>invited to go clubbing in a nearby city with my friends >sitting

>my crush wants to dance with me, I refuse because of my ego and fear of losing dignity
If you got the fuck over yourself and stopped taking yourself so seriously, you would have been the one making out with her, I promise you. Pull that stick out of your ass

>>18116806
>my crush wants to dance with me, I refuse because of my ego and fear of losing dignity
The fuck are you so angry about? It sounds like she gave you a chance and you shot her right down. You ended up alone by your own choice, that night

>>18116812
I can't take that stick out of my fucking ass. I'm obsessed with my dignity, I'd rather kill myself than make a clown out of myself.

>>18116814
I'm angry about being forced to dance to achieve happiness. I fucking hate dancing. There's not a single thing I hate more than dancing.

Why do I have to do that shit? Why can't nice things happen to me without that fucking bullshit?

>>18116820
>I'm angry about being forced to dance to achieve happiness.
I don't know how one submits a meme to the meme-gods, but this should be a meme right here.

>>18116820
Dude if you're this rigid & defensive about your comfort zone, if you're unwilling to try anything that you might not do perfectly on the first try, any attempt at having a relationship with a girl will be a disaster.

I'm sure I'm not the first person to tell you this, but you need to lighten up a bit.

>>18116820
>I can't take that stick out of my fucking ass. I'm obsessed with my dignity, I'd rather kill myself than make a clown out of myself.
Then suck it up when your crush gets with another guy.

Why the fuck did you even go clubbing in the first place? What'd you think you'd do there, play cards?

>>18116823
>Memes xD!

I repeat

Why can't nice things happen to me without dancing? Why do I have to go through that embarrassing pointless bullshit?

That makes me feel even worse. If a girl isn't going to be interested in me just because I don't like dancing and anyone who does can fuck her I'm going to straight up kill myself, because I know that I'm never going to be able to do that shit.

>>18116830
Getting out of my comfort zone is uncomfortable as fuck, not fun, embarrassing and dumb.

I don't fucking believe that I'm a loser just because I don't like DANCING, God fucking dammit

>>18116834
Drink and talk with people.

>>18116840
>Drink and talk with people.
You can do that at home, you moron.

>>18116840
>I don't fucking believe that I'm a loser just because I don't like DANCING, God fucking dammit
I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and assume that dancing isn't the ONLY thing that makes you react like this. You seem to be very "set in your ways" for a young person, and I'm sorry but that is just not an attractive quality.

Compromise is a big part of a relationship. Sometimes you're gonna have to do stuff she likes that you don't like, or it's just not gonna work.

If it really is JUST about dancing, then you can find a girl who doesn't like to dance either. Not a dance club, though. I don't know what you expected from that evening

>>18116842
Just like dancing, you fucking moron.

I simply don't fucking understand why people feel such a need to do that shit.

>>18116849
You sound like such an unpleasant person to be around, let alone date.

Find a ho who dont dance, b-boi.

>>18116848
What other things are there? I don't like singing either, but whenever I get drunk or high I have absolutely no problems with singing along to songs.

>you can find a girl who doesn't like to dance either

Everyone likes that shit when they get drunk. I just don't fucking understand why I don't.

>>18116854
I don't fucking care if I sound like an unpleasant person right now, that's exactly why I turned my phone right when I got mad.

Also the whole event took place three fucking hours ago and I just came home after an hour long walk from the bus station, no wonder I sound unpleasant as I've never been this mad in my entire life.

>>18116863
I predict that you're going to be alone for a long time. Seriously, why the fuck did you agree to go out clubbing?

your first mistake was obviously going full autismo at the club, but your second mistake was coming to /adv/ for advice. the normies here will never understand you.
you need to cool off. i recommend laying down in your bed and letting the futility of existence wash over you.

>>18116863
you're mad at yourself, and the way you got into this whole situation and is now reacting to it strikes me as really really childish. Who the fuck cares about the ACT OF DANCING? It was just an excuse to get close without sounding like she wanted your dick right there.
HOW THE HELL DANCING WILL IMPACT YOUR DIGNITY? WHAT IS IMPACTING YOUR DIGNITY RIGHT NOW IS BEING SEEN AS AN STUCK UP CHILDISH ASSHOLE BY ALL YOUR FRIENDS (or they think you died or something and are really worried right about now). You really need to rethink this whole thing you've got going on.

>>18116873
If you still haven't realized that by now,
>I predict that you're going to be alone for a long time
Is the exact reason why I came here. And no, telling me that I'm an unpleasant person when I'm drunk, high, mad as fuck and tired isn't going to help.

>why did you agree to go out clubbing

No fucking surprise that I agreed if my best friend and my crush wanted to get drunk with me.

Also I asked them if we can go somewhere else but I didn't insist for more than 5 minutes because they really thought that I'm going to have a lot of fun and I didn't want to be rude.

The thing is, I really want to enjoy clubbing. People have a great fucking time doing that shit.

>>18116884
>full autismo

What do you mean? The only "autismo" part is refusing to dance. Honestly, I think that I managed to pull off everything perfectly until that moment.

I'm trying to calm down, I just took a shower. I'm just scared that tomorrow I'll feel much better and the same thing is going to happen next week.

>>18116888
>you're mad at yourself

Yes I know, that's why I'm here. I'm also here because I can't behave like this in real life.

I'm fucking obsessed with my dignity, I've never told anyone about my problems and I never will, I don't want people looking down on me.

Tomorrow I'm probably going to show up and pretend that I just felt bad after drinking too much alcohol.

I wish I could rethink that shit, but it's impossible. It's beyond my limitations. If I could rethink that shit on my own I would've done so 8 years ago.

>>18116901
>What do you mean?
i mean the part where you sat at the side for 30 minutes saying nothing and then left without telling anyone. who the fuck cares about your stupid dancing?

>>18116901
well, you gotta work on this "dignity" shit then. I don't know, start small, rehearse self-deprecating jokes in your mirror, make silly faces, look as stupid as you can, and then try to transfer that over to a public setting. make sure to drill into your brain that nobody really cares about your need to "appear strong".

>>18116913
I'm actually really talkative, I have no problems with being shy or anything. The reason why I wasn't talking was that everyone was making out on the fucking floor.

>Who the fuck cares about your stupid dancing

I don't know, most of the people than responded to this thread.

>>18116924
>I don't know, most of the people than responded to this thread.
didnt know this was a majority vote now. i told you i disagree with all the normies here.

>>18116921
The reason why I have a problem with that is that my self-esteem is really fucking low and I hate my face just because it's not a chick magnet. I know that I don't look bad, but I hate it anyway.

Self-deprecating jokes and silly faces aren't a problem. Dancing is more genuine, same about open flirting for everyone to see.

>>18116933
It isn't a majority vote, but apparently a lot of people care about that shit. That's my fucking problem, I want to have fun too.

>>18116941
so you don't have a problem with "dignity". It's self -steem, which means you're just afraid. You just got afraid and kind of froze in front of your crush, and are making dance related excuses to justify that. She's your crush, but she's not as great as you think, really. Start searching for some flaws, if you break the idea you have of her in your head, it'll be easier to relate in an intimate manner with the actual girl.

Or not, I'm just guessing here and projecting a bit.

Saw your post on arcanine, you sadfrog, one guy posted really good advice, honestly, reposting:

When she invited you to dance, it was your chance at showing her interest. Most peope dance like shit. People don't dance to show of skills, they dance to have fun and have a physical interaction with others.

When you refused, she probably interpreted it as you not being interested, so she went for her second option, which was the nerdy guy.

I had this exact scenario happen to me. Except that I was aware of the girl's intentions and deliberately refused because she was a top ratchet. she ended up fucking one of my best friend because she was mad I was turning her down. Girls tend to do that a lot.

Well it's too bad for you, OP. I can understand that you internalize this failure and that you see it as a form of injustice. I don'T have very big problems with girls, but I can understand having difficulty to make a move, then feel like it's unfair that girls don't see that I'm doing my best, but that's how nature behaves. Girls are turned on by actions rather than simply good intentions. You can internalize this failure, you can exteriorize your anger on the normies, but I'd rather suggest that you see it as a lesson, that, next time, if you get a chance with a girl and get in a similar situation, pay attention to the cues she's sending you and een if you run the chance of embarrassing yourself, go along and show her you have eyes only for her.

I know it's dumb that girls would just be "oh well he's not interested!" when you refuse even the simplest invitation, but, again, that's how they have always behaved, this is why you must not be ashamed of showing your intentions to her.

>>18116975
I don't really use r9k, I just thought that making two threads is a good idea.

Thanks for your advice anon, but I think she knows very well that I'm interested.

Reading over your comments OP it seems like you need to go and see a therapist or some shit because it's unhealthy to keep all of your problems bottled up on top of that you're probably just nervous because you haven't danced before, it is when it's your first time but then you realise everyone around you is either pissed and/or high so because of that no one is good at dancing

Ignore the faggots responding to you, each incident that you use to debase yourself will slowly weigh down on your self until it is crushed or changed completely from what you once had.
Your dignity is the most valuable thing about yourself, letting it go is either stupid or insane.

Why the fuck did you post on "advice" if you're not going to listen to anyone?

This is normal
Same thing happened to me, one girl got really interested in me but I behaved hesitant and went to the toilet room a couple of times before seeing her making out with another guy
He was just faster than me
It sucks but what can I do

Ya know what?! You fucked up! So what we've all fucked up before. Pick your self up grow just a little confidence and move on with your life. It sounds to me like you already have a spine you just need a little chest hair.

>>18117834
I can't go to a therapist, I couldn't stand someone looking at me with pity in their eyes. The only reason why I'm comfortable posting that shit here is because no one will ever find out and I'm anonymous.

>>18117840
That's exactly what I'm thinking.

>>18117933
Maybe because I seriously have a problem with myself and it's not going to magically disappear after reading a post or two, although I feel better now and maybe it will have an impact on me in a couple of days.

>>18117998
I don't know how, though. I started working out a couple months ago and I already feel better about myself. I wasn't fat, but I'm not going to be satisfied with mediocrity.

>>18116820
You have to choose between your crush and your """dignity""". You don't lose your dignity if your crush asks you to dance herself btw. You lose your dignity if say she asks you to take your pants off in public or something.
I hate dancing as well, with all my might. If it's just random friends around me I try not to dance even if I look stupid but if my crush asked me to dance with her I'd do it.
Either way we all fuck up at some point so don't worry about it now and learn for later. And maybe try to meet people who are more like you. Friend groups tend to have people alike so if you meet one who's like you they may bring along more people who are also like you. Groups alienate the ones that don't fit.
Decide what kind of friends you want and see where you can find that type of people.

>>18118327
I never had any problems with making friends, so I spend time with people I like.

Dancing is the only thing that separates us, that's why I'm so angry. We have the same interests, taste in music, literature and art and that's exactly why I feel so bad about myself. What stops me from doing that shit? Why don't I enjoy that stuff and they do?

>>18118323
>That's exactly what I'm thinking

Why the fuck did you even came here if you don't care about what people who doesnt share your opinions says?

>>18118346
What I meant is

>Your dignity is the most valuable thing about yourself, letting it go is either stupid or insane.
Is exactly what I'm thinking.

And that's why I came here.

>>18118345
You said it yourself, your dignity.
And yeah, it's the very sad truth but the vast majority of people, no matter how much they seem like you, like to dance. Maybe practice dancing and if you have a friend who you really trust and is very close to you to talk about anything, ask him what's the deal with dancing, ask him for tips. Hopefull yhe won't give you BS tips like "be yourself" and tells you more practical things. I can't dance myself either, I'm a disaster.
I understand what you mean by just going for drinks, I once went out with some friends and I legit thought they wouldn't like to dance either and would just go for drinks but it turns out 99.99999999% of the world loves to dance.
Imo the only part where you screwed up was not dancing with your crush. How did you respond to her exactly? Maybe you could have danced a bit or just suggested going outside or doing something else. Maybe she's a fun person who doesn't mind you not dancing like a professional.

>>18118355
>anon, let's go dance
>I'm not really feeling up to dancing right now, let's finish this beer instead

It sounds worse in English, but I feel like it was okay in my language. We finished the beer, then I fucked off to the toilet and when I came back she was hugging with the guy. They didn't notice me, I sat on the opposite side of the table and they started making out.

I wanted to talk some more because I was really enjoying the night up to this point, but then I fucked off.

>>18116901
87% of the people you see in a club dance like shit. Thinking or acting like you're below that is kinda sad.

Here's what I guess about you
>you're not really comfortable moving your body when you feel watched
>you're most likely very unathletic or feel bad about your body
>you get nervous and overthink to the point where it cripples you when thrown in situations like these that you don't have every day

But then you go all
>muh dignity

My friend you can keep your dignity by not being a spast when in these situations.

Aight OP you sound pretty similar to me in terms of how you think etc so I'm gonna try to be more helpful than these guys and put it in terms you'll understand, hopefully anyway.
What you seem to have is argumentative personality. You came here for advice, and people gave you advice, but you shoot it down because you think it's wrong. It's inconsistent with the logic you use in your own thinking.
OP, you gotta learn to break that. You gotta learn to trust people's advice even if it sounds totally fucking wrong. It'll feel like you're betraying yourself, like you're forcing yourself into cognitive dissonance, but it's the only way out of this mess.
As to getting over your 'dignity' (not the word I'd use, people are laughing at you for your personality far more than they ever would for your dancing), might I suggest getting drunk beforehand? If not, try finding something that gets you giddy. Alcohol and shitposting as well as a few individuals in my life get me like this. Giddiness is an interesting feeling because you can't really experience it and fear/anxiety/whatever you call that feeling you get when you dance at the same time. So try to find that crutch and exploit it when you get into these sorts of situations.
OP, you /really/ need to work on these personality traits. You're using them to defend yourself, I get that, but look around you. Plenty of people get on just fine without them- in fact, the most successful people at any given pursuit seem to almost never exhibit them.
Reform yourself, and people will want to be with you. I'm in the process of doing the same myself, and it'll be a long haul and it'll feel shitty along the way but you gotta have faith that it'll be worth it in the end because if not, you may as well just check out of society right now and either kill yourself or become a NEET, because those are the only things you've got the predisposition to become.

>>18118521
You got the first two wrong, I love giving speeches and moving my body around in a civilized manner, but yes, I don't like my face and avoid looking in the mirrors.

I don't work out, but I'm far from being fat. I'm 6'1 and have more of a thick but skinny body.

I overthink everything, up to the point that I convince myself that people dislike me if I don't hang out with them for longer than a week. I also have mental breakdowns for absolutely no reason.

>>18118593
I always have arguments with people, so yes, you're right. I'll try to follow the advice I got in this thread.

I was already drunk as fuck before going to the club and I drink a lot in general. In fact, I'm going out to drink tonight.

But thanks anon, your post is probably the most helpful one yet.

I always thought that my argumentative personality is a good thing - the teachers in school always really liked me even if I wasn't paying any attention and I was really good at shit like speeches, debates and stuff involving people in general.

I'm scare that if I'll get rid of these traits I'll be uninteresting and mediocre, because that's what people always liked about me. Also I really don't want to become a passive "nice guy".

why do you think you had to dance?
you could just said to your crush you wanted to kiss her

you talk about your dignity but you're a coward, your crush asking you to dance doesn't mean she wants to just dance with you, faggot
and that's not dignifying

File: harlan ellison big sam was my friend.jpg (239KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

239KB, 720x1280px

>itt: i take an obvious hint and dance because MUH UNCURABLE PRIDE
1. It's your own fucking fault that you lost her. She gave you the opportunity and you dropped it like a football player with sporadic parkinsons
2. Why even post on /adv/ if you're not going to take other people's advice
3. Quit with the dignity "chronic dignity" bullshit. You take yourself way too fucking seriously about something as stupid as pride. Guess what, we've all done stupid shit and been embarrassed. That is no reason to never do anything risky. You don't have any problems (besides probably autism) that could prevent you from doing something like dancing. If you keep telling yourself that it's impossible to NOT do shit like dance because you don't want to embarrass yourself, then you're just gonna be a fucking failure that can't try to work past his flaws.
4. It was dancing. In a club. With a bunch of other people dancing. Dancing in a club with a bunch of other people dancing is not embarrassing no matter how bad a dancer you are.
5. She asked YOU to dance with her. It's easier to dance with a non-autist helping you than dancing by your retarded self.
6. If by some miracle you actually have a legitimate problem, and you can't justify going to a therapist because they scare you, then you should really just grow up. Therapists are made to make you comfortable.
7. Move on. Grow a pair. Get some confidence in how you look from one of the thousands of confidence threads on this board.
8. This guy was right >>18119837
9. You ARE completely redeemable. Your friends and your crush seem to genuinely care about you and you shouldn't deny their support. You're not some lone wolf anime character. You're not a fucking loser like I'm sure I called you in this post. You're someone lucky enough to have friends and go to parties and you should savor the moments you get. Laugh about the embarrassing times with your friends and don't take those times too seriously.
10. Take the fucking advice.

>>18119978
i spent 15 minutes writing that, checked over it, and still missed over the error on the first sentence.
*itt: I can't take an obvious hint and dance because muh uncureable pride

>>18119978
Thanks anon, I'm screenshoting your post.

I'm really drunk right now and feel much better. Honestly the thing I was the most scared of is that I'm unable to recover from that shit, but now I kinda see that it's fixable.

I think I shouldn't treat myself like a movie star, recently I started noticing that everyone has their flaws and people still like them.

Gonna go clubbing again next week.

>>18116901
Do MDMA you'll dance and have no isues with your dignity.

>>18116806

Everything you just described sounds like your fault. You had all the openings in the world and just sat there in your own self-importance while everyone else had fun and got pissed about it.

>>18120011
I've done MDMA a couple of times and it was great, but the comedown is fucking terrible

>>18120024
I know, I said that a couple of times. Read the thread.

>>18120049

>I know, I said that a couple of times. Read the thread.

OK, then you have the answer to your problem. Thanks for stopping by, glad we could help.

>>18120061
>hey I have a problem with myself
>you have a problem with yourself
>yes I know, I said that already
>WELL HERE YOU GO, YOU HAVE THE ANSWER GLAD WE COULD HELP

Anon, don't you need help too?