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Is it normal to get to a stage in a relationship where you love them and want them but you just feel like two people who are part of each other instead of lovers or even friends?
A breakup would make me feel more lost than heartbroken, like losing a usefull but not sentimetal object. A feeling of "Shit, I needed that. Now I have to find another."
My girlfriend is just... her. I don't feel attraction or resentment or boredom or anything. I feel for her like I would family. They are there and they will always be there and I am happy to have them but not sad if they say, take a vacation for a month or something.
It this wrong? A sign that the relationship is dead?
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>Is the relationship dead
No, the relationship has just matured. Congratulations, Anon, you two are no longer in the surface puppy love phase. This is a good thing.
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>>18114951
No.
Relationships have a cycle.
There is lust and attraction, and there is comfort and connection.
The former stages are where the excitement and romance is, the latter stages are where a sense of bond and trust come from.
Some people stay in that first half for weeks, some for months even, but eventually it fades and people find themselves waking up and wondering, "What the heck? Who is this person across from me? What did I ever see in them that made me think this would work?"
The people who survive this though, they move on to the next stage and start to build bonds, attachments, trust and all the things that make things feel easy and comfortable. And this stage can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few years. Eventually though, if a couple stays in this stage for too long they end up feeling like all that comfort and ease ends up feeling stagnated and boring.
And now from that point on is what separates a truly successful relationship from the rest.
It's the ability to treat those stages not as a straight line of progression, but as a cycle.
The ability to go from being at the comfortable stage, the stage where things have settled in and normalized, back to the fresh and exciting stage to rekindle your passions and make new, that's the hardest part. That's the part where 50% of even married people falter and end up realizing years down the road that their relationship has peaked, that they want out, that they want a divorce.
Finding a relationship where you can repeatedly go through the cycle multiple times, over and over, from fresh and exciting back to comfortable and easy and back again, that's hard.
But It's almost never self-evident. It takes effort. It requires you to try and look for it, and to act on it.
If you don't, if you take it for granted, you'll probably let a potential success just slip by without you ever having been the wiser.
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