I'm tired of having to be the bitch. My husband gets to

Are you against having fun?

Don't let.him undermine you but don't make him you. Try to be more light hearted but firm in your rules . You sound controlling an flower hungry.

>I hate that my husband is fun and good with kids

Have you talked to him about this? Could you not arrange a reversal of the good cop/bad cop roles, and let him tell them to do the shit they hate to do and you give them something fun? Just be frank and blunt with him

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>>18116467
>Yes he pays the bills, and yes he fixes anything that breaks.
and your the kid wrangler
tell him you want him to back you up with the rules

>>18116467


Post made my night.

I love femanons.

God bless the heavy hand in the relationship.

>>18116472
No. I just hate how they act like I'm the warden and daddy is the clown. They don't even ask me to read to them anymore, but they ask him.
>>18116477
He knows he's good at manipulating and charming people. But he acts hurt when I imply he's trying to.

I just like running a tight ship where everything and everyone is taken care of.
>>18116478
No, it's part of why I married him. People called me a bitch all the time and he actually took the time out to get to know me. And he has mellowed me out.
>>18116483
Good point.

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>>18116467
>My husband gets to do all the fun, silly, irresponsible shit
>Yes he pays the bills, and yes he fixes anything that breaks.

>>18116502
So what? At the end of the day it's a fact kids love their moms more than their dads.

Probably why he wants to seem like a fun guy. It sucks no matter how much fun your kids have with you, you'll never get the kind of love they have for their mom.

>>18116467
>My husband gets to do all the fun, silly, irresponsible shit
>Yes he pays the bills, and yes he fixes anything that breaks.

so what the hell do you do?

>>18116512
They're not mutually exclusive
>>18116515
Mm, well my oldest son does like emulating me and hanging around me more. He can be mischievous like the others but he's mature enough to understand why I do what I do and backs me up when the younger ones get huffy. He's like 70% me and 30% daddy.

>I hate that my husband is successful in what he does and I can't ruin that sensation of a good family.

Think about the children, how many women have acted like you and gotten nothing out of life? About 98%. This is a golden opportunity for you to have a good life, don't fuck it up because of your selfishness.

I know a lot of women that I respect that act like you need to because it's a part of life, if anyone criticizes you for it just think of a comeback by stating that you need to bear the role of handling the children and he bears the role of taking care of finances, work around the house, children, work and connecting with other people. Consider yourself lucky.

>>18116529
>Cook
>Clean
>Do laundry
>Iron
>Budgeting
>Taxes
>Shopping
>Help kids study
>Teach them violin
>Make appointments
>Teach them Arabic

>>18116467

Are you too focused on being strict and setting the rules to have any fun with your kids?

"Good parenting" doesn't mean being overbearing and having an iron grip all of the time. Why don't you have a little more fun with them?

You do realize that if your kids are constantly stuck with an overbearing parent, they're just going to rebel like fuck when they get a chance, right?

>>18116532
people arent greentexting at you because they're exclusive, they're greentexting at you because one thing is what excuses him to do the other thing

disciplining your kids sucks. it's obnoxious, it's time consuming, it makes you feel bad.
basically it's a job. specifically, it your job. his job is to provide for your family, and that's what he's doing.

as long as he's not going out of his way to teach your kids how to smoke crack, you don't have a lot of room to criticize him for not doing your job.

>but it should be both of our jobs!
no.

>>18116552
>Teach them Arabic
this explains a lot holy fuck

Just talk to your husband OP and try spread the

This might not be a consolation but you're dynamic sounds like the one I grew up in. When I was younger I preferred my dad because it was "fun" but once I got older I much preferred my mum. I emulated her a lot and I have considerably more of her in me than him.

Everyone thought my mum was a bitch and I love and admire her to death.

>>18116467
I hate to break it to you, but this is EXACTLY how good families are supposed to work. Your situation is ideal. The good cop/bad cop routine is great.

As you're finding out with your eldest son, your kids will grow to understand & appreciate all the things the "bad cop" does for them. When they're tiny-minded little hellions, they won't get it, for the same reason they don't really understand why they can't eat ice cream for every meal and paint on the walls.

Don't take it too personally. Don't let it build up into resentment for your husband or your kids. It sounds like he's working hard and doing a lot for the family, and frankly he deserves to have some pleasant time with his kids after he's spent the whole day earning money to provide for their needs. That's what he's doing it all for.

If he's not giving you enough attention to make you feel appreciated for everything YOU'RE doing, then you should discuss that with him. But don't try to fuck up his role as "good cop" for the kids. They need it, he needs it, and you probably need it too, even if it's sometimes frustrating that you don't get to play that role too.

>>18116552
>Teach them Arabic
ehehehehe

>>18116553
I know. Now I think I might just be jealous.
>>18116554
The way I was raised is woman controls everything inside the house. Everything.
>>18116555
My father is christian arab. My mother is generic white burger.

As much as I don't like to admit it I take after his personality. His employees still call him "Saddam" pejoratively. I don't have a hair trigger temper anymore though.

Stop being a cunt.

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>>18116552
>>18116584
>hey kids I'm home, who wants ice cream!
>dadddyyyyy!
>mum walks in
>ABDULLAH WAHABI DURKA AL HALAL MOHAMMAD FALLAFEL, WAGAHLAH MULLABA JIHAD

>>18116584
is the father not arab? He doesn't sound like some strict arab guy.

>>18116552
So you're a housewife? Maybe it's because they see you all day and dad for only a few hours.

>>18116467

Even men can raise children better than women who knew. Women are practically useless for anything other than sex and actually having the kids.

>>18116584
Should have taught them Punic instead.

Then stop being a bitch you confirmed bitch before and after you had your man and kids

Bitch please

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>>18116567
I'm not worried about losing my husband's attention. He still tries to feel me up at the most inappropriate times like a frisky teenage boy. But I'm sure they'll start to "get it" one day.

One of the girls I used to tutor contacted me over facebook and thanked me for being such a harsh mentor.
>>18116586
No u
>>18116599
Spit out my coffee, now the dog's looking at me weird. My brothers dressed like fucking durka durkas and scared the shit out of my husband when I introduced him.

>he's sitting in the lounge while mom makes food
>brothers shout from outside room
>Takbir! ALLAHU AKBAAAAR!!
[random arabic]
>Push open door and come in with swords
>Infidel! Have you defiled our sister?!
>He's scared but giggling because they're making retarded noises and then dancing

I'm lucky he's pulled way worse pranks on people himself or he'd probably have broken up with me

>>18116467
Haha enjoy your stay at the annoying fat wife/mum lifestyle you are shit tier for sure. Fucking burn you dumb bitch.

>getting married, having children

There's your problem.
Break the cycle, live your own fucking life people.

>>18116603
He always got the final say, but otherwise mom ran things indoors.
>>18116614
Valid point

>>18116663
>He always got the final say, but otherwise mom ran things indoors.
My bad I meant your husband not your dad.

>>18116643
Holy shit, I've never met anyone that's half white and half Arabic. I thought it was a rare species. Feels good knowing I'm not alone. Are you Christian/Muslim?

>>18116493
This.
Yes it's okay to have fun but he can't undermine you in front of the kids. And he's only teaching them how to be manipulative, not in a good way either.

Also try not to be so up tight. I know how it feels to constantly be undermined and made to feel like "moms rules" mean nothing once dads around.

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>>18116467

You're the woman. The children is your job.

Accept your job with some fucking responsibility and be a good mother to your children you fucking whore.

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>>18116643
>>he's sitting in the lounge while mom makes food
>>brothers shout from outside room
>>Takbir! ALLAHU AKBAAAAR!!
>[random arabic]
>>Push open door and come in with swords
>>Infidel! Have you defiled our sister?!
>>He's scared but giggling because they're making retarded noises and then dancing
God dammit. That made me laugh. Your brothers sound pretty cool.

>>18116643
Honestly this is crazy, I would have never imagined that a married arab mother with kids would be posting pepes on 4chan. You are a demographic rarity for sure.

Now because this is /adv/, I have to ask, what are some fun things you could go do with your kids that would help you all loosen up around one another?

>>18116643
okay this is a good starting point, and it tells me you have a good sense of humor. Use that to your advantage when approaching your husband and kids about this issue. What makes them all laugh?

>>18117343
4chan is a very diverse international community. We just usually wouldn't describe it that way because we're not faggots about it

>>18117518
>. We just usually wouldn't describe it that way because we're not faggots about it
if only the real world were like this

>>18116467
maybe try being more fun with the kids

i understand this greivence but the fact that you want your kids to like you means you are a good mother. it is very important not to hold these things against your kids or husband the will be more willing to work with you than you think just try to talk with them about this maybe get them in a little circle or something

>>18116467
You're there all day with the kids they aren't starved for your attention.

It's normal for them to want what they don't have 24/7. E.g if you worked and he stayed at home they'd get really happy too.

Do some fun stuff with them

At least you have a husband to pay the bills and you don't have to juggle working and looking after them.

My Dad left my Mum when I was 2 and she looked after me and my sister. She was always stressed about money, we were poor as fuck.

She died of cancer when I was 18. I believe it was because of stress. She was healthy as fuck.

Its rare to have a Dad these days. Let him have some fun as a thanks for not being a fuck head and bailing.

>>18116477
>You sound controlling an flower hungry
What?