Every time a friend and I go to either of our places drinking

Cool blog

>>18114438

we are all taught that its unhealthy to share a bed with anyone who isn't a romantic interest. same goes for kissing, and even if we hug, we tend to amke jokes about it. not every time, but a lot.

but think about how humanity actually worked, and to do that just look at any animal. how do they sleep? well most pack animals sleep with thier pack, in a pile. its called 'dog pile' for a reason.

go a little further dow nteh evolutionary line and you'll find that men were travelling without women, first for hunting, then for business. do you think they divvied up and stayed cold all night?

no. man continued to cuddle with man. we talk a lot about how there's 'alpha and betas' but pack dynamics are a lot more complex than that. an alpha is just the leader, but that doesn't make everyone else his bitch.

men looked out for each other, comforted each other, and yes even cuddled. and if they had a very strong friendship they probably did what passed as 'kissing' back in the day.

look at how children greet each ohter and play. we only don't do that because society says we shouldn't. but in reality we still want to climb all over each other, be naked in the same spaces, and touch each other inappropriately. thats why sports exist.

or you might be some level of gay, idk.

>>18114438

are you me?

Just suck his cock already, dude.

>>18114470
That is why I see no issue with this. Literally this was a normal type of thing in society pre 1900s and normal for any other animal. But we have these odd rules dictating our society that seem to forbid it. To be fair it is kind of annoying.

>>18114472
I could be you.

>>18114474
To be fair if he offered MAYBE. Never had an interest in that but I do whatever. Doesn't really phase me.

>>18114492

as long as you're not trying to rationalize that you're not gay it doesn't really matter. a lot of people are interested in closer male friendships, and thats great.

but some people are legit gay and are trying to convince themselves they're not even while living an actively gay lifestyle, because they're more afraid of the word 'gay' than what it means.

>>18114496
Love is love dude. Love whoever you want and be happy. I am an odd one. I won't discount the gay part, straight or bi parts either. I seem to lapse through odd periods and it really depends on my interest.

He's been of interest for about 2.25 years (take maybe a 0.75 of a year off for when we argued). But in 2015 and 2016 I also had a love interest who was female. Unfortunately we were complete opposites and she is happy with someone who is like minded.

I have to have a deep friendship, an attachment of a sort to whoever it is. Makes dating hard because I am very picky about friends and people. So due to this Men and Women are in the mix. I can't personally say gay or straight anyway because I have a proven desire for both sexes. Only I am more sexual towards women and more Kiss/Cuddling towards men. It's a hell I wish upon nobody.

>>18114438

You're both either bi-sexual, gay, or just a little curious. Maybe it continues, maybe you guys forget it and move on. Whatever. Its fine, dude. No biggie.

>>18114438
sounds like my ex, he sleeps with his room mates. to each his own. if your friend is okay with him being kissed then whatever, although its kinda weird.

>>18114525

thats all fine, just giving you a red flag to watch out for.

its certainly an interesting dynamic you got going on.

at the very least i think cuddling is nice, and there seems to be a growing public trend of it in the UK if news articles are to be believed.

if i were you i wouldnt push too far with your friend. even if he does want it, it can ultiamtely ruin the friendship, and there's nothing better imo than two men who are able to be close enough to take care of each other, and sex can ruin that.

a few weeks ago I had a hard time and i took it pretty hard. my friend came over and i asked if he could just hold me for awhile.

we legit cuddled for the length of a full movie and while it was clearly awkward for him it got me out of my funk and ive been pretty great ever since.

pretty sure he got a boner during that time, but he was doing me a favor so i didnt give him a hard time about it.

the last few years ive abstained from dating and have focused on friendships. i used to hate hugs and now i love em. if im sitting by a bud i like to put my arm around them. if were at the club i wont be afraid to dance with em.

im at the point where i even kiss them on the cheek once in a while (Granted in a jokey bugs bunny type of way).

its only with my close friends, i feel uncomfortable if people i dont know well try that, but its nice to feel close to people with out it being romantic.

i think male bonding is something our generation missed the memo on.

>>18114438
>estentially we are both guys

The fuck does that even mean?

>>18114438
>lol no homo bro

>>18114525
You sound like a very kind and genuine person. I think I would like you a lot if I knew you.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Life is short and as long as you enjoy each other's company I would not think too hard about it and just act the way that feels right for you two.

>>18114544
You are actually a full blown legend. That is pretty much how it began for me. I also hated hugs but now all I want to do is put my arm around a close friend while we watch films. To be fair he isn't the only friend I like to have this with but he is the only one I am willing to go as far as I do with and invest majority of my time.

I really dislike how this type of bonding seems to have died. The Greeks were full on into it, so were many other civilizations. But as history moved forward it seems to have died off. Kind of sad. Man you make me feel a lot better about this stuff.

>>18114575
>I am not gay

Is this all you were looking for? Some random anon to tell you that you aren't gay?

>>18114558
I always wanted to say something to him. If I do I don't think it will ruin anything in our friendship.

Genuine? Yes. Take it from years of betrayal, outcast and deceit. You find one person, you fuck up so much towards each other in ways that friends would not stick around. We always made it right, always. We are both similar in our terrible time at school that a lot of experiences are shared.

After so much bad happening to you I guess you tend to be a lot more genuine because you find real friends who don't care. I'm happy my school period was bad.

>>18114575

unfortuatnely the downfall for it came from open homosexuality. when that was more hush hush there was no worry about two men being close, it was just friends.

but now that gays do that, people worry of the comparison. not that i blame gays, we all should be allowed to be that close with anyone imo regardless of if its sexual or platonic.

in the middle east because the gay aspect is 'hush hush' they are actually a lot more open to what we call gay behavior. its not uncommon to see them walking down the street arm in arm for instance.

as a result friendship has a great importance over there as well. because romance isn't really 'romance' so much as partnership there, the strongest bond men tend to have is with friends.

In Guam young men were expected to have a male partner (in a non gay way) that they would be tied to for life, similar to marriage. The man you chose to be your best friend owned everything you owned, could enter your home at will, etc.

romance is an amazing thing, but I've had so much of it and never realized how much i was missing out on male bonding. it sucks that we spend so much of our time looking for someone who takes us away from our boys.

>>18114599
I will be honest though this male bonding stuff has worked wonders for my anxiety issues, depressive states and in general motivation. I put it off for so long until that night we kissed and I have no regrets about it.

>>18114613

its legit helpful. cuddling with women is amazing, they're very motherly and nurturing.

but sometimes, or even often times you want a strong hug, not to feel nurtured, but to feel safe, supported.

women remind you of waht you have to offer, to do. men remind you of waht can be offered, support.

plus you can't always have a girl around to cuddle, but your boys are always around.

>>18114625
I was just curious though but would you recommend telling him straight up how it is with me?

Something like, "I feel like I may have forced you into that cheeky kiss and the many hugs. I would like to let you know that I see it in a close friendship way and intend it only as a form of male bonding. If it bothers you I'm willing to stop doing it."

I feel like he would say sure thing in the end to it or maybe say it is fine and lay some boundaries. The secret thing I am finding it annoying is all.

>>18114643

i wouldnt if i were you. when you get drunk and mess around you can pretend it was the booze and wake up the next day pretending you forgot.

but when you talk about it, it becomes real, and hes forced to address the world which says that you can't do any of this if you're straight, and even if he is a little gay, thats bad, because gay means faggot who likes lady gaga.

>>18114652
I guess you have a good point with that. I often forget I am the massive history buff. I found that once I began reading and studying ancient and modern history texts my views on everything really changed. Study history folks that stuff is life changing.

>>18114665

it really helps you appreciate the way things used to be, though it also helps you appreciate the way things are now.

gotta love our comforts.

>>18114438

you in LA op? we should cuddle.

>>18114687
Australia, my apologies :(

>>18114696

bet you have a cool accent. if you ever want to vacation to los angeles you can crash on my couch.

>>18114525
>It's a hell I wish upon nobody.
...it sounds kinda nice, actually

>>18114805

i was gonna say this.

i miss the days of sexual exploration. i mean i still 'explore' but not in the the traditional sense.

>>18114805
Surprisingly i'm still here. It is a real nice feeling for yourself but the inability to express it is annoying.

>>18114829

a lot of people think of secrets as bad things. but i find it nice to ahve a secret, something special thats just for you.

and this is it.

though you could always just do the subtle approach and when soemoen does something nice for you, or just something cool/fun you can just be up front and say 'i love you' and kiss them on the cheek.

start with bugs bunny humor kisses then work your way up.

>>18114834
Well that is exactly what I have been doing. He made comments about it a long while back when we were arguing. The proof is my secret but I have made it obvious to him. Pretty much what you said.

>>18114853

>comments about it a lo gwhile back when we were arguing

did he not like it?

>>18114859
It was different back then. Friends were all in his business. Back then it was the societal acceptance thing and he just flipped out and shit talked to everybody.

Now though, it just seems a lot more different now that we aren't in arguments. At first he was like what the fuck but now he lets it happen. If he doesn't want it he won't say anything he just moves. But otherwise he seems alright with it. Told me he loves me a few times, said he enjoyed it but then backs out a little later. Like I said the whole society image I think gets to him.

>>18114874

sounds like hes either a little gay and afraid of admitting it or is straight but wants a closer bond but is afraid you're gay / that others will judge.

hard to say.

at least you get to have a little fun.

>>18114879
Indeed that is true. I believe he wants to have something of a sort. Like what I want but he is too afraid of what people would think of him. Last night, fell asleep with my arms around him while another friend was there. He mocked the action when he thought I was sleeping to the mutual friend. He even mentioned a kiss and said, "tried to kiss," which he clearly DID a while back. He can't say shit anyway. Woke up tightly in his grip and he played with my hair before I fell asleep.

Honestly, from what I seen and explained I believe it is societal defense. I often do feel bad in case I am wrong. I believe I am right but if i'm wrong then I would not feel good.

>>18114897

nah man he definitely wants you to some extent, i wouldn't feel bad about it. if he lets this happen and plays with your hair than hes definitely enjoying it in some way.

>>18114903
Although I do say that alcohol is a truth serum (with some exaggeration to the truth), there is still a chance it could be the opposite. He has always been a more truthful and happy drunk anyway. Trust me, I believe he is into it just not as into it as I am. I am not afraid of showing it in public I just accept it and think I should lead by example.

>>18114919

pretty much. sounds like a decent arrangement. id invite him over for more movie nights and 1 on 1 game nights and stuff like that. whenever he beats you, smother him, etc.

>>18114927
Trust me we have a lot of 1 on 1 drinking nights and netflix nights. Although, we live with parents and brothers which also makes it awkward. There isn't much straight up alone time we can get.

>>18114942

bummer man. im going to bed but i wish you luck with your bromance.

its been a fun thread.

>>18114943
Yeah it has and thanks everyone so far for these responses. I have to head off to work anyway. If this thread is still alive in like 5 or 6 hours i'll be back otherwise... Have fun.