help we tried to give him. You know what though -- it doesn't make it any easier for the people around you. You might think everyone's given up, but they fucking haven't, you're just so clouded with self-pity you can't see that... but that's ok, because depression is a complete arse.

I won't tell you to 'pick yourself up, you can do it!' because that motivation has to come from you. But I will say that anyone's suicide is a complete tragedy, and you would be missed by a lot more people than you would realise. A funeral for a suicide is the worst possible thing to experience. There would be people howling and crying 'why didn't we do X? We could have saved him' and that guilt will be imposed on all of your family and friends, contacts, healthcare professionals etc for the rest of their lives, irrespective of whether they were in a position to help or not.

Just saying. I know you're probably extremely depressed and someone lecturing you about others' feelings is the last thing you want, but suicide is not a quick action which 'makes everything better'.

Please do get help. A careers counselor, maybe change therapist. You shouldn't see suicide as a last resort, or any kind of option.

Look, I'm giving you an actual chance to do the right thing. You know what it is. Just do it. It will feel good. It won't be as bad as you think. I'm a very gracious individual with a fuckload of class so I'll be very chill. Now I know that you're not used to a person like myself, but the fact is that you jacked with my shit for whatever reason. Just do the right thing. Show that you are a quality person. This is your golden opportunity to rise above yourself. I want to see it. Now I'm not here holding my fucking breath for that shit, but I'd like to believe that everyone is salvagable.

A

Man, we don't talk for 6 months and then I just spew out about my breakup for hours and completely ignore your problems. Sorry for being so selfish. You are an amazing friend and I hope we can always confide in each other. Our 5am deep chats will always be treasured. Thanks for putting me on the right track. I'm going to apologize to J because it's eating me alive and I will endeavour to move forward.

J

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>>18131033
very nice

You're still with me. Here. You've taken my life and now wear it like a crown. You've given me more than I ever deserved. But whenever we have a fight and you distance yourself, I can't seem to function as a human being anymore. It's too late, but I now realize that you will be the end of me. I'm scared. Scared when something eventually happens, I won't be strong enough to take it. Sometimes I think I was happier back then than I am now with you. The fear of losing you is slowly consuming me.

What happened between us, I really wish it would have gone differently. I have said everything I have thought over, and played the events over in my head. I will carry the mistakes I made and learn from them. There is nothing else I can tell you or do. I will give you the time and space if you need it. I know you gotta focus on your job and education. I'm glad you have that in mind. Look, I never meant for things to play out this way. Never wanted it like this. No matter what I am thankful for what impact you had on me. For holding for as long as you did when I wasn't myself during my depression, for getting me to get help and for being honest towards the end. Maybe you don't want to try again, maybe there's something else that you want, or maybe you do. Whatever it is, I hope the best for you. I'm sorry that I wasn't a better person, nothing I can do to change the past. I can't guarantee that the future will be better, but I can only try to be a better person. I have you to thank for that. Take care, I hope you are well and that you have a good night. Should you ever wish to talk, call, or meet, don't hesitate to contact me. Whatever you want out of life, I hope you get it.

I think I may have homosexual tendencies.

I'm still not over the girl who dumped me because she was still hung up over her abusive ex. I genuinely felt like the relationship could have gone somewhere and now she's gone. I wake up every morning missing the little things that used to make the two of us so happy. First thing I want to do in the morning is grab my phone and text her "good morning beautiful" like I always used to. I want to reach out and tell her that she CAN get over him even though he's constantly fucking with her head. I want her to know that she's not alone in her battle with depression. But I can't reach out to her, because I would look like a spineless cuck. I'm too nice for my own damn good, and even though I've told myself that I need to move forward, I can't get the image of this girl out of my mind. The relationship went so well, up until he texted her when we were on a date.
To her: I still miss you, and maybe in a few years when we figure out what we want out of life we can start over.
To him: Fuck you, you rotten sack of shit. Get hit by a bus you abusive fuckass.

Kinda wish you guys would tell me what I did wrong instead of just never talking to me again. I thought we were friends.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't sabotage my hard work. You never miss an opportunity to twist the knife, belittle and scorn. It's about time I didn't know you any more, you'll be left to your fantasies; with nothing but an aging body and withering mind to offer.

I am so fucking tired of constantly getting disappointed when looking forward to stuff that never end up happening.

I absolutely hate that I STILL have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have no ambitions, no goals, no expectations, nothing. I just feel numb to any ideas thrown at me. I've tried so many things but none make me happy. I fear I'm going to live a life of just getting by rather than "living"

My stomach hurts. I've been in the toilet for hours. I've pooped a lot. Still hurts. Please help

>>18131317
You won't ever know

That's why I joined the military
So someone can tell me what to do

https://youtu.be/wSSUD0tLovI

I honestly never thought you would do this.

I honestly never thought you to go silent on me when I asked you on a date. I mean, sure, if you're not attracted to me, that's fine but don't leave me in the FUCKING DARK and expect me to get over it. If anything, it's making me realize what kind of person you truly are.

I just hope that I'm wrong about you right now.

If not? Whatever. I'll go see Logan myself.

>>18131391
desu if we were gonna see logan i wouldn't go either

>>18131391
Consider that she might not know what to say

>>18131416
well, I'm sure as fuck not gonna see 50 shades darker. What would you suggest, then?

>>18131507
This dude is desperate for affirmation and validation because daddy wasn't there

Do you like him? Do you like me? What are all these signals? You laugh at my jokes, you like the music that I play, yet you make me feel uneasy. Why is it so hard

We've been together for almost 3 years.
I was happy. It was a rough start in this relationship, we had bad times, and good times.
If anyone tried to get in between us, I would do everything in my power to get rid of them from my life.
It's almost our anniversary.
It's been 4 months since I last saw you.
I'm lonely. I'm upset. I'm sexually frustrated. I'm trying me best to understand your situation. I'm trying my hardest to stay by your side but I think I won't be able to keep up much longer.
I would flirt in-game with others playfully. I didn't think anything of it until later on. I feel guilty, and even moreso because I think I'm catching feelings for others. Or maybe I just want attention from anyone since I'm not getting it from you. It's shitty of me I know. I feel guilty everyday. I think I've fallen out of love with you and it kills me to even consider that.
It kills me even more knowing that if I don't cut things off now, I'll have allowed you to make a big mistake by staying with me. I don't want to hurt you now, but I don't want to hurt you even more in the future if we..

I don't know what to do. I'm scared but I'm already gone considering the flirting.

The time we spent together was some of the best in my life and made me feel like I had meaning. I hope you can forgive me someday for the unfaithful piece of shit I truly am.

-P

>>18130375
Sounds to me like you're afraid to be happy. I think you're starting to realize it. Don't hold back. Enjoy every moment. Find the beauty in everything. Don't miss out because you're afraid of being hurt. Let people in. Express yourself. The more you learn to love yourself, the more you'll love others. Sorry I don't have advice specifically on how to lovercome yourself.

>>18129826
Anon from earlier...it's starting to ache and that self doubt is kicking in. The next time I could talk and see him is next week so this waiting game is killing. Why is he with me when he has another girl waiting for him? they would probably be so good together too....ugh, fuck off gay thoughts. Sorry, I just need to vent, my chums are assholes.

Call me. I'll pick up.

>>18131758
Will you? I know you hate it

I didn't get any sleep.. i wish we could just talk..i keep dreaming about us talking..just talking. Froud said we dream our desires, guess my only wish is that

>>18131758
You call and i'll be kind I promise

Off my chest. Here it goes, because it's going to be a long one.
For starters, I'm realizing how daft I am, how much of an absolute airhead I am, how much I don't know. Like, I know a little about a lot, but that's about it.
Well I guess the thing that's been weighing me down for the past few weeks, ever since I got back in to full time neetdom, is just how lacking in social skills I am. Like, I don't know how to talk anymore, it's getting to me. I've only recently realized just how quiet I am, and how I can never really add anything meaningful to a conversation. It gets me down, because I want to be social, it's that I don't know what to talk about, and idk, I get the sense that people can see that I'm trying to force it as well.
What else is bringing me down? Oh right, how I'm almost 22 years old, and I still haven't worked a day in my life. I've been applying for jobs, for real, now, and it's a little disheartening to not get any replies. This is my third year of being a neet... it's a little concerning.
And I guess with that, comes the normal complaints of being poor and not fitting in.
Idk, I went out last Saturday, and then I realized I couldn't even afford something as fucking inexpensive as a god damn sodie. It made me feel so upset.
Jesus Christ... I feel so fucking defeated. I'm losing my social skills, and my grip on reality as well. I feel like I don't understand people anymore. And it's getting me down. I thought writing this out would be a lot more therapeutic, but it's really not.

>>18131585
Reading that made me think you almost cared and loved someone apart from yourself... Almost. I noticed early on you needed constant validation from others, you set your sights high and it fed your ego. That enabled your condescending bullshit and lies. I've never stopped loving you, even though you tried everything in your power to make that happen.
I guess what I expected from you was too much, it's clear you need to fuck a bunch of people to figure out what you need from life. If you make that choice however, I don't think you'll find more than what we are. If you choose to follow the path of degeneracy it'll be a long lonely road on your own, i can't support you in that. If you choose to hurt me and put everything we are in the trash, you will end up in the situation you despise.

Make the call, allow yourself to treat me with the love I've given you over and over again. Or choose the easier path, learn to truly use people and become the beast you aspire to.